Time... And This Pursuit

... in response to It's time for my famous, 'Hmm...', posted by DR on Dec 22, 2001

I agree with DR in his post. It's very important for those experiencing healthy marriages or relationships not to give to much credence to the many negative responses located here. Married people must do everything possible to protect their happiness and not allow negative seeds to be planted that are not necessary. That is not to say the the warnings and sober advice here is not valuable, but once the relationship is solid and working well, then you must do what is necessary to maintain it. I have been writing and visited my Fiancee for 18 months now and we have our papers in to be married. During our months together, my fiancee was questioned many times by her friends and colleagues about whether our she was wasting her time and questioned whether I really had intentions to marry her, since I didn't propose until after we had known each other for fifteen months. I took more time than most to ensure the relationship was right for both of us and visited her three times at two weeks each viist. Still these people continually looked at her like she was a mislead puppy and wasting her time. She was encouraged by an agency owner to continue to look for other men and he said it was okay to have several men going at the same time. We both knew that we needed only each other and rejected these pessimistic advisors, who may have been well intentioned, but their views were skewed by what they occasionally happen in other relationships around them. It's important only to measure your own relationship and if it's strong, then protect it with everything you have, even if it means staying away from negative people. In a country full of scams and broken promises, and a forum such as this where people have been misled or been heartbroken, there will be statements that are biased and often are more harmful than good. Surround yourself with support, optimism and encouragement in your obviously good marriage and you will strengthen it greatly. Jim