Time to throw in the towl

[ron]

... in response to Is this a troll?....., posted by LP on Dec 22, 2001

lp, if you cannot tell this is a troll then you have drank to much holiday cheer!

[DR]

... in response to Is this a troll?....., posted by LP on Dec 22, 2001

Listen, I'm not here to save anyone and neither is Jake.  If Jake was sincere, he'd just vanish...*poof*...instead of departing with a singular post!  So melodramatic it's sickening.  It's even written in the EXACT SAME STYLE as some of the previous posts.  Check it out for yourself.  You can change the subject matter but it's much harder to change the style or writing when it's written by the SAME person!  Ha!  

"If I heard a tale of woe a "million times" I'd at least be inclined to investigate it more and pay some attention, if only to cover my butt. One thing I would not do is automaticaly decide the guy involved was solely the problem."

Hearing tales of woe only serve to make people paranoid and second-guess themselves.  Who needs that?  Make solid/sound decisions, take decisive action, and don't look back.

Also, I hope you're not implying that I 'decided automatically that this guy was the problem'.  To do such would imply that I took this person's email seriously...which I did not!  

"Not 100%, but lots of truth there for those willing to open their eyes."

Again, let me emphasize one point, even liars tell the truth sometimes.  However, which are the lies and which are the truths?    My money's on him being a troll!

[BubbaGump]

... in response to Even liars tell the truth sometimes..., posted by DR on Dec 22, 2001

It took them a year to stop ending with the word "loser" in their posts.  It makes them sound more sincere.  

I think if we were seeing a bunch of individual guys writing about their negative experiences, they would sound different every time.  Maybe this person took my creative writing criticism to heart, you can't just keep pasting the same material here over and over.  Write something new.

[BubbaGump]

... in response to Yeah, it looks familiar, posted by BubbaGump on Dec 22, 2001

Bad spelling and references to all the women looking like prostitutes.  I think Claire is trying to spell better but she's not educated and it's an uphill battle against years of ignorance.  The ending is somewhat kinder and gentler than in the past but still not that different.

[DR]

... in response to Yeah, it looks familiar, posted by BubbaGump on Dec 22, 2001

I remember that very post of yours.  Man, that seems like such a LONG time ago.  Time flies, huh?  

Cheers...
DR

[LP]

... in response to Even liars tell the truth sometimes..., posted by DR on Dec 22, 2001

....to you guy's superior troll sniffing, I'm not so good at that. (He is registered and has a profile, guess that means squat.) lol..Guess that makes me a trusting cynic, a very strange breed indeed.

Troll or not, me thinks he speaks some truth, his tale may be a fabrication but some of his generalities ring very true.

DR, paranoia and second guessin will save your butt when you *can't* make sound/solid decisions. It can actually be a heathly thing if used properly.

Jaded in your old age? lol..No offense, but I see you're 27. Just how many whacks can you have had at 27? You need to get beat up some more. :-) *I* claim jadedness, I was married with kids before you were born. (ouch, it hurts to say it :-) I envy you, you can afford "not to look back" becuase the road streches so far out ahead. :-)

My point is that paranoia and second guessing is a learned skill, and is a heathly thing in moderation. In the professions I've been in, lack of it can kill you.

lol...But I gotta admit, you be a Jedi troll hunter, ya musta trained early. :-)

[DR]

... in response to OK, I bow...., posted by LP on Dec 22, 2001

"Troll or not, me thinks he speaks some truth, his tale may be a fabrication but some of his generalities ring very true."

I agree with you completely that there may be elements of truth tucked away in 'his' message...but those elements aren't limited to relationships with RW/UW.  Furthermore, 'his' post is no different from what is always stated here.  The only difference is that 'his' post is disingenuous...and I object to such behavior.  When Claire (see archives if you don't know who she is) *first* began 'trolling' here, she at least attacked people directly.  This person, whether Claire or not, hides behind false pretenses and facades.  Why?  I think it's because this person has no real experience with marriage to a RW/UW and needs to fabricate stories in order to strengthen 'his' argument.  

Let me say one more thing about this issue before I move to the next topic.  Whenever I read a post here at PL.com like the one in question, I always have this question in the back of my mind, 'Why did this person write this'?  In the case with 'Jake', why did 'Jake' spend 30-60 minutes writing that long series of paragraphs that most people didn't even read?  This question is rhetorical...just something to think about.

"DR, paranoia and second guessin will save your butt when you *can't* make sound/solid decisions. It can actually be a heathly thing if used properly."

I think we'll have to agree to disagree on this point.  I will not let paranoia and second-guesses ruin/taint my perfectly healthy marriage.  Taken in context with the rest of your message, I understand your point about me being young and having the freedom to hold such an opinion; I can't argue with you there.  And, I'd like to say, from your lips to God's ear.  

"Just how many whacks can you have had at 27?"

As far as relationships are concerned, umm, not many whacks at all.  I think I've fared pretty well, actually.    

Now then, what I'm about to write is a bit of a departure from the body and spirit of this post but you brought up the issue of age so I think it's appropriate to make these comments.  As a young person, I must admit to you that it's a bit troublesome to read some of the posts here at PL.com.  I jokingly referred to myself as being 'jaded' earlier when I wanted to minimize the vitriol of my initial post to 'Jake'.  However, 'jaded' is a poor word choice considering that I have always been disappointed by the behavior of some of my 'elders' here at PL.com, even during my first week here almost 2 years ago.  Certainly, some of the poor behaviors displayed here are due to failed relationships...emotional baggage and what-not...but, as we all know, explanations of poor behavior are no excuses for poor behavior.  I don't know what drives 'Jake' exactly but I wish 'he' and his ilk would move along quietly...freeing bandwidth for the genuine, rational folk to discuss issues with sincerity.

Hmm.  I think maybe my time at PL.com is coming to an end.  I've garnered just about every nugget of truth to be found here.  It's been fun...but, as you even said, "my search is over".  

Cheers...
DR

[LP]

... in response to Okay...your post deserves better treatme..., posted by DR on Dec 22, 2001

..with much of what you say. About paranioa and second guessing: I was speaking in general terms, not just about marriage. A dose of suspicion about most things does no harm. Call it learned intuition, a gut feeling, the hair on the back of your neck standing up kinda thing.

As for marriage, they all start out well. People change and bad things sometimes happen that you can't control. I hope you never know the feeling of helplessness that occurs when you simply can't stop the downward spiral between you and a loved one. Add in some betrayal, a dash of infidelity, and a pinch of outright dishonesty and you'll reach a point where you'll be circling the drain so fast you'll never know what happened. The worst part is that it can scar your soul for a very long time.

If you've escaped many whacks thus far, you've been very fortunate. However, in a general sense, your time may well be coming as it does for 95% of us. You're young and have much time to suffer the emotional trauma that life mets out, often with little notice. I hope you get less than your "fair" share but, statisticly speaking, there is seldom avoiding most of it. All you can do is try to control what you can, so as to not perpertrate any upon yourself. Believe me, there are enough folks who'll do it for you.

Keeping all this in mind, try to forgive your "elders" (including me) for their behavior here at times. Yes, me thinks you be correct in that much of it is due to stress, as I suspect some here have had or are having a tough time. Yes, it seems at first glance that would be a poor excuse but as you age life often becomes more complicated and the pressure builds instead of remaining at the the same level.

lol..I'm reminded of a youngster that once told an old man he wasn't "with it". The old guy growled: "I used to be with "it", then "it" all changed and became very confusing and scary to me."   He then leaned right into the youngster's face, lowered his voice and whispered: "It'll happen to you".

Jeesh, sorry to sound so fatalistic but thats what age (life experience) can sometimes do. Glad to see you have an open mind about it, many guys your age still think they know it all, like when we were teens. Marriage and kids will wise people up quickly and you've got a good start on that road. It just goes by so fast, sometimes it's unsettling when you finally realize your rushing head long towards the Big Sleep. lol..We all oughta be born with a clock imbedded in our chests that counts down, then we would look at life in quite a different way. Even without, it's good to keep in mind that no one gets out alive. :-)

Yeah, I know who ClairWitch is, not much we can do about her. Jake? Well, it seems his post had everything to do with R/W, and only R/W. Your comment that his situation would apply to any relationship seems in error, at least keeping in mind he was refering to an FSU search.

I submit that your situation may skew your veiwpoint because you're finsihed with the phase he was in, you're now in "phase two". While married guys like you have much to offer on phase two, it seems only natural that they would have a slight aversion to those who "whine" about not having the same luck. After all, you've been successful, and if you did it why can't they? lol...thats a rhetorical question for you also :-) Just try to keep in mind that there but for the grace of God.....

His post may have been no different than "whats always stated here", but that doesn't change the fact much of it is truth and he may not have visited us much before he made it. Maybe he simply found us and decided he would try to "help" us out. After all, wanting to help others is basic human nature. Why did he write all that? I think he was just trying to offer us his experiences, simple as that. The fact that they were a rehashing of whats been here so many times before actually seems valuable to me, it's one more data point. After all, knowledge is power.

FWIW, old Jake emailed me after he got beat up. I know that doesn't mean much, but in talking to him I got the impression he was only trying to help. He just couldn't pull it off, didn't know how. Frankly, to tar and feather a guy, then run him outta town on a rail based only on intuition is a behavior here thats disappointing to me. We could have given him the benefit of the doubt, at least beyond one post. Oh well, your tolerance will increase with the number of your years, Grasshoppa. :-)

lol...Never been much of a philosopher, see how long and boring this post is? While I'm keenly aware perhaps thousands will read these words, my writing style is always as if I'm writing privately to the one I'm posting to, in this case you. Thanx for stickin with it, the others can take a hike. :-)

My best wishes for the new year and many more to come.

[BubbaGump]

... in response to Okay...your post deserves better treatme..., posted by DR on Dec 22, 2001

I hope things go well for you and you can come back with some positive progress reports.  Guys don't post much after they get married and I can't blame them.  You're in a high stress situation with medical school.  

The reason you stuck in my mind over the many other posters here is because my brother in law did some of his pre med at Vandy and several of my friends went there.  He's a very successful doctor now and sister is very happy with him.

[DR]

... in response to OK, I bow...., posted by LP on Dec 22, 2001

n/t

[yoe]

... in response to Trained by David Caradine himself, grass..., posted by DR on Dec 22, 2001

n.t