Fiance report # 5

[keith]

The wedding is fast approaching... Kate wants to have nice pictures to send to her folks back in Ukraine. I have been pretty much been put in charge of arrangements for making the wedding look nice and for everything to go as smoothly as possible. It is not my cup of tea but because I love her and want her to be happy I am trying my best. Wish me luck.

A few thoughts to those out there looking or even making the trip across the ocean to visit their potential mate.  There is no one right way of doing this... you have to find your own road... veterans here can report what has been true for them but as the saying goes... your mileage may vary.

For example:  This board has been of great help to me in planning the logistics of the trip... visas, plane trip, what to expect when arriving etc. but some of the advice about relationships has been silly.. at least in my opinion so I advise anyone out there who has a mind of their own to just go and find out for yourself. One example which has been a frequent topic for the board has been the "age thing".  The conventional wisdom is that if you are a man my age (46) then you have no business looking for anyone under the age of 35. I can see where this comes from... if you are looking at some 20 year old barbie doll and you have the looks of jabba the hut then you might be setting yourself up for a fall... but otherwise if you use some common sense it really is not an issue. This is not only from my experience but also from my observations of several other couples from Russia and Ukraine that we have met in the past month. Both couples have been married for over 3 years by the way ...and one couple has children and the other couple has one on the way.   these guys are NOT greek gods in the looks department... I am of course LOL ( not )!!

If any newbie is interested in how I found my sweetie...  I put in several ads in the paper in Ukraine... one free and the other I paid for... guess what?? I met my sweetie from the free one... just the way things happened... no rhyme or reason to it ... then from some good advice from Dan and others about visas , plane tickets etc and from Jack for assistance in finding a place to stay in Kiev I went over to Ukraine and met two girls I had been writing to for almost a year... one was a major disappointment and the other one I fell in love with...  by the way I was READY to fall in love... that is a question you need to ask yourself...

Okay until next time... just a few thoughts and I sincerely wish everyone ... all the best,
Keith

[Rags]

... in response to Fiance report # 5, posted by keith on Dec 23, 2001

Good luck and congratulations. I'm still lagging behind you a little.

[keith]

... in response to Re: Fiance report # 5, posted by Rags on Dec 23, 2001

Hey- no problem- if you need some wedding pointers- Im your man!! LOL
Keith

Tip one : When shopping for wedding dress and ring- you can spend two weeks looking and looking-  then you get her best new friend (female) to go with her and boom!! you got yourself a ring and dress the same day!! LOL
Keith

[Mike]

... in response to Fiance report # 5, posted by keith on Dec 23, 2001

Keith,
I must agree with most of your post. If a man thinks that a lady 20 years younger is in love with him then he is only fooling himself ! My RW says it is common for such girls to find love in a man that can provide security, but the love will come later and it is likely she will give the impression of love first knowing it *should* come later. BUT these relationships typically don't last a life time, because the lady eventually realizes the fact that she is young and he is old, and the relationship is old and at the point where it is not so exciting ( like average relationships )and combined with seeing other attractive men out there who can also provide, well it's easy to see why they want to move on. Also it doesn't take them long to realize how humiliating it is here to be seen with a man old enough to be their father. Sure there are exceptions, but on average I would recommend keeping an age gap of 10 years or less when searching for a mate. Unless you are a man that wants a new girl every few years anyway ??

Mike

[keith]

... in response to Re: Fiance report # 5, posted by Mike on Dec 23, 2001

Thanks Mike for your post-  but we will agree to disagree about the age thing- Ive heard it all before and it doesnt stand up to my experience- I am 18 years older and the other 2 guys are more then 20 years older then their wifes- and all 3 of us dont have much money so the rich sugar daddy thing doesnt hold water- I guess what Im saying is each case is individual... Im not saying it is true for all or even most but for the 3 couples Im talking about the age thing has not been an issue... go figure... lol
Keith

[Mike]

... in response to Re: Re: Fiance report # 5, posted by keith on Dec 23, 2001

Keith,
I hope you're more correct then I am ! If my wife decides to leave me later in my life, I doubt I would want a women that is wrinkled in the face like me !

[tim360z]

... in response to Fiance report # 5, posted by keith on Dec 23, 2001

a very good post.  Relationships???  We are all on our own on that one.  One can read all the books study all the manuals,  talk to everyone you know,  read the Pl Board---but,  in the end it is the interpersonal dynamics between 2 people that really matter...all the rest is just sheer bullpucky

[mdante99]

... in response to Fiance report # 5, posted by keith on Dec 23, 2001

Keith:
Keep us posted.

Mark