Hello Everyone
This is not exactly pleasant reading here ... and it is really long too ...
This is just an observation of something that finally hit me last night from the 9/11 tragedy and I decided to share it in light of MArkUSA's present situation because it parallels it somewhat.
Up until yesterday I have been numb and somewhat Nonchalant about the Terrorist events of 9/11. I woke up and checked AOL to see a picture of the impact displayed on their welcome page. and I honestly thought -- what is this an ad for some new action movie? Then I checked my mail and received one from my friend in Albany declaring oh my god can you believe this! I turned on the TV and watched the events. But as a refuge from the continious coverage I cleaned my bathroom as I had previously scheduled.
Before going to work I received an e-mail from my cousin that her husband ( a state trooper) was being deployed 350 miles away to partol the streets. His accounts were amazing about little old chinese women bringing the firemen water from chinatown. The new fire rookie who was left behind at the station because "he was too green" as the rest of his fire house perished. And the looks on the NYPD as they searched for their own. My cousins husband normally a very serious and stern straight shooter wrote that he was glad he was wearing sunglasses so no one could see him cry at what he saw from behind them. He was sent down to the city on 3 different occasions afterwards to patrol.
I attended my cake class 3 weeks later about an hour north of the City and Some of my classmates were New Yorkers and they recalled working in food service at a brokerage house on wall street and seeing the Second plane hit. Or another one had planned on going to buy chocolate bread in a bakery in the towers basement that morning at about 9 :30 but she decided to sleep in that morning and postpone it for another day.
It turned out that my friend in Albany who is not a great e-mail conversationalist had a Cousin who worked on the 20 th floor but made it out okay. But since her apartment was too close to Ground zero she couldn't even find refuge there so she went to Washingthon DC to stay with her mother. With no Job and no shelter what else was she to do?
Of course I was intrigued with the first hand accounts I had heard. I was interested and captivated, like everyone Also hungering for more information but also getting tired of the reppetitiveness of it all on TV. I recently looked at the photographs in a news magazine while waiting in a doctors office. Amazing and disheartening but I still was somewhat callous to the situation. My rationailing mechanism kicked in again -- it is fate, luck of the draw, a sad situation but
I didn't know any of these people ... etc etc.
But today I received my Pastry magazine that I subscribe to and it really hit home finally sort of.... On the last page, where there is usually a light hearted closing pastry antic. There was a memoriom for Heather Ho The Pastry Chef of Windows on the World. I saw her picture, and I thought did she die from an Ailment? or an car accident? but then I read the caption below the picture in the corner of the page. Though I have never met her before it hit home somewhat because it put a familiar face (to me at least) on the event. she was one of us! a member of the the pastry family at large.
She was 31 - 32 obviously of asian decent sort of cute and had caught my interest before. She was one of the 60 or 80 staff members who perished serving a brunch to a group of around either 300 or 600 British guests I think on the 100 floor or higher. Heck I have even been up there before to take in the view.
And more importantly I had seen her pastry creations before in various books and magazines before. she had attained a certain level of success. She was someone who made an impact in her own way and I respect that. In her picture she looks so young with so much to offer and that was taken away. I dont even want to fathom the circumstances that befell her and the others somewhere on the 100 - 110 th floor in the kitchen I just hope it was quick.
Well I am sorry to recall these grisly events of 9/11 but my point is that you never know when the Rality of life will hit you and really sink in.
MArkUSA's recent Life challange (and also Howard's for that matter)will take a while to really sink in To the point that he has clarity and understanding of his situation. As a nurse he has emotional defense mechanisms to guard his sanity from what he sees occur around him on a daily basis. There will come a day though that he will see the situation with michelle for what it was meant to be. Maybe these expeiences and challenges were presented to you right now to help develop a new level of your personality that you will need for the future as you interact with others. From your happy experiences with michelle and your recent loss you might say something to one of your patients or their families unknowingly that may make an profound impact on their life. For better or worse you have impacted our lives causing us to once again examne our mortality and destinys.
All the best to you and as Howard says keep the faith!
Windmill Boy
