Did everybody get a virus or something?

[BrianN]

very quiet!

[BrianN]

... in response to Did everybody get a virus or something?, posted by BrianN on Jan 8, 2002

I guess I remember too much of the "bad".  The good were always the filipino people.

Difficult subject for me...  a ton of buried anger towards a lot of AM treating asian women like crap in the past.  

Most all of them... my age during the years, very young, dumb, and just plain out screwed up.

Enough is enough... I hope I never see it again.

somebody delete this thread, I got carried away and never intended it to go this far.

[BrianN]

... in response to Did everybody get a virus or something?, posted by BrianN on Jan 8, 2002

My first next door neighbor, (back then)... I don't know where he met her, or how he even got her here, but she was the most gorgeous, most voluptuous filipina I have ever seen in my life.  (I was all of 22 at the time, going on 42).

Corrupted the he11 out of her.... between knife fights with my filipina gf and shouting matches (I don't know why but maybe mine was constantly on edge anyway and jealous? - bigger boobs maybe?), he used to have guys over while he watched... (bragged about it too?!!)

That's all I'll say here...

Why do men do this?  Maybe they all got dropped on their heads or had the crap beat out of them when they were kids like I did... hmmm.

burp.

Then, later that year in Olongapo City, I sang on the stage with Gloria Manila and Eva Eugenio, (during 2 separate songs both which I was nuts  about), like a crazy american during octoberfest... Mayor Gordon hugged me, shook my hand and gave me a six pack of San Miguel before I left the stage, (I made a great freak show for the locals and mil. with those star babes that night).  

I wasn't any good, (of course), ESPECIALLY with THESE awesome women, at the foot of Rizal and Magsaysay, no where to move because of the crowds.... but it was easy to disappear in them afterwards.  Slither and dither.

Somebody gimme some balut and pass the san miguel.

[BrianN]

... in response to Did everybody get a virus or something?, posted by BrianN on Jan 8, 2002

amazing how I only know of bad GUYS, not bad women.

Maybe the only "bad" one that I know, was my "lost in life" ex... Not really though, no regrets no matter how tough it was.  

A good filipina friend of mine... when I was staying at a friends next door (for 2 months)... every night.. all I could hear was him yelling and punching holes through their walls.  What a REAL Bstard.  It was like this every night and that woman was a total wreck, with two small boys with him.

They're (the boys) in their early 20's now.  I sometimes wonder what happened to them.  My step-daughter talked to me about the oldest one a couple of days ago.... and he's ok, but that's all she knew.

This guy "D", was a security type dude in the nav, and carried a .38 everywhere he went.

Scary nights, every night... I kept waiting for a bullet or two to come flying through the wall at housing after he came home; what an ashole.

I know you all will... but I'll say it anyway... treat your woman right, and give her the love and respect that she deserves as the love of your life.  If you don't like her, or are too insecure to handle a relationship like this, then divorce her and set her free.  She's a person, not an object to yell at or kick around.

Funny how some guys can treat their dogs, better than they treat their wife.

[BrianN]

... in response to Did everybody get a virus or something?, posted by BrianN on Jan 8, 2002

that brought home ANOTHER WOMAN'S BABY to HIS beautiful filipina wife.

Met her at a friends house (whilst borrowing a p/u truck), and she and I got eyes for each other so fast, I was having a fit inside that I had just started a new relationship with another divorced filipina - (which had a very rocky beginning).

This newly divorced, beautiful, soft, short haired filipina was what I had been looking for all of my life.  My timing could not have been worse.  Matter of fact, this lady ASKED ME OUT... (whoa?  Could this actually happen to me?  In America?).

So, I set her up on a blind date with one of my best friends.

They married three months later.

(Now THOSE TWO, were a perfect match).

Next time, I'll properly adjust my timing I think.

[greg]

... in response to Then there was this guy.., posted by BrianN on Jan 9, 2002

keep those Filipina stories coming. Guys can really learn a thing or two from reading your stories )

[BrianN]

... in response to WoW You got me on the edge, posted by greg on Jan 9, 2002

I gave up a "perfect" love of my life because of my own standards of commitment.. to another, even though I knew what I had wouldn't work.

dam.  jack i hope you guys are getting along and doing well... wherever you are way up north...

I miss... YOUR wife... very much.  Not jealous, just....

God she was perfect.  I'll never forget the moment that C told me that she fainted, when her husband showed up with that other woman's child in their own home.....  I had never heard of such a thing, but knowing what I did at the time, I knew that it was possible, (american navy guys are crazy sometimes)... and that she wanted to go out with me.  WOW.  First time in my life here in the USA.  

I don't regret hooking her up immediately with my best friend who was also recently divorced, extremely decent, fatherly type guy... like me..  (this one, the longer I think about it, has the power to bring a strong willed guy like me to tears).

I just regret not having ... ahhhh forget it!

This wasn't a matter of hot, or good looking, it was a matter of turning down the perfect match, a "softly" beautiful woman, that was actually interested in me, because I wanted to do the right thing.

Sometimes, I wonder if it's possible to love and hate one's self because of doing the RIGHT thing?

I didn't have the guts to back out of my commitment to a crappy situation then... and now?  

I'll never do that again.  NEVER.  I'm going dam it.  Got a good thing going... decent, logical... it ain't love yet, but if I let that door open... when I get there...  I'm ready after all of these years of isolation.

Just got out of a endless relationship of 3+ years, tough enough...

"Save it till the morning after".

[yc]

... in response to That one... is too tough to deal with in..., posted by BrianN on Jan 10, 2002

Hi Brian,

Good stories Brian.  I see life has provided you with many examples of what is good and what is not so good.  I can relate to this very dilemma that you had gone through.  I had a similar such dilemma some years back myself.  The only difference was that in my case, it was because I stuck to my guns of doing the right thing that I did not get burn as bad as I would have.  The moral I learned from that incident is that doing the right thing should never be a burden to you.  Doing the right thing should offer you freedom.  That is why I have choosen this way to find a wife.  Many people would look down on this method for finding a spouse.  But you have to look at who's happiness is at stake, and who has to live with the person that you select.  Life can be one of the best teachers if we choose to learn what it has to offer.  I think you are right on the money.

Take care.

[BrianN]

... in response to Did everybody get a virus or something?, posted by BrianN on Jan 8, 2002

Maybe my story may seem a little crass.. however, for all of the years I was in the Navy, I recall so many young guys bringing back Philippine, and Thailand women back to the states, and that's when all of the "horror stories" began.

This is why I fence sit on this issue. (I only knew of one asian woman that ever cheated on her husband that wasn't abused).

Spousal abuse, from immature guys that wanted a beautiful wife, bring her over, then they end up in the brig or jail because of outright physical abuse of these women.  Divorce.. cheating.. women running away.. It DOES happen.  The worst ones were the guys that just couldn't deal with reality and drank their problems to oblivion, then blamed everything on the wife.  Jeez.

These guys were kids, trying to play house, but not knowing how.  Hmmm, seeing the wife visit the hubby on the ship, visiting them at home, or going to some of the pot-luck get togethers, it was unbelieveable listening to how they talk to their wives, basically as if they were employees and maids, but not a wife.  Then, every other time an argument breaks out, the "i'll have you deported" argument comes into play.

Then there's the ones that swear they'll kill her if they find out she's been going out to a bar or two while he was gone... "that s-lut!" - after he cheated on her (again), overseas..

There were a lot of exceptions, and happy and successful couples, but... after seeing this for a number of years, you kind of come up with your own statics thing for figuring out if relationships are actually going to work.

The last thing that has incensed me totally over the years, were guys that were stationed in the Philippines, build up a small family, have children, then when their tour of duty was up... poof, they disappear without a trace, leaving their (unmarried) girlfriend of 2-3 years behind, along with their own kids.  If you visit the Philippines and see any older white kids, it's where a lot of them come from.  (I spent an entire 2 weeks last time I was there helping a lady and her beautiful 5 yo blonde haired daughter tracking down her "american" relatives... but she was just one of them...).

So there... that's a horror story, and I don't like it any more than you do, but it is the outright truth.

Your mileage may vary.

Good luck all..

[Jeff S]

... in response to Horror Story..., posted by BrianN on Jan 9, 2002

I've never spent any time in the Philippines (nor in the military) but have spent extensive time in Japan - particularly Yokohama with the nearby Yokosuka US Naval Base. Just as you say some of these young, horney men off to a foreign land are looking to play house with the first sweet young thing they come across, and the marriage later goes sour, what do you have to say about the young women that hang around the areas where there are young GIs out looking for a good time. I know in Japan, self-respecting young women avoid young American GIs. Bad girls, and the rebellious types out looking for a good time are the only ones you see living, working, or hanging around Yokosuka. Same goes for Thailand. Massage parlor girls in Phuket meeting the Navy and merchant ships to pitch their services aren't necessarily the kind of stock most of the guys positing on this board are interested in marrying. As Stephen is fond of saying, Mother Theresa and Al Capone don't end up married to each other, no matter what story the divorce attorney hears. I guess what I'm trying to say here, is that if your the hard drinking, hard partying type, you tend to attract similar women, and if you're the pious, hardworking, self disciplined type, that's what you should be looking for and that's what you will attract. The key here is some serious self examination and looking at yourself with a critical eye. Ray, I thought your idea about sending a letter to your pen pal explaining your faults in detail was an excellent idea. Often times it takes putting on paper random thoughts to codify them into a sometimes very revealing pattern you may not recognize ytouself. I'll bet writing those faults was as or more revealing to yourself as it was to your sweetie.

-- Jeff S.

[BrianN]

... in response to OK Ray & Brian ... What about this?, posted by Jeff S on Jan 10, 2002

Ray's right on this... however, the Philippine culture is entirely different from all others in Asia.

We were there since the end of WW2.  Their history books revere General McArthur like the saints revere Mother Theresa.

Then we bombed out and left.  It's like one day there's an economy and opportunity, and the next, there isn't.

Doing this was an accepted way of life... and it was nothing akin to a sailor literally living on the mustang ranch, but rather, you could walk into town, and find a woman of your immediate (and long term) dreams in seconds or minutes.  Sure, she might have some prior(s), which were looked at by others as being a bad trait, but then again, it was so easy, it's like shooting goldfish in a bowl.

But ALL of them Wanted to find love and a man.. and did not want to continue down this path.  (I've known street women in the US that preferred to stay on the street, but never in pi).

Who's willing to commit to a relationship (and take a chance) and who isn't?

Women were willing to make commitments, based often on false hopes, and most of the men just provided those false hopes, and disappeared.

I know... I was one of them that actually "thought" that I had moral standards...  My only flaw, was that one lady, dang it..  another day.

I'm still in love that woman, 19 years later.  Can't believe it's been that long.

[Ray]

... in response to OK Ray & Brian ... What about this?, posted by Jeff S on Jan 10, 2002

Jeff,

I spent my share of time running the Honcho in Yokosuka. But my impression of the ladies that worked there was not that they were “bad girls” or “rebellious types”. I saw them mostly as business women. The girls who worked the bars were mostly all business and not in it for the fun times.

Hookers were not really that prevalent in the clubs. I would say that most of the girls were more of the independent type, not interested in marrying and following the old Japanese traditions. They would save a good chunk of their money and after a few years, retire from the bar scene and open their own business. A lot of the bars and night clubs were owned by ex-bar girls. My understanding was that this was one of the few ways for an independent Japanese lady to get ahead and make a decent living without marrying.

There were a few real-hard-partying Japanese girls hanging around the vicinity of the base, but I would definitely put them in the minority. The Honcho was very tame compared to Subic or Angeles. It was too expensive to have a Japanese girlfriend, so most guys just saved their money for the next port call, especially if that port was Subic or Pataya.

I’ve known a few guys who married Japanese women, but most of them were stationed in Japan for several years. I would say that sailors marrying Filipinas outnumbered those marrying Japanese by AT LEAST 1,000 to 1. Also, the vast majority of the guys who married overseas had no intention of finding a wife when they went, but they just fell in love along the way :-)

Ray

[yc]

... in response to Horror Story..., posted by BrianN on Jan 9, 2002

Everything that is being said hear is true.  Having been in the military myself, I can honestly say all this is true.  I have never been stationed in the Philippines, but the story is the same--only the location changes.

[Ray]

... in response to Horror Story..., posted by BrianN on Jan 9, 2002

...I'll back you up on everything you said :-)

Ray

[BrianN]

... in response to Did everybody get a virus or something?, posted by BrianN on Jan 8, 2002

No real story, not much of one anyway... I stole another guy's wife that he was beating and locking up in the apartment, bringing his buds over for buds and using and treating her and her daughter like crap.  (Basically an abusive marriage of inconvenience).

3 years later I married her.  Things didn't work out so well, because she was under duress at the time with their kids, custody, etc.

We worked the deal for almost 20 years.  It was a long road of survival.  Eventually, I left the navy after 12 so I could make sure MY kids were also taken care of properly.  

All that said, my life was a horror story anyway before then, so not everything was her fault.  It went both ways.  We worked it out in the end... she seems to be happy now, she keeps trying to tell me she's got another friend she wants me to meet that lives in vegas... my step-daughter the same thing, but supports my decision to do what I'm doing.  My ex is funny, 7 years older than I am, still good looking and still gets the looks from young and older guys.  Lives with another good guy on the other side of town and is a lot more stable than before.

In PI, shoot.  That place is addicting.  If anyone's ever been in the military or otherwise and spent any significant time there, it's a place you never want to leave.  The women there are the nicest I've ever met anywhere, and while some may seem to have ulterior motives, what american woman doesn't either?  

I think it boils down to this... these days in this society, I think that so many AW put sex and money first, and keep the L word hidden somewhere until they are sure they got the other.

Everywhere else, the ladies are actually INTERESTED in love, and seem to want that to be the priority first, and assume the rest will be there (money etc).  So, I don't have to own a bmw and eat $100 a person by the seaside restaurant bit to find sincerity. (Any AW want to challenge me on this?  Stop by sometime and we'll go out to eat sometime right?  You're interested in ME?  Or the atmosphere? Or the price of it?  Don't like my car?  Not fast enough for you?  So... I don't wear a suit to work and look like Tom Cruise?  Wait a minute, I thought you american women wanted a 'man'... LOL!).

I can actually go to a foreign country, and get a smile from a lady at first glance, instead of this... "stay away from me you predator" thing I get at the local grocery store.

I've spent considerable time in the philippines, sometimes 2 weeks, sometimes 2 months... (oh for the love of ship board casualties that keep you in port for so long!).  In the west coast navy, in 'dem days, Subic bay was like your home port away from home.  So, you temporarily home ported there, and went off doing exercises and other port visits... to other countries, always returning to Subic.  (Hotel rooms with aircon were like $7.00 in those days with a community toilet, and in room shower).

Other than that, I have no horror stories, just pleasant experiences.  The negative stuff I figure, just goes with the territory on which one treads.  (Yeah, sure as heck, last week gave the ex $200 for whatever, and sure enough, it ended up with her mom in Surigao! - again - no biggie, like I said... goes with the territory).

The more time you spend there, the more time you'll get to know the culture, the people, and be able to figure out the positives and negatives... motivations... It can be fun.  

Just try not to be in a hurry and keep both eyes open.