do's and dont's

[phat35]

I read posts here a lot but have never posted. I have been writing a beautiful Filipina lady for about 8 months and am planning a visit. My question is, are there any do's and don'ts I should know, Such as when I enter her home and things like that. Also Should I give Her mother and father gifts to show my appreciation for their hospitality and allowing me to visit their daughter and what would be a good gift? Any help will be appreciated. Thank you

[donb2222]

... in response to do's and dont's, posted by phat35 on Jan 12, 2002

American chocolate always makes a good gift.
A bag of Hersheys assorted miniatures pleases everyone.
Also, depending on where she lives, mano po is a nice gesture that will get a big smile out of her parents and grandparents.
You will probably remove your shoes before entering their house. Just follow what the others do.
Ask her parents for permission to date their daughter. They will say yes, but it is a nice formality.
Everything you do will be reported back to the family, so be nice to the chaparone, taxi drivers, etc.
Anywhere you go you will probably be expected to pay, but keep it simple, go to Jollibees (Filipino version of McDonalds), not fancy restaurants.
You are expected to be the one to make the plans on dates, going to the mall or Jollibees is a good place to start.
Public display of affection is discouraged, do not expect her to be affectionate in public.
Family is extremely important, ask about hers, and tell her about yours.
You will be respected more if you are polite and thrifty, do not throw money around.  
Bragging is very bad, do not show off pictures of your house, or car, etc.  They will automatically assume you are rich, if they ask, just explain that you are doing okay, nothing more.
If you decide to get engaged, make sure you discuss EVERYTHING with her, finances, children, expectations,etc.
She will think America is just like the movies, and that money grows on trees, politely explain that the movies are not reality.  Do not make promises you cannot keep.
Many Filipinos are very romantic, and expect relationships to develop very quickly.  It is tempting to go along with the romance,  but it is very important to keep your head, and GO SLOW.

Don

[kevin]

... in response to do's and dont's, posted by phat35 on Jan 12, 2002

A couple of things.

At the dinner table, when somebody offers you food, or more food, accept it even if you are getting full.  This does not apply if it's salad or other food, that for health reasons, should not be eaten.  It's courtesy to eat what's offered.

As for gifts, treat everybody with something simple for each, but yet be careful not to spoil anybody.  I mean you could inaadvertently create the impression that you're a multi-millionaire because you give away things, everybody will make outrageous demands on you, and when you can't and won't deliver, relations get very ugly.  I'm sure Bear will have alot to say on this topic.

One mor thing, althought this is a Catch-22 situation. (ha-ha) Don't fart at ther dinner table, in the living room, etc.  Yet if you're trying to hold one in, somebody might ask "what is the matter?"  Filipinos are very keen on body language and facial expressions.  If you're trying not to fart, you might give yourself away by your the movements in your facial muscles as you endure the gas pains, or the slight shift or movement in your body position.  At the very least, in this scenarion, trying to be polite will probably raise suspicion that something is wrong.

- Kevin

[Zebson]

... in response to Re: do's and dont's, posted by kevin on Jan 12, 2002

Kevin, I have to admit you had me rollin this morning by what you said....and that's not easy first thing in the morning. How you managed to interject something like Flatulence into a cultural question and then you even make it sound legitimate, that's just a great one! Have you ever considered writing a book on the subject? Anyway..you have probably already been to these two sites cause you are the Master. The Dog one cracked me up. Don't ask me why I posted this...hahahaha.

Zeb

http://www.gibbleguts.com/harmonics/
http://users.utu.fi/snapir/fart/dic.html

[greg]

... in response to Re: do's and dont's, posted by kevin on Jan 12, 2002

heheheehe joking )