Calling all people with negative experiences

[EbonyPrince]

... in response to Re: Calling all people with negative exp..., posted by Fuzzyone on Dec 14, 2005

I guess that is where the confusion comes in.  How do you not know that you have a dud before you pull the trigger?  Can the language and cultural barrier cause this or are people just diving in way too quick?

I realize that most negative stories will be told from the person writing the negative, but I know there are two sides to every story.  That is why I am interested in what people that made the mistake have learned from the mistake?

[Fuzzyone]

... in response to Re: Re: Calling all people with negative..., posted by EbonyPrince on Dec 14, 2005

I think if you read some of the stories of failure here it might help you. I had a
pretty good one several years ago that was a good read. If you listen to what
some of the stories that were posted are trying to say, then it might help you. I
think what most guys that failed here made the mistake is don't keep going
forward if there is something wrong. When I mean wrong I mean the following....
Does the girl never let you meet her family? Does she demand money gifts ect?
Does she fight all the time with friends and family?  Is she very jealous? Late all
the time? DROP HER SHE IS NOT WORTH THE TIME.

[EbonyPrince]

... in response to Re: Re: Re: Calling all people with nega..., posted by Fuzzyone on Dec 14, 2005

Couldn't jealousy be good thing?

[soltero]

... in response to Re: Re: Calling all people with negative..., posted by EbonyPrince on Dec 14, 2005

Hopefully any thinking person is always learning. It may be very difficult to know if you have a "dud" if the only frame of reference is the time you spend with them in their country. In their society, a lot of the negative things that may come out after they are here may not be permitted or tolerated there and they know it. They grew up hiding the things that definitely would not fly there that they can do here with abandon and then call the police on you or threaten to do so. Calling the police in their country might get them killed either by the police or by their own family when the police leave. This may be an exaggeration, but you get the idea. I was trying to be funny, but family has a lot to do with their actions there and taking them away from that can change them. Some for the better and some for the worse. Take your time, choose wisely, and then take some more time. The one that truly loves you will wait.

[Spanky]

... in response to Calling all people with negative experie..., posted by EbonyPrince on Dec 13, 2005

[This message has been edited by Spanky]

"I am very early in my search, and I want to be as much prepared for the experience as humanly possible."

If you are true to these words then you are on the right track. If this is only rhetoric then you need to heed them.  Marrying early is like buying a house in haste. You will be haunted in later months and years with things you overlooked. Take an oath now:

"I will make at least 5 trips to Colombia before I become engaged."

There is no reason on Earth to rush a relationship. The more you are convinced you've found the princess of SA the more you owe it to yourself and her to be sure the relationship is true, and that everything has been worked out before you pop the question. Rarely do you NOT hear a guy speak about how sure he was before he became divorced. Some men on this site need to realize that life is not "The Women's Channel" where encounters are most often a perfect love/marry at first site. Those who fold, and can't help but "pop the question" early on, in my opinion, really need to grow some balls.

[utopiacowboy]

... in response to Make at least 5 trips before you become ..., posted by Spanky on Dec 14, 2005

I enjoy watching Spike TV as much as the next guy but you make it sound as though it's some kind of contest to see who's got the biggest cajones.

[Spanky]

... in response to You make it sound like Ultimate Fighting, posted by utopiacowboy on Dec 14, 2005

n/t

[utopiacowboy]

... in response to No comprendo Senor! want to run that by ..., posted by Spanky on Dec 15, 2005

At the bottom of your post, you said,"Those who fold, and can't help but "pop the question" early on, in my opinion, really need to grow some balls." You make the whole thing sound like some kind of battle or contest of wills. A guy hasn't got any balls if he asks a chick to marry him early on and somehow she's gotten the better of him. Maybe, maybe not.  

[valleydude]

... in response to Calling all people with negative experie..., posted by EbonyPrince on Dec 13, 2005

I didn't get so far that I was taken for a ride, but I have come across some negative experiences in which I am usually blinded. For me it is not because of beauty, quite honestly the reason I become blinded is mostly because I am reluctant to cut my losses after I invest a lot. (Time, and in the long run, money)

Yeah; there are no guarantess on the relationship perspective, but I think the best way to have an overall positive experience is to go where you have wanted to go. For example: If you are thinking "Colombia", then don't get side tracked by the Dominican. Go to Colombia and move on from there. I have been curious about Colombia for a long time, but what did I do? I got side tracked and went to Venezuela a couple of times.

This time I went to Colombia, and I have had a positive experience. I don't resent going to Venezuela, but I often felt that I had to at least go to Colombia to see for myself. This time if things don't work out with my current interest then I can at least move on without wondering "What if I went to Colombia?"

This is just my 2 cents, but either way come back and share. Someone, someday, will listen. haha! If everyone baila out when they have a bad experience then there is so much lost.

Have Fun!

V-Dude

[Hoda]

... in response to Calling all people with negative experie..., posted by EbonyPrince on Dec 13, 2005


that can protect you from ANY or ALL "negative" experiences. You gotta remember....this is a relationship between two people. There will be difficult times & conflicts that you'll both need to work through. Many, many guys before you have been "informed" Lawd knows how many ways on "what to avoid", "what to look for, etc, etc, etc" only to be slapped silly from another direction :-)

The "hard, but most rewarding part" of this quest, is after you've found each other...