Stories of Peru

[RexB]

I got back from Peru a couple weeks ago and thought i would share some stories of my trip. This was my 5th trip to SA. I have been on two with TLC and 3 on my own. I am in my 3rd qtr of Spanish at the Adult Ed.Center and practice in the car on the way to work. I am not very good but dayyum i try hard. Unfortunately my classes are Spanish Grammar which i dont understand, so now i am learning Spanish and English grammar. I hate that part but it is getting easier. If nothing else i am persistant and i will learn this language.
 This trip was suppose to be two weeks in Peru and one in Colombia. It did not turn out that way. I stayed the whole time in Peru. This country hopping idea was a mistake. There is not enough time to get to know someone so in retrospect, i think i set myself up failure by trying to do to much at one time. I did have alternate options in case things did not work out regardless of which country i was in. The Peruana i have been writing to for over a year and a half. I had been to Peru twice before this and had not met her. I do well with corresponding albeit letters, email, chat, phone calls. I think you can find out more about a person and they in turn you. I am not a person that requires immediate gratification but this does take patience. This process can be very informative and allows a great amount of time to ask alot of questions. You can learn alot about their intentions, hopes, desires, dreams and it is much easier to detect deceipt and lies. Remember though, it works both ways! Ok, on with some stories.
 Arrived in Lima at about 11:00 pm. This woman lives about 9 hours away and she said that she would meet me at the airport. It usually takes a few hours to get thru customs so i told her this and was totally impressed when i got outside and there she was. You know that you can write to someone for a long time and when you finally meet there may be no chemistry whatsoever. Such was not the case. It was electric to sat the least and the comfort and trust level between us was great. Took off for Miraflores to get a room. Finally at the 3rd hotel we found one. Seems a very large group of tourists came in that night so rooms were hard to come by. This woman is religious but very practical so sharing a room, a bed and snuggling was ok but i was informed NO SEX. I am like most men in that if it would have been offered, i would have had to accept. Now of course this is only in keeping with International Foreign Relations. Have to keep up with foreign trade.Ha Ha Ha. Anyway the TRUST part was very important for me. When someone gives you there trust, i feel that it is a special gift. They lend themselves to much pain and hurt if you betray that. Just my thoughts, but a value that i live by.. Stayed in Lima for 3 days getting to know each other. Talked about things i didnt know i could even talk about. The interesting part for me was that we were always talking. That is good for me. I usually dont talk much. She speaks pretty good English and taught herself from watching movies etc. Never went to school for it so impressive to say the least. Remember, she learned from movies and as we all know, everything in them is true? Ya right! This brought up some hilarious conversations.
 Ok, i guess i passed the intial test and it is now time to meet the family. We go to San Isidro to the bus district and get tickets. While sitting in the bus depot i had a really weird thing happen. Now Spanish music is playing, people talking, bus departure announcements when all of a sudden it all turned into white noise. I could not pick out one distinct thing to listen to! Strange observation i thought. It was weird. She lives in a city called Huanuco. I kind of know where it is on the map but thats all. I like this part of the trips i take. Going into the unknown! I do consider these trips to be vacations and adventures. If i meet the right woman then it is a plus.Why put yourself under pressure to succeed. All you do is set yourself up for failure and disapointment. There is no time limit to meet someone and it doesnt say anywhere in my Passport that i am required to bring one home. Relax, enjoy and learn about the country and culture. It will pay great dividends when you do meet the right one. WOW, This bus is really nice and we have a hostess. American music playing, HEY WAIT! Where am i? We drive through some very poor sections of Lima. I have been here before and the conditions are apalling. After seeing this as usual i am more than grateful for where i live and lifestyle that i have. As i reflect on this, i think that even the homeless where i live have a much better life than most of these people. I have seen in my travels that poverty is all around us. Some people are just blind to it and it is not always measured in material things. Food for thought! Ok the hostess hands out plastic bags and a cotton ball soaked in alcohol. What the f@rk is this for? Valeska tells me it is in case you get sick. From What? Either the bus ride or from the altitude! If you have ever ridden a bus through the Andes you will know what i am talking about here. OK, works for me. After 5 hours we stop at a restaurant on the east side of the Andes. I get some coca tea for the altitude sickness. I live at 3,500 ft but at somewhere around 14,000 ft it did affect me. It was short lived but nevertheless the sensations were discomforting. In the bus we are watching the "Dukes of Hazzard". Something happened when Valeska said something. I thought, no she didnt say that so i ignored it. A short time later i heard her again "F@CK". My intial thought is "she doesnt know it is a bad word". After asking her about it, she says she knows it is a bad word but "they say it in the movies". I thought it was funny as hell. This scenery is absolutely breathtaking! We get to Huanuco, get our luggage and start walking to find a hotel for me. I have two big suitcases on rollers that i am dragging around. It felt very unsafe and i must tell you that i have been to places where you could not do this and still retain ownership of your goods. Everything went well though. It is a safe place.
 Next morning she picks me up and we go to the mercado. This was my favorite place! This is real life going on here. All the breads,fruits,vegys,meats and other goods. The flies on the food and the unclean conditions. OSHA would have a field day here. What a great place though! We run into Mom and Dad while we are out walking around. Lunch is set up with Mom. I didnt know this of course. We meet later and catch a small bus out to the pampas just out of town. Valeska tells me that Mom wants to speak with me. I understand Spanish better than i can speak it. Sometimes this is good, sometimes not. I get the 50 questions from Mom and get a big smile when it is over. This went well, I thought! I know that i need permission from Mom to marry her daughter so i thought this was the time to ask. sidenote here: All i wanted was permission to ask Valeska. I think that what happened was Mom understood this to be me asking for her hand in marriage AT THAT TIME. Her Mother doesnt speak hardly any English. All i heard after this was "matrimonio". Mother was ecstatic to say the least. I asked if i needed to ask Father and was told that Mom is boss so it was not needed. Her Mother kept saying "tiene celeste ojos". It seems that Mother wants a grand child with blue eyes! Both Mother and Valeska then both said "No F@cky F@cky until after". I must say that i laughed so hard i almost cried. I couldnt believe that they both said that. It was absolutely hysterical. I asked her about this and of course was told "The Movies". We returned to her house and met the rest of the family. Played guitar with Dad so i am in them with him. I felt very comfortable there and they welcomed me with open arms. Great family.
 Huanuco is hot and sunny so today we went to the piscina. I was sitting on a bench in the shade when a frisbie thing hit me in the foot. It immediately hurt and drew blood from under the toenail. Several of the local kids, id say 8 to 12 years old, gathered around me and wanted to ask the gringo questions. Seems i was a novelty to them, Imagine that? I dont think any of them had ever had the opportunity to see and or talk to one before. I kept hearing "mira, el sangre es rojo". They could not believe that i had red blood. Now how funny is that? This was an intersting cultural exchange. I think that is what they call it LOL. What a great people these Peruvians are.
 Went to a city in the jungle called Tingo Maria. That day was voting day in Peru so we went to the local University for her to vote. I have never seen anything like this before. Armed guards with machine guns all over the place. I was surprised that they let me in. Guys, we do have it good in this country and thats for sure and certain. Met a bunch of her friends and saw where Mother teaches school. The next day, 5 people were killed by the Sendero Luminoso, "The Shining Path". They are still very active in this district. DDAAYYYUUUMMM!! That was close!! They eat Americans there dont they?? Ha Ha Ha. It was somewhat disconcerting but still, what an adventure...
 Spent the last day in Huanuco with her Mother. I proposed to Valeska this day and Mom took photos of it. How funny is that? Her Mom is really cool. I have found the perfect one for me. I am very happy with her and quite in love with this woman. She has all of the qualities, values, morals and beliefs that i have been looking for. She works for a church co-operative and travels around Peru working with poor children. We went to the church and cemetery every day so that she could light candles for the dead. I am Catholic also but not a fanatic about it. I suppose that between Catholic School, Catechism,Church etc, my Mother burned me out on it. I believe but dont feel i need an organized assembly to profess it.
 Went to Cuzco for a few days and met one of her sisters. Great place, lots of history and culture here. I will go back and spend more time here. Back to Lima again. Stayed at a place called the Excalliber. Great place and it was cheap. $35.00 soles a night and included breakfast. Thats like $10.00 US. They even had hot water. No English spoken here but who cares. It was in Miraflores and only about 5 blocks from Kennedy Park. I asked her if she would like an engagement ring. She said that it was not necessary and it is only a material thing. Now come on Guys? How refreshing is that! I insisted so we went shopping for one. This was also a test to see how she would spend money. The one she picked was only $100.00 US. Imagine my relief? I am not cheap but i am practical. Jewelry does absolutely nothing for me. I thought she did real well on this.
 Last day i went to the Dentist to have my upper braces removed. This was one of the other reasons i went to Peru. Dental work is inexpensive there and very good. I know a very good Dentista there if anyone is interested. Flew out of Lima that night! Next afternoon as i arrived home, it was snowing!!! How rude is that! I do wish i was still there.
 This was really long. This is only a few of the things that happened to me while i was there. I hope that it was enjoyed and maybe someone can learn something from it. I had a great time, as i usually do on my trips, and now i am looking forward to my new life with my Peruna Princesa.....

Te Amo Peru
REX

[tnolan1]

... in response to Stories of Peru, posted by RexB on Dec 3, 2005

Hi Rex,
Does Valeska have a brother named Fisher?  With a gym behind their house?  If so then email me please at tnolan1 at hotmail.com
And one more time guys.  Hoda and Peter never replied... Can I get my site listed?  It's been in the queue for over 2 years now.
Terry
mylatinrose.com

[RexB]

... in response to Stories of Peru, posted by RexB on Dec 3, 2005

Thanks for all of the posts from my story. I expected some to be good and some to be bad. I would be kidding myself if i thought i walked on water like some of the people that post here. This is an open forum and when someone posts they are considered fair game. It is unfortunate that this is done in such a condescending manner at times. I do believe that there are many men that would like to post but are afraid of the negativity that there posts would bring. This is also unfortunate as they probably have some some good information to share. Most people do well with constructive criticism. Many cannot take a personal attack and therefore say nothing at all. I feel that i was attacked by someone that has no idea about me and or my fiancee. Most people learn about other people by first hand association. It is also a known fact that people seem to gravitate toward their own kind. By this i mean people that are on the same level as they are wether it be intelectual, physical, spiritual etc. What happens then is the "S" word! Yes i said it, stereotyping!! As in most cultures there is probably some truth to stereotyping but it is not always true. For someone to assume that it is shows me nothing but ignorance. Your "low life,bad girls" may be just that, but to assume that mine is does me and her an injustice. I appreciate information, especially when it is presented in a manner that offers help. Of course i also read the , you did bad posts, and try to disseminate some shred of information out of these as to what the heck are they trying to say. Information to me is just that, information. You take the good with the bad and use what you can. I think that i have approached this concept of international marriage in the correct manner. I have not said when i was going to marry, only that i was engaged. I am not an ignorant person, as i think one of the posters believes, but actually weigh options and future scenarios quite often. Communication to me is one of the most important qualities to have between two people. Without it there is nothing. It is interesting that people who want to share their views with you almost never want you to share yours with them. Alright, enough of this jag.
 Some responses.
JimmyStLouis: I did not make it to MP. Next time i will go but via a different route than most tourists. There is a place in the Sacred Valley called Perol Chico. They offer horseback trips through the valley off the beaten track that most of the tourists take. They have a web site that tells about it. Sounds like alot of fun to me. check it out.
www.Perolchico.com
Onephd: the store that i went to for the ring was on Av. Diez Canseco. If you go to the North end of Kennedy Park it is on the east side. I do not remember what the name of it was.
Zorro: Thanks and congrats on your marriage.
Nocomment: Yes we have spoke of Montana to a great degree. She likes the bosque and also the lack of people. I took many books on MT with me for her to see. I know that there will be some difficulty as it is very different from Peru. This is a subject that i have given great thought too. She likes to ride horses, which i have two of, so there will be no lack of things for her to do. Her own city is fairly small and the places that she goes for work are VERY small. I have met alot of Spanish speaking people here in the last couple of years. Married couples mostly US men and foreign wifes. Colombia, Ecuador, Mexico, Bolivia, Spain, Brazil and Peru. I am preparing the way for a future wife. I am in hopes that they will help with whatever culture shock she will go through. I think that this is a realistic expectation.
Montrealer: Thanks and good luck to you also. Man you sure do know how to stir up the hornets nest. I wish you the best of luck and as many of the other guys have said, Be careful and take your time....
Utopiacowboy: You would not believe what Missoula looks like now. We are ever growing. Too fast i think but that is the way it happens. If you remember Reserve Street, it is now a 4 lane road with stores from I90 all the way to Brooks. Hamilton has been dubbed "Little California". The traffic is horrible but the place still has the most beautiful blue skys that i have ever seen. I know what you mean about making a living here. I have been here for almost 14 years. I traded the big dollar job for the peace and serenity of MT. I love the outdoors and i am sure that i have added years to my life because of the lack of stress here. I am an avid Archery hunter and have taken 13 Elk so far con arco y fletcha. So many things to do here. Right now we are in a cold spell and last night it was -20 degrees at my house. OUCH!! I hate that part. It is really cold right now. Luckily it only lasts for a few days. The winters are long though. This will be of great concern to me because i dont think that she knows what kind of cold this is. Of course 100+ degress in the summer is nothing to laugh about either. You know how the weather is here...
Ray: Thanks. You have a way of putting facts into a perspective that is generally easier to understand.
To everyone else, Thanks and i will continue on.
Te Amo Peru,
REX

[Montrealer]

... in response to Re: Stories of Peru, posted by RexB on Dec 7, 2005

What do you mean I like to stir up the hornets nest.  I just state my opinions, which are correct, and other people state their opinions, which are wrong.  I don't think that's stirring up the hornets nest.

In case you didn't notice, I am being extremely sarcastic.

Again, congrats on your find and keep us posted on the progress.  Small suggestion, only bring her to Montana when it warms up a bit.

[utopiacowboy]

... in response to Stories of Peru, posted by RexB on Dec 3, 2005

It wasn't until I read one of the other posts I noticed  the fact that you come from Missoula. I lived in Missoula for a while (Eddy Avenue) in the late 80s when I attended  the U. I love Montana! If there was some way I could make a decent living there I'd go back in a heart beat.

[CelticUrge]

... in response to Stories of Peru, posted by RexB on Dec 3, 2005

I have been travelling for business quite a lot recently and have had little time to follow the posts here.

I like the long post with lots of detail informing us of your experiences. Thanks for taking the time to write it down for us to "devour".

Congratulations on the engagement. I wish the best for you both.

There are many good comments offered here. It is obvious that opinions vary considerably. Ultimately, it is your life and your decision. I would have done it differently. Probably, way different. But then, we are not the same. For example, I can't imagine taking a trip out of the country without a hotel reservation. I think nothing of it driving around the U.S.

I like the comment below about making certain the engagement is a long one and that you get to know each other well prior to marriage. I hope that there is an update soon.

[Cali James]

... in response to Stories of Peru, posted by RexB on Dec 3, 2005

[This message has been edited by Cali James]


"No F@cky F@cky until after".

You're moving way too fast. You may not be getting f@cky f@cky now but this is a sure way to get screwed later.....be careful and slow down.

[Montrealer]

... in response to Stories of Peru, posted by RexB on Dec 3, 2005

Rex,
Only you know what is right for you.  I don't think there is anything wrong with getting engaged so quickly.  If you had gotten married that quick, I would have some reservations.  But being engaged is sort of like marking your territory for now.  I would reccomend having a long engagement and to travel back at least 2 more times before you begin the paperwork to bring her to your home and make her your wife.  The only reason being is that love and your emotions can fade quickly as with hers.  The last thing you want is to rush into a lifetime commitment within a week.  Think of it like buying a home, you may love it the first time you see it, but there may be better ones out there or it may be a short lived love.  You wouldn't want to be stuck with a home you didn't want or wasn't comfortable with, would you?

I'm having a simular experience with a woman from Colombia (you may have read my trip report below), and I wanted to get engaged almost right away because it felt like she was the one.  I decided to hold off, and now making my second trip to see her and will be there for 5 weeks.  If it feels right I will probably propose the first week, and have already reserved time with her parents to ask permission.  But if it doesn't feel good, then I will hold off or even say no to the idea completely.  This probably won't happen.  As for the marriage though, I am in no immediate rush and luckily I have alot of free time where I can go and visit as often as I please.  I plan to use that time wisely.  As for my marriage, if everything is perfect, it will be in April or May.

The point being is don't let people tell you that you are making a mistake.  Some people have rushed into things too quickly and been dissappointed with the results.  But the truth is that many of these people fail for the same reason they fail with North American women.... for the simple reason they don't know how to handle a relationship.  If you stay calm and think rationally, then you will be happy.  If you treat her with as much love as you want to be treated then she will be happy and return the feelings for eternity.

Stay positive and congratulations once again on your great find.

[Zorrowins]

... in response to Stories of Peru, posted by RexB on Dec 3, 2005

Congratulations on your engagement! I also married a Peruvian after monthes of emailing and frequent phone calls. It was the smartest thing I ever did(at least so far!)! The Peruvian women in general I believe are very loving, kind, faithful and extremely practical! If you are a good faithful husband who doesn't cheat,I predict you will have a very happy marriage!

A good place to stay in Miraflores is Hostal El Patio. http://www.hostalelpatio.net/espanol/index.html

Also a help to you when emailing is Alta Vista Babel Fish for translating from english to spanish and visa versa. However you must proof read the translations and make corrections. For instance the word glass in english can mean vaso or vidrio in spanish.

As a side note I'm rather put off with all these experts who seem to have the correct formula for finding a lasting lifetime mate! Many are quick to critize and find flaws in everyone who posts here! As a result I very rarely post anymore.

At any rate my very best to you and your future wife! Live long and prosper!

Zorro

[Joeylikey]

... in response to Congratulations!, posted by Zorrowins on Dec 5, 2005

I agree

[Looking4Wife]

... in response to Congratulations!, posted by Zorrowins on Dec 5, 2005

Zorro, are you currently married to the lady from Peru because your profile still says you are "searching"?

[Zorrowins]

... in response to Re: Congratulations!, posted by Looking4Wife on Dec 5, 2005

Thanks for your interest!

[nocomment]

... in response to Stories of Peru, posted by RexB on Dec 3, 2005

How does this woman feel about moving from Peru to Montana? I certainly have nothing against the state, I'm only curious about how a Peruviana sees a move to a big, sparsely populated part of the USA without a large Spanish speaking community. Correct me  if I'm wrong, maybe the Mexicans have found their way there.

[Spanky]

... in response to Stories of Peru, posted by RexB on Dec 3, 2005

[This message has been edited by Spanky]

"I do well with corresponding albeit letters, email, chat, phone calls. I think you can find out more about a person and they in turn you...You can learn a lot about their intentions, hopes, desires, dreams and it is much easier to detect deceit and lies"

On the contrary, the internet should be THE LAST form of correspondence you want to solely depend on when forming a relationship. With a little imagination, and trickery the Latina (or anyone for that matter) can build herself as god's gift to the gringo. The telephone is not much better. This assessment becomes even more jaded my friend, considering you don't even speak the same language. The point is that none of this compares to what you get from personal contact. You are now engaged after only one "fling". Yes, you have confirmed some important points-she's religious, strong family ties, patience, simplistic tastes-but these describe HALF the women in SA. You have not learned very much at all about the WOMAN herself, and believe me pal, this should be el coso numero uno. And don't fail to realize that you may not be all that SHE wants. You may get lucky, however, you should more likely consider yourself on the first step of the path of regret.

[Bueller]

... in response to Stories of Peru: get engaged on one  $1..., posted by Spanky on Dec 4, 2005

"I do well with corresponding albeit letters, email, chat, phone calls. I think you can find out more about a person and they in turn you...You can learn a lot about their intentions, hopes, desires, dreams and it is much easier to detect deceit and lies"

 Dating in general is structured to disguise information, not disclose it. How much more online dating.