Christmas time questions

[Montrealer]

Ok, did my christmas shopping today and picked up all the gifts for everyone.

Her father - fishing rod
Her mother - purse
Her brothers and sister - each a bottle of cologne/perfume
Misc family members that may show up at holidays - Canadian chocolate

Now here's the problem.  I am having a hard tiome doing the shopping for her.  Here is what I have got so far.

- Stuffed polar bear (my nick name)
- Snow Globe (she had when she was a child and it broke and she could never find another one for the past 15 years)
-Perfume & lotion combo

Here's my problem.  I have also bought an engagement ring, and if everything feels the same as the first time I spent with her, I am planning on proposing.  Now the engagement ring is not part of the christmas gifts, so I am missing the jewellry or jewellery alternative for her christmas gifts.  

I could use some suggestions for a jewellery alternative, since its not safe for people to wear jewellery in Colombia.  I have come up with a few suggestions below, but am looking for better suggestions.  Keep in mind a small budget of about $250 - $400.

I was thinking:
IPOD
Portable DVD player
digital camera
A coin collection starter book (she's into coin collecting)

What do you all think?  Any different ideas?

[Montrealer]

... in response to Christmas time questions, posted by Montrealer on Dec 4, 2005

So I made the decision.  I am giving her a digital picture frame that stores up to 10 pictures.  I will load it with pictures of us as well as pictures that I took of her family, this way she has a nice variety of pictures and not just of me.

Thanks for the suggestions, for those of you that made suggestions.

[Georgina]

... in response to Christmas time questions, posted by Montrealer on Dec 4, 2005

I know you are walking on clouds now, but I suggest just taking the little and simple items like perfume, stuffed animals and chocolate instead of the electronics. I assure you if she really feels something for you, these would be more than enough. Hold onto the ring, you wouldn't become engaged to anybody here on the second date. She could be a wonderful lady but you won't know that when you are on vacation just visiting for a few days.

Big detail: If you give her the Ipod or the digital camera, she would also need a decent computer.

Coin collection book is a great idea. It's summer there also, maybe a shirt or blouse.

Give her the simple presents and see her reactions. Take your time. Let her to take her time.

Anyway it doesn't matter what you take to them, they will still see you as the gringo Santa Claus.

You are right:
De= from you.
Para= for her

[Red Clay]

... in response to Papa Noel, posted by Georgina on Dec 5, 2005

Georgina,

Tu paisana wants to see recent photos of your baby if possible. Hope you are all doing well and hope you have a Merry Christmas.

Dave and Carmen

[Georgina]

... in response to Re: Papa Noel---Carmen wants photos plea..., posted by Red Clay on Dec 5, 2005

Hi,

Hope you two are doing great. I'll email you a couple of pictures soon. He is not a baby anymore. He is almost 4 years now. He speaks Spanish fairly and is learning to swim.

[Cali James]

... in response to Christmas time questions, posted by Montrealer on Dec 4, 2005

[This message has been edited by Cali James]

I think that while your intentions are good, you're making a HUGE mistake arriving at XMAS as if you're Santa Clause, a giant bag of gifts in hand.  Forget about IPODs, digital camera's and all the other extravagent gifts you're thinking of arriving with. Not to be rude but this is truly stupid and foolheardy IMO. Think about giving her (not EVERY member of the family) a small gift but one from the heart. Also forget the ring, don't take it, use this time over XMAS to get to know her and nothing more. I don't know you and MAYBE you can spot a keeper after only spending a week with her but if you can, you'd certainly be in a small minority & what you've told us so far doesn't give me encouragement.  Wisen up, take back your credit card(s), don't play the rich Canadian with all the gifts for the family and just spend time with her.  Don't comeback engaged, use the five weeks to really get to know her.  If you decide to propose after the first week as you're thinking, the remaing four will be a waste IMO.  You have five weeks to get to know her better, take the pressure off yourself by committing yourself not to committing yourself.  You need time to really see a person as they truly are (and she needs time to see you), use the time you have, don't throw it away.....

[Montrealer]

... in response to Christmas time questions, posted by Cali James on Dec 5, 2005

I respect what you said, but to each his own.  I feel I am doing what I would do in any given relationship.  I am not acting like the rich Canadian, but I really enjoy giving gifts at Christmas time.  I have always done this and always will.  I'm not doing this to impress her or to try and buy her, like many of you are thinking or have done before.  It is just who I am.

As for me getting engaged, I am going to do it when it feels right.  If its the first week, the last day or never, it will only happen if it feels right.  I don't think getting engaged in the beginning of my trip is a waste.  If anything its benefiacial to both of us by seeing and acting like husband/wife for a period of time and not having the 'just started dating feel'.

But thanks again for your opinions, but if you have any opinions on what I should give her as the main gift in lieu of jewelery, this is the opinion I am seeking and would appreciate.

Thanks.

[Bueller]

... in response to Re: Christmas time questions, posted by Montrealer on Dec 5, 2005

What a situation this is, where such obvious wisdom as CJ's must even be enunciated and of course duly ignored. I'm reminded of Thomas Edison's retort when he was asked what advice he would give young people: "Young people don't listen to advice." I held back from commenting on this until my third ale, but I have to question the wisdom of someone who would post in a public forum, and include pictures of most of the involved parties, about his attempts to bed another woman in between the first and second dates with the woman who minutes later (it seems) became his fiancée. Now he really enjoys giving gifts at Christmas time, but overlooks that he will be spending it in a completely different culture this time with people he barely knows.

[surfscum]

... in response to Sigh..., posted by Bueller on Dec 5, 2005

I always enjoy your posts, Bueller.  I too, question a lot of things in his approach to this, but posts like this keep the board entertaining.

[jim c]

... in response to Sigh..., posted by Bueller on Dec 5, 2005

Dear Ferris you have more patience than I.

The Hooker

[Cali James]

... in response to Re: Christmas time questions, posted by Montrealer on Dec 5, 2005

[This message has been edited by Cali James]

"If anything its beneficial to both of us by seeing and acting like husband/wife for a period of time and not having the 'just started dating feel'."

You've spent a week with this young lady right?  The reason you have the 'just started dating feel' is because in reality you just started dating!!!!  You can leap to the "we're getting married, live happily after feeling" but you take a big risk doing so.  Six months into your marriage, you may long for the 'dating feel'.   IMO you're not thinking clearly.  Consider stepping back and asking someone you trust and who is competent in mind, if your behavior seems normal to them.  

My experience is that a relationship changes after you're engaged, the focus changes from getting to know each other to preparing for your new life and all that encompasses including the wedding.  An engagement period is not the time to be testing the relationship, as it's much harder to step back from a relationship than it is to step forward.  

"I feel I am doing what I would do in any given relationship."

I truly think you're deluding yourself.  Would you buy an engagement  ring for a Canadian woman after spending a week with her on a vacation?  Would you then buy the Canadian woman's family gifts that exceed in value a whole months income for that family.  Would you give the Canadian woman your credit card also?

[Pete E]

... in response to Christmas time questions, posted by Cali James on Dec 5, 2005

It seems magic I know,but make sure she loves you for YOU not what you represent in money and opportunities.Or you just might spend 1000 nights staring at the ceiling married to as woman that does not love you,you just made her too good of an opportunity to resist.Take it from somebody who has been there.They love you or they do not.Gratitude is the least durable of human emotions.If she does NOT love you but marries you she will grow to RESENT You for her selling herself out.Take it from somebody who HAS BEEN THERE.Take a YEAR to know her.You know JUST ABOUT  NOTHING so far.Back off on the money,that just OBSCURES if she cares at all about you.
The only other hope is to just get lucky.Don't count on it,you might just get the BIGGEST DISAPOINTMENT OF YOUR LIFE.
AND,loving her is not enough.I loved my wife.That just made it HARDER when she did not love me in return.CAN YOU IMMAGINE FOR A MINIUTE?
My novia now I dated for a YEAR before we moved in.I am totally sure of her.Don't play Russian roulette with your future.They are all sweet and pretty and affectionate.

Pete

[soltero]

... in response to Take your time,you are at step one of a ..., posted by Pete E on Dec 5, 2005

I am not wishing anything bad on the guy, but he is happy and hopeful and will need to see for himself. If it does mess up, then I hope he doesn't stop posting, or blame her for tricking him as so often happens. Some things people have to learn for themselves, and although I hope this isn't one of those times, the likelihood (sorry, utopiacowboy) for bliss to happen this fast is just not there. Let him see for himself as that is the only way to truly learn.

[Montrealer]

... in response to Take your time,you are at step one of a ..., posted by Pete E on Dec 5, 2005

.... told me so.  Until then, I'm going to be ffollowing what my heart is telling me to do.

Different strokes for different folks.  I'm not saying that you guys are wrong.  I agree with many of the points and its great advice for alot of people.  But I believe that what I am doing is right and the feelings I have are equally returned from her.

End of subject.

[jim c]

... in response to One day you can all say...., posted by Montrealer on Dec 5, 2005

83 posts in two months only to tell us that you are different,know what you are doing, and that if you are wrong we can tell you "I Told You So!" You are the manifestation of the horse when lead to water.  Why are you here, when all you do is defend an undefendable position.  What happened in your last marriage? Did her glass slipper fall off.

    You are determined to prove everyone wrong in a polite condecending fashion. Two of the most experienced board members who have been around here for over five years have only cautioned you and you choose to move blindly ahead. Whats the matter sonny don't you trust anyone over thirty.

    I for one am bored with your soap opera.  Like most who can't take good advice you live on constant drama and an inability to keep your mouth shut. I for one am not interested on which date you jumped her bones I think you got off more on telling the story than the act itself. So maybe you should try Zelda where you can play with others lives with out the trauma resulting from your mistakes.

Oh and I really am impressed that you are giving advice rather than taking it. Of course we are all failures in our previous relationships and have only carried that baggage into our new lives. Thats why you will be more sucessful than the rest of us. You really are a prince and this Fairy Tale will be more sucessfull than your last.   You really don't know that you don't know!!!

Don't bite the hook!!!  

The Grump from Cartagena