Will you stay here or go home ...

[Hoda]

with our son, if something happens to me?

My wife REALLY, I mean REALLY hates talking about this subject & ANYTHING dealing with "Survivor Benefits." From some recent & not so recent post, it seems that the "mind-set" of many Colombians is more  "day to day" than long term, which is normal for most men from N.A. She's gotten better over the months, especially after seeing the trauma that a close friend of ours is going through trying to keep it all together...

My wife said, that it would be very hard for her emotionally to handle things without the close support of her family, despite the number of friends & professional contacts she has cultivated here over the years. She promised to get her citizenship first before leaving....if she decided to leave. She would  make sure that our son would have contact with friends & family here, along with access to study & live in the US, if he so chooses when he's of legal age...

I brought this up because, most of us who are married/engaged to women from outside the US, have an age difference of 7 to 20 years (unscientific survey of posters) & will more than likely (with the exception of something unnatural) will leave this earth before our ladies...

[Red Clay]

... in response to Will you stay here or go home ..., posted by Hoda on Nov 30, 2005

My wife also despises the topic. Hopefully life insurance would be sufficient to allow her to choose where she wanted to live. It would surely be enough to allow her to invest it here and live very well back in Peru off the interest if she wanted. I'm pretty sure she would return to live in Peru in that situation since we don't have kids or alot of family on my side left.

[soltero]

... in response to Will you stay here or go home ..., posted by Hoda on Nov 30, 2005

[This message has been edited by soltero]

How do you feel about him being raised in Colombia until he is of age just in case something does happen and she takes him there? Do you think if he comes back for school when he is of legal age that he would be at a disadvantage education wise? I would love to live in Colombia, but I know that I don't want to raise any kids there more than I would prefer to do it here. For children, the opportunities here can not be beat.

[Red Clay]

... in response to Re: Will you stay here or go home ..., posted by soltero on Nov 30, 2005

[This message has been edited by Red Clay]

My wife and I have discussed this at length, of course in our case it's Peru.

At first, she thought that the educational opportunities for any age child would be better in the US.......

....until she had lived here for awhile and saw the  relatively under-emphasized academics, lack of discipline, politically-correct BS, and other problems that plague many public schools here. Any private school in Lima, and most public ones, have the kids in uniform and give the teachers the authority to punish when necessary, without fear of reprimand. Prayer and Christian teaching is part of the curriculum. Many kids are learning English in elementary school. We are now both convinced that our niece and nephew in Peru are much better off being schooled there, at least until college.  At that point, the US may offer some better opportunites, or at least more to choose from and more ways to finance it.

Don't think that because they are poor their education is lacking.

[Cali James]

... in response to Re: Re: Will you stay here or go home ....., posted by Red Clay on Nov 30, 2005

I couldn't agree more, this is my opinion regarding Cali too.  The public school system is good and as you suggest they don't have to put up with all the political correctness BS.  They can also get rid of disruptive children a lot easier than in the States.  Private schools in Colombia are free to run their own school however they are licenced by the same education government body that public schools are.  The licensing and curriculum standards are the same I believe.  That is not to say that private schools don't in many cases have better facilities, they often do.

[EbonyPrince]

... in response to Will you stay here or go home ..., posted by Cali James on Nov 30, 2005

I would disagree about public schools.  I think too many people use that as an excuse.  As North Americans (being polictically correct), we like to make excuses for everything. I could afford and choose to send my children to private schools, but I choose to send them to public schools because I don't want them sheltered.

I went to public schools and received a great education and later went on to finish my 2 and 4 year degrees.  I think it boils down to parenting.  A lot of people want their schools to raise their children instead of having direct involvment in their children's lives.  That is the real problem.

Now I admit that some larger cities have horrible school systems.  I am lucky to have my kids in a suburban school system of working class people, but even our largest school district in the county has a good school system.  My daughter's school isnt great, but it is a good school.  My daughter has a friend that went to a Catholic school, and she was so sheltered by her parents.  Well her parents had some type of problem with some of the officials or something, so they sent their daughter to the public school.  Now keep in mind that their oldest daughter was still in the Catholic school.  When their youngest daughter came to my daughter's school, she was way behind what they were learning.  She struggled the first year just trying to catch up, and she was an all A student at the Catholic school.  Her parents were shocked that she was getting Cs and Ds at the new school while spending the whole school year helping her to do her homework every night.  They would even call us to see how we got certain answers to problems, and were shocked that my daughter was in bed and had the work already done.

In the micro-metro city I live in (a big football area), our public school facilities rivals any Catholic school in the state of Ohio.  Keep in mind that we have dozens of public high schools in our county of about 300,000 people.

So I think it boils down to the parents, but I admit that some larger cities (million or so people) have public school problems.  Except for your really run down inner-cities, I think that you can get a quality education anywhere.  Values are built at home with the parents.

[JaySlo]

... in response to Re: Will you stay here or go home ..., posted by EbonyPrince on Dec 1, 2005

I think you are sorely misled. The Catholic education system is far beyond what is offered in public schools. If the girl struggled I'm sure it was not because of the public school being too advanced.

[Hoda]

... in response to Re: Will you stay here or go home ..., posted by soltero on Nov 30, 2005


In regards to the scenario of him being educated in Colombia during his early years...My wife & I have agreed.

NO PUBLIC SCHOOL FOR OUR SON!!!!!

Stivalis talked about her concern of the lack of opportunities in Colombia, when compared to the U.S. This question was the one which almost made her come to tears. Balancing her needs &  the best interest of our son....Not easy thing to talk about, but it MUST be talked about & planned for!

[Fuzzyone]

... in response to Great question..., posted by Hoda on Nov 30, 2005

I would agree with you on the publis school in Colombia. I would for sure pay
for private Catholic school. I think the school system shows what happens when
there is not a strong public school system. I hate paying the taxes but if you are
poor you are stuck with what ever they offer for school because they cannot pay
for a private school. I wonder how much would a voucher cover towards a
private school education?

[Cali James]

... in response to Re: Great question..., posted by Fuzzyone on Nov 30, 2005

[This message has been edited by Cali James]

I think the public schools in Cali any way are in general pretty good.  I think that even though they are public, the parents still pay for their childrens books and supplies however.  I visited a few public schools over my years in Cali, one past novia of mine was a teacher and a friend of mine also taught in a pueblo school outside of Cali.  I thought the education was great from what I could see and there were absolutely no discipline problems nor disruptive kids.  My wife has told me that there was no tolerance for disruptive children in her years of public schools and children weren't moved forward in the system until they were ready.  That's not the case here in the States.  

I think like many things, a students education depends a lot on the motivation of the child and his or her parents.  Children from families where education is not important will all else being equal not do as well as those from families that value it. I suppose one could argue that private schools attract children from families that put more emphasis on education and that the resources would be greater.  In general I'd agree.  My wife's family are involved in private education.  Her uncle has a few schools around Cali and a lot of the family are involved in the business.  I visited their elementary school in Pance and it had better resources than the other public schools I visited.  The school is bilingual and they have English speaking professors and the tuition is more than a minimum salary if I remember correctly.  I suppose the parents who send there children there are by definition at least middle class and probably many from affluent families by Colombian standards.  But I'd be willing to bet that some of these rich kids have parents who are extremely ignorant also.  Some of the mafiosos fit this description if you ask me.  So sending your children to private school can also put them in contact with children of parents in the trafficking world.

[EbonyPrince]

... in response to Great question..., posted by Cali James on Nov 30, 2005

Cali James wrote: "I think like many things, a students education depends a lot on the motivation of the child and his or her parents. Children from families where education is not important will all else being equal not do as well as those from families that value it. I suppose one could argue that private schools attract children from families that put more emphasis on education and that the resources would be greater."

Well said...My ex and I always went to the parent conferences and spoke with the teachers personally.  We also were involved in the parent associations and events. I get reports on my kids sent directly to me, and they now have a webiste where we can check in on their homework and progress.  Involvement is the key!!!

[utopiacowboy]

... in response to Great question..., posted by Cali James on Nov 30, 2005

Your last sentence is quite accurate. My wife's kids used to have sleep overs at the home of the family of a man in Monteria until she thought better of it. Let's just call this man Charlie Brown.

[soltero]

... in response to Great question..., posted by Cali James on Nov 30, 2005

How about the level of education itself, in general. I do not want to be judgemental, but how much emphasis is placed on math or science. Also, very importantly, an objective view of world history? History is important as it shows where we come from. Math and science will take us where we need to go. The balance is very important, and if you have any insight into how this plays out in public or private schools in Colombia it would be appreciated.

[Fuzzyone]

... in response to Great question..., posted by Cali James on Nov 30, 2005

My wife taught at a public school in Barranquilla and it was horrible. The
school was in very bad shape, falling apart the only child that went there was the
ones that could not pay for a private school.

[Cali James]

... in response to Re: Great question..., posted by Fuzzyone on Nov 30, 2005

Well maybe it was in a strata 1 or 2 bario I don't know.  Anyway, I think the public schools will not always be in the shape you and I are accustomed to here but that doesn't mean the education is bad.  I visited a school in a small pueblo an hour from Cali.  The school was public and had open windows to the outside, looked kinda dilapitated and if you weren't accostomed to Colombno you might think all sorts of bad things.  But what I also saw were good teachers who were well educated, my friend had his masters and spoke English, students who were eager to learn and well disciplined.  Anyway, I know a lot of Colombians who went to public schools and were well educated if they were motivated to learn.