Going The Distance

[Montrealer]

... in response to Re: Re: Going The Distance, posted by jediknight on Nov 30, 2005

Thanks for asking.  Things seem to be going great.  We have talked every night on the phone (except 2) since I've been back.  You would think that after such a short fling that the feelings might go as quickly as they came, but in fact I think that they have intensified.  We're able to talk on the phone about anything and usually last about 30 minutes or more.  The phone bills aren't going to be as bad as you would expect because I run everything through my business and I pay for blocks of time instead of by the minute.  So, I think a 30 minute call costs me about $2.15 CDN.  Not as cheap as calling cards, but much better than having to time your calls to match the time on the card.

Debit card update (since I took such a thrashing for that earlier).  She has still yet to use the card, but has asked if she can take a little money out to buy my christmas gift, which I said was no problem.  But she has decided not to, and she has found some more small time jobs so she can pick me up a bottle of cologne that I want.  Big improvement from my first wife.  "Honey, can I have a thousand dollars so I can buy you a gift?"  and all I got was a bottle of cologne and she got herself 2 new outfits.

I can't wait to get back there and share more wonderful moments with her and see if these feelings are 100% true between us.  Only 11 more days or so.

[EbonyPrince]

... in response to Re: Re: Re: Going The Distance, posted by Montrealer on Nov 30, 2005

I wouldn't waste my time worrying about what others think.  People have the nasty habit of trying to impress their ideas and beliefs on others.

I say handle your business, and I wish you the best.  Attraction can begin with just a glance, but its up to you and her to keep that attraction going and growing (check out www.marriagebuilders.com).  The constant communication keeps that attraction alive along with the time you spend together. Its when the time between communication gets longer or you're just too busy to think about each other is when the attraction begins to fade.  That is what happens in most failed relationships.

In my opinion, you're doing everything right thus far.

[Montrealer]

... in response to Re: Re: Re: Re: Going The Distance, posted by EbonyPrince on Dec 1, 2005

Febuary is apparently a great month to go down there, but it may be difficult to find a room because of the Carnival.  Make some phone calls now and see what you can find.  I haven't been able to find a room yet for Febuary and am thinking about greasing some palms this trip to get a room anywhere.  Worse comes to worse, I may stay in Santa Marta and see if anybody else wants to split for a car service to Barranquilla daily for time with my novia and the Carnival.  Car service would probably cost about $100 - $150 daily, but split between 2 or 3 people would be affordable.

Keep me posted on your search and how the process is going with finding your future novia.

A tip that worked for me is you aren't feeling much of a connection after 2 emails, its time to stop writing and if she doesn't respond within about 4 days of sending an email (unless circumstances prevent), then she probably just isn't that into you.  This worked for me, but you can make your own decissions.  Again, keep me posted.

My private email is pphelp@bellnet.ca in case you want to ask anything outside the board.

[Montrealer]

... in response to Re: Re: Re: Re: Going The Distance, posted by EbonyPrince on Dec 1, 2005

I have never put much thought into what works or doesn't work for other people.  Every individual has different goals out of life and out of marriage.  I know what I want and I know what paths I am willing to take to get there as well as what paths I'm not willing to take.  If she accepts them and I accept hers, then great.  If not, and there is no room for compromise, then its to splitsville here we go.  The main thing I think is to be 100% honest and true to eachother, then with talking all problems will work themselves out.  And respect for eachother.

By the way, EbonyPrince, when you going down to Barranquilla.  Would be great to have a beer together.

[jediknight]

... in response to Re: Re: Re: Going The Distance, posted by Montrealer on Nov 30, 2005

so far so good on the debit card. have a great trip.
JK

[soltero]

... in response to Going The Distance, posted by Nevergivingup on Nov 30, 2005

Pick well and you should be OK. All SA rules end when you leave SA. The US is not conducive to marriage no matter who you marry. Any couple together for more than five years definitely have something special in this day and age. If you want a better shot at a lifelong marriage, move there.

[WS244]

... in response to Re: Going The Distance, posted by soltero on Nov 30, 2005

If she already has a kid, etc or other self interest incentive, chances are one will survive a marriage, at least until her incentive no longer exists to keep the man around.  Gringos have wishful thinking these women are doing this for him.  Excepting whatever incentive they have, most Colombian women would just as soon stay in Colombia close to their family.  Add to this all the distorted rights in favor of the woman in our the legal system, no wonder there are so many failures.  For all the hype, once here a gringo is at their mercy for the most part no different than with an AW.  

If one lives in Colombia, chances are the marriage will survive in the long term as the man is considered the head of the family.

[Nevergivingup]

... in response to Re: Going The Distance, posted by soltero on Nov 30, 2005

thanks everyone for your input. It has been very informative.