... in response to My Trip Report (long read), posted by Montrealer on Nov 24, 2005[This message has been edited by jediknight]
first of all congratulations on a successful trip. thanks for the report, i enjoyed reading it as it brought back memories of similar experiences that i had with my fiance and her family. as far as your experiences i'll say this...
since you are young, a lot younger than most guys that travel to colombia looking for a wife, 22 years old is perfect for you. if you were say, over 38 then i would be concerned but you'll be just fine. my opinion on age is that there shouldn't be more than a 10-15 yr. difference but of course there are exceptions.
excellent observations on knowing the language and the use of translators. sometimes it's unavoidable to use this service but the experience will be much better if there is one on one communication. guys should learn spanish.
as far as your experience with AF, I think that you rushed into it. i always feel that things happen for a reason and perhaps you needed this experience to see that making a move on the first date is a no-no unless she initiates, and even then i would be cautious. i wouldn't feel comfortable with a woman that was that aggressive on the first date or that would want to have sex so soon, not wife material for me, perhaps for a fling but nothing long term. even if your intentions were just to kiss AF and nothing more, doing it so soon in your room was a mistake. perhaps AF felt that you wanted more than just a kiss and she was afraid.
your experience with LS should make you and anyone else reading this understand why she and AF both shyed away..girls are afraid that gringos are going down there to be charming, get laid and not go back. going back to your room to make a phone call should have been just that and nothing more and trying a second and third time in 2 days shouldn't have even been attempted.
look at the difference between how you handled AF and LS. with AF you tried to make a move on the first date in your hotel room but with LS you first held each other,met her parents, bought her flowers all before even having a first kiss. even then when you made a move a week later in your room she resisted. it was a smart to put the ball in her court by saying that it was up to her to set the pace, not many guys would do this.
i have a few questions for you. first,what happened with AF and how did you tell her that you weren't going to see her anymore? do you think she felt it was because she didn't respond to your advances the way you wanted? I just hope that she didn't walk away thinking that was all you wanted.
second,what would you have done if LS had said no? would you have continued with her even if she did not have sex during your stay there? not many guys are willing to wait.
third, since you are planning on going back in dec/jan, why did you leave your debit card so soon? i mean you aren't even engaged? what was the rush? also, were you in contact with LS before your trip? how long?
one more thing, you mentioned in your post on day 10.."The only thing is thank god for round 2, otherwise I would have been a dissappointment." does this mean that you were a bit premature during round 1 or that you felt she wasn't satisfied the first time around?
it seems like you lucked out on your trip, congratulations to the both of you. i hope that things continue to develope with LS and that you'll keep us informed but try to slow things down a bit. good luck
JK
