On Thursday, two days before the end of my trip, I decided to go out and do some research for y'all. You don't have to thank me, just name one of your gringo/paisa mestizo children after me. I prefer that you use my middle name, Cornelius. I went to Universidad EAFIT to inquire about Spanish programs for foreigners, something similar to the Portuguese program I attended in Brazil. Of the three universities I visited, EAFIT was the only one with a structured program for foreigners, and it's a doozie. After taking a placement exam, you are enrolled in one of nine levels, each consisting of thirty-eight hours of instruction. The thirty-eight hours can be taken in one of three schedules: four hours per day (two weeks total), two hours per day (one month total), or six hours per week (1.5-2 months total).
Each level costs about U$225 at current exchange rates, and once enrolled you have full access to ALL university sports facilities, the multimedia lab, and ANY other university courses, if you feel your Spanish is up to it. You also get 2-3 conversation sessions per week with students of English, and last but not least if you want to be able to stay in-country for an extended time, the university will give you a document that qualifies you for a student visa. Remember, that's C-O-R-N-E-L-I-U-S.
Let me now get to the subject of the Gringo Trail I mentioned before. Mike had suggested that we go to the party scheduled at Colombian Sweethearts on Friday night, my last night in town, and I agreed to go. He invited me to go to lunch with some gringos and their girlfriends that afternoon, and most of us met up at the Colombian Sweethearts office and carpooled from there. A gringo-paisa couple with probably a 30-plus year age difference between them joined us on the way. "Jeff", who lives in Medellín, spoke very little Spanish, and "Carla" spoke almost no English. While we waiting for our table we stood around chatting, and Jeff teased Carla about her name (I can't repeat the joke without giving away her name, but it's an old one, hardly funny even to those of us who 'get it' in the first place). She didn't look amused. After we chatted in English for a while, he asked her, "¿Sí o no?", giving her a little dig because she couldn't understand us. She did not look amused. He commented that he could never get a girlfriend this hot in the States.
Since we were obviously talking about her, I wanted to include her by telling her, "Está muy contento contigo." But that was a lie. There is a world of difference between, "You're very special to me, and I'm so glad you're in my life," and "Gee, too bad I couldn't get laid like this in high school!" (Yes, I'm taking a little liberty with what he said.) After lunch, during the cab ride back home, he turned to her after in the middle of our conversation and again asked, "¿Sí o no?".
She got a rather peeved look on her face and told me in Spanish that she found this rather annoying and belittling, because he knows she can't understand him and doesn't like being teased about it. I told him this in English, and his response was something like, "Yeah, we've been together for about a year now, and I know all the things that push her buttons. If it ever gets bad enough for her, she can just drop me off at the next corner and I'll go find another one." He then made a show of noticing a pretty girl that we passed, and later announced, "Hey, there's my next girlfriend," pointing to a model on a billboard.
The more I thought about this situation later, the more deplorable I found it, in several respects. First, that he would treat her with such levity and disregard; second, that she would put up with it; third, the mockery this made of what a loving relationship should be; fourth, the way it makes gringos look in general. After all, in what way is this a step up for her from the way a colombiano would treat her? My sympathy toward her is limited, since she is a willing participant and not a hostage. But consider this: we like to think that latinas prefer us because we are so much more attentive, loyal and just plain civilized than latinos; that it's not about money and immigration. But if we show by our behavior that we are just as bad or even worse than latinos, what basis does that leave for latinas to be interested in us? Bingo-- money and immigration. It doesn't do any of us any good to gain the reputation of being just as bad as latinos (assuming they really are that bad), except that we're older and fatter and can't dance. More on the Gringo Trail later.
Friday evening Mike and I went to the party at Colombian Sweethearts. One of the other guys was a Brazilian who lives in the States, and another was a gringo who has a house in the northeast of Brazil. I didn't really have any expectations about the party going in. We all sat down at tables out on the back patio, and I made a point of switching tables now and then to mingle a little. Actually, some of the girls started teasing me about that by the end of the evening, saying I needed to pick a table and stay there. I ended up spending a fair amount of time at the furthest table back. On my right were two ladies who seemed really nice and down to earth and who convinced me to dance despite my Caucazoidal Rhythm Impairment. Across from me was "Beatriz", who was a very skilled and sensual dancer, but she didn't seem like my type; plus one other girl who didn't seem very attractive or sociable. On my left was a slender, very pretty light-skinned brunette who almost certainly had implants. She was physically gorgeous, but seemed very cold, detached, and aloof. I think I was the only guy she talked to all evening, and that just barely. I'm not even sure why she came; maybe the crop of guys just wasn't up to her standards. She said she had been with the agency for two years and had had only four dates because the men were no-shows. I didn't believe that for a millisecond. I wound up dancing with several women, aided by some rum & Coke, and danced with Beatriz at her request.
Mike decided to leave early, so I chatted with him by the front door for a few minutes first. I gave him a little rundown on the girls at the table, and he said he was surprised to see Beatriz there--that she had been seeing a gringo boyfriend for some time and he was expected the following week for a visit. Who knows, there could have been a perfectly good explanation for that; after all, I didn't come to the party with any expectations myself, and she blew off the only other guy who tried to talk to her. It probably didn't help him that he came in sweats and a tank top.
I went back to the adjacent table and chatted and danced with the two ladies I had been sitting between earlier. "Joana" started getting a little dirty about the dancing, and it was slightly creepy to have the beautiful brunette from the other table come up and start doing the same thing to me from behind. Creepy, not sexy, because she didn't seem to have her heart in it, and was just doing it because...who knows why. Despite having come with no expectations, I found myself warming up to Joana, but that feeling was kind of torpedoed when I found out she had two kids. Well, I hadn't found that out sooner because I wasn't there to "screen" anyone. As the party wound down, I left with Joana to go to a discotheque (you know I had to be buzzed to do that, as I normally wouldn't be caught dead in one). But the cover charge was Cp$25k, and I wasn't *that* buzzed, so we left and sat in a sidewalk bar for a while. Then we took separate taxis home, and I slept for about an hour and a half before packing quickly to go to the airport.
