Marriage is no big deal says Papi

[JaySlo]

[This message has been edited by JaySlo]

No need to carry this any further. In the famous words of Roberto Duran, no mas!

[Montrealer]

... in response to Marriage is no big deal says Papi, posted by JaySlo on Oct 22, 2005

Now I may not know the whole rant and crap about the subject, but the subject line startled me and I wanted to add my 2 cents.

Call me an old romantic, but for me marriage is the second biggest deal you could ever make, only to be lead by having children.  Getteing married may seem easy and "no big deal", but marriage is a vow that a person should take for a lifetime.  And this is coming from a guy that's divorced.  As hypocritical as it may sound.

What ever happened to "till death do us part".  Is this no longer said in weddings anymore.  It wasn't said in my wedding in either Canada or Mexico, but I thought it was just one of those things that were understood.  Sure, not all marriages can or do work out, but that is unfortunate, but to go into a marriage, or even have the pre-text of marriage not being a big deal, then you are dead wrong.

This philospophy is the reason why so many people get divorced these days.  Maybe if we all took marriage a little more seriously, then we could work through our problems better instead of just giving up and move on.  So many broken marriges could have been fixed if the partners were just able to work things out.

As for getting a "mail order bride", I believe that even these marriages could work out till death do you part, as long as each partner is willing to compromise.

Sorry for the long rant, but it just upsets me when somebody can look on the concept of marriage as "no big deal"

[Joeylikey]

... in response to Re: Marriage is no big deal says Papi, posted by Montrealer on Oct 23, 2005

Enjoy life quit thinking so much.

[Cali James]

... in response to Marriage is no big deal says Papi, posted by JaySlo on Oct 22, 2005

[This message has been edited by Cali James]

Talk about quoting someone out of context and adding a different meaning than what was said.  He never said "marriage is no big deal" what he said was "big deal - you got married".  I think there's a difference in meaning.  And he said this in the context of a little war of words between the two of you where I might add you threw the first punch. When you insult someone, whether you think he's had no success with women or not, you can expect them to insult you back and to defend themself. This is normal human behavior.

[Fuzzyone]

... in response to Marriage is no big deal says Papi, posted by Cali James on Oct 22, 2005

[This message has been edited by Fuzzyone]

 I find it interesting you are Papi's white knight, is there something the rest of
the board does not know about going on between you and Papi? I know you
were around when Papi was talking about this girl and her father. It seems to me
it was alot differend then is being remembered know.

 One last thing Jayslo has been on this board for a long time and for any body
to call him a meat head or rookie I think he would have have a right to get his
nose out of joint.  Especially when Jayslo did make a statement that was true, it was not a insult.

[Cali James]

... in response to Re: Marriage is no big deal says Papi, posted by Fuzzyone on Oct 23, 2005

[This message has been edited by Cali James]


Well I've never met Papi in Colombia or the USA. I don't know him except by his posts.  

Anyway, I'm hardly Papi's white night. I think if you read the archives you'll see that I'm as critical of his approach as anyone, if not more.  My point was only this, when someone is insulted, regardless of whether the insult has an element of truth in it or not, you can expect the insulted party to respond. This is human nature and to expect otherwise is to believe that men are angels.  I remember a few months back, I insulted two people on the board and sure enough, one of them gave it back to me and gave it back to me a lot stronger than my original insult.  I suppose I had it coming.  In Papi's case, he hardly gave it back at all, he called the guy a rookie, hardly fighting words.

[JaySlo]

... in response to Marriage is no big deal says Papi, posted by Cali James on Oct 23, 2005

Rookie?  That wasn't what initiated my response, go back and read it again. Anyway, you are the new white knight to the guy who gets relationship advice from gay men. Great company! Anyway my entire response was based on him comparing himself to me, that is where I took exception. I have been at this since 99/00, lived in Dominican Republic, traveled to Venezuela, Brazil, and many Carribean islands. Hell, I have success with AW's.  I just didn't want to be comparing anything with that guy. In my opinion, he is a train wreck waiting to happen. He reminds me of one of my favorite quotes, 'the man that doesn't stand for something will fall for anything.' His position changes like the wind, no self respecting woman will ever go for his type. So to reiterate, I took exception to being compared/or him thinking he was even close. I'll accept any name, how about you White Knight? I wanted to let this die, but I want my position clear. I will not be compared to the old boy, or I should say I don't like being compared to people like him. That's all.

[Cali James]

... in response to Re: Marriage is no big deal says Papi, posted by JaySlo on Oct 23, 2005

[This message has been edited by Cali James]

Listen I'm not anyone's white night but if it makes you feel better calling me this feel free.  I read all the exchanges, you insulted him a few days ago and he ignored you the first time, he didn't even respond.  You came back again and insulted him with your "zero" comment.  Not a big insult but certainly a dig and one that Papi was certainly within his rights to respond to.  What's the natural response to someone stating you have "zero" success with women, well the response is something like what Papi wrote, it was predictable, he throws back a one liner and compares his success favorably to yours and calls you a rookie. I mean really JaySlo, what do you expect him to do, write "thank you Mr. JaySlo for your keen observation".  

It looks to me like you insulted him, he retaliated in kind, you didn't like it, you insulted him back...and so on. You even went so far as to call him the "freak of the week" at one point.  Note that it was you who started the insults with Papi and that it was you who took the little exchange to a new board and created a whole new thread here on PL in an attempt to take your beef with him to the top of the page.  If you don't throw the first punch, Papi doesn't compare his success with yours or call you a rookie.....and you and Papi never exchange insults.  It doesn't change what you think of Papi but at least there's no war of words.  

I really don't think his insults were any worse than yours and since you threw the first punch, it seems to me anyway that this is a simple case of cause and effect.  If you don't see the causal nature of your exchange with Papi then let's just agree to disagree.

[gcman]

... in response to Marriage is no big deal says Papi, posted by Cali James on Oct 23, 2005

thought you were a thoughtful kind man  why would you defend Papi who is more interested in getting laid then finding a wife and is an true ugly american???

[Cali James]

... in response to Re: Marriage is no big deal says Papi, posted by gcman on Oct 23, 2005

[This message has been edited by Cali James]


I give up.....

[papi]

... in response to Marriage is no big deal says Papi, posted by Cali James on Oct 23, 2005

dont give up on me CJ! LOL this guy does not know me..he is the ugly American. Probably a flaming jerk

[JaySlo]

... in response to Marriage is no big deal says Papi, posted by Cali James on Oct 22, 2005

Here you are again, who made you sloppi's guardian? I have no beef with you and you should stick to your own threads. Again, this is man vs old boy. Haven't you heard perception is reality? If the man says big deal to me, then its a big deal to me. I'm happy to see he is at home with his gay friends. That speaks volumes as you can tell much about a man by the company he keeps. Maybe that is why his scorecard is still zero, he solicits advice from the gay community. Now everything about him really falls into place. Since rookie is the best he can do, I'll not even address that. WTF do YOU have to do with anything? If you are willing to go along with his argument, that you got married, big deal, then say that. We all know that this is not for those with shallow pockets and it is a big deal no matter how you say it.

[Ray]

... in response to Re: Marriage is no big deal says Papi, posted by JaySlo on Oct 22, 2005

You said “…you should stick to your own threads.”

Does that mean that we all need your permission to comment in YOUR thread? I didn’t know that was a rule here :-)

Ray

[JaySlo]

... in response to Question, posted by Ray on Oct 22, 2005

I guess getting a one-on-one with Papi is out of the question. I wanted CaliJames to butt out as there was nothing inviting comments from others. This is a public forum and hence no rules exist. You know that, so what is your motive for asking? Why not speak your mind?
I violated a couple of my principles in my banters with Papi, I was out of order and will end all further comments on that subject.

[Ray]

... in response to Re: Question, posted by JaySlo on Oct 22, 2005

Yes, this is a public forum and by posting a message here, you are inviting comments whether you like it or not. That’s why I questioned your remarks to Cali James. I think he has a right to comment if he chooses to.

The place for a one-on-one is e-mail or some other private medium.

Peace,

Ray