marriage in Barranquilla

[jey]

Anyone know about a place or a way in Barranquilla to get married quickly and easily, like without all the required documents?
http://bogota.usembassy.gov/wwwsmare.shtml
the guy I went to Colombia with last trip does not want to have to get a certified copy of his divorce decree

[Spanky]

... in response to marriage in Barranquilla, posted by jey on Oct 19, 2005

[This message has been edited by Spanky]

general advice to all: if looking to get her here go for the fiance visa over the marriage visa just to make sure that you can withstand the first 3 months together in the states.

[Ray]

... in response to go for the fiance visa pal, posted by Spanky on Oct 19, 2005

Fiancée visas aren’t the best way for everyone. If you have serious doubts whether you can withstand the first 3 months together, then you probably aren’t ready for marriage yet and I highly recommend that you not petition her for any visa until you get to know each other better.

Ray

[soltero]

... in response to Re: fiance visa, posted by Ray on Oct 19, 2005

Having gone the spousal visa route, I will probably never do it again. Spanky is correct on this one that cultural differences play a big part and things change once they are here. Also, how do you suggest getting to know her better? Emails, Telephones? Not everyone can spend two weeks out of every month abroad. I suggest that you need to have doubts of whether you can spend 3 months together here regardless how peachy it is there. It is not the same when you are in the US. I would recommend the "test drive" to be absolutely sure. Some of the guys that luck up the first time out might not be the best to give post VISA advice.

[Ray]

... in response to Re: Re: fiance visa, posted by soltero on Oct 20, 2005

“I would recommend the "test drive" to be absolutely sure.”
This isn't like buying a used car. If you can find a woman who is willing to walk away from everything and let you “test drive” her for 90 days to see if she is a keeper or not, then go for it. If you pressure her into letting you “test drive” her when she really wants a wedding at home, then perhaps you’re just being selfish. Some ladies won’t sleep with you or even share a home with you unless you are willing to make the commitment to marriage. Many of these ladies are very religious and they would be violating the laws of their church if they married in a civil ceremony. It is extremely difficult if not virtually impossible to get married in a Catholic Church within 90 days. And do you really think that you can be “absolutely sure” after your 90-day test drive? You can NEVER be absolutely sure but you can sure increase the odds by taking the time to really get to know someone before you make the commitment. There is nothing wrong with having doubts, but doing the hard work up front will help remove some of those doubts.

“how do you suggest getting to know her better?”
Yes, e-mails, phone calls, letters, online chats, etc. That’s an excellent way to get to know someone more deeply when you can’t be together in person. Instead of just making endless small talk, ask the big questions and discuss all your concerns, dreams, and feelings about the important issues. It takes time and patience to get to know someone deeply. Those guys who think they can meet a lady today and get engaged next week are really bucking the odds.

“Some of the guys that luck up the first time out might not be the best to give post VISA advice.”
What are you insinuating here? That I or some others just got lucky and our opinions don’t count? Give me a break! It takes a lot more than luck to find the right woman. Luck is only a small part of the equation. There is a lot of hard work involved in this game and it takes much more than 90 days of playing house together. It takes patience, time, and a lot of serious communications to determine if you are likely to be compatible and have a happy life together. Those that think it is all luck are only fooling themselves.

Is the fiancée visa the best way to go? For some people, yes. For others, a traditional wedding in the lady’s hometown with her family and friends in attendance is more appropriate. Whether you both decide to go for the fiancée visa or a spousal visa, just make damn sure that BOTH of you are ready to make a lifetime commitment before you make your decision to marry.

Ray

[utopiacowboy]

... in response to Test Drive?, posted by Ray on Oct 20, 2005

I completely agree with you. There was no way on God's green earth that my wife was going to leave her home and family for some kind of 90 day test run. If I wanted her I had to marry her in Colombia with her friends and family present. More than two years later we're still honeymooners. Is it luck?

I hear this about luck all the time. Yeah, guys like Tiger Woods, Joe Montana, Roger Clemens etc. are just lucky. I am not putting myself in their class as far as women are concerned but I think a guy makes his own luck. You may get a few breaks in life but one guy can take advantage of them and another guy can't. Or one guy can see what is necessary to close the deal of a life time and another guy is just so rigid he can't manage it.

[soltero]

... in response to You tell 'em Ray., posted by utopiacowboy on Oct 21, 2005

It was luck that you met your wife in the first place. It was luck that she happened to have her profile online and you happened to find it. It's luck to get those few breaks and yes, you have to have the good sense to take advantage of them. Why is it so hard for guy's to admit they got lucky? Your wife could have been an axe murderer without you ever knowing it until long after she got here (just an example, please don't explain to me how she had to turn in a police report).

You may place yourself in a position to do a certain thing, but regardless of your level of skill, there is always luck involved because there are always things beyond your control. I am not trying to change your mind, just delivering a counterpoint. Call it whatever you want, but have the good sense to give credit to forces working beyond your control. (this last statement is not directed specifically at you UC)

[utopiacowboy]

... in response to Re: You tell 'em Ray., posted by soltero on Oct 21, 2005

I agree with you that it is plain dumb luck who crosses your path but every one of us encounters numerous women every day. Some of them we'll never see again, others we encounter every day. Sure there are a lot of "accidents" and things that we cannot control.

However there is a lot we can control. We can keep our eyes open for opportunities and take advantage of them when they present themselves. A good athlete may be "lucky" enough to have his opponent make a mistake but what separates the men from the boys is what you do with this "luck". Do you take advantage of it or do you let it slip away?

I would say in the course of a lifetime, each one of us has as many positive as negative chance encounters. Those of us who can minimize the effects of the negative while maximizing the positive will be those that others call "lucky". I think with the right attitude and skills, it's there for everyone.

[soltero]

... in response to Everybody has "luck", posted by utopiacowboy on Oct 21, 2005

Thank you, that is exactly the point I was trying to make and all that I was trying to say. Congrats on your continued success.

[Ray]

... in response to Re: You tell 'em Ray., posted by soltero on Oct 21, 2005


Soltero, this obsession with luck as THE determining factor in who ends up in a good marriage and who doesn’t is just crazy. Why can’t you just admit that Cowboy used his head to made a good choice for a mate. To say that it was all luck that made it possible for him to find a good wife is silly. It was luck that she happened to have her profile on line and it was only luck that he found it? That’s really a weak argument to support your theory.

The fact is that Cowboy and others made choices that led to a happy marriage. He could have chosen any of millions of women on this planet who would have made a good loving wife. Anyone who thinks that there is only one woman out there who can be the right mate for him (“soul mate”) and he must only get lucky to find her is just goofy. Just because he happened to settle on this particular woman is not based overwhelmingly on luck, but is more a tribute to Cowboy’s ability to sort through thousands of women to select a good one.

Soltero, I don’t know your personal situation, but from my experience, the guys on these forums who push the “luck factor” as the primary reason for success in marriage are always the same guys who had a big failure in their relationship with a woman. Instead of accepting that they may be the one primarily responsible for their failure by their choice of mate, they try to justify their mistakes by blaming it all on bad luck. And instead of giving credit to those guys who made a good choice and worked hard on their relationship to build a successful, happy marriage, they brush it off as just dumb luck.

Like I said before, a little luck always helps but luck is just a minor player in this game of life. Did you ever consider the possibility that some guys are just better judges of character and are able to make good choices based on their good judgement while others just don’t have a clue? You’re not very likely to find a good wife by relying on luck just as you aren’t likely to get rich by purchasing a Super Lotto ticket.

Ray

[soltero]

... in response to Oh come on…, posted by Ray on Oct 21, 2005

[This message has been edited by soltero]

Ray, I am sorry if I confused you or was in any way vague or obtuse in any of the posts that I placed regarding this topic. Let me be succinct and hopefully clear so that you may get it this time as I would prefer to move on to something else as this has run it's course in regards to interest (mine). If in some way I lead you to believe, and I cannot fathom how, that I believe that luck is the primary factor in this, then I apologize. All I am saying is that luck is a factor, and I know we are on opposite ends of this, but the person who does not acknowledge that it is more than some perceived "skill" is lost and in denial. I will not stoop to calling them foolish or stupid, I will leave that to arrogant individuals such as yourself who although an expert on immigration law for some odd reason (or a very good cut and paste artist), put your pants on one leg at a time just like everyone else.

I am not going to repeat my position again as I explained it well enough in the previous posts. Repetition is for the hard of hearing, and this has been typed, so go back and read more slowly. I think your position is valid and worked for you, but you are Ray, not John, Bill or Steve. The point is, the other option is there for a reason, and if you don't like it, that point has been made clearly. That does not mean that because Ray uttered it, so shall it be done.

Luck, Fate, Kismet, Faith is involved. Something greater than YOU is involved. To say that someone is less than, more ignorant, foolish, or otherwise diminished for not being as lucky, yes,lucky as you have been is slightly short of dense. This is not a process that is won through analysis as many have told Okie. There is only so much that you can prepare for. You can know exactly what you want and how to get it and still never receive it. I guess you, Ray, can also tell the future. You are amazing. Keep patting yourself on the back for your amazing preparatory skills, and think back on how you met your wife and how many things could have gone wrong without you, the Captain of Destiny, unneeding of the hand of God, steering the ship. Luck is not everything Ray, on that we agreed before you wrote the post that I am responding to. Let's agree to disagree as it is time to move on...

Oh, I almost forgot...

"Why can’t you just admit that Cowboy used his head to made a good choice for a mate."

Go back in the archives and read some of his posts on how they met. Maybe I read them incorrectly. It seemed that a lot of fate, destiny and luck was involved in HIS telling of it. Not discounting any other factor, just saying it was involved. Are you a CPA or an Actuary? Just curious. As happy as he is, you want to say that he "settled" for this woman? I think he found someone that fit him perfectly from his account, and crunching numbers alone will NOT lead you to that.

Let it go Ray...we disagree. I am an idiot for having my opinion and so are you for having yours. I am not going to change your mind and you are not going to change mine. We can play nice from now on and agree to disagree. Usually, most of your points are valid because they are based in fact, but this is one that you cannot prove by going to the USCIS website, so let it go. Lastly, I apologize for not remaining succinct with this post.

[Ray]

... in response to Re: Oh come on…, posted by soltero on Oct 21, 2005

Since you have obviously found yourself unable to argue your point logically, you have now resorted to cheap name-calling and petty insults. What’s the matter Soltero, did I hit a nerve?

No matter how you try to spin it, there are some guys who have a successful marriage because of their hard work and good choices. You can attribute their success to luck if you wish, but you are only fooling yourself. Sorry, but I ain’t buying your nonsense.

Ray :-)

[Fuzzyone]

... in response to Re: Re: Oh come on…, posted by Ray on Oct 21, 2005

I think Ray is right on this one. I don't really call it luck when I met my wife
from Barranquilla. I might have just ran into her on the web but if she was not
what I was looking for in a woman then she would have ended up on the wood
pile with the also rans. I tried to be real careful comepared to the girl I met from
Peru that made my life H@LL. I did not follow advise that everyone gave me
including the marriage agency that sold me the addresses of the girls.

   Some men learn some do not, some dissappear it is life I don't call it luck.

[soltero]

... in response to Re: Re: Re: Oh come on…, posted by Fuzzyone on Oct 21, 2005

Fuzz, I wouldn't call it luck either. All of this got blown out of proportion because I initially said that the guys that were married were lucky. For some reason, Ray took that as an affront to his "skill" in inquiring his better half. Do you feel lucky or fortunate that you have your wife? Do you feel that luck was at all involved in your current happiness, I would and be thankful for it if I had it. I don't know how this got so twisted. Everything I said is in Black and White in the posts above this one. Truly read my posts and see if Ray was only arguing with himself or not.

[Ray]

... in response to Re: Re: Re: Re: Oh come on…, posted by soltero on Oct 21, 2005

“All of this got blown out of proportion because I initially said that the guys that were married were lucky.”
No, actually it got blown out of proportion because you proclaimed your opinions to be facts and discounted my opinions as just bull shit. Who appointed you the supreme fountain of truth anyway?

“Everything I said is in Black and White in the posts above this one. Truly read my posts and see if Ray was only arguing with himself or not.” O.K., let’s take a look at some of the things that you actually said.

Soltero: “Some of the guys that luck up the first time out might not be the best to give post VISA advice.”
Translation: You’re opinions and advice don’t count because you only got lucky so you should shut up.

Soltero: “Sorry, but that's bullsh!t”
Translation: Only my (Soltero’s) opinions are correct and everyone else’s opinions are just bull shit.

Soltero: “…unless you think you are something special and different in some way, you, and anyone else that found happiness the first time out was lucky”
Translation: Only the almighty Soltero is special and everyone else who found happiness is just stupid and lucky.

Soltero: “Don't get upset about that fact.”
Translation: My (Soltero’s) opinions are facts and everyone else’s are just bull shit whether you like it or not.

Soltero: “Cheap name calling? I'm sorry, but I just threw back at you what you yourself posted. O.K., lets look at your words:

Soltero: “I will not stoop to calling them foolish or stupid”. Excuse me, but you just did. Did I call you foolish and stupid?

Soltero: “…arrogant individuals such as yourself…”. Did I call you arrogant?

Soltero: “To say that someone is less than, more ignorant, foolish, or otherwise diminished for not being as lucky, yes,lucky as you have been is slightly short of dense.” Excuse me, but I didn’t say those things and I didn’t call you dense either. Perhaps you are hallucinating again?

Soltero: “…the Captain of Destiny, unneeding of the hand of God, steering the ship…” My, what a load of crap that was! Yes, I need God but YOU aren’t God Soltero.

Soltero: “…who although an expert on immigration law for some odd reason (or a very good cut and paste artist)…”. Well, I NEVER proclaimed myself to be an expert on immigration law or anything else and besides, what does that stupid-ass comment have to do with the topic at hand anyway. You’re just blowing smoke Soltero because you have nothing else.

And YOU had the balls to call ME arrogant? ROTFLMGDAO! You simply cannot accept an opposing opinion and the evidence is right there in “Black and White”.

Yes, I’ll drop this topic when YOU stop distorting the truth by making false accusations of what I posted.

No hard feelings :-)

Ray