14 hours before departure

[Kiltboy1]

... in response to Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: 14 hours..., posted by beenthere on Oct 8, 2005

never had that problem with a latina. They all fall in love  with me , , ask Pete .that is the problem. I am too picky now. There are many good ones, but for the normal guy just going down, they need a lot of caution, I learn from my mistakes and do not plan to make them again.

Nuff said on this subject.

Seeker, good luck and do it how you want and do not listen to all these guys. I think you are doing the right thing, just tell the paisa the truth first

KB

[beenthere]

... in response to Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: 14 h..., posted by Kiltboy1 on Oct 8, 2005

[This message has been edited by beenthere]

D*mn, you ARE the man KB, they ALL fall in love with you??? jajaja...you sound a little like me!!

[mudd]

... in response to Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: 14 h..., posted by Kiltboy1 on Oct 8, 2005

" just tell the paisa the truth first" no kidding!!!! what do you think started this thread?  if he was up front, told her the truth in the 1st place,  we wouldnt be voicing our own personal opinions about THEIR lives.

hope he reads this mess before he does something he might regret.

[Canadaman]

... in response to Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: ..., posted by mudd on Oct 9, 2005

KB and Kiltboy,

Here here here here..................

" just tell the paisa the truth first"

[mudd]

... in response to Re: Re: Re: 14 hours before departure, posted by Kiltboy1 on Oct 8, 2005


We “gringos" are getting a bad reputation for being just like the local men, keeping you options open, dating several girls, trying to sleep with most, when you already have a girlfriend. If he had any respect for the girl, he would be upfront with her, and not assume he thinks she knows what he is doing. I think he wants to believe that she has a clue to what he is doing "but I'm confident that she is intelligent enough to know that this is what I'm up to.”  

That sounds like deception at least, and not being honest about everything. Beating up on him, no, just pointing out some issues with what he is doing, and it doesn’t sound very honest. Why not just tell the girl, he is going to Cali to meet other girls, what's he afraid of?  If he is afraid of telling her and being honest about it, then it sounds like he is doing something she isn’t going to be happy about.   Why not tell her, so she can meet and date other men, instead of assuming that she is, and probably is waiting around for him to make a commitment.

Their is a difference between "keeping your options open” and "lieing and deceiving."  Until you have a ring on the girl’s finger, you have to keep your options open, that I know, but to sneak and deceive is another thing. I wish him well, with whatever he does.

[Kiltboy1]

... in response to Re: Re: Re: Re: 14 hours before departur..., posted by mudd on Oct 8, 2005

Mudd

I agree with you to an extent, but the problem is that many guys i talk to buy into the "LATINA IS FAITHFUL" bull crap and put there eggs in one basket and end up getting burned. Maybe seeker should tell her is is going to cali. I would not tell her i was going to meet other women because i have not met one woman in colombia that will go for a gringo dating others when in country to see her. Just will not fly. If he tells her, she will tell him hasta la vista bebe.I am not saying go sleep with a bunch of women, only that you just cannot date more then one woman in colombia and the other woman is ok with it. In his case, better to visit an agency where the girls are aware you will be seeing other women.

KB

[mudd]

... in response to Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: 14 hours before depa..., posted by Kiltboy1 on Oct 8, 2005

true, but he and she  has invested some time into the relationship, and it sounds like she thinks they are boyfriend and girlfriend, not casually dating, but he is leading her on, to see if something better comes up in Cali. If it does, he will give her the boot, if not, then I am pretty sure he will keep leading her on. Doesn’t sound too honest and when you doing it to a girl with a small child, who see's her mother dating this guy, then later, he’s gone, what do you think the child is going to think,   Single mothers don’t date.

[doombug]

... in response to Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: 14 hours before ..., posted by mudd on Oct 8, 2005

"Single mothers don’t date"

I'm not sure where this belief came about, but it's sounding too much like the assignment of greater morality to those women who just happen to have children.   Ex novias w/children that I've split from, reunited with, then split from again weren't shy in telling me about--or showing photos of--the men they "dated" during our relationship lapse.  And I doubt that most others sit at home on Friday and Saturday nights because of some universal commandment that single mothers don't go clubbing.  One of the duties of their female friends is to make sure that that kind of abstinence doesn't occur.

Single mothers can be selfish and conniving.  In fact, they have a greater incentive to be so.    

[Kiltboy1]

... in response to Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: 14 hours bef..., posted by doombug on Oct 9, 2005

I agree. I have had many of them tell me the kids at grandmas and she is off to RUMBEAR !!!!

[Michael B]

... in response to Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: 14 hours before ..., posted by mudd on Oct 8, 2005

I'm going to have to side with Mudd and Beenthere on this one. Not being ready for the responsibilities of fatherhood does not necessarily make one a bad guy. However, if one truely ISN'T ready, then the time to have decided that was BEFORE becoming involved with a woman with children, not after visiting her, stringing her along for almost a year and arranging to visit her again.

[JaySlo]

... in response to Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: 14 hours before depa..., posted by Kiltboy1 on Oct 8, 2005

The best time to date others is before calling someone your girlfriend. If you are upfront about dating others when you first meet a potential, chances are she will understand. If she has anything on the ball she won't wait very long but she will never doubt your honesty. The user girls are the ones that really don't want you to check your options.  From the onset they are opposed or upset that you would think to see someone else and they will try to control you. Avoid that type like the plague. The fact that you are still looking suggests to me that you aren't totally convinced. If that is the case, you need to move on and let her go, especially with the ex in the background. Don't give him an opportunity to play hero by rescuing her from the gringo who used her.

[ROGUEAGENT]

... in response to Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: 14 hours before ..., posted by JaySlo on Oct 8, 2005

We need some clarification here. First of all, why did SEEKER put "girlfriend" in quotes? Second, just what (or how much) has he previously communicated about the exclusivity of the relationship? Third, does he have specific information about the ex-husband that bothers him or is it just a general fear about the unknown? Fourth, similarly, what exactly are his feelings about being a step-father; is he unsure because he needs more information about what is involved in this specific situation or is he absolutely against it and is looking for a way out of the relationship? Maybe he will be using his trip to Colombia to answer these (and other) questions. Until there are answers to these questions it is hard to give advice or evaluate things because we don't have sufficient information.

[Canadaman]

... in response to Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: 14 hours before ..., posted by JaySlo on Oct 8, 2005

Seeker,

It is called being honest with yourself and her.....

1)Let me see , a single mother who is your novia.. You are going to visit her for 2-3 days.. Have fun and frolic'ing good time....

2)Leave your paisa novia and go to Cali for a week and date other girls.... Please take lots of condoms, you don't want to give your novia anything...

3)Then go back to Medellin and spend some quality time with his Novia and her child....

Seeker if you don't want this girl... Ler her go and have a chance to meet a man that will treat her with respect.

If you don't want her then why are you leading her on.. Is the sex that great..... jeezzzz

I remember reading your stories about writing to her and going to see her.... Going away and bringing the child along on a trip in country...   What happened ?

I think you are a good guy but you want your cake and eat it also....

If she is not for you , tell her... The truth will set you free..

CanadaMan