Latinas opinions about men's appearance

[OkieMan]

Hi guys,

I just got a thought about something, and so I wanted to put down my thoughts before I forgot them.  It has to do with what women say and then what they think, ( in other words, how they really feel).
I will not even try to cover all aspects of this, because it would take up way too much time.  But, I will focus on at least 1 thing.  No doubt, a lot of this will apply to all women everywhere; but I will try to focus on the latinas. Now, on the agency websites, on the women's profiles, it is common to read that the women are less interested in what the man looks like, blah, blah, blah. Or she says that she doesn't really care about what a man looks like, etc.  There are many versions of basically the same thought.  First of all, do you guys think that the women actually wrote that, or is some chuckle head from the agency writing that because they think that is what the men want to hear?   I have read comments on this board that in some cases, agency owners or employees have written to some men, or write up the profile info and put in some misleading things.  But, the other part of that is to focus on the fact that no matter what anyone says, these latinas really do care about a man's appearance.  Most of you know that better than I do!   I know that I have read many posts on this board from many of you more experienced guys.  That has always been a strong point that you have made, and it is a very valid one.  In my limited experience, I have already found that to be true.  So, I can't understand why this "garbage" and misleading information is still out there?  If the ladies are actually writing this in their profile, then they are not telling the truth.  If the agencies are putting that down so that they can lure more gringos down, even if they look like crap-- we know the answer to that!  So, I just wanted to toss this out to you.  Hey, even I can figure this one out!

                                    OkieMan

[Pete E]

... in response to Latinas opinions about men's appearance, posted by OkieMan on Sep 27, 2005

OM,
I think when a woman says in a profile looks are not important she is really saying she will consider a guy regardless  of looks.Its still importasnt I think.She is just indicating openess.AND she is talking about basic appearance,not clothing I would guess.Its best to present  yourself the best you can with what you have to
work with.You are OK in that department.When you start trying to talk to them and what you tell them is your challenge.
My take,when you got off that plane  Yadira liked what saw.Thats big when you have just been writing.How you related or failed to relate to her killed the deal.
Concentrate on that.Get a couch,you are not likely to figure it out on your own.
And you see contradiction where there is none here.You just have to understand what they are trying to say.They are telling the truth as they see it.Might be indicating more openess to poor appearance thasn thery really have,but you do not know untill you meet them.

Pete

[OkieMan]

... in response to Re:  Latinas opinions about men's appear..., posted by Pete E on Sep 28, 2005

Pete,

Thanks, and I am working on it.  Quite frankly, I am trying to figure out how to ask a lady some questions without overdoing it. Part of the problem is cultural, in that the girls are mostly laid back and on "latina time".  I am trying to learn more about that, but I am most certainly not a laid back guy.  That is just not my personality; so I will have to work on easing back a little.   Plus, I need to learn more spanish, but as you know, that is tough to do.   Also, time is an issue.  I know that it would be better to stay down there for weeks or months on end, etc.  But, as the old saying goes- Rome wasn't built in a day.  So, in the meantime, I am trying to "lighten up", but at the same time, get the desired results.  As far as the deal with Yadira, I have to admit that I blew it.  Plus, I will never know everything that transpired; so now, I am just willing to move on, forget it, and look for another latina. However, I do not want to repeat my past mistakes, so I am  trying to learn from those mistakes.  Take care.

                            OkieMan

[jediknight]

... in response to Latinas opinions about men's appearance, posted by OkieMan on Sep 27, 2005

lies, misleading information, garbage, not telling the truth, latinas opinion about mens appearance....are you kidding me?
first of all, everyone lies, whether its a small one or big one,whether you call it stretching the truth, white lie, a lie is a lie. what kind of a lie are you willing to tolerate, put up with or accept?

of course latinas lie, they do it all the time, so what? they are not any different than the women here, they are not that tall unless they wear heels, their boobs aren't that big unless they wear wonder bras or have implants, they don't smell that good unless they put on perfume or look that good unless they put on makeup, they change the color of their hair, have extensions and use false nails, they lie about their weight and other things just to grab your attention, they are walking lies and deception, does this mean you are going to stop dating women?

agencies lie, big deal, they are a business, this is nothing new, does this mean that you are going to stop using the agencies? it is your responsibility to find out for yourself what these women want, need and desire, do not blame the agencies, they are there for one thing, to introduce you to women, thats it, nothing more. beyond that it falls entirely on your shoulders to learn the language, ask the women the right questions,learn to read between the lines, she how she reacts in certain situations, talk to her family, friends and ask her more questions.

are you going to change your attitude, way of dressing and grooming habits because you want to do it for yourself or just to impress a latina? will you be one person in colombia and another person here? are you willing to conform to her taste and way she would like you to look even after you bring her here or will you go back to the way you dressed before going to colombia? will you be a participant in the deception that goes on every day to get her attention? don't blame others or criticize what they put down on their profiles, they will tell you what you want to hear, anything to get your attention. are you going to blindly believe everything? use common sense, of course latinas care about your appearance, all women do, just like you care about their appearance, it is up to you to talk to them and see if they are being truthful, a vague profile will not tell you anything and the agencies cannot protect you, its all up to you.
JK

[OkieMan]

... in response to what?, posted by jediknight on Sep 28, 2005

Jediknight,

What you have said is true; however, I was making an observation, and true or not doesn't mean I have to like it!!  I understand that everyone wants to put their best foot forward, no question.  But, I am not nearly the first to gripe about similar issues like this one on this forum.  When I started on this message board about
1 1/2- 2 years ago, I barely knew anything, other than the geographical location of South America, and I knew that latinas were beautiful.  Other than that, not much.  So, I have attempted to learn from you and others on this board; to better educate myself about this process.   I have also made 2 trips to Cali.   Well, I think I have made significant process, but I certainly have a long ways to go.  I was simply trying to bring up a point that I thought would be a good topic of discussion.  I think I was right, just look at how many other posters have made their own comments, including you!

                           OkieMan

[CaliBound]

... in response to Latinas opinions about men's appearance, posted by OkieMan on Sep 27, 2005

In the daytime, I wear polo-type shirts and blue jeans. At night, I wear black jeans and short sleeves shirts.

I like jeans because they do not wrinkle like other types of pants - I seen guys wearing dockets that looked like they were taken right out of the hamper.

I make sure that my shoes (I take at least 2 pairs)are clean and of good quality.  I also make sure that my belt goes with the shoes. The ladies seem to like this style of dressing.

If I am meeting a professional lady for lunch, I would wear my black jeans (he-heh).

Unless you are wearing a "Guayavera" (cuban style shirt), make sure that your shirt is tucked in.

Latinas appreciate a man who smells good - do not wear the same pant two days in a row! A good cologne will score points for you.

I also shave twice a day. I would never go out on a night date wearing my 5-oclock shadow.

The only time I wear shorts is by the pool. I have heard many latinas make negative comments about men in shorts.

- Frank -

[pablo]

... in response to While In Colombia ...., posted by CaliBound on Sep 28, 2005


Unless dressed for business or formal attire most guys I see wear their shirts UNtucked no matter what the style of shirt, at least in Medellin.

[mudd]

... in response to Shirts In?, posted by pablo on Sep 29, 2005

totaly agree, shirt out is the sytle now

[Frank O]

... in response to Shirts In?, posted by pablo on Sep 29, 2005

Same thing in Mexico.

[jediknight]

... in response to While In Colombia ...., posted by CaliBound on Sep 28, 2005

[This message has been edited by jediknight]

also, latinas absolutly HATE men who wear dress shoes, slacks and white socks, almost as much as they hate men who sleep with their socks on
JK

[Bueller]

... in response to white socks, posted by jediknight on Sep 28, 2005

Who wouldn't? They stand out like a comb-over. And it's best not to get cutesy with matching your socks to your necktie or whatever; if in doubt, just wear black socks. Unless you're wearing shorts, of course, then it's white.

[Brazilophile]

... in response to Latinas opinions about men's appearance, posted by OkieMan on Sep 27, 2005

I haven't read all the posts so I may repeat what another has already written.

My experiences on my first trips (to Cartagena and Cali) were more to the side of appearance not being a high priority for most ladies at the initial meeting.  I did not dress "metrosexual" on those or any other trips.  I dressed as I usually dressed in the US.  I did wear shorts to some "dates".  I mostly wore Lacoste style shirts, Dockers style pants, and tennis sneakers.  I did not dress to impress anyone.

I am sure that several, if not many, ladies were less than impressed at how I was dressed.  I did not care.  At the initial meeting I was interested ONLY in whether she was someone I wanted to see again. I had my list of topics to discuss and started in on them in Spanish after introducing myself.  I found that EVERY LADY disregarded my clothing as soon as she started responding to my prompt to tell me about the most important things she needed to be happy in a marriage.

I vividly remember one calena I met at the old Latin Love who was 180 degrees the opposite of me in dress style.  She was 25, had a VERY sexy curvy body, a pretty face, but TONS of make-up, long braided hair extensions past to her hips, long tri-color finger nails, and lots of jewely and accessories.  She worked in her older sister's beauty salon.  (2 of her sisters were also in the LL books.  She had 3 sisters, the oldest of whom owned the beauty salon.) I met her in shorts, white socks, sneakers, and casual shirt.  By the end of hour long initial meeting she was VERY interested in me DESPITE my very unimpresssive clothing.  However, her clothing was WAY too loud for me and I wasn't at all sure I could influence her in toning it down.  In addition, her voice was difficult to listen to for long periods of time.  So I passed on her.

Ladies only showed concern for my dress style AFTER they were interested in me and agreed to see me again.  It is clear to me that they are first looking at our personalities, then at our clothing, grooming etc.  They can (and will!!!) change our dress style after we are involved with them, but they can't change our personalities.  My advice is to be yourself and let your true personality show.  The lady who likes your personality will like you for you now and buy you a new wardrobe after.

[Bueller]

... in response to Re:  Latinas opinions about men's appear..., posted by Brazilophile on Sep 28, 2005

This is a variation on the old, idealistic, "People shouldn't judge me by how I dress."

 As Jim Rohn so aptly says, "Well, let me give you a clue: they do."

[Brazilophile]

... in response to I disagree, posted by Bueller on Sep 28, 2005

I am not clear about the point on which you disagree.  I didn't say that the ladies I met didn't judge my way of dressing.  In fact, they did.  I said that that they judged my personality by the verbal interaction we had in our initial meeting.  The ladies that were sufficiently attracted to my personality agreed to see me again and then commented on my dress.  

I conclude with the claim that Latin women, at least the emotionally healthy and emotionally mature ones, place a higher priority on a man being faithful to her, treating her with respect, fullfilling his responsibilities as a husband and father, and loving her unconditionally, than on the clothes he wears.  I repeat what I said.  A woman can always change a man's clothing.  She can't change his personality and values.  Nothing in your post addresses or refutes my claim.

[Bueller]

... in response to Re: I disagree, posted by Brazilophile on Sep 28, 2005

You put an unnecessary obstacle in your path.