Firstly, thanks go out to Pete E. for improving the signal-to-noise ratio with his call for more informative threads and fewer antagonistic ones.
OKM,
I read the long thread below that gave you a lot of very good advice. I have my own $0.02 to offer FWIW. What I have to say is not very complimentary, and I apologize for that in advance. My intention is not to pick on you. It is to use the thread in question to show how you, and similar men, are sabotaging your own wife search.
When you first started posting here, I noticed that you rarely directly confronted anyone. You politely acknowledged what a poster said to you, vowed to take the advice and change, and then gave a reason why that change could not occur right away. I thought to myself that you were not listening to anyone and tuned out of those of your posts that related to your situation and search.
In this latest long thread, a pattern jumped out at me. Hit me in the face really. I finally got some insight into you and your situation. The pattern your posts follow is very rigid:
1) Compliment the poster: excellent post, great advice, etc.
2) Use the word "BUT".
3a) Blame someone else: my wife went weird on me, my wife cheated on me, the Latina stoppped communicating with me, I feel she lied to me.
3b) Give a reason why the "excellent" advice can't be followed: Spanish can't be learned at the snap of a finger, I am still learning about Latin culture, my business is taking up all my time, etc.
After reading about your parents' marriage, it finally dawned on me.
You are DISMISSIVE of others', particularly women's, points of view.
This is not your fault. The apple does not fall very far from the tree, and you most likely learned this behavior from your father. It is your responsibility to change if you do not want to grow old alone. It is clear to me that as women got to know you well, for the AW after marriage and for the Calena after your visit, they sensed they were not being taken seriously and distanced themselves from you. Based on what you have written here, you failed at relationships with 2 AWs and 1 LW. The common factor is YOU and YOU alone. The common factor is NOT AW. There is something about you and/or your behavior that is driving women away from you. If you do not want to continue being alone, you need to find our what that is. I claim that it is your dismissiveness of other's opinions.
One place to start is with your sons. I assume based on your age that they are at least of dating age. How is that going? Are they experiencing the same difficulties as you? Have they learned about women from you? The best place is continue is with your exes. I suggest you contact them and BEG them to tell you TRUTHFULLY what it was about you that lead them to prefer other men.
I give Hoda credit for coining the phrase "check-up from the neck up". That is something you need to do in order to break out of the behavior that is dooming potential romantic relationships.
