After having gone through a divorce which included more than a handful of assets, I found that the most damaging thing wasn't the financial cost, but the emotional cost.
By that I mean the lost time of being bogged down with the divorce process, and being in the ambiguous state of romantic "availability limbo", until the divorce is finalized.
For example, I didn't want to book my trip to Colombia until my divorce was finalized. I certainly didn't want to have to tell the 30 gorgeous, single Latinas that, "Me and my wife of 15 years are still married, but separated"... I don't think that would have gone over too well with the marriage-minded, devout Christian Latinas I was planning to meet...
My observations are the following:
1. The main advantage of a pre-nup, in my opinion, is the possibility to SPEED up the divorce process... to allow both parties to move on emotionally as well as financially, as QUICKLY as possible.
2. From a practical standpoint, it at least gives you a basis to start with an agreement, since divorce (at least in Ohio) REQUIRES the parties to come to agreement at SOME POINT before the judge will grant the divorce.
3. Also from a practical standpoint (in Ohio), the pre-marital assets are protected, so I don't see the pre-nup helping much there.
As far as assets acquired DURING the marriage... If the guy is out making "millions", and comes home daily to an attentive, affectionate, horny wife, at least for some duration of the marriage, she's entitled to "something" isn't she? Maybe the pre-nup can define the limitations on the amount of "something".
4. Again, in Ohio, either spouse can walk into the "final" divorce hearing in which the divorce is SUPPOSED to be granted, and say "NO" when the judge asks if both parties are "sure" this is what they want. If either spouse says they don't want the divorce, the judge won't grant it.
5. Final note. What if the guy has decent assets to begin with, but the gorgeous Latina he brings stateside "blows up" into a multi-million dollar super-model prior to an unfortunate divorce... how does the pre-nup account for that?
6. Aside: I think a pre-nup does have value if fidelity clauses are put in for both sides. However, I think if fidelity clauses are inserted, then sexual availability clauses should be also.
CONCLUSION:
Although the pre-nup has the POSSIBILITY (not a guarantee) of speeding up the divorce process, it also has the possibility of setting the wrong tone for the relationship, or putting a bad taste in the mouth of an otherwise wonderful woman... so there are advantages and disadvantages. Therefore, no definitive conclusion for me right now.
NOTE: Its interesting how my stance on pre-nups has softened, since the bitterness of my divorce has been replaced by the sweetness of Latina Love :-)
