PL Rule #1 (Point B)

[papi]

I support PL Rule #1 which I believe was authored by CaliPro.  My question is this – at what point do you say – well, she is not complying so she is not into me?   For example, I have a friend that recently met a lady in Bogota, made a couple trips got engaged and started the K1 and unfortunately sent in the petition without first getting to know her in the biblical sense so to speak.. Now, she changed her mind wont sleep with him and gave the ring back. He learned a difficult and painful lesson.  Another friend told me that if a Colombian woman is not biting on your ear by the second date – she is not into you.  Of course, there are no guarantees as I painfully discovered with my ex-novia in Medellin who also bailed on the K1 (after I did get to know her that way).  But my point is, travel takes time and money, my inclination is to make no effort at sleeping with a woman on the first trip but bail on the second visit if it does not happen.  I suppose there are no hard and fast rules like PL Rule #1 but it would be interesting to hear your feedback.  My brother used to say with respect to AW, if she does not sleep with me by the third date – she's out.  Well, that may be extreme but at the same time no one wants to waste time on these long distance forays

[utopiacowboy]

... in response to PL Rule #1 (Point B), posted by papi on Jul 24, 2005

There are exceptions but they are a passionate group. If they are not into you, there won't be much physical intimacy. If they are into you, you'll know it - you'll be flat on your back with her on top riding you like a finisher in the Kentucky Derby. Ride 'em cowgirl!

[papi]

... in response to I agree with the ear-biting rule, posted by utopiacowboy on Jul 24, 2005

now you are talking Utopia..and a great workout to go along with my new diet plan. On that note, it is off to the gym

[Calipro]

... in response to PL Rule #1 (Point B), posted by papi on Jul 24, 2005

Rule number one is “never buy anything for a woman that you haven’t slept with before”. I’m not talking about dinner, drinks or going to the movies. I’m talking about tangible goods that cost more than five bucks. I wouldn’t buy a CD for a girl I hadn’t slept with.  

Rule number one has two purposes and is designed for the guy that has a little trouble determining if a girl is really into him or not. First it saves you money and secondly it saves you time. It works on the simple principle that if you aren’t getting any and she isn’t getting anything either; the relationship will end in a matter of hours or days unless there is some real chemistry between the two of you.

One caution! This rule was designed with young hot caleñas in mind who tend to be rather short sighted. It may not work as well on the older more desperate types especially if they have a child. Women in this group have been know to actually sleep with guys that they don’t like but can rarely pull it off long enough to get a green card unless the guy is blind.

Calipro’s guidelines on dating in Cali are as follows.

If the two of you go out together alone on the first date there should be kissing. If you take her out to dinner,she should give you an opening shot for a kiss by the end of the evening or don’t bother calling her again. If she calls you then you might reconsider. If the two of you go out for a night of dancing and drinks you should be getting passionate kisses.

Date number two, there should be heavy petting and she shouldn’t be afraid to go to your apartment.  

Date number three, you should get some or the sex discussion should come up. Some girls will  actually want some kind of commitment on your part before jumping into bed with you. It will range from just asking you AGAIN if you have a girlfriend or if you are married to setting a wedding date. If you ask her she will usually tell you what she wants. Then you will have to decide whether to lie, tell the truth or forget about it.

Personally I have never dated a virgin in Cali that I know of so I have never gotten the “I don’t believe in sex before marriage excuse”.  

I would be interested in hearing anybody’s story about that, if it happened to them.

Of course, after you are having sex with your new girlfriend any time you want, you will end up paying for just about everything. But that's another story.

[jediknight]

... in response to Re: PL Rule #1 (Point B), posted by Calipro on Jul 24, 2005

[This message has been edited by jediknight]

Rule number one is “never buy anything for a woman that you haven’t slept with before”. I’m not talking about dinner, drinks or going to the movies. I’m talking about tangible goods that cost more than five bucks. I wouldn’t buy a CD for a girl I hadn’t slept with.

i disagree completly on this rule, it should be more of a suggestion than a rule. i've given things to girls without having had sex with them because i wanted to. if i give something to a girl i do it without expecting anything in return, just like if i were to help someone out, i'd do it because i wanted to and know that it will make someone else feel good.
i'm not saying that you should send her a laptop because she doesn't have a computer but in the beginning of a relationship with someone that you really like, buying her flowers, a box of chocolate, a stuffed animal, things that will not set you back even a little are totally appropriate, they are forms of expression, everyone likes to receive things. i think its ridiculous to not buy someone you are really interested in something small before having sex, i mean come on, a girl has to f*** me before getting a freakin CD?.

early on in my relationship with my fiancee, for el dia de amor y amistad (valentines day) in sept, i sent her a stuffed animal and gifts for her students (shes a teacher)hot wheel cars for the boys and scrunchies for the girls, i found them in ebay so it was very cheap. the point is that she loved the fact that i was thinking of her and the kids. i called her and she passed the phone around so everyone could say thank you, they were thrilled.
JK

[utopiacowboy]

... in response to Re: Re: PL Rule #1 (Point B), posted by jediknight on Jul 24, 2005

[This message has been edited by utopiacowboy]

I sent my wife 20 bucks for her to go out and buy a web cam and it was a nice little test. Would she follow through on her word? It also allowed me to see her apartment and see who was with her while she was talking to me. All in all, it helped establish trust and also to see how hot she really was. Best 20 bucks I ever spent.

[papi]

... in response to I agree with you, posted by utopiacowboy on Jul 24, 2005

that is smart - i did the same thing with the lady i just met in BAQ except the money was for the internet cafe and phone cards

[papi]

... in response to I agree with you, posted by utopiacowboy on Jul 24, 2005

that is smart - i did the same thing with the lady i just met in BAQ except the money was for the internet cafe and phone cards

[soltero]

... in response to Re: Re: PL Rule #1 (Point B), posted by jediknight on Jul 24, 2005

I am in Cali right now and have been here for about a month, and as sweet and romantic as what you are saying is, I would not steer ANYONE away from rule number one when dealing with the women here. Err on the side of good sense instead of a bleeding heart...

[jediknight]

... in response to Re: Re: Re: PL Rule #1 (Point B), posted by soltero on Jul 24, 2005

perhaps the girls in cali are different, more aggressive but the ones i've met in bogota, barranquilla, cartagena have been great.
JK

[papi]

... in response to Re: Re: Re: Re: PL Rule #1 (Point B), posted by jediknight on Jul 24, 2005

Cali has more players but you can find them anywhere

[Calipro]

... in response to Re: Re: PL Rule #1 (Point B), posted by jediknight on Jul 24, 2005

OK, jedi

Flowers, a card and a box of choclate are ok if it's your way of expressing your affection for someone. I'd even let you buy her a CD if it has some favorite love song on it that you want her to hear. hehehe !!

I rarely go out with women that have kids but I did buy a nice christmas gift for the little girl of a woman I was seeing once.

[utopiacowboy]

... in response to Re: Re: Re: PL Rule #1 (Point B), posted by Calipro on Jul 24, 2005

They can say what they like on PBH - I think you've got a good heart. Don't worry - I won't tell anyone!

[papi]

... in response to Re: Re: Re: PL Rule #1 (Point B), posted by Calipro on Jul 24, 2005

i like the part about the cd with the love songs. good one cp. i think soletero and yu are 100% on the ball - error on the side of caution. i wish i had read this 4-5 years ago

[papi]

... in response to Re: Re: PL Rule #1 (Point B), posted by jediknight on Jul 24, 2005

JK, I think you are taking CP too literally or maybe his advice is a tad extreme.  I have also purchased small gifts and think that is OK like flowers, a blouse, etc.  But I think his point is well taken – he knows the ropes and many gringos end up spoiling these women who have no intension other than to milk unsuspecting gringos for money and gifts.  I remember a woman from Bogota I was briefly dating in CR.  She hardly would kiss me but was always asking for money.  One time she even asked me to buy her a cellphone.  I like CP's advice – it is a good rule of thumb and a great contribution to this forum