A cautionary tale.

[valuedcustomer]

I was driving home with my wife and we were listening to the Suzie Orman show on the car radio.  She is a talk show host that gives advice to people in financial trouble.  She was helping a man who was at the verge of bankruptcy and his wife had just left him.  He was a successful ad man in New York City and lost his job due to the 9/11 attack.  No matter what he did he couldn’t find a job and slowly started to go into debt.  His wife finally left him saying that she couldn’t stand to see him suffering looking at the computer all day for jobs.  Suzie said she didn’t believe this excuse and said his wife never protested or left him during the time he was accumulating debt.  She pressed the man for more information.  He then revealed that he was 54 years old and married and brought to the US a woman from Brazil.  He further said she left him only 2 days after she received her American Citizenship.  He also remembered when they were first married he noticed she wasn’t wearing his ring.  When he asked her she said “It’s only a ring”.  Suzie told the man that the reason he can’t find a job is because this woman destroyed his self confidence.  He always subconsciously knew she didn’t love him and this destroyed him psychologically.  Suzie advised him that the bankruptcy will give him a new start on life.  He should carefully write down all his good aspects and what he can provide for an employer.  With his new start and new self-confidence he will be able to get a job.  

[WS244]

... in response to A cautionary tale., posted by valuedcustomer on Jul 17, 2005

He should have dumped her A?? the first time she took off her ring. This had nothing to do with self confidence but rather he is a "wuss' in life, and now whining on national radio to another broad who wears also wears the pants.

[Pete E]

... in response to Re: A cautionary tale., posted by WS244 on Jul 17, 2005

I did some things I would consider "wuss."
I saw a friend of mine I had not talked to in about 12 years 2 weeks ago.I told him the story of why I was in Colombia and a little about my ex wife.When he learned that there was not even much sex he said "My God,I would have kicked her ass out so fast."
I would have thought I would have done that too.But I didn't.There is what we think,what we say,and what we do.What we do in a romantic situation is not the same at all because it is to a large extent directed by emmotions.Desire,fear and guilt come to mind.Anger can also be an emmotion that can overcome the others to get us to act.

Pete

[WS244]

... in response to Re: Re: A cautionary tale., posted by Pete E on Jul 18, 2005

Yes to 12 years ago, but at out age we now know better, unlike many of our younger contemporaries on this board.
ws

[doombug]

... in response to Re: A cautionary tale., posted by WS244 on Jul 17, 2005

n/t

[Pete E]

... in response to A cautionary tale., posted by valuedcustomer on Jul 17, 2005

Several themes running here.
First,in response to some post below about red flags and judgement.I have been there.I saw the red flags but didn't want to let her go so I hung in there.So there is judgement
and there is what we do.Sometimes we go against our judgement.
2nd,about this destroying his self confidence thats a stab at Psychology by somebody who isn't even a very good financial planner.She THINKS she is and lots of people believe her.She is a total idiot on real estate,but we are getting to a place where even she will be right.
3rd,it could be worse,he could be married to a Suzy Orman.
However I was told she is gay by someone who knows her,another financial planner who is not impressed with her abilities also.
I will admit she is a good motivational speaker if not a very good financial planner.If you are confident enough and have good presentation alot of people will listen to you.I particularly think her idea of always pay with bills so you can save your change is a real silly idea.No money is saved and you wrap lots of coins.And anybody who followed her real estate advice,a home is an expense and not an investment so put as little money there as possible would have missed the best opportunity to make money they will ever have in their lifetime.That one IS over the top now however.
Another lesson. If you got the wrong woman she will split at the first difficulty,or maybe just the first opportunity.
AND,I bet if we looked at what that guy has left of his money he could move to latin America,have a hot honey who will not leave,forget about needing a job,and need to put NO money away for old age care.He could live on his social security when he gets it and always have a younger woman around to take care of him.
Maybe I should write that book,living in Latina land as an alternative to normal struggling,planning for old age and putting up with ugly obnoxious chicas.
Got to be some guys around who need the message.This guy should have split BEFORE he depleted alot of his assets living in New York and looking for a job.
When the going gets tough the smart split.
Whats the point in spending your life saving so you can afford an old folks home??Duh,Duh,Duh,whats wrong with this picture?  

Pete

[doombug]

... in response to Red flags and bad financial planners, posted by Pete E on Jul 17, 2005

"Maybe I should write that book,living in Latina land as an alternative to normal struggling,planning for old age and putting up with ugly obnoxious chicas."

The idea is LONG overdue.

And, prime for the time.

I'd be eager to help with the draft, research, editing, and financing--if you're really up to the challenge (and obliging to assistance).  There is already an existing market for the material.  Though, more importantly, there's an untapped and unaware market that still sees AW's as the cream of the crop.

Peace, yo!

[Pete E]

... in response to Re: Red flags and bad financial planners, posted by doombug on Jul 17, 2005

Soltero who lives with me says I should write a book about my experiences.There have been some really interesting things I haven't went in to much here to protect peoples privacy and I guess that would be an issue with the book also.I guess I would have to revise it a bit so the persons would not be recognised.
Plus there is the whole idea of shopping in our highly talked about global marketplace for a romantic partner as well as the other things we now find they offer.
And the whole retirement idea,with an angle to the single guy.
I just cringe when Suzy Ormon goes through this whole thing why we need to save for old age care.She is right within her own little box but we can easily step out of that box.Even with $1000 a  month social security income you can live well and you will have no trouble finding a younger woman who will love to live with you and take care of your  every need.Beats the HELL out of ANY facility you might wind up in.For 20% the cost.Live like a king,not a inmate in an old folks home.
And on the whole saving for old age,pensions,ect.Huge changes are coming due to the cost of new medical options and the resulting longer life spans.Its going to turn EVERYTHING on its head.Its on the verge of bankrupting Generl Motors right now.
In Colombia you can buy FIRST CLASS medical insurance for about $90 a month.AND pre conditions are not a big deal because its a 2 tier thing.The first $25 is for basic coverage backed by the government anybody can get.The people who sell you the $65 upgrade are not too concerned about pre existing because the basic coverage will pick up alot of it.We will see.If I can get it about anybody can I think.With the upgrade insurance I can go to Imbanaco,a first class hospital with US trained doctors.I can  get an appointment the same day.Schedule a medical proceedure,how about 2 days from now?Emergency room?Walk right in,NO waiting.A far cry from what the locals get with the basic coverage,or the free clinics where its REALLY bad.
I know a lady who sells the insurance.I will sign up when I get back.
Particulary if you have big medical issues and no insurance you might consider Colombia.
I have HMO coverage in the US.Its good but will not pay for anything out of the US exept life threatening emergencies.
Do I miss the US?Sometimes.I am in the US now.I can live with a yearly visit very easily.

Pete

[Vetrun1457]

... in response to Re: Red flags and bad financial planners, posted by doombug on Jul 17, 2005

I want a Copy !

[doombug]

... in response to Re: Re: Red flags and bad financial plan..., posted by Vetrun1457 on Jul 17, 2005

Pete's got one of the greatest case examples of how to live outside the fold--despite being burned.  I think his story--his style--would even sell in the secondary Latin markets.  Everyone likes a pat on the back, and surely the Latinas would love to read how much more appealing (and not in just the physical sense) they are to many women elsewhere.

Americanized-Latinas and run-of-the-mill AW's wouldn't appreciate it much, though.  And maybe this is one of the reasons that such books are rare finds.  It'd take a nitch publisher to push it; one who didn't have reason to fear the feminist backlash.

[Pete E]

... in response to Re: Re: Re: Red flags and bad financial ..., posted by doombug on Jul 17, 2005

I have a friend who has written several books.He says everybody has a book in them.He is very organized and does that as well as running a full time consulting business.
I am not organized,but I have lots of time.
And I do like to write my thoughts,as you guys know.
HMMMM.

Pete

[doombug]

... in response to Encourage me some more, posted by Pete E on Jul 17, 2005

PL (and WLC, and any other forum you've visited) has already done the "organizing" for you.

The archives hold a major chunk of your story/opinion/advice/etc.

[CelticUrge]

... in response to Encourage me some more, posted by Pete E on Jul 17, 2005

To write that book you have inside you, it is probably best to find a good writer that you trust and respect as a co-author. Unless you yourself are a good writer. It can get done.

I have a friend in Nashville, TN that wrote a book "The Cheese Chronicles: The Story of A Rock and Roll Band You Never Heard Of." Proud of him. Took years and a toll on his life. But he overcame the deep religious burden from his father issues, laid out his heart and life for others to see. Produced several CD's (5 or 6 I think) through several bands over 10-15 years.

Don't assume yours will be the same type of story. Just trying to encourage you to take it seriously and move in the direction of making the committment and setting this as a long term goal to reach.

Keep all your notes and start organizing them.

[Pete E]

... in response to Re: Encourage me some more, posted by CelticUrge on Jul 17, 2005

Soltero keeps telling me,you should be taking notes.I tell him I have it all in my head.But I might forget something,so again he is right.

Peteb

[CelticUrge]

... in response to Re: Re: Encourage me some more, posted by Pete E on Jul 17, 2005

Then just start writing/typing those notes a few minutes each day. Get the habit, stick to it and soon you will have a wealth of information. What's 5 or 10 minutes a day?

Off to walk/play with the puppy.