On Hiatus

[cabocancun]

... in response to Re: When is it time to give up the searc..., posted by Looking4Wife on Jul 8, 2005

Must haves:

Compatible,beautiful,25 year old triguena with no kids who likes to dance.

I am flexible with the other stuff.

I have stepped my game up as much as possible:
I am now conversational in Spanish,and I have learned how to dance Salsa,Merengue,Cumbia and Veanato(Colombian women love Carlos Vives as much as Juanes).
I have learned how a Colombian woman likes a man to dress and I reside at the El Prado Hotel when in Colombia.

I would say I have noticed at least two weaknesses in my approach:
1. I often hesitate to approach a beautiful woman spontaneously.
For example,one day this beautiful woman was walking torward me on the sidewalk smiling at me (she had obviously identified me as a gringo)
and instead of talking to her, I turned around in a complete circle trying to figure out WTF she was looking at...
She started laughing and by the time I got a clue,she was half way down the block.
I should have ran after her and offered to buy her some helado.
 
I need to approach non-agency women.

2.My two week visits are not long enough.
Unfortunately,after two weeks I feel dehydrated and the multiple mosquito bites take a toll on my enthusiasm.

[Cali James]

... in response to Re: Re: When is it time to give up the s..., posted by cabocancun on Jul 8, 2005

I think an agency is probably your best bet especially when you're on a limited time budget.  Meeting outside the agency is great if you've had the time to develop a network of friends in the city you travel to but if you haven't done this, then I think it's a total crap shoot.  For example, you follow the hot babe at the mall, talk to her, invite her out a few times and then you discover she has absolutely no interest in leaving her country.  There went your two week vacation.  With the agency, the presumption is that the woman has at least considered this.  Your mall babe most likely has not.  

Also, think back to your dating habits in the States.  Typically guys date a lot of women before they find the woman they want to marry.  Why should it be any different in Colombia.  Guys shouldn't feel internal pressure to marry after a couple of weeks.  I personally think it's a good idea to date a lot of women and eliminating women quickly if they are not totally in to you or show signs that they may lack charactor for example.  Never waste time with maybe's, move on and meet new women.  When the right woman comes along you'll know it, don't second guess yourself on maybe's, wait for the real thing.  Also, it's easy to over-analyze the situation, we engineers like to do that, go to Colombia and have fun first and foremost, the rest will follow if it's meant to.

Good luck...

[CelticUrge]

... in response to When is it time to give up the search?, posted by cabocancun on Jul 8, 2005

Cabo:

I know virtually nothing about you as a person. You have been to the three beach cities and not found what you are looking for. For me, Bogota is my number one choice, for a variety of reasons. If you can go for several weeks at a time it greatly improves your chances of success. There are just many, many more people in Bogota, about 9M as I recall and about 7 universities, 2 large agencies that noone here slams and many things to do and see. If I were in your shoes, I would not give up but would consider a change of venue. After reading this board for a while I will return to Bogota and not go to Cali or Medellin. Although, if I were already in Bogota, I may take a few days to visit the other cities just to learn and determine if my initial choice was best for me.

Take an exercise to assist your search. Sit down with a pad and pen and start writing down every woman you have shown an interest in, her name, what happened, why it ended or never started, what worked, what did not work. Abbreviate, keep it simple. Usually when you make any attempt to quantify anyones relationships a pattern emerges. Find it, analyze it and fix it. When I did this about 10 years ago it became obvious to me that I really did not want a long term relationship. That has since completely turned around and I now even avoid short term sure things, or almost always!!!!!

Are you afraid to "pull the trigger" or have you just not met a woman that floats your boat?

Buena suerte.

[cabocancun]

... in response to Re: When is it time to give up the searc..., posted by CelticUrge on Jul 8, 2005


Good advice.
I am going to meet with a marriage and family counselor in California on Monday for "a check up from the neck up".
The counselor happens to be a Latina,so I interested in hearing her opinion on my current mental state.

[Cali James]

... in response to When is it time to give up the search?, posted by cabocancun on Jul 8, 2005

I'm not sure there is an exact time table for this.  I had made about 8 trips to Cali over 3 years sometimes staying months at a time before I met the person who would later become my wife.  I had dated lots of women, had had 3 prior novias and there were a couple of times I felt discouraged also but I kept going back.  I kept going back because Colombia is a great place to visit regardless of whether I found a wife.  Anyway, I wouldn't give up!

[papi]

... in response to When is it time to give up the search?, posted by cabocancun on Jul 8, 2005

I understand your frustration and I am very close myself to calling it quits.  My first novia from Cali lasted 2 years and lived with me in the US but I did not want to marry her.  My many travels south since then have not been productive.  I came close a few times and probably let a couple good ones slip through the cracks but live an learn.  I am considering another try or two – maybe BQ again.  I am also looking at maybe trying the East – Ukraine.  Never been there and I do find the look very attractive. Maybe consider another country or city you have not been too in Colombia. I have a website in Panama -if any of those girls float your boat maybe I can help you out on the house. shoot me an email if interested. my url is www.tropic-romance.com

[CelticUrge]

... in response to Re: When is it time to give up the searc..., posted by papi on Jul 8, 2005

One of my neighbors is from that part of the world and has family there. He is 50'ish, decent looking, loosing some hair, highly educated and intelligent, etc. Went back several years ago found woman who adores him, good looking, brought her back, married and living happily ever after. She is probably 40. Teenage daughter is stunning.

Anyway, he told me that yes there are many scams and you can easily get caught in Russia, baltic states, and Ukraine is one of the worst for scams. In his opinion, Romania is the hot spot for many reasons, most of which I don't recall but will ask again if you guys are interested. The country has the basic infrastructure that many people are educated, few men looking for connection in the country, and the area is headed downhill in the long run.

For me, I have no desire to even consider it. I have invested in Colombia, feel comfortable and confident in my decision and will continue my present course.

[fathertime]

... in response to Re: When is it time to give up the searc..., posted by papi on Jul 8, 2005

Howdy Papi,
If you have a curiosity for the Ukraine than I would suggest you take a look or you may always feel like you missed out on something.  I have taken one trip to Colombia and than one trip to Ukraine.  Now I feel like I have seen both sides and my informed preferance is now...drumroll.. Colombia hands down!!  There is beauty in both places but there are less scammers by far in Colombia.  You may need to see that for yourself.  The irresistable beauty of the Ukrainians is mostly just on the websites.  Going to the socials you will see a lot less of the beautiful people and many of the ones you do see will attempt a low level scam on you to separate you from a few of your hard earned dollars.  Overall it was a great experience on both sides of the world and although I  broke hearts in both places it seems that was how it had to be.
Fathertime

[papi]

... in response to Re: Re: When is it time to give up the s..., posted by fathertime on Jul 8, 2005

great post - and good advice. So the beauties are mostly just in the pics. And the others are generally scammers. i knew scamming is a big problem over there. i am taking another shot at BAQ - leave next week. I have some interest with someone in Panama but have not spent much time with her and she has a kid

[fathertime]

... in response to Re: Re: Re: When is it time to give up t..., posted by papi on Jul 8, 2005

PAPI
The socials had some very good looking girls present especially compared the typical U.S. scene for a mid 30's fella but the real stunners are generally unattainable.  Many, many guys were scammed on my trip to Ukraine.  These were guys who had a lot going for them either in the looks or  business success department but they were scammed and did not even realize it until the plane ride back to the states.  Depending on your criteria, you may find yourself satisfied with what you see.  I found what I would consider an excellent girl but that was very, very rare and I chose not to follow through.  Girls tried to run scams with me as well but my guard was up and they were generally thwarted.  
I look forward to a trip to Cali in the fall.  Now that I have seen Ukraine my mind will be at ease in Colombia knowing that this is as good as it gets!
Fathertime

[papi]

... in response to Re: Re: Re: Re: When is it time to give ..., posted by fathertime on Jul 9, 2005

what are the typical scams? were any guys successful finding someone? who did you go with - agency? what are the % of scammers? As I mentioned, I am off to BAQ this week but am curious with over there

[fathertime]

... in response to Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: When is it time to g..., posted by papi on Jul 9, 2005

Papi
I won't be able to remember all the scams although if you look through the East European archives I spoke of them all back in april. The one scam that stands out most is the interpreter scam in which the very attractive girl unexpectly brings here "Interpreter" because she suddenly can't speak good enough english despite the fact that she is advertised as being reasonably conversational.  Of course the interpreter is not free so at 10 dollars an hour for a 3 hour date the "Attracive girl" and interpreter just made 30 bones which I imagine is split after the poor clueless sucker is dispatched.  
I went with the group Anastasia.  The tour itself was well organized and the staff was polite.  The email system they have is complete BS and many guys spent 1000's of dollars corresponding with what they thought were  "interested babes" but in reality were either fat Ukrainian men or more likely the intrepreters employed by Anastasia.  Once the tour members started comparing notes with each other many were pissed but it was really too late to do much about all this.  
Despite all this there were matches made on the tour.  Not the October-Febuary matches they will make you think can occur.  Several men popped the question on the tour and gave rings to there babes.  The babes that were proposed to were not the goddesses you see on the site but in my opinion several notches beneath that in terms of physcial appearance.  Still attractive but not beauty queen material by any strech.  Just know all this before you spend your 5k grand which is about what it will take door to door.
Have fun at Baq and know that Colombia is where it is at!
See ya
Fathertime

[papi]

... in response to Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: When is it time ..., posted by fathertime on Jul 9, 2005

good advice. sounds like a place full of pitfalls. Off to BQ in a few days - hope to meet a lot of new hotties

[cabocancun]

... in response to Re: When is it time to give up the searc..., posted by papi on Jul 8, 2005

Thanks for the offer Papi.
I am going to sink or swim with Barranquilla.
I do not have the energy to look elsewhere.
There are easily 10,000 women in Barranquilla that meet my basic criteria ( beautiful 25 year old triguena with no kids who likes to dance).
When I am in Colombia,I always feel that success is just around the corner.
Sometimes,this search is just a matter of inches.
Inorder, for this thing to work for me,I need to feel the way that  Utopiacowboy feels about his wife.
I have seen many women in Colombia that have knocked me out with their beauty.
On three seperate occasions,I have received the Colombian woman stare down which means "come over here and give it your best shot" from a Colombian woman who I thought was a knock out.
One lady worked at the Decameron,one lady worked at a hotel in Barranquilla and the other lady was in the airport in Cartagena on her way to Europe.
On each occasion,I hesitated for various reasons and the opportunity was lost.
Sometimes,this process feels like trying to find a needle in a haystack.

Anyone else have that feeling sometimes?

[CelticUrge]

... in response to Re: Re: When is it time to give up the s..., posted by cabocancun on Jul 8, 2005

When you encounter one like you describe "pull the trigger" and give her your best shot. Don't hesitate. They won't drag you through the flames for approaching like an AW would do to you. Go for it.