Help! I am new and need guidance + direction

[panzercommander]

Hello all,

I have read about 40 or so posts, and i didn't see any faq or newbie look here posts, So here i go.

Basically I am a 31 yr single, never married male from Chicago, good job, live in a nice apartment, and am basically normal. Aside from being 6 foot 5 and having a little bit of a gut, i look average, to even handsome.

I would like to persue a possibly relationship into meeting an Asian woman either from Japan, China or PI. Again as a newbie, i don't know where to persue a REPUTABLE agency or if i am looking for the wrong thing.

I am Roman Catholic and wish to meet a nice Catholic woman. I have a couple of Philipinese aquantances and from what i can see, even the "Americanized women" are hard working, kind, nice, and sweet, unfortuantely every single one of them is married.

So if you could please post or email me some advise, i would be grateful for it. Thanks

Eddie

gaelic_summer@nospam.com

[Eman]

... in response to Help! I am new and need guidance + direc..., posted by panzercommander on Nov 18, 2001

Eddie -  I'm a relative newbie myself (and living in western suburbs BTW). At the moment, I'm pursuing the penpal method. I've worked with several agencies which provide addresses and have not had a problem with any of them, so I don't think the issue of a "reputable agency" is so critical at this point. Some are free (or semi-free), some charge, but basically they do what they say they will, which is provide addresses.
 Unfortunately the penpal thing is a bit of a crap shoot at the outset. You don't know who will or won't respond, and you don't know anything about who you are writing to. You might have a photograph of her but find that she actually looks much different. She might be sincere or a she might be a gold digger. I believe it needs to be treated as a numbers game. Write a minimum of 20 women, preferably 40 or 50. See what kinds of responses you get. If you find some you can correspond with, be patient and get to know them. Commit yourself to a lengthy process of building the relationship long distance.
 If you hang out at these message boards for a while you will hear plenty of horror stories from guys who rushed into relationships. The long-distance-love scene is full of pitfalls, but more from the women than the agencies. Procede with caution, but procede.

[Jeff S]

... in response to Help! I am new and need guidance + direc..., posted by panzercommander on Nov 18, 2001

Hi Eddie:

Welcome to the board. I've been married to a Japanese lady for some time. We were introduced by friends (it was before the internet.) A cross cultural marriage has an entirely different set of problems than a marriage to the girl next door, but most of us find these far more palpatable than those most of our friends and relatives seem to be going through. I really only know one filipina personally, she's married and a regular poster here, but do know lots of Chinese and Japanese people. It would be very rare to find a Chinese or Japanese Catholic, though there are some Christians (Protestant). If you're interested in learning some Chinese or Japanese language, philosophy, and culture, you could do well in either country, but if your main interest is in finding a loyal wife with the least amount of inherent cultural/language/religious differences, your best bet is probably the Philippines. Someone did a survey a while back of the married and engaged people on this board and about 50% were intriduced by friends, 35% met as pen pals or in chatrooms, and about 15% by chance meeting in the wife's country.

Other than an interest in Asian spouses, few of us share common traits. Posting on the board are people from all walks of life, all religions, all ages, a wide assortment of professions, educations, heights, weights, widely diverse travel experience, marital experiences, etc, etc.

Sorry, I can't give you any more specific information about exactly how to proceed, except to say, take it slowly. Most mistakes seem to happen when people put arbitrary time or money limits on their search. You see lots of posts by people who to know exactly how much money it will cost and time it will take. This to me is the height of arrogance, as if they're engaging in some sort of business relationship or construction project. Anyway, know that you're embarking on a great adventure. Treat it as such and if you enjoy the journey, the destination will take care of itself.

-- Jeff S.

[panzercommander]

... in response to Re: Help! I am new and need guidance + d..., posted by Jeff S on Nov 19, 2001

Jeff S, Thanks for the update. I will admit I am more attracted to japanese women, as well a Chinese. I find fair skin and small body's very sexy, as well as the concept of Honor. I must be realistic and be willing to accept her religion if i do look that way. Can you reccomend any sites with email, or such that i can look into and start cooresponding with Japanese as well as Chinese women.

Just to quench my thirst for knowledge, is it more intelligent to look for a woman my own age, or younger, or does it not matter. I am not sure of the socialogy of their countries and would like a deeper insight.

Thanks for your assistance, and Happy Thanksgiving to all.

PanzerCommander

[Dave H]

... in response to Help! I am new and need guidance + direc..., posted by panzercommander on Nov 18, 2001

Hi Eddie,

If your interested in a Roman Catholic woman, then the Philippines or Filipinas working overseas (Hong Kong, Singapore, etc.) will probably be your best bet. Over 90% of the population is Christian, of which around 80% are Roman Catholic. English is widely understood and spoken, to verying degrees. Many Filipinas are fluent in English, but often shy at first. Filipinas tend to be on the short side, although tall ones can be found. Several tall married ladies reside here on Planet-Love. Although they didn't marry very tall guys. ;o)) There are a half dozen or more 6'3"-6'5" men that post regularly on P-L. Some of the other guys and gals can recommend some reputable penpal clubs. I used an approach similar to what Ray suggested. Filipinas always seem to have friends or relatives interested in meeting a Western man. As you read the board and archives you will learn some red flags to watch out for. If you have any questions we usually try our best to answer them. We don't always agree, but most of us agree that it is worth the effort to pursue an Asian spouse.

Good Luck!

Dave H.

[panzercommander]

... in response to Welcome to P-L!, posted by Dave H on Nov 19, 2001

Thanks Dave!

[Ray]

... in response to Help! I am new and need guidance + direc..., posted by panzercommander on Nov 18, 2001

Welcome aboard Eddie!

Are you looking for a potential wife? My best advice would be to get to know some Filipino couples in your church if possible. When they know enough about you to trust you, ask them if they have any relatives or acquaintances back home that might be interested in corresponding with an American guy (that translates in Filipino to marriage). Give them a general outline of what you are looking for (age, character, etc.) and you may be surprised to find that most of them will know someone that fits. They will probably have photos also of some interested relatives. Try to get a few referrals this way if possible and see where it leads from there. This method will greatly improve your odds of finding a good Filipina for a potential partner.

If you use the mating companies that sell addresses, you take a bigger risk. I will let some others here recommend a source for purchasing addresses. Sorry, I don’t know much about Japanese or Chinese sources either, but there are some agency links at the left of your screen if you want to check some of them out.

Also, there is a wealth of information in the archives on this forum if you don’t mind reading through the fart jokes :-).  There is a link at the top of the page.

Good luck,

Ray