Update on Kented.

[Heat]

I know we all wish him the best of luck.

Keep the Faith Kented.

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Well, I have filed for my second divorce from a Latina. I guess there are the immediate causes which probably are unique to my situation.

(1) Alba is occasionally violent, five times in about ten months together. She can't hurt me but it's scary and a royal pain.

(2) This is a biggie. In 2004, she lived in CR waiting for her visa and I visited during my school vacations, March, July and October. In October she informed me that her 16 year-old daughter had been raped after I left in July. She also had lost her virginity and got pregnant. The word innocent victim was bandied about.

We’ll the due date was early set at March 3 (pointing to a June 3 conception) and the baby was born on March 21 by Cesarean at over 9 lbs, full term plus. Clearly she had gotten pregnant by having consensual sex and either lied to her mother or her mother lied to me.

I have long been #3 in her family and now I was #4 with all time, financial resources of my wife going to the grandchild. I had accepted him because I was lied to.

(3) My wife is beautiful, doesn’t run around, doesn’t waste my money. But she also wasn’t affectionate (hardly ever) and spends almost no time with me.

(4) My wife wasn’t a liar or stupid but she clearly never was able to understand my point of view on anything. For example once I said, “Alba, I love the fact the house is clean and that you always cook for me. But all I want in an affectionate wife who shown me love daily”. She said, “If you don’t appreciate my cooking or cleaning then I’ll stop doing it”. Just one example of a hundred over five and a half months.

The closest I can explain her mentality is that she has spent so much time protecting her family and struggling that she has an armor of hostility which she needed to protect her.

This won’t be like Nidia. Nidia wanted to get to the US any way possible. I hated Nidia but I don’t hate Alba. After a 24 week struggle, seeing an attorney was almost a relief. I now join Jun Fan and Honky Tonk in the perpetual party in Costa Rica. I’ll be there July 4 through 7, presumably for dental work but I may find time for some extra curricular activities.

[Kiltboy1]

... in response to Update on Kented.    , posted by Heat on Jun 19, 2005

I have to say, except for the lack of affection and  "DOES NOT WASTE MY MONEY" , it sounds just like my soon to be ex wife. She just never could understand our culture or want more then to protect herself or her son. She was abused by the father of her son and maybe others, who knows, but you are not alone. we just need to take more time next time. i really advise against  dating a woman that has had problems with her ex in a violent way. You could be  the most gentle man in the world, but she will never open up completely

[Heat]

... in response to Re: Update on Kented.    , posted by Kiltboy1 on Jun 19, 2005

You could be the most gentle man in the world, but she will never open up completely ""

Truer word were never spoken.  A girls father is also very important.  He is in effect her first boyfriend.  

If he is strong, sweet, affectionate and compassionate then she will respect those qualities.  

If he is an asshole then she will gravitate to that kind of man.

I think your problem was you were a nice guy and she did not know how to act with a guy who respected her and tried to love her.

I saw the same in my X wife.  she hide the abuse thing from me.

Very good point.