Guys/Gals
Well... well... well... A few days can make a dramatic difference. especially if you have help.
On Sunday a week ago I received an email from a fellow P/L'er who was in Manila to try and get his wife's visa straighted out. Any guesses? I'll give ya three...
I am trying very hard to make evreything make sense in my mind, but the problem is that everything is going on in my wife's mind, which I have yet to decypher.
For the record, here's what's gone on in the last week or so. I have been keeping this stuff to myself until everything shakes out, but now is as good a time as any to invite you all along on the roller coaster that I call my life :c)
Up until Art's email, which I will get to in a paragraph or thriteen ;c) I had begun to put the pieces of the puzzle together from talking to everyone that Ayesa knows, that I have contact with. The list is short, but was very informative.
From my conversations I have gathered that Ayesa's mother wasa the main author of the letters I recieved during our two year correspondence. I'm not sure yet, whether Ayesa ever wrote me a letter or even posted herself on 4everyoursDOTcom. I'm don't know if it was simply Ayesa, being impatient and not wanting to wait for replies, which sometimes took months through the beloved Philippine Postal Service, and her mother began simply by helping her or if Mommy Dearest concocted the whole plan herself, but i do know that there was immense family pressure placed on her to marry me. Was it because she was getting cold feet? Was it because she got impatient with how long the process was taking and grew bored? Because she had a boyfriend? Or because her parents wanted in to my pockets? I don't know, but I plan on finding out :c)
There are tremendous holes to fill in this story. I have had to make my own conclusions in many areas and everything is subject to change. I don't believe or disbelieve anything until Ayesa looks me in the eye and tells me herself. If she never does that, then I will never know for sure. I would not be very pleased if that were the result!
Thanksgiving SUCKED!!! Family everywhere. My cousins with their girlfriends and boyfriends. Everyone happy and having fun. And here I am days removed from hearing that my wife has no intentions of ever seeing me again and trying not to bring everyone down.
Sunday I recieved an e-mail from Bear with a subject line: I have found Ayesa. I was paralyzed. I am sitting there staring at the computer in disbelief, literally shaking. I didn't know whether to cry, punch a hole in the wall, faint or what. I was stunned! It took me a few minutes to work up the courage to open the e-mail. Honestly, I was anticipating and e-mail that said, "Howard, old friend... The rumors are true. Your wife wants nothing to do with you. She wants you to leave her ALONE!!!". That's not what it said.
Art has been careful to be very honest with me on this matter. He tells me what is aid and what he thinks, but doesn't color anything one way or the other. I truely appreciate his candor, compassion and honesty. If this marriage is saved, is Art's doing, not mine or Ayesa's. Well, initially anyway. He said they had a meeting at 4pm at a neutral location.
I was on pins and needles! I was and am trying not to get too excited about all of this, but am trying to not be too pesimistic either. One way might kill me, the other might kill the relationship. It's a tight, tight rope to walk!
Ayesa did not show up at the meeting and Art was pretty pissed at her. I was too. To inconcenience him like that made me a little upset, but he took everything in stride and so did I. He said that he was going to call her aunt and give her a piece of his mind for blowing him off and wasting his time like that, short as his stay is there! And I said, go for it! I like Art, he's tactful and kind, but don't try and take advantage of him!
When he talked to Ayesa's aunt--her real Aunt. Linda is Ayesa's mother's sister--she told him that Ayesa did want to come home but she was afraid to call me because she needed more money and I had been so generous already. Art told her that is she was serious, that he and Honey would like to make another appointment to meet with Ayesa to try and talk to her. NOt to talk her into or force her to do anything, but at the very least to get some answers for me. They made an appoint for 2pm the next day.
Again the pins and needles. Again, nothing. At least this time Linda called Art, or when Art called Linda to confirm, I'm not sure exactly which is the case, he was told that Linda couldn't get her there--they were meeting at Linda's office, where she works, the only place she has good access to a phone--and that they would like to try and do it the next day at 4pm.
Pins and needles... pins and NEEDLES! God! At that point I WISH I had a needle, preferably Heroine!!! But, I digress :c)
Art suggested that it wouldn't hurt if I called Linda myself and gave me her number at work. After School last night, I wated up as long as I could--'til about Midnight-- and decided to call and thank Bernadette for her help.
"Bernadette? She's no home right now..."
I decided to call Linda and just tell her myself that I would like to talk to my wife and to thank her for being so supportive of Ayesa. The picture being painted to me is that Linda is the only one she trusts right now. I don't know what's going on with her parents, if her cousin is just a "crab", or what the real story is and I won't until Ayesa gets home, if that's what she decides to do.
At 4am this morning, 4pm in Manila, I got a phone call from my wife. Just recounting it for you now, is bringing tears to my eyes. We talked for a little while, I asked her alot of questions, she answered most--I didn't ask anything that tough on the phone. She said that she wanted to come home--meaning here--but that she was ashamed to cost me anymore money. I told her that she was more more important to me than any amount of money! And that she should never be afraid of asking me for anything. I reminded her that I am her husband and she replied that she knew that already. I told her that Art would take care of anything that she needed and that I would reimburse him. I asked her again if she's sure she wants to come home and she says that she is.
I talked to Art for a while and told him that I would wire him whatever he gave her immediately and obviuosly thanked him profusely for his tireless efforts! The plan was that he would meet her at the airport and take care of any taxes or expenses that were standing between her and a flight home, but Art will be out of Manila on business when Ayesa has planned to try and book the flight, so he just gave her the money she said she needed.
Art said she seemed very sincere and I must admit the tone of her voice was that of a lost child expecting to be scolded rather than embraced. She was very apologetic in her tone. It was very good to talk to her! I didn't just let her off the hook, but I wan't a jerk either. I just want this to be settled one way or the other, yelling at her on the phone, or in person for that matter, won't accomplish anything at all.
One thing I can say for my wife is that she has never lied to me. Maybe there have been things she has chosen not to tell me, maybe I haven't asked some of the questions that I should have, but she has never given me a reason to doubt the things that she does tell me.
Art and I agreed that I am alot closer to an answer than I was a week ago. If she takes the money and runs, then I know it was a last gasp effort to get more money out of me. If she ends up here, then I know she was telling the truth, no matter how little sense it makes to me. Either way it's money well spent.
So that's where I stand right now. I am being guarded in my optomism and know that just ny her return our problems are not solved. I have decided how I want to approach helaing our marriage, if that's what's in the cards and figure that if it is nothing mor ethan a scam, she'll tire more quickly of the new proactive Howard. What do I hope to gain? I hope to first gain the truth and then some peace of mind. Heck, hapiness may still be in the cards! I have learned not to read into anything. I have done everything that I can and more. Art has been a true blessing in disguise! I never counted on having that ace in the hole!
It's my wife's move. No matter what she chooses, I hope for her and myself, that's it's the right one.
Faith? I'm gonna wait and see what happens :c)
Hows that for drama?
H
