My 2 cents about learning Spanish

[zack]

[This message has been edited by zack]

I was reading the posts below about the importance of learning Spanish for this endeavor. Jamie asserts that learning spanish is "not a critical requirement" and "won't hinder your success." This IS true for some people. I know a man who has been married to a Latina for several years and he still doesn't speak Spanish. She was so motivated to learn English that he "never saw the need." It worked for them.

However, to those newbie gringos who don't know Spanish, let me assure you that although learning Spanish may not be a requirement for some people, it will help you TREMENDOUSLY to learn it. My first Colombian novia was a Calena, six years ago who spoke NO English. At the time I spoke only a little Spanish. I can't tell you what a pain in the ass it was, not to mention expensive, to always have a translator around, if not a lap-top computer translator. I wanted to take her to elegant restaurants and such but I also wanted some PRIVACY. I had no choice but to bring the lap-top computer with us to the restaurants just to communicate with her. Even with the lap-top we still couldn't understand eachother completely.

Is learning Spanish a requirement? No. Will it be a huge and expensive pain in the ass if you decide not to learn it? Hell yes.
The bottom line is, don't let your lack of Spanish prevent you from getting on the plane. Just know what you're in for if you decide not to learn Spanish or to just study it half-ass.

Zack

[Malandro]

... in response to My 2 cents about learning Spanish, posted by zack on Apr 30, 2005

people who don't speak Spanish say its not so bad to live in ignorant bliss.  You can easily figure out who does and who does not simply on the position one defends.

there cerainly is a comfort level in speaking the language though.  not having to pay for a translator is certainly a benefit in itself.

I would love to hear some stories from translators on these courtships.  Novels could be written.    humorous, salacious, disgusting all at the same time.

i remember a guy on this board who did not speak Spanish and did not use a translator indicated to his date that he had to go to the bathroom by pointing at his penis.  needless to say, the interpretation differed from the original intent.

[Jamie]

... in response to People that speak Spanish say it is impo..., posted by Malandro on May 2, 2005

“people who don't speak Spanish say its not so bad to live in ignorant bliss.”

I never heard someone say this on this board?

I will say I have seen many, many men come down on their own who speak very little Spanish, if any, and will not use a translator. Girls will call us and say they don’t understand him and will we help, but we can’t because the man chooses not use a translator. So without a doubt you have both men and women accepting such ignorance and it is almost with certainty once they do start to understand each other they may not like what they learn. Part of the problem as has been discussed here before is most men don’t plan or budget their trip. So they come down to meet one girl on fairly quick notice but realize they don’t have funds to cover their trip properly once they arrive. I’ve literally had to help guys pay the departure tax and ride to the airport and now that I think about it part of there hotel bill too. Guess who never gets paid back.  These are guys pretty much doing it on their own with little help or knowledge of what to do. When it comes to women many men are impulsive.

Engage the Exotic – Latin Women
http://International-Introductions.com

[Malandro]

... in response to Consequence follows conduct, posted by Jamie on May 2, 2005

[This message has been edited by Malandro]

You probably never heard anyone say it that way until now.  but this discussion comes up every so often and predictably, the non-Spanish speakers defend their position and the Spanish speakers express skepticism.  

but regarding translators, You are right.  I doubt many men factor  that into the price of their trip.  How much are they per day?  $20 $30??   I don't know, I'm sure you do.

and add the cost of dinner and drinks for the translator with the hotel and agency tour and paying for all the girls you date and you are talking a good chunk of change for a week visit.  I imagine that men who use an agency tour are spending about $2500 to $3000 including airfare for a week long Colombian adventure.  

now there is nothing wrong with visiting Colombia without much knowledge of Spanish.  better yet, live there.  you have to crawl before you walk.   but some preparation before hand like taking a few classes certainly will go a long way.

[Jamie]

... in response to its been said many times before, posted by Malandro on May 2, 2005

It’s not the guy spending the big money that runs out. It’s the guy going down solo normally just to meet one girl that doesn’t ask any questions and just shows up and then finds out he needs help but can’t cover for it.

Most guys using a high end service are going to be spending 4-5k on a typical stay for everything. Now one can budget this down even using a high end service but the majority of my client request upgrades they spend more.

Engage the Exotic – Latin Women
http://International-Introductions.com

[Jamie]

... in response to My 2 cents about learning Spanish, posted by zack on Apr 30, 2005

Zack you made some good points.
However, I’ve never found a translator to be a third wheel because they always became friends. Yes it is more expensive versus not speaking Spanish if you had no opportunity cost in learning Spanish. But the cost of taking your date and a translator to a Colombian restaurant is still less expensive than taking your American date to an American restaurant. Good or bad most guys spend less than 3 weeks in Colombia before the woman moves to the States. A translator for this stay is a manageable expense.
Again this is a personal decision. Your advice is valuable. What I have been primarily objecting too is the insistence that if you don’t speak Spanish your wrong, offensive and don’t respect your wife.

Engage the Exotic – Latin Women
http://International-Introductions.com

[zack]

... in response to Good Advice, posted by Jamie on Apr 30, 2005

Jamie,

Is your wife's family upset that you haven't learned Spanish? Be honest. What about your wife? I'm not attacking you. It's just hard for me to imagine a Latina and her family not caring about about this. I'm just curious. My novia and her family would be offended to say the least if I decided not to study Spanish.

Zack

[Jamie]

... in response to Re: Good Advice, posted by zack on May 1, 2005

"Is your wife's family upset that you haven't learned Spanish? Be honest. What about your wife?"

I’ve noted in the past that not only my wife but no woman I have ever dated that spoke Spanish ever suggested that I learn Spanish. But of course I didn’t know any Spanish at the time so when I was nodding to the gibberish that was coming out of their mouths I might have been agreeing to learn Spanish

(Jake that is a joke, I am sorry that I can’t warn you in advance but that would ruin it for the others.)

The majority of men that use our Personal Introductions service do not learn Spanish beyond the basic words we all pickup from being around a Spanish novia nor have I ever heard of any problems with this. I have only seen problem where the woman was not learning English while awaiting her visa in Colombia.

My situation is unusual, Karina’s mom objected to me seeing Karina from the very beginning and Karina did so behind her mom’s back so she has never supported Karina’s decision or me. The father is in his 90’s and doesn’t say much. I’ve told Karina if I ever become a wall fixture at the dinner table poison me. I am sure all families would like to have the family member directly communicate with each other. But the short amount of conversation that would take place over a year would not justified the time and effort for me to personally want to learn if I were living in the U.S full time. But that is me, I am not requesting anyone to be like me.

Engage the Exotic - Latin Women
http://International-Introductions.com

[Gary Bala]

... in response to My 2 cents about learning Spanish, posted by zack on Apr 30, 2005

From the visa cases I have done over the years for
U.S. gentlemen and Latinas, the couples who possess
at least some mutual language skills stand a much better
chance of long-term relationship and marriage success.

Language literally shapes our vocabulary, values and world view.
It is the first thing we learn from our mothers and why what we
speak is called our "mother tongue".  I am convinced that you
cannot truly appreciate another person's culture, lifestyle and
world without some appreciation and skill in the language,
and, in my view, this kind of mutual communication and
appreciation is vital for long-term success with couples.

In short, IMO, best for us guys to learn some Spanish.
In the short term, it's highly desirable, allowing the guys
to meet more marriage prospects and bettering the chances
for finding a suitable match, and in the long run, it's probably
vital for long-term relationship success.

Good luck.

[zack]

... in response to Re: My 2 cents about learning Spanish, posted by Gary Bala on Apr 30, 2005

"From the visa cases I have done over the years for U.S. gentlemen and Latinas, the couples who possess at least some mutual language skills stand a much better chance of long-term relationship and marriage success."

Thanks Gary. I was hoping someone would give some facts to support my opinion.  I wanted to assert that although learning Spanish isn't a requirement, not knowing Spanish probably WILL hinder your chances of success. Just because it worked for Jamie and some others doesn't mean that it won't hinder one's chances of success, generally speaking.  

Zack

[Jamie]

... in response to Re: My 2 cents about learning Spanish, posted by Gary Bala on Apr 30, 2005

"Language literally shapes our vocabulary, values and world view. It is the first thing we learn from our mothers"

Well now I see the reason for my error the first thing I learned was where the food was

Engage the Exotic - Latin Women
http://International-Introductions.com

[beenthere]

... in response to Re: Re: My 2 cents about learning Spanis..., posted by Jamie on Apr 30, 2005

Studies show that babies' basic language skills can be shaped while they are still in the womb...
It is a fact that when mothers constantly talk (and sing) to their unborn children, those children begin to talk at an earlier age, and have better communication skills (both verbal and written) when they are older.

[Jamie]

... in response to you're wrong again Jamie, posted by beenthere on May 3, 2005

you couldn’t recognize the smiley face?

I am familiar with such studies.

By the way did you and Jake go to the same school?

Engage the Exotic-Latin-Women
http://International-Introductions.com

[Chris F]

... in response to My 2 cents about learning Spanish, posted by zack on Apr 30, 2005

And lets not forget your new girlfriend's family.....my Spanish is far from perfect...but I am very thankful for studying the language enough to be able to communicate some with her family.

I could not imagine going to spend time with her family and not being able to communicate with anyone in the room?

I have heard of this horror story several times from other gringos who regreted not taking the time to learn the language. Its bad enough you cant talk to your new girlfriend...now your with the whole family...and everyone just sits around smiling at one another because of the langauge difference.....

As most of you know...I met my fiancee in Peru. At the time, she did not speak one word of English....if I did not take the time to study some Spanish years before this...I doubt we would be together right now.....

Going back to what I mentioned before in a previous post, I am sure Okieman and Looking4wife are probably great guys with good hearts ready to give that special latina....but in my opinion they made a mistake by spending way too much time on Planet Love for over six months asking a million questions and over analizing every aspect of latinas when they could have been using all that time to study the language before they took their trip.

I dont want to hear that it is hard to study Spanish from anyone......Spanish is one of the easier languages to learn. Your future wife from South America has to learn English which is the third hardest language learn....she is the one that has her work cut out for her.

The reason I studied the language because when I joined this board almost four years ago to learn more about this process, guys here were telling me how important it was to study the langauge.......

I listened to their advice and took the time to study the language before taking my first trip......and they were right.

So to all the newbies once again out there...ARE YOU LISTENING???

[Malandro]

... in response to Re: My 2 cents about learning Spanish..s..., posted by Chris F on Apr 30, 2005

Arabic, Russian, Chinese, Japanese, Korean, Basque, Hungarian, Polish, and German are harder.  

English is relatively easy for a Spanish speaker as is Spanish for an English speaker compared to the above mentioned ones for either.