Mog,
You may or may not remember that I went through something very similar.  I am very sorry to hear how things are going for you and completely understand how you feel.  Trust me I do
My ordeal happened right after Larry's (Shadow).  I'll never forget as Larry was telling his story about his fiancee and how the stress led to his mother's passing, I thought to myself "yeah... at least I have my mother." who was one of my closest friends.  Not in a Norman Bates way, in a single mother/only son way
On May 8th 2002 my divorce was final.  Actually I got an annulment because I felt mislead in the relationship.  Obviously, there was sufficient evidence to support that claim.  The judge was a total BIOOOOOTTTTCCCCCHHHHH.  It's was like she was pissed at me for not being humiliated by one of my own kind.  She argued with me in front of a court full of people and basicly called me a liar in my compliant, even though my wife conceded that everything in the complaint was true in an affidavit.  I was so furious that my lawyer grabbed my arm under the table and dug his nails into my forearm to get me to shutup.  The idiot judge went back into her chambers for a while to read up on Annulment, because she had never done one before, and come out with an "Ohhh... I see that you doo qualify... NEXT!"  I left that courtroom feeling like the biggest waste of space on the planet.  I remember thinking "It CAN'T get any worse than this!"
Don't EVER say that!
On May 19th my mother died of congestive heart failure.  No one had a clue it was coming, least of all me.
I am giving you the short version, because all of this should be in the archives.
Anyway, I must admit I made MANY mistakes in choosing and marrying my first wife.  Even though my friends, here and in real life, wanted to make me the saintly victim, in hindsight I defintely had made bad decisions which were my crosses to bear.  No pun intended Art
LOL
One of my many mistakes was to not listen to Ray.  I was writing several nice girls when I decided why not look for the hottest wife possible?  I deserve it right?  Well I got what I deserved!
Mainly, I was just SO determined to get married that I pushed past several red flags that I was too inexperienced in Filipino culture to notice.  I saw red flags when she got here prior to the wedding and was too proud to call a halt to things because I didn't want to be embarrassed.  THAT was a wise decision! Â
Luckily for me this story has a happy ending.  I made many good friends through the expirience, one of which ended up becoming my real wife.  The wife I always dreamed of having.  The wife all my friends privately tell me they are envious of me for having.  The wife that is my partner in every way.  The wife that has become my bestfriend and that will raise the children we that have with me.
Secret to my success?  My wife chose me :P  These last two years have absolutely been the happiest of my life!
My advice?
1)  Follow Ray and Bear's advice.  If she wants out, don't make yourself crazy trying to keep something you obviuosly never had. Â
2)Â Â Someone else said something I really agreed with, I think it was Johnie, "No one can talk someone into leaving someone they truly love"Â Â How can youa rgue with that?
3)  If you find, like Keith and I did, that everything except your choice in wife was correct about your decision to marry someone from the Philippines, then you should look there again with your expirience as your guide.  I never regret looking for a Filipina.  I only regret marrying the wrong one the first time.
4)  Girls from Mindanao, especially from my adopted home in Davao, are just better :P  That's kind of an inside joke from us old timers and I am VERY biased :P  Seriously though, even though I know wonderful women from all over the Phillipines, wives of friends and so on, there is something special about the women from Mindanao! Â
5)Â Â Just about everyone's wife on here has a friend for you :PÂ Â My wife has more than one and I can personally guarantee that a couple would make you deliriously happy, as long as you're a nice guy who is at least as normal as I am :PÂ Â So, okay.... as long as you're a nice guy :PÂ Â LOL
When I was down, I was WAY down, but now I tell everyone who has an interest, I wouldn't reccommend doing things the way I did, but everything I went through led me to my Gerlie.  If I had known I'd end up with her I could have suffered a little more
KEEP THE FAITH!
If you want to talk privately, just email me.  Keith and I shared a lot of misery getting through his thing and I am always willing to try and help a fellow traveler
Good Luck and Godspeed!
H
