A lot of guys are starting to fight back .....and are being quite brutal about it.
https://m.facebook.com/groups/1437453769862041?view=permalink&id=2671920706415335
I actually linked into fb and google just to look into this a bit. Read most of that 69 page manifesto by Vilas, surprising even myself by getting past 'Breaking them in' and the 'sex' portions. Looked at it and the backsplash all this has created (at least online) and I'm sort of amazed and at the same time, feeling removed.
That one group of 4000+ members and other inherents, offshoots involved, have certainly been painted with some nasty stripes by the community at large. Accusations and other attention there don't surprise me.
Maybe it's because I've been out of the dating game so long and I have it pretty damn good now, but I don't wanna wave the flag for anybody. I mean, I've been thru divorce, with children and property, (the system) but personally I don't have a dog in this fight. I'm not gonna waste my time and energy gnawing on this bone, ruminating over whatever others view as their 'state of affairs.'
I'm sure there's people of many types involved here, be they 'members' if you will, but I just thought there's gotta be a whole lot of losers and malcontents therein, that a lot of these guys were (are) fellas who signed on the line after courting (marriage) only to see things go bad and boy, are they SORE!
There's surely single guys who've been repeatedly frustrated too--welcome to the club.
What I mean is: nobody held a gun to their heads. Nobody is made to join The Marines either.
Personally I love the differences between male and female--between spouses--the 'yin and yang'--the Mars and Venus mysteries that differ the genders. Sometimes they exasperate me, but more often I'm laughing in my head. The way those differences work seem to work a whole lot better for Me with women from where my wife comes from, but then again, I was married 14 years to a woman from there the 1st time and it was a disaster, so it's not down to the nation, it's the individual woman. The woman you CHOOSE. With the 2nd wife, I got more of the better aspects of her nation's culture, and there are attractive aspects from that culture that are not as strong or common among 99.9% of USA females.
Bringing a bride here from there, especially as the years go by, will tell you just how deeply ingrained those better aspects are or aren't. Life in the USA changes people, so choose wisely.
Because here, there or anywhere, your mileage will vary...
I'm as Alpha as I want to be in my 2nd marriage and that's simply understood. Accepted. It was not like that the first time. I do not have a lot at risk financially, although her 'attentions' are precious to me. She takes care of me like a King. I don't have 'my ass out there' too far vulnerability wise in a material sense.
But there's a certain reality then and now, that could be seen as undeniably utilitarian in our USA based marriage. We're still for going on 20 years (when you include the close to 5 years after we met before marriage) We're still bat$h!t crazy about ea other. But I know people who divorced after 40, even 50 years.
Nothing is forever. Then again, waiting for doom is futile.
But what some might call (define as) our "roles" in life & marriage, I say our roles involve our dreams and hopes and that if you're on the same page there and need/involve ea other, that's very good.
Some might look at my marriage and in a scientific way compare ea of us to 'tools' and categorize me as a 'tool that enabled my wife to move abroad, work and help her family.
She did just so and does still work and like I say: "That's her money." It so happens she's taken the work opportunities the USA has given her and tangibly, materially done things like (bought) us a 2nd house, paying many ongoing bills since day one and just simply added plu$ value to my existence, heart and purse. Financially, physically and mentally, all place her soundly in the plus column of my life thus far.
It's not lost on me that having two incomes makes things work better, but that in a way, it's good that we still 'need ea other' to fulfill dreams. She might quit work after a few more years, we'll see--that'd be nice, after all, we have a ton of places we want to and hopefully will do and see.
But right now the symbiosis is pretty good.
When you don't feel in your heart or mind that you "need" someone, then that's the time to start looking for where the exit signs are. As she said today, our feelings of love might waver from day to day, even minute to minute, but that's where "commitment" comes in and keeps us going. I thought that was pretty cool.
But honestly, I couldn't really recognize those guys in the link and related info. Far from being an activist or ready to wave their (or anybody's) flag, I found myself feeling a bit sorry for them. I can't help but think that most of those guys made bad decisions. Yes, the 'pickins' could be better female wise, but you make your choices and take your chances. You get a bad horse that bucks you, you get back on and make it right or you get a new one. Pissing and moaning isn't gonna change a whole lot. I have made mistakes too and paid the price accordingly. Still riding though.
