Possible bone-headed mistake... One or two?

[Isthis4me]

I signed up for LAC, and used a separate email account.  I thought that it might be a good way, to  help avoid any potential problems.  After this, I started communicating with some of the women using their service. One of the women I was chatting with asked me to communicate with her via email and sent me her address.  So i agreed and sent her an email using the seperate account. Possible mistake #2?

Now for mistake #1 - After I sent her the email, I happened to glance at the details of my email address and guess what, there was my full name first and last. I immediately changed the last name.

Then came a couple of possible red flags. First off, her reply to my email was lengthy and seemed genuine except that she stated that she was in the UK studying while her profile said she was from Brazil. Ok, I can understand that, I guess, but it kinda sat wrong with me.

The second red flag,  and the one I consider might be the biggest, is that her profile is already gone from LAC.

I've read enough here, to know I probably goofed it up by sharing my full name in setting up that email. Now, I wonder if I should just drop her,  move on, and delete that email address for a new one.

Any thoughts or suggestions?

[ag1987]

I haven't used LAC, but my recommendation would be that anyone you meet online and start chatting with, if they meet enough of the "non-negotiables" you desire by reading their profile answers (e.g. children/no children, smoker, etc.), then ask to move conversation to Skype, Viber, WhatsApp, etc. You can quickly filter out any fakes before you become emotionally invested. You don't want a pen pal on e-mail. You can make an e-mail that you use for the dating sites. Probably a good idea so you do not get too much spam in your personal that you use daily.


With that being said, be clear if you aren't able to meet them in person for ___ months due to X, Y, Z. Women would likely move on quickly as they likely aren't looking for a "keyboard Romeo", either. I'd imagine plenty of guys chat women up promising them the world and then never get on a plane. It makes it only harder for those who follow...I have even heard of ridiculous examples of men whom have asked the woman to pay for the airfare...

[Elexpatriado]

Dont be paranoid no.mistake..if someone sends you junk mail just send it to spam..I get all kinds of crap there but she sounds like a flake although sometimes genuine women have crap in their profile..

But her being in London does you no good.Just tell her that. DONT waste time.

Ir you are going to BAQ concentrate on women in BAQ and send them.the mesage first
 Just delete  all.other unsolicited mensajes.Dont waste your time.That is the big mistake you made.Why would hoy be interesed in someone in London or Brasil?

[robert angel]

Did she say, or make it sound like she was communicating with you FROM Brazil? If a foreigner is in the UK, they'd almost always be all about telling you that right up front. Otherwise, that'd be a big red flag. Did she say she was getting OFF the LAC site to become exclusive with you? Anywhich way, it sounds weird. .....

[Isthis4me]

Thank you, Elexpatriado. I wasn't trying to be paranoid, I promise. I just am not that good with computers so I was worried that someone could use m just my name to cause me problems.

I don't want to go to London and I will tell her that shortly.

And yes,  I really do need to concentrate on BAQ, for now.

No, robert angel, she was up front about being in London.  I don't know why she canceled her profile. I'm probably just being too cautious,  but a lot of posts have stated that we should trust our guts. So far no one mentioned anything about being exclusive.

Like I said,  I probably am being too cautious,  but I do want to find someone to marry. The right one, or at least the one who won't do me dirty.

[Wildstubby]

While it would be easy to post specific stories, I decided to just post the URL from the Internet Wayback Machine to the old Colombiahelp. com blog. The admin there wrote about many of his experiences there, (I also have a story or 2 there myself). But it is good reading for anyone going to either date or visit in Colombia. Plenty of expectations in the tea (coca?) leaves.

https://web.archive.org/web/20160330184123/http://colombiahelp.com:80/dating-2/dating-in-colombia/

[Researcher]

I always used the nickname: Wealthy Big Penis. Just in case her English was sketchy.

[Isthis4me]

Awesome nickname. I bet you attract a few with that alone.

I decided to keep the address. I emailed her back and told her that England was too far from me,  but I would be willing to stay in friendly contact if she wanted to. I didn't want to burn any bridges until it became necessary.

Thank you all for the input.

[Researcher]

Awesome nickname. I bet you attract a few with that alone.

I decided to keep the address. I emailed her back and told her that England was too far from me,  but I would be willing to stay in friendly contact if she wanted to. I didn't want to burn any bridges until it became necessary.

Thank you all for the input.

That is a good approach but keep in mind once you consider women outside your own country your options are multiplied exponentially. When I realized this I became really picky. Unless there is something very special about this woman I would not worry about burning bridges. Just my 2 cents.

[Elexpatriado]

That is a good approach but keep in mind once you consider women outside your own country your options are multiplied exponentially. When I realized this I became really picky. Unless there is something very special about this woman I would not worry about burning bridges. Just my 2 cents.

Yep..  you will forgot her in a very short time.

Keep in mind a lot of these women would have no problem wasting your time and "ghosting" you if there is no immediate benifits for them.

For all you know she has a British husband and getting bored and you are one of her several.prospects in her "monkey branching"  program.

Forget your "Nice Guy"programing. You should be the one reading Calipros books. For a guy like WS its way  too late , it will only confuse him.

Colombian women are guilty until.proven.innocent.
.

[Researcher]

Yep..  you will forgot her in a very short time.

Keep in mind a lot of these women would have no problem wasting your time and "ghosting" you if there is no immediate benifits for them.

For all you know she has a British husband and getting bored and you are one of her several.prospects in her "monkey branching"  program.

Forget your "Nice Guy"programing. You should be the one reading Calipros books. For a guy like WS its way  too late , it will only confuse him.

Colombian women are guilty until.proven.innocent.
.

Calipro has books?

[Isthis4me]

Ok. I'll try to remember to get over the 'Nice Guy' programming. It's deeply ingrained though.

I am reading The Rational Male. It makes a lot of sense, and even though I'm only about 1/3 through it, I can already see it describing a lot of my past relationships. It has shown me concepts of social programming that I never realized existed.

[Researcher]

Ok. I'll try to remember to get over the 'Nice Guy' programming. It's deeply ingrained though.

I am reading The Rational Male. It makes a lot of sense, and even though I'm only about 1/3 through it, I can already see it describing a lot of my past relationships. It has shown me concepts of social programming that I never realized existed.

It is good that you are looking into the way societies look at masculinity. Different cultures see it in different ways. To me this is just window dressing. Real and true masculinity comes from biology. I do not see how any man from an overly feminized culture could ever survive a relationship with a latina. With a latina a man has to have a spine otherwise he gets chewed up and spit out.

[Elexpatriado]

It is good that you are looking into the way societies look at masculinity. Different cultures see it in different ways. To me this is just window dressing. Real and true masculinity comes from biology. I do not see how any man from an overly feminized culture could ever survive a relationship with a latina. With a latina a man has to have a spine otherwise he gets chewed up and spit out.

Thats an understatement..but also a generalization..not all Latinas are cut from the same cloth..


If being a nice guy is having compassion, morals and ethics..well..sometimes its better to just be a nice guy..and part ways with someone who has a different outlook on life ....as early as possible..you cant fix "broke"

[Isthis4me]

Thanks again, everyone. This is all very new to me, and a learning process for sure. However, it's a process that I intend to take part in. It's time I stood up for myself, and make a few decisions based on my likes, wants,  and needs instead of just doing what I'm told.

[utopiacowboy]

It is good that you are looking into the way societies look at masculinity. Different cultures see it in different ways. To me this is just window dressing. Real and true masculinity comes from biology. I do not see how any man from an overly feminized culture could ever survive a relationship with a latina. With a latina a man has to have a spine otherwise he gets chewed up and spit out.

You have to be pretty ruthless. My wife hears the word No a lot more often than she hears the word Yes. Nevertheless she is always happy when i give her $50 to go play bingo.

[robert angel]

Once she loses respect for you, you're toast. And you're not getting it back.

[Elexpatriado]

Once she loses respect for you, you're toast. And you're not getting it back.

It works both ways...

[Isthis4me]

I learned the hard way about her losing respect, and then I fell into the pattern of trying to get it back, for years, with no luck. She had the power, at that point, and would usé that against me whenever she would be on the wrong side of a disagreement.

[Wildstubby]

Isthis4me said:

I learned the hard way about her losing respect, and then I fell into the pattern of trying to get it back, for years, with no luck. She had the power, at that point, and would usé that against me whenever she would be on the wrong side of a disagreement.

Chalk it up as lesson learned. One thing to remember, especially about Colombia: there are plenty out there that can satisfy the 'eye'. Its subject to conjecture how many are out there that fit the rest of the criteria you desire! Very rarely do you find one that you can check-off all the boxes. Which ones you can do without and what criteria you bring for her are all part of the mix.

[robert angel]

And screw it when something goes wrong and she puts out an 'ultimatum'---if you give in, that's just the start of a slide down a long, slick slope, coated with chili oil.

I occasionally give ultimatums,  but 99.9 % of the time, a simple "NO" is OK. Besides, she asks permission for almost everything--having lunch out during the week with coworkers, getting together with girlfriends,  even before going to the supermarket.

I am not saying that some compromise, isn't occasionally necessary in most relationships--when I see something I'm doing is really making her unhappy for longer than usual, or she really wants something nice for the home, I occasionally change things up.

But when I married her, she--'we' knew that she was most comfortable with me calling the shots, although she's far from being a stupid robot.

[Elexpatriado]

I learned the hard way about her losing respect, and then I fell into the pattern of trying to get it back, for years, with no luck. She had the power, at that point, and would usé that against me whenever she would be on the wrong side of a disagreement.

Dont understand...you were never married or with kids right? So you had no legal or moral obligation to stick it out.


Why take years of abuse..just for the sake of a littlle..pu$$y..? Better to stay celibate


or maybe she had you manipulated so bad you were brainwashed..


Being alone, dieing alone ..with pride, like a man , is better than being an abused,  whipped  soy boy for years on end

[Researcher]

Thats an understatement..but also a generalization..not all Latinas are cut from the same cloth..


If being a nice guy is having compassion, morals and ethics..well..sometimes its better to just be a nice guy..and part ways with someone who has a different outlook on life ....as early as possible..you cant fix "broke"

What else do we have but "generalizations"? It goes without saying that not all latinas are the same.

A man can have compassion,  morals, ethics, etc...and still be a man. US society is toxic for men. I stopped buying into what pop culture preaches. I pretty much think it has became ridiculous. The wussy-fication of men is at an all time high.

If you are a "nice guy" you will get eaten alive by a latina. I stand by that statement.

[Researcher]

Thanks again, everyone. This is all very new to me, and a learning process for sure. However, it's a process that I intend to take part in. It's time I stood up for myself, and make a few decisions based on my likes, wants,  and needs instead of just doing what I'm told.

That is a good path to take.

[Researcher]

Once she loses respect for you, you're toast. And you're not getting it back.

You are 100% correct. Being capable and competent goes a long way.