Is this crazy?

[ag1987]

Hi all. I've been here for a short period of time, but have lurked in the background as a "guest", simply reading posts.
It seems the forum isn't quite as active as it once was, but a core group still posts regularly - thanks guys (and gals!)!


Would you guys recommend for/against the idea of a foreign wife for a younger guy? I guess I am not that young - am 30. I've never been married before.


Been in the Navy for going on 5 yrs now. Work as a healthcare admin officer - was in Japan for 2 years, now VA for 3, heading to D.C. for 3 yrs next summer. After that, could likely head to Europe or the West Coast (my community seems to keep people moving around vs. homesteading).


I have tried online dating and the usual social outings with friends. Finding that, surprisingly, women are not as enthused about the idea of a military lifestyle and the moving around every few years that comes with that. I can understand and appreciate their concerns - most have college degrees they are still paying off and the idea of having to "start over" every few years isn't ideal. I'm not one to really want a "career woman", either.


Are there any others out there in a similar situation? Just looking to settle down and start a family, etc. I did the crazy stuff in college and my 20s...


Thanks guys for all the discussion!

[buenopues4]

Most (not all of course) of the successful marriages I've heard of between a gringo and colombiana involved a younger guy.

[benjio]

Hi all. I've been here for a short period of time, but have lurked in the background as a "guest", simply reading posts.
It seems the forum isn't quite as active as it once was, but a core group still posts regularly - thanks guys (and gals!)!


Would you guys recommend for/against the idea of a foreign wife for a younger guy? I guess I am not that young - am 30. I've never been married before.


Been in the Navy for going on 5 yrs now. Work as a healthcare admin officer - was in Japan for 2 years, now VA for 3, heading to D.C. for 3 yrs next summer. After that, could likely head to Europe or the West Coast (my community seems to keep people moving around vs. homesteading).


I have tried online dating and the usual social outings with friends. Finding that, surprisingly, women are not as enthused about the idea of a military lifestyle and the moving around every few years that comes with that. I can understand and appreciate their concerns - most have college degrees they are still paying off and the idea of having to "start over" every few years isn't ideal. I'm not one to really want a "career woman", either.


Are there any others out there in a similar situation? Just looking to settle down and start a family, etc. I did the crazy stuff in college and my 20s...


Thanks guys for all the discussion!

I was 28 when I got started looking SOTB. 28!!!!!! My advice? Get your ass to wherever you're thinking about going and do it now!!! I've never thought of myself as the best looking guy, but when I first went to Colombia I think there was a lot more interest in me because of my age. A 15 or 20 year age gap isn't really a big deal in Latin America and certain parts of Asia. But the simple fact is young women prefer young men. They can love older men but youth is youth. Here's the bad thing: I'm assuming you're in pretty good shape being in the military. If you have all your teeth and a decent head of hair and you went somewhere like Colombia for example, you'll pretty much have some of the hottest women on Earth giving you genuine play. I mean really, really, really, gorgeous, full package dime pieces. I've seen this with younger guys. Those aren't necessarily going to be wife material though. And making the wrong decision can cost you years of heartache, a fortune in cash and assets and perhaps even your sanity. Go down and have fun dating and getting to know the culture while you're young. The women aren't going anywhere. I'm no pedophile but when I hang out with friends and go to social gatherings in Colombia like birthdays parties or Quinces all I see if 13-17 year old girls that are going to grow up to be absolutely gorgeous women. You can tell even when they're that young. So if you dated down there 10 years trying to find the right one it still wouldn't be a waste of time. Probably be quite fun actually.

Sew your royal oats and enjoy your new found playground. Let your wife fall in your lap. Don't try and force her to sit down or let her force you to turn into a chair. Learn the language and build a circle of friends you can trust. Believe me....best decision I ever made. Hands down!

[Wildstubby]

ag1987 said:

Hi all. I've been here for a short period of time, but have lurked in the background as a "guest", simply reading posts.
It seems the forum isn't quite as active as it once was, but a core group still posts regularly - thanks guys (and gals!)!


Would you guys recommend for/against the idea of a foreign wife for a younger guy? I guess I am not that young - am 30. I've never been married before.


Been in the Navy for going on 5 yrs now. Work as a healthcare admin officer - was in Japan for 2 years, now VA for 3, heading to D.C. for 3 yrs next summer. After that, could likely head to Europe or the West Coast (my community seems to keep people moving around vs. homesteading).


I have tried online dating and the usual social outings with friends. Finding that, surprisingly, women are not as enthused about the idea of a military lifestyle and the moving around every few years that comes with that. I can understand and appreciate their concerns - most have college degrees they are still paying off and the idea of having to "start over" every few years isn't ideal. I'm not one to really want a "career woman", either.


Are there any others out there in a similar situation? Just looking to settle down and start a family, etc. I did the crazy stuff in college and my 20s...


Thanks guys for all the discussion!

Welcome. I was a swabbie for 6 years and spent almost 5 on a 'flat-top' out of NOB. Having a younger woman is not a crime. Having one that is immature, (regardless of age) is stupid! I can attest what buenospues4 and benjio have said. I have been traveling twice a year to Colombia since the 'cessation' of the 'great war' 3 years ago. I had no confidence with women whatsoever. After being married for 25 years, didn't improve things either. I persevered, learned from the mistakes I made, (you will make some too), but tried to heed the advice of others. If a spouse is what you are looking for, make damn sure this is the one you want to be with. It sux being in a toxic relationship with no egress. Take your time and listen to what others say, not what they tell you specifically to do! You will know when it feels right!

[robert angel]

From what I've heard, age 30 is a full on 'prime time' age down there. Younger than that, and women can be worried that you're still sowing your wild oats, full throttle and need a little more time out to pasture before settling down.

They want a 'man'-- not what they see as a playBOY. Not to say that a number of them openly or subconsciously don't want a guy thirty or older, with some macho ' bad boy' left in him-- a lot do. A guy who'll call the shots, so to speak. Don't go down there acting all warm and fuzzy.

It's not 'Mr. Rodgers Neighborhood' LOL...

Getting further up in years and marrying a much younger woman, over time the age difference can become more of an issue. I've been lucky with my much younger wife, but since day one, even before we finally married and since, I've realized that one day it could be problematic.

I'm sure the pleasures and potential pitfalls are the same there, but bringing her to the states increases the potential for the pitfalls.

Some women will not be aware of what being a Military spouse and the typical relocation every few years involves, but some, especially the ones who DO know, probably might find the idea of seeing the world, or even different parts of the USA very appealing. My first cousin worked his way up to Naval Commander rank and enroute, married an incredibly beautiful Middle Eastern woman. They've been very happy.

My wife is exploring working for the Federal Govt.--- hopefully in working in embassies over seas, which involves moving every few years. It's a long shot, but  I think she would love it and I'd probably like it.

But honestly, I think you're in a pretty prime spot. I live in a Military town and see a lot of Army guys, a lot of Rangers, married to extremely beautiful women from S. and C. America, many of them have made families-- children, and seem quite content. They're nice, friendly people that me smile.

I often, if it seems appropriate, thank them for serving our country, explaining that while  I don't often agree with the Commander in Chief from different Presidencies, my respect for our men and women in uniform, and their unwavering commitment, is unwavering in my mind.

Don't doubt yourself and situation too much. Work on your Spanish and go there with the mindset that: " At the very least, I'm going to have a great vacation and see some beeeeyoutifull scenery!!!

[robert angel]

Go for it-- and remember:

"You miss 100% of the shots you don't take!

(Wayne, "The Great" Gretsky)

[Elexpatriado]

The younger the better.

 I agree 100% with Benjios advice. 90 % of women in Colombia for example (and 99.9% in North America).want guys within about 10.to 15 years of their own age. And this is regardless of how in shape and otherwise  attractive an.older guy is.

Take your time, have fun, but if you are serious about having a family, put a time limit on making a decisión.Say age  40 years.

That way , you can.learn the culture, the women., their habits and games, be able to.pick a good one. and wont be thinking with your little head, because you are a " kid in a candy shop."

  Only downside I see is with your career,. Not having enough time and money to travel enough to your country of choice.

You say you were posted in Japan. 2 years Didnt get any interest from  Japanese women? When I visited Japan several years ago,I  talked to a young Canadian.or US guy who had good experience with the women there.

[mambocowboy]

The younger the better.

 I agree 100% with Benjios advice. 90 % of women in Colombia for example (and 99.9% in North America).want guys within about 10.to 15 years of their own age. And this is regardless of how in shape and otherwise  attractive an.older guy is.

Take your time, have fun, but if you are serious about having a family, put a time limit on making a decisión.Say age  40 years.

That way , you can.learn the culture, the women., their habits and games, be able to.pick a good one. and wont be thinking with your little head, because you are a " kid in a candy shop."

  Only downside I see is with your career,. Not having enough time and money to travel enough to your country of choice.

You say you were posted in Japan. 2 years Didnt get any interest from  Japanese women? When I visited Japan several years ago,I  talked to a young Canadian.or US guy who had good experience with the women there.

Have fun. Get to know the culture.  Enjoy being with beautiful women so you're judgement isn't clouded  if/when you settle down and you can see a woman for who she really is before risking your financial future, which lets face it, is what you do when you bring a woman to your country for marriage....

[utopiacowboy]

My son was in the Navy for five years and was stationed in Japan for two of those years. He had a nice Japanese girlfriend but he ended up marrying a Korean. He did very well for himself I must say.

[ag1987]

Thanks, all, for you kind words. I've got a call out to Jamie at Latin Introductions to see about availability in January. My hope is to get down there, be able to tell "my story" and go from there. This forum is great and I appreciate everyone's input and discussion. Hope everyone is having a great weekend!

[mambocowboy]

Thanks, all, for you kind words. I've got a call out to Jamie at Latin Introductions to see about availability in January. My hope is to get down there, be able to tell "my story" and go from there. This forum is great and I appreciate everyone's input and discussion. Hope everyone is having a great weekend!

welcome and it would be great to see a trip report from Jaime's.  I don't think we've had one in years....

[JWR]

Because you are living in the land of "Supply and demand"  low supply of great women, and high demand, you will likely lose your head when you get to Colombia and want to close the deal within a couple trips.   You just won't be able to wrap your head around the concept that there's more where that came from, and the more experience you have, the better chance you have of being successful.
After some trips and experience down there, you will look back at some of the things you did, and chuckle at your behaviour I guarantee it.
I've used Jamie's agency and had some fun.  I think that's a good jumping off spot.   Think of it as an R & D trip.  Just have fun, and don't put any pressure on any of the interactions.  You have a decade to play with after all.
So you have a bit of time, so buckle down, and learn some Spanish right now.  Put in the work learning Spanish and that will make a huge difference.  Also if you could get some salsa lessons before you get on the plane, you won't feel so awkward.  Go out, dance with the girls, and just enjoy the Latina energy.  It's going to be intoxicating.
Print out Benjo's advice above and read it daily.  He's spot on.

[Elexpatriado]

So Ag1987 ..you have been given lots of the same advice..take your time..measure twice.. but cut once

We dont want to hear you reporting you are dragging the first ( or second or third) gal you meet at Jamies back to the US ..and worst yet a few months or short years later complaining it didnt work out because you "werent compatible...or even worse yet ..you didnt realize when you met her she was a prostitute or web cam.model.or something similar.

[robert angel]

So Ag1987 ..you have been given lots of the same advice..take your time..measure twice.. but cut once

We dont want to hear you reporting you are dragging the first ( or second or third) gal you meet at Jamies back to the US ..and worst yet a few months or short years later complaining it didnt work out because you "werent compatible...or even worse yet ..you didnt realize when you met her she was a prostitute or web cam.model.or something similar.

So much has changed, so many agencies completely out of business. I recall a lot of guys saying that different agencies were posting pictures of the same women, women who had 'moved on' years previously.

But Jamie's site has consistently gotten good reviews from seasoned members here. One interesting thing for sure, is that he doesn't paint some sugar coated picture of the women there, in fact what he tells you up front would scare a lot of guys away.

Listening there and here is a good way to approach the inevitable 'learning curve'...

[ag1987]

Absolutely. Still waiting to hear about the 2nd half of January for a visit - works well with work schedule. He also is direct in his e-mails...a real to-the-point kind of guy...I like that.

[mambocowboy]

Absolutely. Still waiting to hear about the 2nd half of January for a visit - works well with work schedule. He also is direct in his e-mails...a real to-the-point kind of guy...I like that.

Yes indeed.  I recommend reading a thread by latinsharpei to see what can happen when a man thinks with the wrong head and doesn't listen to advice....

[ag1987]

Alright my friends and mentors, am going to Jamie's 17-31 January.
Nice, easy flight via American through Miami to BAQ.


Thanks, mambo, am looking for thread now.


I'll be sure to do a trip report.

[robert angel]

Alright my friends and mentors, am going to Jamie's 17-31 January.
Nice, easy flight via American through Miami to BAQ.


Thanks, mambo, am looking for thread now.


I'll be sure to do a trip report.

That'd be great. Last trip report I remember is Neil Armstrong's. And not the movie version: "First Man" either...

[Wildstubby]

ag1987 said:

Alright my friends and mentors, am going to Jamie's 17-31 January.
Nice, easy flight via American through Miami to BAQ.


Thanks, mambo, am looking for thread now.


I'll be sure to do a trip report.

You won't be too impressed by Barranquilla. It looks pretty dirty between the airport and center city. The inner city seems to be cleaner than Santa Marta. I don't know what hotel you have picked out but I stayed at the NH Collection downtown. There was a bank with ATM's right around the corner. A lot of places were within walking distance so you didn't need a cab to go everywhere. Supermarket about a block away. The hotel had a pretty good breakfast however if you don't care for that there is a McDonalds, complete with 'AUTOMAC' (I don't know if you can get fries with that! ), directly across the street. Not sure about the weather. I was there in November last year and there was quite a bit of rain. I've seen videos of the streets turning into 'arroyos'(?) where the cars float down the street with the current! Pretty intense! Question: Who is this Jaime/website?

[mambocowboy]

Alright my friends and mentors, am going to Jamie's 17-31 January.
Nice, easy flight via American through Miami to BAQ.


Thanks, mambo, am looking for thread now.


I'll be sure to do a trip report.

Look forward to it. At 28, you should be able to enjoy some fine ladies in Barranquilla.  Hope you like em curvy, because the women there are thick in all the right places...

[robert angel]

The whole idea of going to BQ, Colombia to find a woman/women does sound and I dare say IS unothodox, but "CRAZY"? --NO.

Not when you have a strong feeling, an attraction for, those women 'down thattaway'....

You're really only going to find them in significant and to an extent, already 'vetted' numbers  in a limited amount of time, by going there and utilizing an effective agency. So adding Jamie to the situation adds even more seniisibility to it all..

Now and once you're there, try and make other friends, networking and broadening your connection base. You never know when a 'friend of a friend ' can lead to gold--that's how I was introduced to my wife.

Do that online, as well as of course 'on the ground' while there. Ya never know, maybe a taxi driver has a niece who's a perfect 'ten', is sweet as the day is long AND is a rocket scientist! The hotel doormen usually know the street meat from the sweet treats too-- the good girls from the bad, and so on. But you have to consider the source. Think....

I hope that Jamie's translator is still the same woman (or someone like her), who seemed to be real good (from what I've heard) at sorting out the flakes and telling guys when she (and Jamie did too) felt to what extent a particular woman was or wasn't a good choice, match for a particular guy (client).

Having such a personal interface, given the language and overall cultural differences requiring 'sorting out', will probably prove valuable.

Just don't rush and over pressure yourself into thinking you HAVE to find THE one woman for you this first trip.

Better to go with the mindset that you're going to have a nice, educational vacation, setting the stage for another trip.

Watch what you eat and drink, as too many guys here took trips and spent most of them sick, green and barfing. Not too good whilst 'dating'...LOL

There's no substitute for allowing adequate time to sort all this relationship stuff out, but going in smart, like it sounds like you are, will most likely be optimal usage of time.

Hard to believe, but your trip's not much more than a couple months away!

[robert angel]

Besides, we're ALL a bit crazy around here to start with.

But to a lot of other people around us here in the USA they think we're INSANE!

And never mind them!

"""Always do WHAT YOU WANT and say what YOU feel, because those who mind don't matter, and those who matter don't mind. BE WHO YOU ARE and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind""

(A wise quote, actually attributed to several people, including Dr. Seuss)

[buenopues4]

Should you happen to have an interest in photography and or botany you and Jaime will have a lot to talk about.

[ag1987]

It is pretty wild how soon this is - mixture of emotions really, excited/anxious/a tad nervous? Probably pretty normal given the fact I've never done something like this before. The upcoming holidays will make the time go that much quicker.


I like the perspective of treating it as a R&D or "business" trip. Great advice about not placing pressure on myself "I HAVE TO FIND THE ONE...etc". I am cautiously hopeful that I'll meet one (or a few) who/m will want to continue corresponding after I leave and go from there. I have my objective "non-negotiables" that will hopefully pare down the candidate pool to maximize use of the short time I'll be there. I like Jamie's process of sharing your profile with the women ahead of time. The translator aspect should be beneficial, as you said Robert. I have Fluenz for self-learning Spanish beyond what I remember from High School and, while it is going well, the more complex conversations are something I won't have down in the next 10 weeks.


For those who've been to the area, any restaurants or activities you strongly recommend doing (or not doing, for that matter)? I know Jaime and his staff will have recommendations but always happy to have multiple suggestions.


More to add as I think of it.

[Wildstubby]

ag1987 said:

It is pretty wild how soon this is - mixture of emotions really, excited/anxious/a tad nervous? Probably pretty normal given the fact I've never done something like this before. The upcoming holidays will make the time go that much quicker.


I like the perspective of treating it as a R&D or "business" trip. Great advice about not placing pressure on myself "I HAVE TO FIND THE ONE...etc". I am cautiously hopeful that I'll meet one (or a few) who/m will want to continue corresponding after I leave and go from there. I have my objective "non-negotiables" that will hopefully pare down the candidate pool to maximize use of the short time I'll be there. I like Jamie's process of sharing your profile with the women ahead of time. The translator aspect should be beneficial, as you said Robert. I have Fluenz for self-learning Spanish beyond what I remember from High School and, while it is going well, the more complex conversations are something I won't have down in the next 10 weeks.


For those who've been to the area, any restaurants or activities you strongly recommend doing (or not doing, for that matter)? I know Jaime and his staff will have recommendations but always happy to have multiple suggestions.


More to add as I think of it

I know exactly how you feel. Listen, I was married for 25 years and stayed true to my matrimonial oath. On the advice of my lawyer, (and fraternal brother), I kept all inclinations of any relationship shaded from my ex. The moment that the divorce was declared final, I started my plans and made my reservations. Like you, I visited other countries when I was in the Navy, but I hadn't touched another woman in close to 27 years! I figured nothing ventured, nothing gained. So, having said all that, I will give you the same advice that the 'Coladmin' at the former colombiahelp.com website gave me: This isn't an exam or a test. Relax and enjoy the moments! Go with the flow and do what comes naturally and you will be ok. Use your common sense and try not to fall to much for the first woman you meet! Colombian women are very affectionate, so it is easy to get caught up in the moment!
Like I said previously, I stayed at the NH Collection in the middle of town. There was a nice Cuban restaurant about 2~3 blocks away There is also a casino and a very large mall there. Other restaurants were close by also. Here's a piece of advice I wish I had learned earlier. My first trip I used my AAA card to get about $500 USD in Colombian pesos for my trip. AAA used Travelex. They took about 11~12% premium for the money exchange. I learned that I could use my debit card and get withdrawals directly from my credit union using the ATMs there. The fees were minimal and decent rates(about 1~3%!). Make sure you tell all your credit card companies AND your financial institutions about your travel plans. Some won't authorize charges from foreign vendors unless they know you are there in advance.  When you go out and about, try to take only the amount of cash you will need for restaurant/café/centro comercial, etc. Most hotels have a safe for you to stash your valuables in. Keep your head on a swivel, and above all, watch out for the traffic!!!!!!