Newbie post and seeking advise

[TechGromit]

 Hello,


Here's my situation, I'm separated, getting divorced within the next 6 months. Was Married for 10 years to an Italian heritage American women, around the same age as me.  While we did get along well in pretty much every other aspect of our Marriage, she lost all interest in Sex. I've tried for years to get her to try medication, therapy, but she had no interest. When she did agree to give me pity sex, she would say words of encouragement like, "Are you finished yet", "Hurry up and finish",  "I can't take anymore", all the while not wanting it kiss. I just got sick of the lack of effort on her part and ended it.


We lived apart for 6 months now, I just sold the house we owned together, I'm currently living with my Parents to minimize expenses to pay off my debt and save some money quickly as possible. While I don't have any assets to speak of, I do have a good amount of $ in my retirement account and I have a great well paying job (I do Cyber Security at a Nuclear Power Plant), in a few years of saving I'll be back where I should be financial wise. Anyway, I'm very interested in pursuing a Wife from a foreign country, I'm pretty open to nationality, Russian, Latin American, Asian, so long as she's good looking, willing to move to the United States, has at least some sex drive left and isn't a gold digger.


 Does anyone have any opinion's what nationality would best fit what I seek? I'm 49 years old, Tall, a little heavy, but certainly no obese, and pretty good looking still.  I'm more than willing to travel to meet my perspective mate. I took a trip to Cartagena Columbia about 10 years ago, and find Columbia women very sex. Anyway I took a look at www.latin-wife.com, not that I'm planning to go the matchmaking route, but looking at the profiles, the common theme is most women's cut off age seems to be 45. Of course I realize that women in the 20's are only interesting in Men in the mid-30's, but I thought that as a rule of thumb, Latin women dated men 10 years older than them, I've seen profiles of women as old as 41 and there cut off age was 45. I hoping to meet someone in there mid to late 30's/ early 40's, but I guess so long as she fits what I'm looking for I'm open to age. 





 

[Cherub]

I´m 70 and only have experience dating younger women in Colombia. I can tell you from my experience the 45 cut off age is just a number. In the past 10 years I´ve dated several nice Colombian women half my age and some even younger. Nothing serious with the younger ones, but came close a couple times with the half-my-age group. The youngest I dated was 18 and the oldest was 58. That´s a 40 year spread. I am most comfortable with Colombianas 35 to 45, and occasionally into the 50´s.
If you are 45 you can easily date from 18 to 50 but my guess is you would be most comfortable dating  Colombian women 25 to 35.
I meet most of my dates through Latin cupid and Colombian cupid. Ocasionally meet someone interesting in a store or on the street. Recently met a nice girl 25 single no kids while I was waiting for at the bus stop. We exchanged numbers and started up a month long WhatsApp conversation before meeting in person again. Interesting girl, college student in public administration. Graduates in December. Just an example. Good luck.

[TechGromit]

I'm noticing a common theme on "Latin cupid", platinum memberships with no details in there profile and the first message is I'm new to this site, contact me at xyz@gmail.com. Not sure what they want, maybe to spam your emaill address once you send you first message. I just delete them as I see them.

[robert angel]

If I had to do it all again and only if I could speak Spanish (I'm beyond terrible at picking up second languages) I'd have another go south of the border to at least have a 'look see' again. Just curious. I'm a sucker for a hot looking Latina, but that said, I'm not sure if I could find one with a personality as consistently stable as I require. I also don't want to have to spend years trying to overcome, to have to work around a language barrier at home and in public. That's just me, everybody's different, but I don't want to have to 'tame a tiger' personality continuously either  Nor do I want anyone who plays loose with the truth.

Dated a number in my time, but often saw too much drama, heard too many 'tales'. Also, three of my Uncles married Latinas and when it was good, it was very good, but all too often, it was 'kisses and hand grenades' and that taught me a lot growing up. "Gee, Aunt Sonia--what happened to all the plates in the china cabinet?"----I loved them, the food, the music, the passion, all my cousin's hot little chica friends, Mmmmm-- but too many ups and downs. My Aunties treated me sooo well, like the Prince of Princes, but man o live, the ups and downs my Uncles went through....

But having been married twice to ladies from the Philippines and very, very satisfied with my lovely, low maintainance, incredibly even tempered and forgiving Filipina wife---who's also quite a bit younger, I'd go back to the Philippines again, if it sadly came to that.

English isn't a problem there. They typically consider sex not just an obligation, but also a most welcome activity. Look at the nation's birthrate and you might wonder exactly what the nation's favorite 'past time' really is! As a matter of fact, a couple days back, my wife was showing me a scholarly article, explaining how our active sex life is actually good for person's physical and mental health, as well as life span. Maybe I'll live to 100....

Speaking of numbers, 400 hundred years of Spanish occupation, as well as migratory influxes from China, India and other nations, have created a nation with incredibly varied appearance amongst its close to 60 million females. There's  almost every kind of 'look' you can imagine, from milky white skin, like royalty from Spain to east Indian,. Then there's of course the classic morena skin and looks on women who may seem half Spanish and half Asian, there's the more pure blooded Asian looks, some Indonesian types, the  Australians, Koreans, Japanese who are increasingly marrying Filipinas and moving there to get more 'traditional' wives, (as well the ability to legally buy prime land), to increasingly, the 'Euroasian' mixed look women. There are even almost African looks on the few indigenous people left there and more.

It's a real candy store, of beautiful, varied types of exotic women. Willy Wonka, were he making females, couldn't have done any better, IMO.

I get a sore neck and need to wear wrap around sunglasses when walking around there. Don't need viagara, you might need 'doggie downer' pills instead, LOL.

The Philippine's educational system highly emphasizes English, literacy is very high and college education common. Western ways are probably more common there than any other Asian nation/culture, but they still have a distsinct identity and intense national pride.

I'd say both Latin and Filipino cultures are probably equal in terms of 'potential' issues with the family abroad being a financial drain, but that varies from family to family, situation--I've been fortunate.

Work ethic is very high. In many areas, the women are raised to prefer deferring to their husband's desires, letting him lead. Not to say they're mindless robots, but a good Filipina will never lose her composure in public and no matter how bone headed  a move you make in public, will never 'call you out' and create an embarassing situation.

On the other hand, if you're incapacitated,  a lot of them will stick by you. If you can't get things done, they're usually pretty adaptable and ready to step in and get those things done.

I got lucky, (very) but having been in the provinces and cities there, I prefer the folks in the smaller cities and villages,  out in the southern provinces. They just seem more laid back, with more traditional, 'old fashioned' values, yet higher education is valued and they typically adapt to new ways quite well. From the Artic to Antartica and everywhere in between, chances are you'll find a Filipino who's setlledmin well. Christianity is usually a big thing, but they don't pound it on others and it certainly doesn't impact their sensuality!

Going to the Philippines is a long, long trip and an expensive plane ticket, but once you get there, the cost of living can be incredibly low compared to here. Probably a third to half of the world's highest rated beaches are in the Philippines  and the resorts, from low to high priced, are wonderful, the food quite good. The shopping malls are unreal--thriving, huge, with lights, music and impossibly beautiful salegirls fawning over you. If you can't uh, 'strike up a friendship' with a lovely Filipina at a mall there, you are beyond hope. The people are beyond friendly, most have family in the US already and love Yankees--they'll make you feel like a rock star, even if you're older, fat and balding. If you're halfway decent, cabbies, hotel doormen and more will want to introduce you to someone.

Yes, there are gold diggers in every country, but there are a lot of ladies there who just want a good guy to be their husband till the end, to have retire there with them or take them to a new land.

Life's too short already. Maybe try posting a free profile on Filipinocupid and see what kind of bites you get. Learn to sort em out. Get the past behind you--regroup, reload and get on the plane!

[vikingo]

Hello Tech, your soon to be ex wife has a problem with hormone balance, she is lacking testosterone, which in small amounts is responsible for a woman's sex drive. You might want to talk to her about it to see a good gynecologist to bring her back to normal so she won't have to be alone for the rest of her life.
As far as foreign women are concerned, you may have to kiss a lot of frogs and be financially taken advantage off, before you find what you're looking for.

[TechGromit]

Hello Tech, your soon to be ex wife has a problem with hormone balance, she is lacking testosterone, which in small amounts is responsible for a woman's sex drive. You might want to talk to her about it to see a good gynecologist to bring her back to normal so she won't have to be alone for the rest of her life.

As I stated in my email, I tried for some time to try to get her to take something to increase her sex drive.  She has no interest, it's not like I didn't get what I wanted one night and and immediately said I want a divorce.  I tried for years, if she's alone the rest of her life she has no one to blame but herself.  At some point you have to do what best for you, and I reached that point. 

[Elexpatriado]

I'm noticing a common theme on "Latin cupid", platinum memberships with no details in there profile and the first message is I'm new to this site, contact me at xyz@gmail.com. Not sure what they want, maybe to spam your emaill address once you send you first message. I just delete them as I see them.

Or you could just move to Colombia and become an ESL teacher and just have young women as clients..LOL

[robert angel]

In all these foreign countries, late 40's for a guy is still 'prime time ' in terms of your age and appeal to a wide age range of quality women. But once you approach your mid 50's and older, it become a little more difficult to pick the best from the younger end of the spectrum.

I don't think many guys here would suggest you even pursue women under age 25 for a serious relationship anyway--most are not mature enough mentally, too many flakes. But certainly educated, late twenties, into her thirties and up, educated women are fair game. Just try to make up your mind about the question of children beforehand.

I suggest you try and expedite getting your marital situation in order (over with) seeing how you seem to indicate reconcilliation isn't going to happen. That said I'd also still recommend trying to realize that it does take time to re acclimate to your new identity as a single, divorced man. You're a different person again, not some 'thirty something' guy anymore, and have been out of the 'dating game' quite a while.

I think some months after the ink's dry on the divorce, trying the local online dating scene is also a worthwhile endeavor, sadly not only because it will probably not be too rewarding, but will make you appreciate what you can get, what you can achieve, overseas. After a while on places like Match.Com and Zoosk, those babes overseas look mighty fine!!!

[TechGromit]

I'd go back to the Philippines again, if it sadly came to that.

English isn't a problem there. They typically consider sex not just an obligation, but also a most welcome activity.

I was also considering Philippines, because no language barrier. I guess my preference of choice would be Russian, Columbia and Philippines, but I know zip Russian, my Spanish is horrible even after two years of it in High School.  Women that speak my language would be a more realistic choice. 

[TechGromit]

I suggest you try and expedite getting your marital situation in order (over with) seeing how you seem to indicate reconciliation isn't going to happen.

Thanks for the advise, I'm early stages in my searching, so I'm not in a hurry. I joined a Russian dating site, and now Latin American singles, I'll try a Filipino site next, look at photos and profiles, talk to them and see where I can line up the most potential matches and take a trip to see if I can make a connection. I really want to hit Thailand for the whole sex tour experience before I settle down with a Wife.  I did try POF with very limited success, seems every half way attractive women, even those older than my think they can do better.

[Cherub]

I'm noticing a common theme on "Latin cupid", platinum memberships with no details in there profile and the first message is I'm new to this site, contact me at xyz@gmail.com. Not sure what they want, maybe to spam your emaill address once you send you first message. I just delete them as I see them.

Yes, that has always been there off and on, but lately has gotten rather annoying there are so many of them. I did click on a couple links and got redirected to web cam sites so I reported her to management and blocked the girl. After a while you get a feel for which of the girls are worth talking to.
One of my biggest complaints about the Latinas is their low level of education. Even with a masters degree they still can´t write a coherent sentence. they don´t use punctuation and change thoughts in mid sentence and use street spanish, its annoying sometimes. When I do find an educated woman who can hold a conversation I value her.
Maybe I´ll take a look at the more educated girls Robert is talking about. I´m ready for a vacation anyway, and I darn sure don´t want to go back to US nowadays, so maybe I´ll take a few months and ramble over to see what Robert is making all the fuss about. Biggest concern I have is the climate. I like the beach and hot tropics for about a week then I crave the mountains and fresh, cool air. Any of that in the Philippines?

[robert angel]

I was involved with some Chinese women  and was quite serious with an incredible half Asian, half Russian girl from Kazakhstan. But I can't caution guys enough about the pitfalls that can await you with women from Eastern Europe--and from other countries belonging formerly to the USSR.

All the above mentioned nations have more than their share of gorgous, highly intelligent and manipulative women, women who have taken some very sharp guys for some awful rides.

About as cold a place that I want to go looking for women is Baguaio, Philippines, which is rather cool, tempreture wise.,It's a very popular mountain area with natives and tourists alike, who can be seen wearing jackets. On the other hand, it's not that far or expensive a trip to warm beaches in the lower elevations. Travel there, by bus, air or ferry is pretty inexpensive.

[DRGUY1]

 Also, three of my Uncles married Latinas and when it was good, it was very good, but all too often, it was 'kisses and hand grenades' and that taught me a lot growing up. "Gee, Aunt Sonia--what happened to all the plates in the china cabinet?"----

HAHA... "Kisses and hand grenades" oh how true that statement is Rob....I can vouch first hand for that  [size=78%].[/size]


Well if sex drive is important, Latina's are a great choice...I have dated several from South America and all of them have kept me up half the night  ....Most of us have been down there and can offer you good sound advice before you go. Its and adventure for sure.

[ignorante]

I think some months after the ink's dry on the divorce, trying the local online dating scene is also a worthwhile endeavor, sadly not only because it will probably not be too rewarding, but will make you appreciate what you can get, what you can achieve, overseas.

  "Trying the local dating scene" after a divorce in my 40s is the reason why I dropped off this site several years back.  I thought I would do it for the purposes you suggest, but  I ended up happily married to a beautiful, younger, very traditional, and conservative American woman.  Obviously that development removed my entire reason for participating here.


I'd tell the whole story, but it's not really relevant to this web site.


I just check in now and again to see how all of you are doing.  I'm doing great!

[robert angel]

  "Trying the local dating scene" after a divorce in my 40s is the reason why I dropped off this site several years back.  I thought I would do it for the purposes you suggest, but  I ended up happily married to a beautiful, younger, very traditional, and conservative American woman.  Obviously that development removed my entire reason for participating here.


I'd tell the whole story, but it's not really relevant to this web site.


I just check in now and again to see how all of you are doing.  I'm doing great!

I think it makes sense to try your home base, really your own nation, first. My experience was that especially as the women got older, many of them having been through a divorce or two, that many of them had an evident bitterness that made developing and maintaining a relationship difficult. I'm pretty sure there's a whole lot of guys who are much the same.

Divorce, children, finances left in  the wreckage, an almost disposable marriage culture, with lawyers advertising cheap, fast divorces, doesn't make things better relationship wise.

I think you further describing how your situation played out could only do good here, that it would not  fall upon deaf, unwelcome, hostile ears. I think it is relevant. A number of guys here have expressed that the mindset that all USA women are bad news is false and as I recall, nobody disagreed.

Congratulations on your success, keep it going!

[mambocowboy]

HAHA... "Kisses and hand grenades" oh how true that statement is Rob....I can vouch first hand for that  [size=78%].[/size]


Well if sex drive is important, Latina's are a great choice...I have dated several from South America and all of them have kept me up half the night  ....Most of us have been down there and can offer you good sound advice before you go. Its and adventure for sure.

If female sex drive is important i suggest Colombia or Brazil. Women in those countries generally have an insatiable secual appetite...

[vikingo]

If female sex drive is important i suggest Colombia or Brazil. Women in those countries generally have an insatiable secual appetite...

Age has a lot to do with it though. Some women lose their sexual appetite over the years, especially when they hit early menopause, like the 38 year old Colombian wife of a former brother in law I know of.

[mambocowboy]

Age has a lot to do with it though. Some women lose their sexual appetite over the years, especially when they hit early menopause, like the 38 year old Colombian wife of a former brother in law I know of.

Yes indeed,  but most of us are in relationships with women 22-35,  and most women dont menopause till mid to late 40s

[Elexpatriado]

Yes indeed,  but most of us are in relationships with women 22-35,  and most women dont menopause till mid to late 40s

Women are complicated biologically , emotionally and psycologically.

Cant generalizar on Any group.

Anyone who says they have them figured out is BSing.



Reallly cant understand why  they  live longer than Men.

[TechGromit]

How's you experience been with the "Whatsapp"? I exchanged numbers with one girl from Columbia. We chatted a couple of nights, she had some English, but at times we struggled to communicate. I told her right up front that I will not be in a position to come down to see her for 6 months, but she kept wanting to chat every night. It quickly become more of a pain than anything, I had other stuff I want to do at night, instead of video chatting.   

Is there any other pitfalls to giving you number out to women who want to talk on Whatsapp? Any scams I need to be aware of? Do you use a burner phone so you don't have women bothering you, like when your at work?

[Elexpatriado]

How's you experience been with the "Whatsapp"? I exchanged numbers with one girl from Columbia. We chatted a couple of nights, she had some English, but at times we struggled to communicate. I told her right up front that I will not be in a position to come down to see her for 6 months, but she kept wanting to chat every night. It quickly become more of a pain than anything, I had other stuff I want to do at night, instead of video chatting.   

Is there any other pitfalls to giving you number out to women who want to talk on Whatsapp? Any scams I need to be aware of? Do you use a burner phone so you don't have women bothering you, like when your at work?

Just block them. Pure and simple.


Scams ..pretty simple..NEVER send money no matter how sad the story is..


Not rocket science..


And PLease, spell Colombia right

[Elexpatriado]

Just tell her you to busy, dont send messages all the time.


If she continues, just block her



Just block them. Pure and simple.


Scams ..pretty simple..NEVER send money no matter how sad the story is..


Not rocket science..


And PLease, spell Colombia right