My Trip (GOT ENGAGED!!)

[Fosgate5]

Alright I got to get my experience down before I forget and loose track of things.  My trip to the Philippines was about 9 months in the planning. First, I found seats on trip advisor From Denver to Manila for about $850. I figured I would get a little more comfortable seating by paying an extra $300 to move to United’s Economy Plus, (Much to my regret later).  About 3 months prior I made my reservations through Trip Advisor after much research. Basic principals were 1.) within a populated area for security reasons and economic as it is easy to get stuck in the middle of nowhere paying whatever obscene amount the demand because “Where else you gonna go?”


I drove 5 hours from my place in South Dakota to relatives in Denver Colorado and had them run me to the airport for my flight. I got my isle seat in 17F on a United Airbus. I immediately realized this was going to be a long trip as the so called economy plus seat was the horrible steel three sided box.  https://runwaygirl-5389.kxcdn.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/02/United-787-Dreamliner-Interior_1-medium.jpg  I’ve battled plane seating since I was fit in the Army at 6’6 as I fought for leg, hip space and people reclining onto my knees. Now that I’m overweight to boot, sheeeeit! Smile lady, I’m here for the next 11 ½ hours. I had to getup and stretch every hour, pop the knees and hip back into place. Start the flight with the typical hour delay and takoff for Tokyo. Start first by sleeping a couple hours skipping the first meal served. Then watch all three of the Hangover series.


After eternity we finally arrive in Tokyo an hour late so now instead of two hours I have one hour to clear security and make it over to the ANA Flight to Manila. They were boarding just as I arrived at the gate. This time I got stuffed in a window seat next to a little Filipina and her husband. Another hour dealay on the ground and we get airborne. Upon serving the in flight meal the lady next to me moved to an empty seat across the isle from her husband. There was a lot of empty seats on this flight luckily and it was comfortable all the way to Manila.


We arrive in Manila at nearly 10pm, Wifi is not available and we all walk right through customs about as fast as we can walk as they take our declarations papers. Step out in the main entry by the baggage claim and it’s like the red carpet with a crowd waiting for people. I walk near the entry by the money exchanges near Burger King and wait. About 10 minutes later my woman walks up to me and we are both anxious to get out of there. I changed out $1000 for 50 pesos to the dollar (I would see the resorts later 46-48 pesos to the dollar). I stuffed that in the wallet around my neck and tucked it under my shirt.


Immediately walking outside we are mobbed by taxi’s and my woman pushes through them like they are not even there. First lane is vans asking 1500 pesos firm. Second and third lanes have what my first impression was the Nascar badged taxi cab services wanting 1200-1400 Peso. Then we get to the parking lot and that’s where we find the little family owned rides that are unmarked and fairly nice. My woman negotiates and walks away from the first one, second one offers 950 peso to the hotel (50 to get out of the lot check gate). We are then on our way to Hop Inn Hotel Ermita.


Hop Inn Hotel Ermita was a surprise at $30 a night, marble floors, roomy and very clean. We crashed and woke up early the next morning and hit the 7-Eleven next door and jumped in a cab right outside for a ride to the airport for our 10:30 flight. I believe this ride due to low traffic time was only 300 pesos. We get to the terminal for Cebu Pacific with plenty of time before our flight. The check in moved me from a front seat saying she would get me a more comfortable seat which was an isle seat in the back row of the plane. She was so wrong as I rode in my front window seat on the way back with plenty of comfort.


Once we arrived in Coron we walk into the terminal and grab our bags and walk through a group of 4 separate women handing out tour brochures. I could have chose to reserve the Two Seasons Resort Bayside for $1500 pesos but we decided to  just grab first available. The hotels two black vans showed up and was asked how much, 300 pesos each to ride with a group or 500 each to load up and go by ourselves. I forked over the 1000 and let’s go. The driver spoke perfect English and we had a great conversation about the area on our 45 min drive to the hotel in Coron town. As we pulled up we were immediately greeted by security that kept themselves between us and anything on the street or sidewalk as they handed our bags to the staff. Check-in was a breeze and we were there. We had arrived to late for any tours so we just relaxed and took in the hotel for a couple hours. Made our reservation for the morning tours.


We should have spent out entire vacation in Coron instead of moving on to Panglao Island. Calamian Islands Travel & Tours with guide Jerry Santiago were hands down the best. My woman had never swam before and Jerry was more than happy to tow her around beside me with us exploring reefs and wrecks. When I jumped in the water at Twin Lagoon someone swiped my dive mask and snorkel. Jerry finds out and ten minutes later swims up to me with my mask and snorkel. The difference with this tour and one we took in Panglao was no pressure on us. Everything, all fees, meal, bottle of water, snack I mean everything was included. We had one guy paddle up to the boat with Coconut (Buco) juice at under 100 pesos but that was it. There was not the payment up front and get us out on the water to discover to snorkel is another 500 pesos and if we see a turtle another 500 pesos like Alona Beach in Panglao. Calamianes was very reasonable at 1600 peso each for the tour we took and when we docked instead of wanting to put distance between us and the crew, handshakes, smiles, gestures of appreciation and tips went out to he and the crew. On the way back to the hotels our boat mates and us were talking like we all knew each other and concerned if we tipped them enough at 200 peso. We had such a good time. My only advice is if you plan on taking the beach tour or the reef and wrecks tour to do those whenever available as the coast guard shut down the Reefs & Wrecks tour and the Beaches tour due to gales. Our boat mates at drop off had said if it was windy the next day they would just do the same tour over they had so much fun though.


The following day we hung out by the pool which we had all to ourselves and went up on the roof to the hot tub and gym. We took the town tour in the afternoon. It was ok, the main site was a hill with 734 stairs. I simpy trusted they were all there and had no urge to go count them to double check. Others in our group came back huffing and puffing covered in sweat only making nearly 300. The hot springs were pretty cool at night though. There were a few people there though. Again when they dropped us at our hotel our security guard was on us, putting himself between us the sidewalk  and street.  We checked in with the desk and our flight left at a little after 8am, so we would need to leave the hotel at 6am. The restaurant was closed at that time but the receptionist arranged for a hot meal to go would be ready for us to take with in the morning.

We came down to the desk at about 5:30 (this was a seriously early 3:30-4am wakeup for us to get ready and make it downstairs. Recommend booking a later flight if possible). Then I discover a mistake on the bill, they didn’t charge our tours to our room like they said they would. I sit down and tell my woman this. How does she respond? No, not the dishonest thing of don’t say anything. She says “You should make it right, if you don’t god will know.” I was expecting the first part of the response and planned on doing the right thing and I wanted her to tell me the same, but she blew me away with the reasoning. I made it right and we picked up our ham and cheese panini and chips for the drive to the airport. It was a quiet beautiful morning as people were already moving about for their day.

We make it back to Manila with plenty of time to wait for our next flight to Panglao Island. We land an Airbus 320 in what I would practically consider an alley with houses seemingly 30 yds off of each wingtip at Tagbiloran airport. Immediately on entry to the airport I’m on guard as porters with powder blue blouses on are asking for your business of grabbing your bags off the carousel and take it to your waiting ride. We ignore these guys, grab our bags and outside and Ana negotiates a cab ride for us at 1000 pesos to take us to Henann Resort, Alona Beach. This is where I noticed the covered trikes with the bible verses at the lower part of the drivers rear window. We had the slowest driver in the Philippines as I noticed little things like that to ignore his mumbling as he acted as out tour guide. First time I had ever seen four dogs having a foursome in the middle of the road as well. We get to the resort and walk in. “Holy [snip] I cant afford this!” I’m thinking after we check in and they take us to our private villa and briefing us. “Free Ala carte breakfast, free mini bar, free access to the VIP for free drinks and oeuvres from noon to 5…” I expected the hook that never came. It was overcast on our arrival and rained the next day. I had a wicked head cold that started to rear up just as we landed as I noticed my ears wouldn’t pop.

So the next day was raining as well as we stayed indoors and snuggled up as I took cold medicine I had brought with as a precaution. However, Dayquil just sucks as it leaves you groggy and I really should have brought my Muscinex and Claritin D that typically taking in combination leaves me alert and symptom free. So we go out to the beach that night and eat at the resorts buffet at about $20 a head. Not impressed with the food we walked the beach and found a tour. This was a mistake as I mentioned earlier. Dolphin watching was about 10 boats chasing dolphins when they surface and then set at idle until they start to see them surface and sprint toward them again. Not really what I would consider a very natural experience.

We arrive at Balicasag Island about 7am, order breakfast and a Red Horse for 600 peso and then we head out to see turtles and snorkel. On our return we get our breakfast and then our server comes back with a tray of souvenirs trying to sell us trinkets at 400-600 pesos each. While sitting there we see the Coast guard walked by armed with M-16’s and a couple more cops walk by. My attention is immediately watching for anyone watching them and edges of our perimeter and looking for escape routes. We walk down the beach to our pickup and we see about a dozen law enforcement and military personnel by the beach. Three are going through an empty boat and the others are facing outward scanning the perimeter. No one else seems to be much aware but I’m alert. I got a short clip of them on my GoPro as we walked around them to our boat. After I returned to the states I found this article which occurred while I was there. http://www.foxnews.com/world/2017/04/15/philippines-foiled-attack-staged-by-is-linked-extremists.html


These guys are typically not that far north and they quickly paid the price. However, situational awareness is always on my mind. Ana said she always felt safe around me as she even noticed my head is always turning looking around us, aware of he is near, who is watching etc. When someone comes up behind close, I’m always pulling Ana near and in front as I’m turning my head and slowing our pace as the person behind is made aware that I am watching them.

Next stop is Paradise beach, another disappointment where it is a small sandbar in the ocean with 50 boats parked on it for an hour and four guys try to solicit us for coconuts, live urchin to eat, and the same trinkets the woman tried to sell us earlier but at 100 pesos each. We then head back to the resort by 1pm in which we have a private tour arranged to race us up to the Chocolate hills to say we were there. Again, lots of hustlers out there trying to make a buck. Kids trying to work you for a large bottle of water for 500 pesos etc. We spent maybe 15 minutes there, flew through and looked at the Tarsars reserve and stuck the GoPro out the window in the manmade forest. Many of the old churches were devastated by a quake 3 years prior so there was not much else. We would have liked to seen the Whale Sharks which may have happened the rainy day prior. I had met a guy on our tour in Coron that had seen them and said the Whale sharks were cool but swimming in the sardine run in Moalboal Cebu was spectacular. That’s what we had really wanted to do but the Chocolate hills was on the top of Ana’s list and we could not do either of the other two with the private tour on the one day we had left. Anyway, I proposed to her that night in which her response was “OF COURSE!!”

The following day we headed back to Manila. We arrived at our next hotel…The Stone House Hotel Pasay. What a [snip] show. Tiny dirty room again at $30 a night. Probably should have been $10. I had stayed in worse in the states but this is not a place one may want to stay. Ana was embarrassed as she made and paid for the Hotels in Manila. I was cool with it, I had after all slept outdoors in the army and it was just a place to sleep for one night. (Though we kept our luggage zipped up in the shower.)

We took a cab to and from the Mall for 150 peso each way to pick out a ring. I asked her how much should we have for a ring budget, she said 15,000 peso so I grabbed 16,000. We went to the mall to the top floor where the ring shops are all in a row.  The first four or five in a row are like your typical jewelry stores here. As fast as she would walk in she would walk out. Why? White gold and 64,000 pesos rings. We walk into one that sells yellow gold diamond engagement rings that she wants and she narrows it down to three all verified diamond. “Which one?” I look at two that are similar but one is obviously more brilliant and clear as the larger one of the two seems to have a dark spot in it or something. All three are in the same price range. When I hear the price of 8,000 pesos I’m thinking (Maybe buy two or three at that price).

So she’s happy, I’m happy and I try Jolly Bee for the first time and make friends with a little guy maybe 6 years old as we are both reserving our booths for our women. We go back to our dive hotel and make a night of it and she rides with to the airport. I handed her the rest of the cash that we had budgeted for the ring and tell her to send it home to her mother as we kiss goodbye.

My whole experience? If someone would have offered me a job in Coron for what I make here, I would not have even come back home for my stuff. Coron was spectacular and we hope to go back. Coron was chill and people there were not about the hustle. Genuine, friendly and they asked nothing of you or tried to sell your stuff. People there were more native and about going around their regular day activity to support the fishing community. You would see the grass skirt houses with a newer cycle or an older pickup next to it and they would be wearing clean collared shirts and pressed clothes, 4-5 family members riding on a cycle and just seeing people about family and their community. I work occasionaly on Pine Ridge and Rose Bud Indian reservation and I see a big difference in attitude. People in Coron are about community, others, going out after it and not waiting for someone to help them. Needless to say I was impressed as I saw no negativity about the culture there.

How much did I spend? Lets see.
$1200 Plane Tickets
$160 a night for three nights at Two Seasons Bayside Resort-Coron
$650 for the two of us in flights from Manila-Coron and back and Manila-Panglao and back.
$260 a night for three nights at Hanann Resort private Villa.
$400 (Just over) for walking around cash on transportation, food, drinks, tips and tours
Value?= A [snip] ton of value for what it cost.

Without further  delay here is the edited GoPro footage from Coron and photos from the entire trip. My first time using a GoPro so go easy.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=68F6EsbpFI0&t=49s
https://photos.google.com/album/AF1QipMJmMQwCo-5gKO_FuRrmsxJ6z1vxQkDhfD8mr3P/photo/AF1QipO441hUbbA-_pVRxLc9TSZIRiwzU82LKmTz7OKq

[Fosgate5]

o0tgilk

[Ricardo1]

Thanks for sharing about your vacation.  Interesting to read that Abu Sayif is penetrating other areas of the Philippines - not just the Mindanao regions...




But I am curious about your post, since you give a quite detailed account of what you did, but excluded the stuff we're mostly interested on this forum - that is: how was your experience with meeting your GF (now fiancee) for the very first time - I'm assuming here.


You're making some big, bold moves - how did you get so certain that this is the one woman for you right out  of the gate???.


Please fill us in - the suspense is killing us   

[Fosgate5]

Thanks for sharing about your vacation.  Interesting to read that Abu Sayif is penetrating other areas of the Philippines - not just the Mindanao regions...




But I am curious about your post, since you give a quite detailed account of what you did, but excluded the stuff we're mostly interested on this forum - that is: how was your experience with meeting your GF (now fiancee) for the very first time - I'm assuming here.


You're making some big, bold moves - how did you get so certain that this is the one woman for you right out  of the gate???.


Please fill us in - the suspense is killing us   

My thought is this. Growing up my parents got divorced when I hit maybe 5th grade. It was rough on me and in may later years I dated a lot of women in my past being fussy looking for that perfect woman. When I was in the service I was about raising hell and when i got out it was my career first. When I finally found the woman I thought was right, I played it slow being cautious that she was the right one. I essentially leased that relationship with the option to buy for 5 years (engaged). However, I quickly found out that early on that my mind was telling me no repeatedly but I thought this is what it took for a long term relationship and it was just a lot of work. I bought into today's feminist belief that has ebbed into the hearts and minds of women all over. The idea that a woman is weak and not equal in a relationship if she follows the path of our mothers and grandmothers. That it is ok to mock your man, put him second before your kids etc. Women today wonder why men become distant and bolt but why would we stick around if we are not needed, mocked by our lover (jockingly or not) and compared unfairly to other men. We are still raised from birth to be disposible, the ones that fight wars, to go down with the ship etc. What has changed is the shaming of masculinity in American culture and I for one reached a breaking point and had enough.


I think what did it for me was my split from my ex 6 years ago. I must have gone on 50 dates at the least. I though the comedies about dating were all over the top and not real. I tell you what fellas. That sh#t is real. I met so many women angry at men, don't need a man but want one, my life sucks and I want you in it, stalkers, feminists, disrespectful women etc. I finally came to a point where I had enough. My target market was widows and I was only 40.


I saw a friend from the military married a filipina and it got me thinking about another friend that married a Colombian. I remembered both of those women had the similar values I was looking for. So that got me hunting online and I came accross sites like this one. I wound up cruising Cherry Blossoms  through scammers for about two months before I found and messaged Ana. Something about her just reached out to me. At first she thought I was a player that would be talking to 4+ women and both of us were on guard. We asked each other probably 400+ screening questions each and neither of us failed once.


The "I love you" probably came within a couple weeks from her. I recall being so hesitant to use that phrase in the past with some women that were probably the winner but slowing down a relationship only to see a woman become quiet and reserved as I knew immediately that she hung it out there. She hung herself out  and I rejected her and the relationship went down hill from there. So I took a leap of faith and never regretted it after. We chatted and skyped 6-7 days a week rarely missing a day. I went through some tough times and knew she was the genuine article. I kept wanting to go see her but something would either come up with work for me. She went through a tough time with an injured relative but She never asked for a dime, only emotional support.


When I arrived I was hesitant at first as any face to face meeting but I think being exhausted from travel and once we were in the cab together things got smoother. We got to the hotel and talked for a few hours and it was just like there was never any distance between us. We were everything each of us thought of the other for so long. I figured out very quickly before even reading "Culture Shock". Filipinas are not the subservient slave in a relationship that many people thing of the stereotype of Southeast Asian brides. They will give you all the support you desire and need and there are expectations to be attentive to their needs as well. For instance, months before our trip she expressed her desire that she definitely wanted to see the Chocolate Hills. Our night out looking at tours, she looked for me to make the decision as filipinas desire confidence. However, she would have been greatly disappointed if we would not have seen them. But this is where their treatment of us also comes into play. My ex's always used to say they wanted to be adored. I truly adore Ana, she truly supports all my wants, needs, decisions and everything I do is for her as she is now my priority before myself and in turn she adores me. So really we have had this cycle going on for 3 years.


So, why delay it? So I could go and take another trip in 6 months to get what, another 9-10 day face time? I see her face every night on my screen and talk to her voice almost every day. 10 days, a month, 3 months of face to face time is not going to make an iota difference. I slow played so many relationships in the past that didn't work out. She is nothing like the women I have been involved with the last 15 years. Leap of faith, we have no doubts of one another.


To top things off a few days ago she sends me this little link that I totally agree with but very few women I have met agree with or are capable of these old values and I treat her with similarly.


https://www.facebook.com/ofofonet/photos/a.188856508136202.1073741828.187967618225091/202251953463324/?type=3



KEEP YOUR HUSBAND
.
EVERY WOMAN SHOULD READ THESE 30 RULES FOR GODLY WOMEN-----------

1). Never raise your voice for any reason to your husband. Its a sign of disrespect.(Prov 15v1)

2). Don't expose your husband's weaknesses toyour family and friends. It will bounce back at you.You are each other's keeper.(Eph 5v12)

3). Never use attitudes and moods to communicate to your husband, you never know how your husband will interpret them. Defensive women don't have a happy home.(Prov 15v13)

4). Never compare your husband to other men, you've no idea what their life is all about. If you attack his Ego, his Love for you will diminish.

5). Never ill treat your husband's friends because you don't like them, the person who's supposed to get rid of them is your husband.(Prov 11v22)

6). Never forget that your husband married you, not your maid or anyone else. Do your duties.(Gen 2v24)

7). Never assign anyone to give attention to your husband, people may do everything else but your husband is your own responsibility.(Eph 5v33)

  . Never blame your husband if he comes back home empty handed. Rather encourage him.(Deut 3v28)

9). Never be a wasteful wife, your husband's sweat is too precious to be wasted.

10). Never pretend to be sick for the purpose of denying your husband sex. You must give it to him how he wants it. Sex is very important to Men, if you keep denying him, it is a matter of time before another woman takes over theat duty. No man can withstand sex starvation for too long(even the anointed ones) (SS 7v12)

11). Never compare your husband to your one time sex mate in bedroom, or an Ex-lover. Your home may Never recover from it if you do.(SS 5v9)

12). Never answer for your husband in public opinion polls, let him handle what is directed to him although he may answer for you in public opinion polls.(Prov 31v23)

13). Never shout or challenge your husband in front of children. Wise Women don't do that.(Eph 4v31)

14). Don't forget to check the smartness of your husband before he checks out.(Prov 12v4)

15). Never allow your friends to be too close to your husband.

16). Never be in a hurry in the bathroom and on the dressing table. Out there your husband is always surrounded by women who took their time on their looks.( 1 Sam25v3)

17). Your parents or family or friends do not have the final say in your marriage. Don't waste your time looking up to them for a final word. You must Leave if you want to Cleave.(Luke 21v16)

18). Never base your love on monetary things. Will you still submit to him even if you earn more money than him?

19). Don't forget that husbands want attention and good listeners, never be too busy for him. Good communication is the bed rock of every happy home. (Gal 6v9)

20). If your idea worked better than his, never compare yourself to him. Its always teamwork.(Gal 6v10)

21). Don't be too judgemental to your husband. No man wants a Nagging wife.(Eph 4v29)

22). A lazy wife is a careless wife. She doesn't even know that her body needs a bath.(Prov 24v27)(Prov 20v13)

23). Does your husband like a kind of cooked food?, try to change your cooking. No man jokes with food. (Prov 31v14)

24). Never be too demanding to your husband,enjoy every moment, resource as it comes.(Luke 11v3)

25). Make a glass of water the very first welcome to your husband and everyone entering your home. Sweetness of attitude is true beauty. (Prov 31v11)

26). Don't associate with women who have a wrong mental attitude about marriage.(Prov 22v14)

27). Your marriage is as valuable to you as the value that you give it. Recklessness is unacceptable.(Heb 13v4)

28). Fruit of the womb is a blessing from the Lord, love your children and teach them well.(Prov 22v6)

29). You are never too old to influence your home. Never reduce your care for your family for any reason. (Prov 31v28)

30). A prayerful wife is a better equipped wife, pray always for your husband and family(1 Thess 5v17)
Have a lovely day..... God bless u all.

[Ray]

Hey Fos,

Great trip report!

What now? Fiancée visa?

Did you get to meet any of her family?


Ray

[robert angel]

Thanks for sharing about your vacation.  Interesting to read that Abu Sayif is penetrating other areas of the Philippines - not just the Mindanao regions...




But I am curious about your post, since you give a quite detailed account of what you did, but excluded the stuff we're mostly interested on this forum - that is: how was your experience with meeting your GF (now fiancee) for the very first time - I'm assuming here.


You're making some big, bold moves - how did you get so certain that this is the one woman for you right out  of the gate???.


Please fill us in - the suspense is killing us   

Yea, I agree some personal details would not only be interesting, but also helpful to the crew here. That said,  Fos is a bit private and wasn't one to put this relationship out in 'the main' for it to be picked apart here.

But he and I stayed in touch and I can vouch it's been years,  not months that he and Ana have used a mutually intelligent,  measured, pragmatic approach and gotten to this point.

Like I've said a 100 times, this ain't no 'shake and bake' quickie recipe if you want it to work. Time reveals a lot about  each other's character,  including truthfullness, consistency and more.

Anybody can look --can sound good for a few weeks, maybe a month or so. But after a while if they're a bit flakey, it's gonna show--IF you're paying attention and not blinded by sheer physical attraction and or willing to 'settle'.

It's amazing how some guys will put up with crap with a woman who's really hot looking--crap that'd make them drop a less attractive woman in a heart beat.

[Fosgate5]

Hey Fos,

Great trip report!

What now? Fiancée visa?

Did you get to meet any of her family?


Ray

Not sure which. Lots in the air now with immigration reform but I think we will wind up doing the K-1 visa. Gotta pay down a bit of revolving debt first. This is the part that has always been a concern to me as I had two former co-workers who married foreigners I have no idea what their visa status was but I know they had difficulties with paperwork, payment etc and both their husbands got deported.


Never got to meet her brother, older sister or mother (her father passes away of a heart attack 4 years ago.). Ana is From the Payo area on Mindanao and her brother and sister both live in Zamboanga. The areas are no travel recommended areas. If I wanted to go there it would take some extensive planning and coordination to maintain a low profile and still no guarantee for my safety. Probably just easier to put the family on a ferry and meet at a resort off island somewhere. They are all pretty understanding.

[Fosgate5]

Yea, I agree some personal details would not only be interesting, but also helpful to the crew here. That said,  Fos is a bit private and wasn't one to put this relationship out in 'the main' for it to be picked apart here.

But he and I stayed in touch and I can vouch it's been years,  not months that he and Ana have used a mutually intelligent,  measured, pragmatic approach and gotten to this point.

Like I've said a 100 times, this ain't no 'shake and bake' quickie recipe if you want it to work. Time reveals a lot about  each other's character,  including truthfullness, consistency and more.

Anybody can look --can sound good for a few weeks, maybe a month or so. But after a while if they're a bit flakey, it's gonna show--IF you're paying attention and not blinded by sheer physical attraction and or willing to 'settle'.

It's amazing how some guys will put up with crap with a woman who's really hot looking--crap that'd make them drop a less attractive woman in a heart beat.

Very true with what Robert said. I typically don't hang much out there about myself and my privacy to many people. I avoid telling co workers where I live, friends on facebook etc. I grew up in a small town where everyone knew what you were doing, where you worked, how much you made etc. Quickly learned in my lines of work that it is best to secure your privacy. I've let very few people know about Ana and I so when I came back and announced it to the people in my world it was clearly a shock to many people and the whispers went out.




The first thing out of peoples mouths were "Where did you meet...?" from women. These are typically family or friends who have not really bothered to call or visit since I moved several years ago. I really had not been prepared for the responses and I the first couple were just an odd question and answer session like more an interrogation before I would get what felt like an insincere congratulations. My thought at the end is a couple things. I think, "How offensive is that? Like I need your interrogation to justify your approval. If you really gave a sh#t about my life you would have called or visited me in the last three years knowing I don't post much of facebook." I think I went through that twice, but realized they probably don't know they are being rude. So I have a new response. Anyone who knows me knows the occasional dark humor I occasionally turn toward that I picked up in the Army. You know with the foreign relation they are thinking "Mail order bride, Sex tourist" are the big two things the subconsciously want to know. So I call them out on their rude thought process. It usually goes something like this.


"Well, I met up with an old army buddy that married a Filipina. Me and him used to hang out back in the day and take the train to red light district and bang hookers. A couple of times we saw a Filipino Mail order bride catalog when we went there. Well, 20 years go by and we ran into each other a few years ago and he ran across that rag and that is how he found his wife. He has a current copy and low and behold on the inside front cover is where I found Ana. I went over there and met her and 6 other prospects that I worked my way through and she came out on top (wink wink nudge nudge)." Then I wait for their response and most realize I'm pulling their chain, others are picking their jaw off the floor and I tell them if you really think that is true you don't really know me.


That's when I go through starting out how after my last long term relationship ended I was in a college health class. The instructor asked the question how many people had dated someone they met online. Me and one other person in the class of 50 had our hands down. I was in shock, I thought there was such a stigma behind online dating yet here are all these young attractive people dating people they met online. I started dating online and just found that dating through "Plenty O fish" was like any comedy movie about dating as each one was like the next date in Deuce Bigalow Male Jiggalo and had the attitude I mentioned previously. I was about to throw in the towel and I recall the guy I knew in the Army that recently had a child with his filipina wife, the friends who's neighbors brother married a Columbian. That's when I chatted with my old buddy and turned me onto this site and a couple others where I eventually approached Ana...." I look them in the eyes with confidence and tell them how much she makes me be a better person and the adoration we have for one another. That's when I get the genuine, "congrats! Keep us in the loop..." but you can see they are happy for you.




 [size=78%] [/size]

[Hector_Lavoe]

Congrats Fogsgate. That is a long trek from South Dakota to Denver to the Philippines.

[Hector_Lavoe]

KEEP YOUR HUSBAND
.
EVERY WOMAN SHOULD READ THESE 30 RULES FOR GODLY WOMEN-----------

1). Never raise your voice for any reason to your husband. Its a sign of disrespect.(Prov 15v1)

2). Don't expose your husband's weaknesses toyour family and friends. It will bounce back at you.You are each other's keeper.(Eph 5v12)

3). Never use attitudes and moods to communicate to your husband, you never know how your husband will interpret them. Defensive women don't have a happy home.(Prov 15v13)

4). Never compare your husband to other men, you've no idea what their life is all about. If you attack his Ego, his Love for you will diminish.

5). Never ill treat your husband's friends because you don't like them, the person who's supposed to get rid of them is your husband.(Prov 11v22)

6). Never forget that your husband married you, not your maid or anyone else. Do your duties.(Gen 2v24)

7). Never assign anyone to give attention to your husband, people may do everything else but your husband is your own responsibility.(Eph 5v33)

  . Never blame your husband if he comes back home empty handed. Rather encourage him.(Deut 3v28)

9). Never be a wasteful wife, your husband's sweat is too precious to be wasted.

10). Never pretend to be sick for the purpose of denying your husband sex. You must give it to him how he wants it. Sex is very important to Men, if you keep denying him, it is a matter of time before another woman takes over theat duty. No man can withstand sex starvation for too long(even the anointed ones) (SS 7v12)

11). Never compare your husband to your one time sex mate in bedroom, or an Ex-lover. Your home may Never recover from it if you do.(SS 5v9)

12). Never answer for your husband in public opinion polls, let him handle what is directed to him although he may answer for you in public opinion polls.(Prov 31v23)

13). Never shout or challenge your husband in front of children. Wise Women don't do that.(Eph 4v31)

14). Don't forget to check the smartness of your husband before he checks out.(Prov 12v4)

15). Never allow your friends to be too close to your husband.

16). Never be in a hurry in the bathroom and on the dressing table. Out there your husband is always surrounded by women who took their time on their looks.( 1 Sam25v3)

17). Your parents or family or friends do not have the final say in your marriage. Don't waste your time looking up to them for a final word. You must Leave if you want to Cleave.(Luke 21v16)

18). Never base your love on monetary things. Will you still submit to him even if you earn more money than him?

19). Don't forget that husbands want attention and good listeners, never be too busy for him. Good communication is the bed rock of every happy home. (Gal 6v9)

20). If your idea worked better than his, never compare yourself to him. Its always teamwork.(Gal 6v10)

21). Don't be too judgemental to your husband. No man wants a Nagging wife.(Eph 4v29)

22). A lazy wife is a careless wife. She doesn't even know that her body needs a bath.(Prov 24v27)(Prov 20v13)

23). Does your husband like a kind of cooked food?, try to change your cooking. No man jokes with food. (Prov 31v14)

24). Never be too demanding to your husband,enjoy every moment, resource as it comes.(Luke 11v3)

25). Make a glass of water the very first welcome to your husband and everyone entering your home. Sweetness of attitude is true beauty. (Prov 31v11)

26). Don't associate with women who have a wrong mental attitude about marriage.(Prov 22v14)

27). Your marriage is as valuable to you as the value that you give it. Recklessness is unacceptable.(Heb 13v4)

28). Fruit of the womb is a blessing from the Lord, love your children and teach them well.(Prov 22v6)

29). You are never too old to influence your home. Never reduce your care for your family for any reason. (Prov 31v28)

30). A prayerful wife is a better equipped wife, pray always for your husband and family(1 Thess 5v17)
Have a lovely day..... God bless u all.

If you are rigorously applying the above in your own life as it relates to your fiancé/future wife then I say fine.

If this is something that only the wife has to vouch for then I would have to respectfully disagree and say the list is bogus.

[robert angel]

"Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don’t matter and those who matter don’t mind."

[robert angel]

If you are rigorously applying the above in your own life as it relates to your fiancé/future wife then I say fine.

If this is something that only the wife has to vouch for then I would have to respectfully disagree and say the list is bogus.

Not sure where one would see or assume that what's written in that list is completely exclusive to one spouse, in this case, the woman.

That said, traditional Filipinas do differentiate the roles and the duties they personally feel obliged to adhere to as well as what they expect from their men--their husbands. Guys are granted more freedom generally--that's just the way it is. I am an active, incorrigible flirt with women, she averts her eyes when other men are around, especially if she senses they're 'checking her out.' Just the way it is---she knows I am not going to take it too far, not have an affair. Often their mindset is reflective of what they saw growing up.

I'll bet you dollars to donuts that Fos couldn't help but notice all the lovely, smiling Filipinas during his visit (but probably tried to) and that Ana never got pissy, never got cold and silent--a behavior amongst Filipinas known as "tampo"-- where the woman is silent, cold, but not overtly angry and the guy needs to (not always easy) figure out what he did and how to get past it.

But the guy, in this case the male 'asawa' (spouse) --again--- he is also expected to fulfill HIS role as head of the household. His leash is a bit longer, but rest assured, if he gets to the end of it, there will be payback, maybe even hell.

One of the best characteristics of a traditional Filipina is she makes the guy feel like he's the 'boss' and that his 'yes' or 'no' on a wide range of decisions is the law. That said, they're usually able to discreetly let their husband know what they want and how they feel. I didn't really want to rip up the rugs in our house and put in wood floors, but it's a nice, open and cleaner look and I clearly knew my wife wanted it. But she never nagged and she waited a long time, which probably made her happier in the end.

She will wait until we're out of earshot of my children or the party we just left, before telling me what a stupid, boneheaded thing I did or said back there, perhaps me insulting people and embarassing her.

But agood Filipina will never make her husband look bad in public, as it makes her look worse. Same with appearance. I have gotten into mild arguments because the GAP Tee shirt and jeans I wanted to wear--really any clothing---needed (in her eyes and mind)  to be ironed--or 'reironed'. Didn't matter if we were going out together or me alone. She'd say to me: " People will look at you and think I don't CARE!!!"--crazy but oh, so true.

But on any given day, my wife asks if it's OK for her to meet a girlfriend for lunch,  if she can go to store for groceries, go to mall or gym alone etc. Not that she cares to go anywhere, save for a visit with a select few married women I approve of, without me.

She asks if her clothes are OK for work or when we go out. Last night she asked if we could attend birthday party at a family's home who we hardly know.

9999 out of 10,000 times, I'm fine with what she asks -- her asking is really more of a formality, a measure of respect and I routinely say "yes, sure Hon"....

I take that back--a few times recently, I've told her when as usual she's asked if something's OK, that her dress slacks or top for work had shrunk a bit much in the dryer (maybe the three or four pounds she's gained in the last 16 years contributed too) and that they were a bit too tight for my taste, that she'd should consider changing them. She does.

In the past couple years, she's begun experimenting a bit with make up. The fashion now is thicker eye brows--hell, some women look like they have black caterpillars over their eyes these days---pick up a fashion magazine--she's very aware of 'fashion' and 'taste'.

Over time, she kept asking me, quietly but increasingly, to get rid of all my pleated 'grandpa' dress pants and to wear slimmer cut slacks, to get rid of tacky Hawaiian and plaid shirts, etc. I'd put one on, she'd pull out a fresh pressed 'stylin' one she more preferred--I eventually agreed. 

She uses a quality eye brow pencil a bit now and always, always puts on so little, then seeks my approval. Took her years amazingly to ask me to shave my mustache off--most Filipinas prefer a clean look.

Same with her and lipstick. She refuses to wear any bright 'fire engine red' type, no 'wet look' lipstick. She'll use a much lighter tone, then it's hilarious, because before she/we get to where we're going,  she's been dabbing her lips with kleeenex,  'toning it down' to the point where nobody can tell she's got any make up or lipstick on. A little worried, a little vain, she'll wear the damn car visor mirror out en route, worried she might look like some 'painted lady' of ill repute.

All this said, her considerably younger sisters are a bit more liberal with lipstick and as long as their Mom doesn't mind--it matters even though they've finished college movrd out and have careers, they have even on occasion, lightened their hair a bit, etc.

Sign of the times...

Her two sisters are going to make some lucky, lucky guys very happy men, I tell you.

Even in college, it was just a little baby powder on her face to fight the brutal heat and a little, moisturizing lip gloss. She looks GREAT 'au naturale'--just like the very talented musical artist, Alicia Keyes, who now goes without make up.

I can only imagine what fellow 'Voice' TV talent show performer, Gwen Stefani, would look like w/o all that make up and plastic surgery...

A good Filipina looks great w/o make up, sleeping next to you, without even trying.

Yet she spends a small fortune on skin moisturizers and collegen facial masks that she applies to my face as well. Sunday nights, after ironing our clothes for the week (she insists on cotton clothes) and preparing my lunches in advance, she often has a collegen mask on both our faces and she'll then take an hour to an hour and half, manicuring and polishing my fingernails, pedicuring my toenails. Sets me up with the TV remote, as I'm 'captive'. I offer to spend $35-$40 to send her to a nail shop, but she'll maybe do that twice a year. Waste of money, she figures.

She does splurge on perfume, but again, uses it very sparingly---nothing strong --Dolce & Gabbana Light Blue or Chanel Madmoiselle. But, maybe feeling a bit guilty, she'll drop $250 out of her 'personal, disposable allowance' from her salary, like she did last week, to keep me in Christian Dior 'Eau De Homme' and LaCoste 'Pure.'

Personally, I'm amazed that after knowing her sixteen years and being married going on twelve years,  that she's still that old fashioned. She's seen a whole lot of the USA and we've traveled a lot, seen a lot of materialism, seen how facebook has become for some an obsession, one that makes some people envy others.

No, she's no dumb, blind robot,  not a lemming who'd follow me if I jumped off a cliff. She's got two, five year bachelor's degrees in both computer hard and software engineering ---all credits accepted here in the USA. She works in a very USA style , large corporation and manuevers well, killing them with kindness and as a 'team player'----Filipinos usually are 'team players', but she won't take stupid crap from her peers. Sometimes they interpret being 'nice' with being 'weak' and she's straightened a few out.

I've never physically hit her, but I've joked a number if times, raising my hand when she's aggravated me: "Why....I ought to....." --Her reply? "Go ahead, and then talk to my lawyer." But I bet if she ever did something 'bad' and I spanked her--as they sometimes do back home, it'd be fine. No need though.

If a guy married to a traditional Filipina can't lead, is a drunk or doper who won't shape  up, is a  guy who abuses his wife and or the children, has multiple affairs, rest assured that all the above 'nicieties' will go out the window.

After all, she follows her role, probably has good moral standards and expects you perform your role's duties and uphold somewhat similar standards. If you don't, aside from if it's because of medical reasons that you can't fulfill your 'duties', the deal may very well be off.

In such a case, a good Filipina will roll up her sleeves, find work and a place to live, support herself and if the case, the children too. She'll take the leadership role you couldn't handle.

If Filipinos are anything, they are survivors, with the ability to live anywhere on earth, from the frozen tundra to the hot humid south, be it a city or rural area. Survive on next to nothing. Without complaining, whining or acting like the world owes them some 'due' that they're entitled to.

My wife is totally appalled by able bodied people who won't work but who have a roof, food and more, basically handed to them--and then have 'attitudes' to boot.

They will adapt, acclimate to their situation and get done what has to get done. I can't tell you how many Filipinas I've seen who left total bums, jerks and with out high paying jobs or child support, raised several kids, all well mannered, well dressed children, somehow putting them through college.

When it comes to family, for a good Filipina, there is no sacrifice that's too great, so the old adage: "You marry a Filipina, you also marry her family" is likely to be true, to differing extents.  No you shouldn't be expected to allow her to support free loading family members or enabling their helplessness, but especially for helping them get through school to become self supportive, to help pay for medical care--don't be expected if that comes up.

OK, tit for tat--is the above description/s of a wife very similar to what a guy might expect from a Colombiana, South American or a Latina wife in general???

Dying to know....

[pachris]

 Posting on this old thread solely because I see that Fosgate5 is from South Dakota which was my home state for the first 20 some odd years of my life.  Sioux Falls area but my folks were from the Gregory and Winner areas.  Since leaving SD in 1997 I've lived in Illinois, Georgia and now am located in Panama. Anyway, it's cool to see another fellow Dakotan (is that even a word?). Now to go poke around to see what happened next in your story!

[robert angel]

Very true with what Robert said. I typically don't hang much out there about myself and my privacy to many people. I avoid telling co workers where I live, friends on facebook etc. I grew up in a small town where everyone knew what you were doing, where you worked, how much you made etc. Quickly learned in my lines of work that it is best to secure your privacy. I've let very few people know about Ana and I so when I came back and announced it to the people in my world it was clearly a shock to many people and the whispers went out.




The first thing out of peoples mouths were "Where did you meet...?" from women. These are typically family or friends who have not really bothered to call or visit since I moved several years ago. I really had not been prepared for the responses and I the first couple were just an odd question and answer session like more an interrogation before I would get what felt like an insincere congratulations. My thought at the end is a couple things. I think, "How offensive is that? Like I need your interrogation to justify your approval. If you really gave a sh#t about my life you would have called or visited me in the last three years knowing I don't post much of facebook." I think I went through that twice, but realized they probably don't know they are being rude. So I have a new response. Anyone who knows me knows the occasional dark humor I occasionally turn toward that I picked up in the Army. You know with the foreign relation they are thinking "Mail order bride, Sex tourist" are the big two things the subconsciously want to know. So I call them out on their rude thought process. It usually goes something like this.


"Well, I met up with an old army buddy that married a Filipina. Me and him used to hang out back in the day and take the train to red light district and bang hookers. A couple of times we saw a Filipino Mail order bride catalog when we went there. Well, 20 years go by and we ran into each other a few years ago and he ran across that rag and that is how he found his wife. He has a current copy and low and behold on the inside front cover is where I found Ana. I went over there and met her and 6 other prospects that I worked my way through and she came out on top (wink wink nudge nudge)." Then I wait for their response and most realize I'm pulling their chain, others are picking their jaw off the floor and I tell them if you really think that is true you don't really know me.


That's when I go through starting out how after my last long term relationship ended I was in a college health class. The instructor asked the question how many people had dated someone they met online. Me and one other person in the class of 50 had our hands down. I was in shock, I thought there was such a stigma behind online dating yet here are all these young attractive people dating people they met online. I started dating online and just found that dating through "Plenty O fish" was like any comedy movie about dating as each one was like the next date in Deuce Bigalow Male Jiggalo and had the attitude I mentioned previously. I was about to throw in the towel and I recall the guy I knew in the Army that recently had a child with his filipina wife, the friends who's neighbors brother married a Columbian. That's when I chatted with my old buddy and turned me onto this site and a couple others where I eventually approached Ana...." I look them in the eyes with confidence and tell them how much she makes me be a better person and the adoration we have for one another. That's when I get the genuine, "congrats! Keep us in the loop..." but you can see they are happy for you.




 [size=78%] [/size]

99.9% of other people don't have a a clue about the realities of pursuing a relationship long distance--overseas. To some of them, it's akin to 'aiding and comforting the enemy'

So that's NOT to say they don't have their own conceptions in their noggins, 'misconceptions' probably being a better choice of word.

And if they're jealous, maybe even annoyed that you dare think outside the more typical box, never mind along racial lines, there's a good chance they're gonna dump on you in person and even worse, moreso behind your back.

With people who say snarky things to your face, generally multiply it in terms of how many more additional people they'll say the same, probably even worse crap to.


So never forget, it's about YOU and HER, your very lives--not about THEM.

It's inevitable that you have to tell some people, but my advice is to minimize it and weigh what you say to whom.

It's gonna be spun around and distorted by some, so exercise 'spin control' or your 'lady to be' may wonder why people you know are acting as they do, once she gets here.

My paperwork, due to my being a lazy ass and reading more complexity into it than there was (not to say there isn't complexity and ambiguity with USCIS--and unfair shi!t obviously happens sometimes) but it went on so long that some of my wife's so called 'friends' and a few relatives outside the immediate family who hadn't met me, told my wife, then fiancee, that I was never going to 'come and get her' that I was basically stringing her along. They relished in such unclassy trash talk.

If you think those kind of people love a good love story, let me tell you that they not only love a good train wreck more, but they're happy to grease the tracks, rubbing their hands with glee all the while, with 'I told you so's' being pre-rehearsed in their narrow minds.

But again, some people simply aren't comfortable with others being happy, especially if it's in a situation different than what they're familiar with.

We might as well be space oddities to many of those malcontents--misery loves company, and fodder---so don't feed their misery.

[Wildstubby]

I was up to visit my sister and brother-in-law this weekend. They were asking me about my gf. Mostly general questions. But they both told me, that if it makes me and my gf happy, then what anyone else thinks doesn't really matter!