What Every Latina Should Know, Before Dating a Foreign Man.

[MariaJBueno]

Please share your thoughts. and GO!

[Gato4Astrid]

No, they won't know... they are all stubborn and they think they are always right. 

[Awesome]

The English language.

[mambocowboy]

Please share your thoughts. and GO!

Our culture is more structured and "jodido" than theirs. We have many more rules here, and even though we make more money here, we do actually work hard for it and the cost of living here is a lot more than over there...also, we don't have the same sense of community. In my wife' s Barranquilla neighborhood, neighbors drop in on each other all the time, whereas here in suburbia , "no hay Gente in la Calle."

[robert angel]

Our culture is more structured and "jodido" than theirs. We have many more rules here, and even though we make more money here, we do actually work hard for it and the cost of living here is a lot more than over there...also, we don't have the same sense of community. In my wife' s Barranquilla neighborhood, neighbors drop in on each other all the time, whereas here in suburbia , "no hay Gente in la Calle."

It's often hard for people from outside the USA, especially from non first world nations, to 'scale' USA monetary income and life style against their own. There's a misconception amongst a lot of people there to think if you're working in the USA, that you're basically rich. Some people abroad even have the bulk of their perceptions of life in the USA based on what they see in movies and on television. And off of Facebook, which shows the good times a lot more than the work hours, the hassles of paying bills, the rat race stress, etc.

It's to the point where in many cases I'd advise guys who have foreign wives who work, to tell them not to come right out and tell their own family exactly how much they earn. In some cases if they do and then the family mentions it back home, bragging in the old neighborhood, it causes even greater hassles when she goes home. People left and right may come forward, asking for money for food, medical care, etc. Or they can be targeted for extortion or worse.

No matter how much she tries to tell them how much things like taxes, insurance, cable TV, cell phone and Internet cost here, they're still gonna think she's living high on the hog in the land of milk and honey. They'll look at the currency exchange conversion of dollars into their own currency, see that in their currency it's a huge amount that only lucky, 'well off'  people make. They might want to set up businesses. And they're probably gonna expect her to send some of that 'good fortune' back home to 'help' or otherwise be viewed as stingy.

We've been fortunate in our marriage, but it's not only because her family isn't too needy and is far from greedy, but because we've measured our words. We've helped my wife's brothers and sisters get thru college and obtain decent paying work abroad, which in the short term costs us some, but in the long run saves us money, as all the siblings can help out their Mom. She's not really poor, but her money's tied up in a lot of land and we want to send her to places like the USA, Japan, Hong Kong and Dubai while she's still healthy enough to travel.

But money, whether or not you agree or not as it being the 'root of all evil', it's hard to argue against it being a potential pain in the ass in cross cultural marriages.

Hell, even amongst families all based in the USA, most people who hit it really big in the lottery often find it screws up their lives big time. Too much or too little, money's a weird thing...

[mambocowboy]

It's often hard for people from outside the USA, especially from non first world nations, to 'scale' USA monetary income and life style against their own. There's a misconception amongst a lot of people there to think if you're working in the USA, that you're basically rich. Some people abroad even have the bulk of their perceptions of life in the USA based on what they see in movies and on television. And off of Facebook, which shows the good times a lot more than the work hours, the hassles of paying bills, the rat race stress, etc.

It's to the point where in many cases I'd advise guys who have foreign wives who work, to tell them not to come right out and tell their own family exactly how much they earn. In some cases if they do and then the family mentions it back home, bragging in the old neighborhood, it causes even greater hassles when she goes home. People left and right may come forward, asking for money for food, medical care, etc. Or they can be targeted for extortion or worse.

No matter how much she tries to tell them how much things like taxes, insurance, cable TV, cell phone and Internet cost here, they're still gonna think she's living high on the hog in the land of milk and honey. They'll look at the currency exchange conversion of dollars into their own currency, see that in their currency it's a huge amount that only lucky, 'well off'  people make. They might want to set up businesses. And they're probably gonna expect her to send some of that 'good fortune' back home to 'help' or otherwise be viewed as stingy.

We've been fortunate in our marriage, but it's not only because her family isn't too needy and is far from greedy, but because we've measured our words. We've helped my wife's brothers and sisters get thru college and obtain decent paying work abroad, which in the short term costs us some, but in the long run saves us money, as all the siblings can help out their Mom. She's not really poor, but her money's tied up in a lot of land and we want to send her to places like the USA, Japan, Hong Kong and Dubai while she's still healthy enough to travel.

But money, whether or not you agree or not as it being the 'root of all evil', it's hard to argue against it being a potential pain in the ass in cross cultural marriages.

Hell, even amongst families all based in the USA, most people who hit it really big in the lottery often find it screws up their lives big time. Too much or too little, money's a weird thing...

So true. My wife explains over and over to her family how expensive everything is here, but I think they still think money grows on trees here....

[Calipro]

Please share your thoughts. and GO!

What every latina should know before she gets to the U.S is....she will be worth 10 times more once she gets here....kind of like cocaine.


I see good looking guys in their late 30's to yearly 40's marring women here that aren't all that attractive and worst have some other guys kids.


Even celebrities do it.....look at Jamie Fox hooking up with Katie Holmes.....good looking black guy can't find anything better than Tom Cruises ex-wife that has his kid.


If Katie Holmes asked me to marry her I would ask her " how much are you going to pay me?".  And rumor has it that Jamie Foxx a millionaire that could have any number of hot chicks goes for Tom's old lady. jajaja


I used to like Kid Rock until he married Pamela Anderson.....some thing....successful buy marries washed up Hoe with someone else's children. Just sends the wrong message to young guys everywhere.


Guys like to complain about American women but if they acted like Colombian men the divorce rate would be cut in half....you don't see Colombian guys running to marry a woman with another guys children.


American men have very little self respect anymore.

[Jedimaster]

What every latina should know before she gets to the U.S is....she will be worth 10 times more once she gets here....kind of like cocaine.


I see good looking guys in their late 30's to yearly 40's marring women here that aren't all that attractive and worst have some other guys kids.


Even celebrities do it.....look at Jamie Fox hooking up with Katie Holmes.....good looking black guy can't find anything better than Tom Cruises ex-wife that has his kid.


If Katie Holmes asked me to marry her I would ask her " how much are you going to pay me?".  And rumor has it that Jamie Foxx a millionaire that could have any number of hot chicks goes for Tom's old lady. jajaja


I used to like Kid Rock until he married Pamela Anderson.....some thing....successful buy marries washed up Hoe with someone else's children. Just sends the wrong message to young guys everywhere.


Guys like to complain about American women but if they acted like Colombian men the divorce rate would be cut in half....you don't see Colombian guys running to marry a woman with another guys children.


American men have very little self respect anymore.

I agree, the complete lack of self respect that American men have nowadays is disgraceful.  When you combine the American mans lack of self respect with their obsessive need to pedestalize American women what you get is a situation where American women are way overvalued.


Ive also seen handsome guys in their 30s and 40s marry women that are average looking and in some cases just flat out ugly.  Sad commentary that American men will settle for so much less

[fathertime]

Ive also seen handsome guys in their 30s and 40s marry women that are average looking and in some cases just flat out ugly.  Sad commentary that American men will settle for so much less

When I was still a teenager, I wondered how the hell I'd ever survive if I wound up with a woman that became old and unattractive.  I kinda thought that was how it had to be, and I didn't like the prospect at all.  I imagine other men don't really care. 
I've been able to avoid the situation I didn't want to this point.


Fathertime!

[buencamino3]

When they're pedestalized they're much taller too which of course would actually help a lot of Latinas.

[MariaJBueno]

I'm Loving it!! Keep them coming...


[size=78%] [/size]
Thank you!

[utopiacowboy]

Before dating an American, she needs to know that the US is a nation in decline that is steadily becoming a Third World country. She should also know that as a Latina she will be hated by most white people in the country and if she is a person of color, that will give them one more reason to hate her. She should also know that the US is a country on the verge of civil war with most people in various areas of the country despising each other and arming themselves for the violence to come.

[buencamino3]

In other words Armageddon is nigh. Well that's an interesting perspective and one that's hard to disagree with. I'm awfully glad I'm not there.

[mudd]

even the usa has poor people
money isnt easy to come by, you actually have to work for it and save it and not spend every dollar you make
we hate it when your late, it shows lack of respect and or laziness.
learn some english before going to usa or other country
yes, we plan to do things and plan for a future and done live " for the monent"
we dont dance well  because most when kids in school, play sports, we dont have a disco in our " barrios" where we live, is why most american men can play baseball, basketball, football, soccer, tennis, most sports well, where most colombian men can only dance and soccer.


just a few things,

[Awesome]

When I was still a teenager, I wondered how the hell I'd ever survive if I wound up with a woman that became old and unattractive.  I kinda thought that was how it had to be, and I didn't like the prospect at all.  I imagine other men don't really care. 
I've been able to avoid the situation I didn't want to this point.


Fathertime!

With all due respect your outlook seems extremely shallow.  As much as guys on this board go on and on about finding a "hot" wife, true love and a real marriage should stay strong no matter what your other half looks like.


FT weren't you married before?  Did you just dump your ex when her looks started to fade?  Are you going to do the same with the wife you currently have?


To be honest I have the same exact fear that at some point my (future) wife will one day grow old and unattractive, but I don't plan on falling out of love with her or leaving her.  I'll just find me a young, pretty chick to have on the side, probably a sugardaddy type set-up.  That's if I even have the testosterone levels to still desire or be able to handle a young hottie.

[robert angel]

Before dating an American, she needs to know that the US is a nation in decline that is steadily becoming a Third World country. She should also know that as a Latina she will be hated by most white people in the country and if she is a person of color, that will give them one more reason to hate her. She should also know that the US is a country on the verge of civil war with most people in various areas of the country despising each other and arming themselves for the violence to come.

With all due respect and coming from a different part of the nation, I think you're taking it a bit far. That said, maybe where you live it's like that--but my 'thinking' is hard to qualify in reference to where you're coming from. Your geography, your reality, is different than mine.

Where we live in Georgia, there's still so much bad blood between blacks and whites that the Latinos/Hispanics and Asians are sort of not factored in that much. I think there's a begrudging respect for the significant number of Mexicans who work trades, like building, construction, restaurant work and agriculture, but also some simmering resentment re illegal immigration, as if the rest of the 'legal populace' would run to take those jobs. Hell, in Georgia, the minimum wage is still $5.15 an hour for those businesses not subject to the Federal Govt's FLSA (Fair Labor Standards Act)---It's been like that w/o a raise since 2009.

Civil war? You probably remember Father Time's long, long running thread predicting riots in the streets and things falling apart by 2013. Not to say it couldn't happen, but I think we're a ways off if anything. But our dollar's value is positioned on sand that's washing away. Our own perception about our situation is much more dumbly optimistic than is the way most of the rest of the world does, the way the 1st, 2nd and 3rd world, sees our situation. If they don't hate us, they worry about us and about what's happening. Most north Americans believe the BS the media here feeds us.

It's concievable that we could have a monetary collapse. But while we're (currently) the world's 'Reserve Currency' which means almost all nations must produce US dollars to pay for major international goods, the growing preception that we're cranking out $$$$$$ lIke a paper mill turns out toilet paper is increasing. As is the knowledge that since the first Bush administration, that we don't have to legally tell the anyone how much the mint's rolling out. Scary.

But most first world nations are also playing fast and easy, like using smoke and mirrors, lIving in increasing debt. It's become 'the way of the world'. As bad  as we know it is, it's actually much more dire than we realize, but we're either blind or in denial. I can't think of a single nation that backs it's currency with gold and silver anymore. It's like a mix of fantasy land and a nightmare.

Furthermore, I don't think there's anything relevant in history to compare it too, nothing that genuinely and clearly, based on previous examples, shows us how it's all gonna pan out. Not Rome, not post WWI Germany. We're in uncharted territory and what maps, reports and predictions that are being fed to us are half baked at best.


 I must say that personally, I don't feel too good about it. I've worked for money since I was 5 or 6 years old. The other night I figured I've made a couple milllion dollars over my lifetime so far, mostly living in places with reasonable cost of living and have little to show for it (but I've had a lot of fun!!) Our house is barely 2/3's paid off. And thinking of retirement being possible in the next year or two, I wonder how well positioned I am with my USD based liquid cash, similarily based (USD) retirement investments, a pension and Social Security. It all could concievably become severely devalued, effectively ruining my plans of a comfortable retirement, one where I don't work but still get an annual 3%+ increase of income. Instead, I could see it go flushing down the toilet.

And never mind the doomsday predicters, the books and infomercials, they're simply isn't a lot we can do to reposition ourselves to avoid gettIng burned if it comes to that. Not bitcoins, not diamonds, metals--none of the present indicators. And let's be honest, does anybody still awake reading this (unlikely) REALLY think we can ever pay off our debt? NOT!

If the USD's no good, it won't suit me too well anywhere else in the world-- -we'll all be going to hell together in the same, big haybasket. Maybe a little better in some 3rd world outposts, but probably not even there.

But if and when a day comes when the money's no good, it'll be a dangerous world, one where bartering and using trades--and the ability to fix and do/supply certain things and services, will become valuable. I realize now what gold and silver we have will be of little utility in such a case. What are you gonna do with it---trade for money? Make nails--bullets? 

While previous history doesn't apply itself well to our present predicament and predicting outcomes, it gives pause to recall that in post WWI Germany, the money became so worthless that they burned it in stoves to boil water because it was less valuable than wood. I have a stack of half billion Deutch mark currency bills out in the garage, to attest to it---I am actually a collector of obsolete currency, such as Khmer Rouge Cambodian paper currency, money that China minted for them, not realizing the Khmer Rouge were going to a non monetary civilization, where they turned the clock and calendar back to zero and targeted for death people who could read or wore eyglasses. DIdn't turn out too well. Want some pre desert storm Iraqi dinar notes with Saddam Hussain's visage on them? I got a whole shoebox full!

"Man is one of few species that eats it's own"

In the worst of times, guns will become very desirable and ammunition will probably become a currency of sorts--perhaps last resorts. Never mind American Express credit cards---Don't leave home without it!!

And other than having simpler needs, desires and infrastructures, I think 2nd and 3rd world countries      would be in just as bad a spot as first world countries.

Most 'first world' countries in reality don't build, don't make and export a lot of (besides food) of what is consumed therin. It's just so much cheaper to import it all from China and other nations. What does create wealth and drive 1st world economies is ideas---"intellectual property"--insurance, banking, drugs, technology and inventions, the later which we rely on poorer nations to build for us. So, what's driving our first world economies would probably not be particularly useful in the advent of a monetary collapse. Our whole existence is basically predicated on money.

I think the next 'Great Depression' will actually be global, in scope, that perhaps the one thing that's still true to some extent is the old adage: "When the USA sneezes, the rest of the world catches pneumonia ". And yes, that includes China and Russia too.

As long as we continue to use the rest of the world's energy--oil, gas etc., while we drill and cap and store other vital resources, using up everyone else's before using our own and as long as vast oceans keep us separated, (never mind intercontinental missiles--they'll still need/hope we rebound) we'll all suffer. Warfare against other nations on our own soil is probably unlikely.

But us fighting amongst ourselves to some extent is possible, and we are by and large, an overly spoiled nation, where deservedly or not, too many of us feel a sense of 'entitlement' and being already numb to violence and well armed to boot, some bad sh!t could happen. Strong fences, gates, guns and chicken coops have never been bad ideas....

[Awesome]

I agree, the complete lack of self respect that American men have nowadays is disgraceful.  When you combine the American mans lack of self respect with their obsessive need to pedestalize American women what you get is a situation where American women are way overvalued.


Ive also seen handsome guys in their 30s and 40s marry women that are average looking and in some cases just flat out ugly.  Sad commentary that American men will settle for so much less

I see just as many attractive American women with unattractive men, so it works both ways.  And I definitely don't see American women as being "overvalued".  That's just an excuse used by men who are unsuccessful with women.  They want to blame their failure and frustration on something other than their own inadequacies.  I don't think I possess any special or outstanding qualities and I pull hot American chicks with the greatest of ease.

[robert angel]

I notice more cases where if she's fat, so is he--- if he or she is fit (although not as common) so is the other,  if he's dressed shabby and is toothless, so is she. More common than people looking like their dog, but I see that too. But in the USA, I don't see a great deal of cases where body types amongst married couples is all that different. Even though the age difference between my wife and I is unescapably evident, we're both in pretty good shape.

[Jedimaster]

I see just as many attractive American women with unattractive men, so it works both ways.  And I definitely don't see American women as being "overvalued".  That's just an excuse used by men who are unsuccessful with women.  They want to blame their failure and frustration on something other than their own inadequacies.  I don't think I possess any special or outstanding qualities and I pull hot American chicks with the greatest of ease.

Awesome/ htown


Well, I see the manginas have a new spokesperson.  Serioiusly you should think things through before you post this garbage.  If American women are fairly valued or ¨hot as you claim they are then why arent Colombian guys (or guys from other LA countries) coming to the US to meet them.  And even more to the point, why are you traveling to Colombia to meet Colombian women when you ¨pull hot American chicks with the greatest of ease?¨


I see on a post upthread you took the moral high ground on FT then turned right around and boasted how you would cheat on your future wife by having a ¨young,pretty chick on the side¨ You accuse FT of being shallow yet you would be shallow by getting a "young, pretty chick to have on the side".  Indeed, hypocrisy at its finest. 

Again think before you post.  I totally understand why all these other posters want you to stop posting here on PL

[fathertime]

With all due respect your outlook seems extremely shallow.  As much as guys on this board go on and on about finding a "hot" wife, true love and a real marriage should stay strong no matter what your other half looks like.

Well I was a teenager and quite shallow I'm sure.  I might still be...as I approach 50 I care a little less about looks though...I find that I'm too busy to care that much anymore....but I guess I got extremely lucky as my wife looks outrageously good to me. 


Fathertime!

[Awesome]

Awesome/ htown


Well, I see the manginas have a new spokesperson.  Serioiusly you should think things through before you post this garbage.  If American women are fairly valued or ¨hot as you claim they are then why arent Colombian guys (or guys from other LA countries) coming to the US to meet them.

Every straight Colombian I've ever met would give his left nut to hook up with a hot gringa. 




[/size]

  And even more to the point, why are you traveling to Colombia to meet Colombian women when you ¨pull hot American chicks with the greatest of ease?¨[/size]

You should read the board before you just go assuming sh*t.  I've never once said I travel to Colombia to meet Colombian women.  In fact when I'm in Colombia I spend more time chasing gringas than I do chasing local Colombianas.


[/size]

I see on a post upthread you took the moral high ground on FT then turned right around and boasted how you would cheat on your future wife by having a ¨young,pretty chick on the side¨ You accuse FT of being shallow yet you would be shallow by getting a "young, pretty chick to have on the side".  Indeed, hypocrisy at its finest.  [/size]

I didn't take any "moral high ground"...wtf?  I honestly wanted to know FT's thoughts on the subject since we share a similar dilemma.  I don't see anything wrong with a man having multiple women.  You have your wife and mother of your children, then you have something on the side to make sure all of your needs and desires are satisfied.  If your wife happens to satisfy you 100% then great, but if not then you do what you gotta do.  If me thinking that makes me a "hypocrite" then so be it.  I never said I was perfect.
[/size]
[/size]
[/size]

Again think before you post.

You should take your own advice there guy.

[Rschnb67]

Well said Calipro. I got divorced in my mid 40s and when I started dating here I was getting nothing but wackos skanks  and women with kids  most of my first dates ended up with the woman talking about the restraining orders she had on her ex or things like that I know I live in a sort of redneck town not a big city with more selection but the pattern was the same.  In Colombia  not only did I find a beautiful angel but pure as can be on top of all that family oriented super into me no kids no drama and I couldn't be happier right now

[Kiltboy1]

Well said Calipro. I got divorced in my mid 40s and when I started dating here I was getting nothing but wackos skanks  and women with kids  most of my first dates ended up with the woman talking about the restraining orders she had on her ex or things like that I know I live in a sort of redneck town not a big city with more selection but the pattern was the same.  In Colombia  not only did I find a beautiful angel but pure as can be on top of all that family oriented super into me no kids no drama and I couldn't be happier right now

My last American woman turned out to be a crazy stalker that did some crazy [snip] to me. That was 2000 and was the last AW I ever dated. I Went to Colombia , Ecuador, Venezuela, Mexico and the DR and never looked back !

[robert angel]

Well said Calipro. I got divorced in my mid 40s and when I started dating here I was getting nothing but wackos skanks  and women with kids  most of my first dates ended up with the woman talking about the restraining orders she had on her ex or things like that I know I live in a sort of redneck town not a big city with more selection but the pattern was the same.  In Colombia  not only did I find a beautiful angel but pure as can be on top of all that family oriented super into me no kids no drama and I couldn't be happier right now

By the time they're past their mid 30's, almost all USA women have a lot of 'baggage' and deep set negative feelings about men. Those 'feelings' unfortunately get in the way of a lot of relationships sooner or later. They're often prejudging you, waiting for the other shoe to fall and so on. Meanwhile, all too often they have an attitude that you're the luckiest guy in the world to be able to take them out. Sure there's exceptions--there are exceptions everywhere.

I had a few women I could call on for dates when a wedding or some other social function would come up and I stood in for them as well. Sometimes there were 'side benefits' as we knew each of us was clean physically. But by and large, and to a great extent, I used the hate getting mentally prepared to date women who were '40ish' in the USA. I know it sounds like prejudging myself, but no matter how great the first few dates went, it was inevitable that the crows came back to roost---that the past, like post traumatic stress syndrome, would rear it's ugly head.

Too many USA women simply can't 'move on' and let bygones be bygones and start anew. It wouldn't be as bad if the guys didn't often end up feeling used. Too much time wasted and negative energy expended.

[Gato4Astrid]

Please share your thoughts. and GO!

What every latinas should know, before dating a foreign man:


1)  Learn their future husband's language
2)  Men are the boss when come to money management.  They know far better than women
3)  Respect men's money. 
4)  Their future husbands are more important than their friends back home.
5)  Make sure they discipline their children when moving into men's house
6)  Make sure their children learn to sleep on their own - not sharing mother's same bed!