It appears you have not registered with our community. To register please click here ...

+-

+-PL Gallery Random Image


Author Topic: Nervous for first trip to Barranquilla  (Read 16664 times)

0 Members and 12 Guests are viewing this topic.

Offline vikingo

  • Full Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 349
  • Country: co
  • Gender: Male
  • Spouse's Country: Colombia
  • Status: Committed >1 year
  • Trips: Resident
Re: Nervous for first trip to Barranquilla
« Reply #25 on: December 10, 2015, 08:20:00 PM »



All of the above ... gold, pure gold!



This is where I have to start offering an alternate perspective and experience ... not just my own, but what I have observed among my gringo-colombiana and colombiano-colombiana friends.

First of all, I would love to quit my job and travel too ... who wouldn't?  The working colombianas I know fully expect to work and contribute to the household ... unless there is a mutual agreement that she will focus on the kids/house. 


This is the common wisdom among many who live in Colombia ... those of us who don't and are "successful" beg to differ.  Also depends greatly on the guy (is he a bit of a loser who doesn't have much to offer besides money and a better lifestyle), his ability to select an appropriate woman, and the difference in age.  With my wife and I, the difference is 13 years ... she's a fair bit younger but still more or less similar generation.  If a guy is over 35 and messing with a woman under 25 ... well, ya takes your chances.  There are exceptions if you are a stud like Fathertime!




Please ... this is a stereotype.  Sure there are women like this ... but plenty who aren't like that.  My wife for instance is the calmest woman I know, and she is barranquillera.





People here know I am an advocate of WOVO, if it suits your personality, and if you have judgement an)d common sense.


But, if you are going to be a WOVO, I agree you should have a plan B ... and that can be as simple as ... if a romantic relationship doesn't work out, at least I will meet a nice friend to share a great vacation with.


If you are sinking your entire nest egg into one trip (either money-wise, time-wise, or both), then international dating and marriage isn't for you. 

Whitey, you must know you are exceptionally lucky with your lady.
I painted the worst scenario for this young man of course. So whenever I'm wrong about his bride, more power for the cause.
I think and I could be wrong, that for every Westerner who took his bride home and is happy, there are just as many disappointments.
The biggest problem they seem to run into is the closeness of colombianas with their family and their culture and homesickness can be a big problem.
I would love to hear from guy's who brought their wife home, their success stories and their disappointments and problems they run into.
Naturally anybody who didn't get involved with a model or a large age difference has had much better luck.
I stick to my opinion though that latinas who are even tempered are not that common. Just watch novelas on Spanish television, women are constantly fighting. Even my only daughter who is half Mexican has a temper that she is trying to control, sometimes unsuccessfully.
Colombianas who moved to the States or Canada will usually continue working because it's part of the culture over there. In a latin country it is frowned on because it's not customary to go to work once she is married, but that is changing now. With those low wages in Colombia and the abuse many have to put up with, like unpaid overtime, it doesn't make much sense anyway if she is with a gringo unless she is an academic.
@Mambo, my companion of six years didn't know how to cook, her mom did all the cooking while she was working. She had to learn under my strict supervision, lol, I actually like her food now, but it took a while.
The one before her; the family had a maid who did the cooking and she tried to convince me that it is just as economical to eat in restaurants than buying the ingredients and cooking at home. I couldn't let go of her because she was a pro with the guitar and I am hooked on Spanish guitar music, I just know, I will never be as good as her.
Four years later I broke up with her because she would have ruined me economically. She couldn't adjust to a more frugal lifestyle.
Believe nothing of what you hear and only half of what you see.

Offline mambocowboy

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 1528
  • Country: 00
  • Spouse's Country: Colombia
  • Status: Married >5 years
  • Trips: 4 - 10
Re: Nervous for first trip to Barranquilla
« Reply #26 on: December 10, 2015, 09:12:05 PM »
Whitey, you must know you are exceptionally lucky with your lady.
I painted the worst scenario for this young man of course. So whenever I'm wrong about his bride, more power for the cause.
I think and I could be wrong, that for every Westerner who took his bride home and is happy, there are just as many disappointments.
The biggest problem they seem to run into is the closeness of colombianas with their family and their culture and homesickness can be a big problem.
I would love to hear from guy's who brought their wife home, their success stories and their disappointments and problems they run into.
Naturally anybody who didn't get involved with a model or a large age difference has had much better luck.
I stick to my opinion though that latinas who are even tempered are not that common. Just watch novelas on Spanish television, women are constantly fighting. Even my only daughter who is half Mexican has a temper that she is trying to control, sometimes unsuccessfully.
Colombianas who moved to the States or Canada will usually continue working because it's part of the culture over there. In a latin country it is frowned on because it's not customary to go to work once she is married, but that is changing now. With those low wages in Colombia and the abuse many have to put up with, like unpaid overtime, it doesn't make much sense anyway if she is with a gringo unless she is an academic.
@Mambo, my companion of six years didn't know how to cook, her mom did all the cooking while she was working. She had to learn under my strict supervision, lol, I actually like her food now, but it took a while.
The one before her; the family had a maid who did the cooking and she tried to convince me that it is just as economical to eat in restaurants than buying the ingredients and cooking at home. I couldn't let go of her because she was a pro with the guitar and I am hooked on Spanish guitar music, I just know, I will never be as good as her.
Four years later I broke up with her because she would have ruined me economically. She couldn't adjust to a more frugal lifestyle.
Yes there probably are way more failures than successes. I did wovo too, but I am very no nonsense with my wife and she is a good woman. I must say alot of men would love to have my wife as a spouse. I got lucky yes but I did alot of testing. Even so marriage isn't a bed of roses but so far so good...

Offline Rschnb67

  • Full Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 116
  • Country: 00
  • Spouse's Country: No Selection
  • Status: Looking 0-2 years
  • Trips: None (yet)
Re: Nervous for first trip to Barranquilla
« Reply #27 on: December 11, 2015, 06:03:26 AM »
Mr Vikingo
I appreciate your candor in painting the worst scenario. Let me say this Im a pretty good judge of character Im 48 divorced from an American who was worse then the worst gold digging Colimbianas you describe. I have not msny doubts about my new girl shes a pure heart of gold never mentions money or status only how much she wishes to be by my side i may be wrong of course but as i mentioned she seems great thats why i want to meet her in person. The whole point of my post was because im nervous for my safety thats all. But im having a translator pick us up at airport and heasing to apartments run by lstin wife s. Jamie. So i wish you will tell me i should have no or minor issues. Anyway thanks again ill keep very aware of things. Cheers

Planet-Love.com

Re: Nervous for first trip to Barranquilla
« Reply #27 on: December 11, 2015, 06:03:26 AM »

Offline mambocowboy

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 1528
  • Country: 00
  • Spouse's Country: Colombia
  • Status: Married >5 years
  • Trips: 4 - 10
Re: Nervous for first trip to Barranquilla
« Reply #28 on: December 11, 2015, 06:56:54 AM »
Mr Vikingo
I appreciate your candor in painting the worst scenario. Let me say this Im a pretty good judge of character Im 48 divorced from an American who was worse then the worst gold digging Colimbianas you describe. I have not msny doubts about my new girl shes a pure heart of gold never mentions money or status only how much she wishes to be by my side i may be wrong of course but as i mentioned she seems great thats why i want to meet her in person. The whole point of my post was because im nervous for my safety thats all. But im having a translator pick us up at airport and heasing to apartments run by lstin wife s. Jamie. So i wish you will tell me i should have no or minor issues. Anyway thanks again ill keep very aware of things. Cheers
Dude don't matter what she says. You were not a great judge of character the first marriage if your wife was as bad as you say. It is harder to judge character long distance and when you don't know the culture. Take your time and good luck.

Offline fathertime

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 5103
  • Country: 00
  • Gender: Male
  • Spouse's Country: Colombia
  • Status: Married >5 years
  • Trips: > 10
Re: Nervous for first trip to Barranquilla
« Reply #29 on: December 11, 2015, 07:28:11 AM »
Mr Vikingo
I appreciate your candor in painting the worst scenario. Let me say this Im a pretty good judge of character Im 48 divorced from an American who was worse then the worst gold digging Colimbianas you describe. I have not msny doubts about my new girl shes a pure heart of gold never mentions money or status only how much she wishes to be by my side i may be wrong of course but as i mentioned she seems great thats why i want to meet her in person. The whole point of my post was because im nervous for my safety thats all. But im having a translator pick us up at airport and heasing to apartments run by lstin wife s. Jamie. So i wish you will tell me i should have no or minor issues. Anyway thanks again ill keep very aware of things. Cheers


it sounds like you have both made nice impressions over the computer...but you should meet her first before getting too far ahead of yourself and the relationship....


viking gave you lots of food for thought...general common sense goes a long way...a bit of nervousness is normal (about women & safety)...just play it straight and you should be fine.


The airport pick up by Jamie's employee was smooth when I did it...it is a good long taxi ride back to his lodging, you will see a lot along the way.


Fathertime! 
09/08 saw morena goddess on Jamie's website
09/08Began writing/webcamming future wife
10/08Visited BAQ to meet future wife
12/08 Visited a second time and got engaged
01/09 Visa Paperwork done(williamIII)
02/09quickvisit BAQ
08/09Wife arrives
09/09Got married
11/10 son born

Offline Rschnb67

  • Full Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 116
  • Country: 00
  • Spouse's Country: No Selection
  • Status: Looking 0-2 years
  • Trips: None (yet)
Re: Nervous for first trip to Barranquilla
« Reply #30 on: December 11, 2015, 07:28:46 AM »
True thank you i will keep that in mind im not bringing an engagement ring just going to see if theres chemistry in person

Offline benjio

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 2505
  • Country: us
  • Gender: Male
  • Spouse's Country: Brazil
  • Status: Committed >1 year
  • Trips: > 10
Re: Nervous for first trip to Barranquilla
« Reply #31 on: December 11, 2015, 08:21:43 AM »
it is a good long taxi ride back to his lodging, you will see a lot along the way.
Fathertime!


TO SAY THE LEAST!!! The term "culture shock" comes to mind!!!  ;D ;D ;D ;D

Offline vikingo

  • Full Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 349
  • Country: co
  • Gender: Male
  • Spouse's Country: Colombia
  • Status: Committed >1 year
  • Trips: Resident
Re: Nervous for first trip to Barranquilla
« Reply #32 on: December 11, 2015, 09:02:45 AM »
Mr Vikingo
I appreciate your candor in painting the worst scenario. Let me say this Im a pretty good judge of character Im 48 divorced from an American who was worse then the worst gold digging Colimbianas you describe. I have not msny doubts about my new girl shes a pure heart of gold never mentions money or status only how much she wishes to be by my side i may be wrong of course but as i mentioned she seems great thats why i want to meet her in person. The whole point of my post was because im nervous for my safety thats all. But im having a translator pick us up at airport and heasing to apartments run by lstin wife s. Jamie. So i wish you will tell me i should have no or minor issues. Anyway thanks again ill keep very aware of things. Cheers
First of all, 67(can't see your name well with that yellow background), let me tell you, as long as you are in Jamie's care you'll have nothing to worry about, I'm sure.
But, there will be follow-up visits, if not with her but with future colombianas and leaning on Jamie each time is going to be very costly. My entire long post was meant to prepare you for future visits, not pulling the wool over your eyes that you have absolutely nothing to worry about but giving you an unbiased view about common problems you could run into. That being said, this is a city of more than a million and a half and there are actually folks here who have never been robbed, I am one of them, knock on wood.
I know a little bit about the Latin culture, but am far from knowing enough. I had a 26 year marriage and three kids with a Mexican woman. The reason we broke up was her explosive temper that got much worse over the years, just as predicted by my best friend at the time, an MD from Costa Rica.
After the divorce I retired in Latin America, that was in 2005. I have been in a relationship with a colombiana for the last six years, one of my WOVO situations, a very attractive woman and almost 40 years my junior, but you guessed it, it turned out she has a bit of a temper (that she blames on her nervous condition she inherited from her mom). In the beginning everything was honky dory. So, had I dated a bunch of women and not doing WOVO I would still have picked her. I've been wanting to replace her years ago with someone a little older and very calm and have a real sentimental relationship, but the years go by and we got used to living with one an other.
Back to your situation, since you don't speak Spanish this venture of yours with your email bride who doesn't speak English will not be an easy one. Latinas generally are not too thrilled discussing their future relationship with their suitor with a translator. And how would you two know if the translator doesn't add her opinion into the translation or leaves something out that could be a deal breaker, or would affect the future relationship? Have you actually considered to involve a translator every time you meet with your bride? It would be alright at the first meeting to get some important questions out of the way, but after that you two deserve some privacy. I would suggest getting an electronic translator. Check this out:
electronic-translator-review.toptenreviews.com
I would also ask her specifically about her ex bf/husband situation, if he is still after her or has disappeared a long time ago, if she has a child ask about the relationship of the child with the father. There is sometimes a lot of attachment and you will always be the outsider. He might also object for the child to leave the country with mom.
Have you two been communicating by email with the help of google translator? When the time comes to communicate in Spanish with her in person it will be an other challenge because Barranquilleras speak costeño, a very challenging dialect where some letters are swallowed and most of them talk very fast and many talk very loud.
« Last Edit: December 11, 2015, 09:18:07 AM by vikingo »
Believe nothing of what you hear and only half of what you see.

Offline vikingo

  • Full Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 349
  • Country: co
  • Gender: Male
  • Spouse's Country: Colombia
  • Status: Committed >1 year
  • Trips: Resident
Re: Nervous for first trip to Barranquilla
« Reply #33 on: December 11, 2015, 09:36:39 AM »

TO SAY THE LEAST!!! The term "culture shock" comes to mind!!!  ;D ;D ;D ;D
Yeah, the first impression you'll get of Colombia is Soledad's estrato1

But maybe Jamie's taxi drivers choose a different, but longer route, more 'consumer friendly'.
Believe nothing of what you hear and only half of what you see.

Offline mambocowboy

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 1528
  • Country: 00
  • Spouse's Country: Colombia
  • Status: Married >5 years
  • Trips: 4 - 10
Re: Nervous for first trip to Barranquilla
« Reply #34 on: December 11, 2015, 03:56:54 PM »
First of all, 67(can't see your name well with that yellow background), let me tell you, as long as you are in Jamie's care you'll have nothing to worry about, I'm sure.
But, there will be follow-up visits, if not with her but with future colombianas and leaning on Jamie each time is going to be very costly. My entire long post was meant to prepare you for future visits, not pulling the wool over your eyes that you have absolutely nothing to worry about but giving you an unbiased view about common problems you could run into. That being said, this is a city of more than a million and a half and there are actually folks here who have never been robbed, I am one of them, knock on wood.
I know a little bit about the Latin culture, but am far from knowing enough. I had a 26 year marriage and three kids with a Mexican woman. The reason we broke up was her explosive temper that got much worse over the years, just as predicted by my best friend at the time, an MD from Costa Rica.
After the divorce I retired in Latin America, that was in 2005. I have been in a relationship with a colombiana for the last six years, one of my WOVO situations, a very attractive woman and almost 40 years my junior, but you guessed it, it turned out she has a bit of a temper (that she blames on her nervous condition she inherited from her mom). In the beginning everything was honky dory. So, had I dated a bunch of women and not doing WOVO I would still have picked her. I've been wanting to replace her years ago with someone a little older and very calm and have a real sentimental relationship, but the years go by and we got used to living with one an other.
Back to your situation, since you don't speak Spanish this venture of yours with your email bride who doesn't speak English will not be an easy one. Latinas generally are not too thrilled discussing their future relationship with their suitor with a translator. And how would you two know if the translator doesn't add her opinion into the translation or leaves something out that could be a deal breaker, or would affect the future relationship? Have you actually considered to involve a translator every time you meet with your bride? It would be alright at the first meeting to get some important questions out of the way, but after that you two deserve some privacy. I would suggest getting an electronic translator. Check this out:
electronic-translator-review.toptenreviews.com
I would also ask her specifically about her ex bf/husband situation, if he is still after her or has disappeared a long time ago, if she has a child ask about the relationship of the child with the father. There is sometimes a lot of attachment and you will always be the outsider. He might also object for the child to leave the country with mom.
Have you two been communicating by email with the help of google translator? When the time comes to communicate in Spanish with her in person it will be an other challenge because Barranquilleras speak costeño, a very challenging dialect where some letters are swallowed and most of them talk very fast and many talk very loud.
Homie doesn't speak Spanish? Fuggedaboutit

Offline Rschnb67

  • Full Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 116
  • Country: 00
  • Spouse's Country: No Selection
  • Status: Looking 0-2 years
  • Trips: None (yet)
Re: Nervous for first trip to Barranquilla
« Reply #35 on: December 11, 2015, 05:10:35 PM »
Vikingo.  I really appreciate you taking the time to give me all this info it's invaluable and maybe when I'm there I can buy you a beer my deal is I'm 48 my girl is 30 she is the sweetest thing I ever met in my life even though we only Skype and email and use what's app and Google translate I get the feeling  she is a pure heart I'm not saying she's a virgin she told me she had two boyfriends in the past she has no kids but she's close with her nephews she has a job she never once mentioned money or anything like that she's not real dark skin and flaunting her body around she's thin and whiter but she's cute as [snip] and sweet     I will do whatever I have to do she said she's taking a formal English class starting in January I have a gringo Spanish skills when we Skype believe it or not we pretty much can't talk to each other not great but sometimes I have to put her on hold and translate something but usually it's productive so  that being said I want to meet her and hopefully everything is great in person also    I have a grown child and have a comfortable life style right now and I want someone to live with me travel and do fun things you only thing I'm worried about her is if she wants kids because I definitely do not so we'll have to talk about that    And I will use Jamie may be the first and second time hopefully I'll find a nice hotel that's easy to get to wish decent activities nearby in a safe area for my future visits she lives out of town about 45 minutes    So again thank you very much I am happy to read everything you write good or bad and thank God your next post was a little better than the first because you scared the freaking [snip] out of me ha ha
« Last Edit: December 11, 2015, 05:16:27 PM by Rschnb67 »

Offline utopiacowboy

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 3891
  • Country: us
  • Spouse's Country: Colombia
  • Status: Married >5 years
  • Trips: > 10
Re: Nervous for first trip to Barranquilla
« Reply #36 on: December 11, 2015, 05:15:44 PM »
Vikingo.  I really appreciate you taking the time to give me all this info it's invaluable and maybe when I'm there I can buy you a beer my deal is I'm 48 my girl is 30 she is the sweetest thing I ever met in my life even though we only Skype and email and use what's app and Google translate I get the feeling  she is a pure heart I'm not saying she's a virgin she told me she had two boyfriends in the past she has no kids but she's close with her nephews she has a job she never once mentioned money or anything like that she's not real dark skin and flaunting her body around she's thin and wider but she's cute as [snip] and sweet     I will do whatever I have to do she said she's taking a formal English class starting in January I have a gringo Spanish skills when we Skype believe it or not we pretty much can't talk to each other not great but sometimes I have to put her on hold and translate something but usually it's productive so  that being said I want to meet her and hopefully everything is great in person also    I have a grown child and have a comfortable life style right now and I want someone to live with me travel and do fun things you only thing I'm worried about her is if she wants kids because I definitely do not so we'll have to talk about that    And I will use Jamie may be the first and second time hopefully I'll find a nice hotel that's easy to get to wish decent activities nearby in a safe area for my future visits she lives out of town about 45 minutes    So again thank you very much I am happy to read everything you write good or bad and thank God your next post was a little better than the first because you scared the freaking [snip] out of me ha ha


All we ask is that you post a trip report when you get back. I bet you have a great time when all is said and done.

Offline whitey

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 1497
  • Country: ca
  • Gender: Male
  • Spouse's Country: Colombia
  • Status: Married >5 years
  • Trips: > 10
Re: Nervous for first trip to Barranquilla
« Reply #37 on: December 11, 2015, 05:31:41 PM »
'67, your lady friend sounds nice so far - what neighbourhood (barrio) is she from?


Don't sweat your Spanish skills ... it sounds like you are both motivated to learn each other's language.  Although I had been practicing and studying pretty hard for almost a year before I met my wife in person, the first two or three trips were very challenging ... great, but challenging.  If there is chemistry and patience, things will work out fine.


There were no smartphones with Spanish-English translators when I first went down - that sure would have made life easier.  We had to work it out with my small travel dictionary and paper ... but of course the "body language" also helped a lot too.  :-)


Listen to all the great advice on security and follow it, but don't get too freaked out.  I was a little nervous too the first trip (more excited though), and I had my best friend on the trip to hold my hand (figuratively), as well as my wife who at that time was an online friend for nine months. 


I guarantee this trip will change your life for the better, no matter how things work out with this girl.


Good luck





Hablo espanolo mucho bieno!

Planet-Love.com

Re: Nervous for first trip to Barranquilla
« Reply #37 on: December 11, 2015, 05:31:41 PM »

Offline Rschnb67

  • Full Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 116
  • Country: 00
  • Spouse's Country: No Selection
  • Status: Looking 0-2 years
  • Trips: None (yet)
Re: Nervous for first trip to Barranquilla
« Reply #38 on: December 11, 2015, 05:40:28 PM »
Whats a. WOVO ?????
My girl is from Baq. but now lives in Monteria
« Last Edit: December 11, 2015, 05:42:55 PM by Rschnb67 »

Offline Juan Valdez

  • Full Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 192
  • Country: us
  • Gender: Male
  • Spouse's Country: No Selection
  • Status: Looking 3-5 years
  • Trips: 1 - 3
Re: Nervous for first trip to Barranquilla
« Reply #39 on: December 11, 2015, 05:45:14 PM »
only thing I'm worried about her is if she wants kids because I definitely do not so we'll have to talk about that   

Hmmm... this sounds like something that probably should have been discussed prior to investing money and time to see one person. 

Not so important if you're using Jamie's service with the primary intent to see multiple girls.

This girl has a lot of child bearing years in front of her.  Latin culture is far more family oriented than North American culture, UK culture, etc... so... if even if she says she DOESN'T want to have kids, that could change next week, next month, next year.

The "mind change" thing could happen with a young gringa, as well as a young Latina.

Most girls want to have kids.  Even if they are physically unable to, due to some medical reason, then they still want to adopt and/or raise a child... most of them.

Anytime a young girl says she doesn't want to have kids... I'm suspicious.  Or even a guy saying he's willing to forgo kids (if he doesn't have any)... a guy could change his mind.  We are designed to produce and protect offspring. 

You probably love your kids more than anything in the world.  Most girls desire to have that feeling, and they think about it before it happens a lot more than guys do.

But... hey, she might be the exception :-) 

Either way, we all bid you a safe trip, and just be safe, and emotionally hope for the best, but prepare for the worst.

Offline Juan Valdez

  • Full Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 192
  • Country: us
  • Gender: Male
  • Spouse's Country: No Selection
  • Status: Looking 3-5 years
  • Trips: 1 - 3
Re: Nervous for first trip to Barranquilla
« Reply #40 on: December 11, 2015, 05:48:16 PM »
Whats a. WOVO ??? ??
My girl is from Baq. but now lives in Monteria

As I just found out this week, WOVO = Write One Visit One

Basically, the (primarily ill advised) concept of basing a trip on visiting only one girl, with no sufficient backup "Plan B".

I say primarily ill advised, because there are a minority of people here (at least, one, Lol) that subscribe to that concept, and things have worked out for them.

Offline buencamino2

  • Full Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 145
  • Country: co
  • Gender: Male
  • Spouse's Country: No Selection
  • Status: Committed >1 year
  • Trips: Resident
Re: Nervous for first trip to Barranquilla
« Reply #41 on: December 11, 2015, 06:07:36 PM »
I have a grown child and have a comfortable life style right now and I want someone to live with me travel and do fun things you only thing I'm worried about her is if she wants kids because I definitely do not so we'll have to talk about that 

While I have met a few that said they don't it's my experience that the vast majority of colombianas who can, want kids. A friend of mine married a girl from Cali when he was in his fifties and she was twenty six. He too had adult kids, didn't want more and wanted a travel companion. He took her on trips to Europe, they went scuba diving in the Caribbean and flew around in his small plane but a few years later they divorced amicably and she returned to Colombia...because she didn't want to go through life with out having any children. As your woman is thirty and doesn't have any it's possible she's one of the few who don't want children but I would make that a priority of discussion and I'd want to be very secure with the sincerity of her answers. You don't want to get her to the US and six months later find her moping around and the relationship falling apart because she's childless.

And another thing: if after you meet her in person you think she's really the one then you need to go to her pueblo and meet her family. If it's only forty five minutes from Barranquilla it would be an easy day trip.

Lastly: get over the fears and enjoy the new adventure. Colombia is a spectacular country.

Offline whitey

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 1497
  • Country: ca
  • Gender: Male
  • Spouse's Country: Colombia
  • Status: Married >5 years
  • Trips: > 10
Re: Nervous for first trip to Barranquilla
« Reply #42 on: December 11, 2015, 06:13:44 PM »
Whats a. WOVO ?????
My girl is from Baq. but now lives in Monteria

You do know Monteria is several hours from Barranquilla,  right?  How is that going to work?
Hablo espanolo mucho bieno!

Offline Rschnb67

  • Full Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 116
  • Country: 00
  • Spouse's Country: No Selection
  • Status: Looking 0-2 years
  • Trips: None (yet)
Re: Nervous for first trip to Barranquilla
« Reply #43 on: December 11, 2015, 06:14:20 PM »
 I think she does want one kid but I really don't so I guess we have a lot of talking to do because if she's here and isn't really working or driving or things like that I will be the one taking the kids to soccer going to the school doing all these things I've already done and do not wish to ever do again

Offline Rschnb67

  • Full Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 116
  • Country: 00
  • Spouse's Country: No Selection
  • Status: Looking 0-2 years
  • Trips: None (yet)
Re: Nervous for first trip to Barranquilla
« Reply #44 on: December 11, 2015, 06:16:30 PM »
I think she does want one kid but I really don't so I guess we have a lot of talking to do because if she's here and isn't really working or driving or things like that I will be the one taking the kids to soccer going to the school doing all these things I've already done and do not wish to ever do again
. She will get to BAQ either by plane or van and we will spend a few days together and then I'll worry about the next trip later

Offline buencamino2

  • Full Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 145
  • Country: co
  • Gender: Male
  • Spouse's Country: No Selection
  • Status: Committed >1 year
  • Trips: Resident
Re: Nervous for first trip to Barranquilla
« Reply #45 on: December 11, 2015, 06:38:27 PM »
I just saw the Montería thing too. That's a long way off and she won't be takin' no plane unless she's pretty rich or you send her the money. A quick check shows it to be almost eight hours by bus and about $120.000 round trip. I withdraw the suggestion of the day trip. If she actually does make the trip I think it's important that you are aware of the effort and expense she has gone to.

Offline robert angel

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 6177
  • Country: us
  • Gender: Male
  • Summer 18
  • Spouse's Country: The Philippines
  • Status: Married >5 years
  • Trips: 4 - 10
Re: Nervous for first trip to Barranquilla
« Reply #46 on: December 11, 2015, 06:46:06 PM »
67,

Being nervous and asking questions is a good thing. I was really actually paranoid the first time I went to a third world nation alone and while I did take precautions, it was really so unstressful and enjoyable that I almost find it laughable now. But better safe than stupid. Besides not making yourself an obvious target after evaluating your environment, watching what you eat and drink, probably everything else is going to fall into place naturally.

Sounds like you're really sweet on this girl already--you know more about her than we do here obviously--good luck--I'd strongly, strongly advise putting your cards on the table about the not wanting children topic sooner rather than later, because if that's a deal breaker for her now (and she could say it's not and change her mind ten years later) better to know that now. Besides, you're paying big bucks for Jamie's service and that puts a lot of options on the table in terms of meeting other women, with his guidance and advice at that, which I hear is good. I hear it's the guys who don't listen to Jamie's advice are the ones who really get it wrong.


If it's 'meant to be' with this lady you're fond of, it will stand the test of time before rushing into marriage. The guys who seem to do the best, i.e. Whitey--take a few trips to see the same lady before taking 'the plunge'. I think he and anybody who had a heads up on his wonderful wife early on, figured she sounded great from the git go. Remember, "Fools rush in where angels fear to tread"

All that said, I told my now wife that she, being much younger than me, that she should find another guy, a person who unlike me,  wanted--more accurately was 'ready' to have children with her--that the beautiful, loving person she is--she deserved it--that the world needs Mom's like her. After that, I even flew to her country and did not travel an hour away to see her, as I felt she needed time to really think objectively. She thought about it long and hard and decided she loved me and would forgo children. We've been married ten years and knew each other over four years before that, but the reality is that she could still change her mind. I think we'd move on, still love each other and be best friends, but to say it'd knock the wind out of me is to put it mildly.

If you bring her to your hometown, she will go from being what I assume is a lovely, pretty young lady, to being an unusually exotic, I dare say 'hot' looking and attractive, desirable woman. I assure you that life in the USA or Canada, Europe, etc, WILL change her. It's to what degree that is the only variable and simply put, bringing her 'home' would exponentially change things.

But what do you have to lose by being as up front as possible with this woman you're going to visit? Maybe you feel that experiencing each other in person will make a difference in that regard, but it will only cloud her judgment, as you embark on  what I call the "real honeymoon'--that first visit, when everything was lovey dovey, the sex was hot as hell and it seemed nothing could ever tear you apart.

Well, once you're married , off to work, be it your 9 to 5 or whatever, once she's had some time alone, maybe starts seeing all the celebrity magazines and media hype about who's having the cutest babies, when she sees a Gringo and a Latina at the mall or in the park, pushing a baby carriage--once reality sets in--THEN she's really going to know.

Good luck, I am all but positive that win, lose or draw, you'll enjoy your trip and be glad you took it.


Rob

"""It seems like yesterday
    But it was long ago
    Janey was lovely she was the queen of my nights
    There in the darkness with the radio playing low, and
    And the secrets that we shared
    The mountains that we moved
    Caught like a wildfire out of control
    'Til there was nothing left to burn and nothing left to prove
    And I remember what she said to me
    How she swore that it never would end
    I remember how she held me oh-so-tight
    Wish I didn't know now what I didn't know then
   

    Against the wind
    We were runnin' against the wind"""

   (Bob Seger)
Whether you think you can or think you can't--you're right!

Offline vikingo

  • Full Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 349
  • Country: co
  • Gender: Male
  • Spouse's Country: Colombia
  • Status: Committed >1 year
  • Trips: Resident
Re: Nervous for first trip to Barranquilla
« Reply #47 on: December 11, 2015, 08:47:52 PM »
67, I agree 100% with everyone here mentioning the problem of her being childless. I suggest if I may that you change your views and let her have your child, or that relationship will end in misery, I almost guarantee it.
My girl is 38 and childless and her not having my child has been the biggest obstacle in our relationship and cause of many arguments. She blames it on me but I don't think she can have children. After all she also had two boyfriends and Colombian men normally don't worry if the gf gets pregnant or not, they usually leave her if she does. Anyway, I'm way to old to start out with a baby now. It would be totally irresponsible of me leaving a young child behind without a father. But you are not old at 48, God I wish I was 48 again.
BTW, you will run into this problem with any colombiana who is childless and under 40. They are driven, no hell-bent on having a child 'so they won't be alone when they are old and parents and husband are dead'.

I saw a translator for $200 on Amazon ( T11 Spanish-English) that would serve you well. You don't need to turn on the voice function, just type in English what you want to say and pass it over to her and she'll read the translation, type in her answer in Spanish and you read the English translation. It's also a great learning tool for you and her to learn the language.
Montería is way out there in the Department (Province) of Córdoba,
a very nice city of about 300.000, lots of cattle ranching nearby.
I would have suggested you fly to Cartagena and take a flight to Montería. You don't even need to leave Cartagena airport were they speak English. She'll be waiting for you at Monteriá airport, no safety concerns for you at all.
Hell, Montería is way much safer than Barranquilla and a hell of a lot nicer. If you want to take her on a trip go to Cartagena, it's full of American tourists and you'll be more comfortable. I would avoid Barranquilla all together if I were you and save a ton of money.
There is very little to see in Barranquilla and hardly any tourism compared to Cartagena which is world-famous for it's history.
I would never live here if my girl wasn't clinging to her mom and family, this is one boring place.


« Last Edit: December 11, 2015, 08:55:16 PM by vikingo »
Believe nothing of what you hear and only half of what you see.

Planet-Love.com

Re: Nervous for first trip to Barranquilla
« Reply #47 on: December 11, 2015, 08:47:52 PM »

Offline utopiacowboy

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 3891
  • Country: us
  • Spouse's Country: Colombia
  • Status: Married >5 years
  • Trips: > 10
Re: Nervous for first trip to Barranquilla
« Reply #48 on: December 11, 2015, 09:22:13 PM »
Monteria? WTF. I have been to Monteria several times since my mother-in-law lives there. I would have to agree that it is nicer than Barranquilla but that's not saying very much. No one goes to Monteria for a vacation. It was a stronghold of the AUC - in fact I could relate some stories about that but I better not. I will say this - it is a safe city for gringos. My wife won't let me out on the side streets of Medellin at night but in Monteria it's no problem. It's hotter than hell all the time.

Offline mambocowboy

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 1528
  • Country: 00
  • Spouse's Country: Colombia
  • Status: Married >5 years
  • Trips: 4 - 10
Re: Nervous for first trip to Barranquilla
« Reply #49 on: December 11, 2015, 09:54:26 PM »
sorry to rain on the feel good parade, but I see several red flags here that will keep this relationship from working out:
1) lack of Spanish by the gringo
2) while she may be sweet, she ain't being honest about the child issue and maybe some other things too
3) her location. She lives way the hell out of the way

However, it's great that our new forum member will be using Senor Jaime's agency . That way he will have plenty of other women to choose from. By the way, the risk with WOVO for me was not that my future wife and I did not know each other well enough. I made sure we talked about all the important stuff before we met in person. The risk was that we wouldn't have chemistry in person. Fortunately for us that wasn't an issue. I was much more attracted to her in person than on skype and we have 2 daughters as a result... 8)

 

Sponsor Twr1R

PL Stats

Members
Total Members: 5880
Latest: Chatcooraacicle
New This Month: 0
New This Week: 0
New Today: 0
Stats
Total Posts: 133132
Total Topics: 7865
Most Online Today: 107
Most Online Ever: 1000
(December 26, 2022, 11:57:37 PM)
Users Online
Members: 0
Guests: 113
Total: 113
Powered by EzPortal