SENDING MONEY CREATES A MONSTER

[Stevieboy]

That's a very good attitude to have going in and that's where a lot of guys are lacking. If the man doesn't take the lead, the woman will, simple as that...

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It's also true that it comes with life experience (being older) and being kicked in the nuts a time or two, just as LS just has. He'll get over this girl and his heart will develop a latin scar to be stronger for the next one, and so and so forth. I myself am pretty skeptical in general, in that I don't expect marriages last forever, so I'll always doomsday prep myself in case it doesn't work out, like I did my last relationship (American gal). When I told her I was leaving, she laughed, and by the time she got back from work the next day, I put a deposit and signed a lease to a townhouse. When's the last time we  talked about prenuptual agreements here?

[mambocowboy]

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It's also true that it comes with life experience (being older) and being kicked in the nuts a time or two, just as LS just has. He'll get over this girl and his heart will develop a latin scar to be stronger for the next one, and so and so forth. I myself am pretty skeptical in general, in that I don't expect marriages last forever, so I'll always doomsday prep myself in case it doesn't work out, like I did my last relationship (American gal). When I told her I was leaving, she laughed, and by the time she got back from work the next day, I put a deposit and signed a lease to a townhouse. When's the last time we  talked about prenuptual agreements here?

had I looked in Colombia at a younger age I well could have been kicked in the nuts too. I learned from getting hurt as a younger man not to repeat the same mistakes. I was 40 when I started to look in Colombia, and I had a very strong idea what kind of woman I wanted and what kind of relationship I wanted. What I've observed is the guys most likely to wind up as ATMs are the ones who choose women who love to travel, shop, eat out, and party, all things that require a lot of dough...

[LatinSharpei]

Okay since we are kinda looking at the game film here.. seeing where I threw that bad interception..  As I agree I was the one who pulled the trigger.. nobody else..  I am thinking of and older girl 26 to 32 to remove the immature bullcrap.  Also thinking that I would rather find a girl with a child.. Perhaps they might be more family oriented?  Am I going to conservative and over evaluating?

[mambocowboy]

Okay since we are kinda looking at the game film here.. seeing where I threw that bad interception..  As I agree I was the one who pulled the trigger.. nobody else..  I am thinking of and older girl 26 to 32 to remove the immature bullcrap.  Also thinking that I would rather find a girl with a child.. Perhaps they might be more family oriented?  Am I going to conservative and over evaluating?

LS, if you felt the money demands were too much with the last one, wait till you get a woman who has a kid. For the love of God, stay away from women with kids my man! You have no idea what kind of trouble you could be bringing into your life that way...If you want a family oriented woman, take a look at her family (are her parents together and happy?), and go for a woman who doesn't have kids but wants them , WITH YOU...

[Awesome]

LS, if you felt the money demands were too much with the last one, wait till you get a woman who has a kid. For the love of God, stay away from women with kids my man! You have no idea what kind of trouble you could be bringing into your life that way...If you want a family oriented woman, take a look at her family (are her parents together and happy?), and go for a woman who doesn't have kids but wants them , WITH YOU...

You have to be pretty insecure to say something like that.  How is marrying a woman with a kid anymore expensive than having your own kid with her?  I've dated plenty of women with kids and it's never caused a problem.

Many times having a kid causes a woman to grow up faster and become a smarter, more mature, well rounded person.  Not all of the time, but most of the time.

Hey latin sharpei, if you're so buff and you have all these women throwing themselves at you, what is your reason for going to Colombia to find a wife?  I'm just curious.  Have you ever thought about trying Mexico?

[LatinSharpei]

I am not huge and cut but I try to stay in shape.  I am usually in better shape after break ups because I have no where to turn but the gym.  Gimme 6 weeks alone with my thoughts and by then I have a nice routine going where I get the 2nd look and that always makes a guy feel good.  I have extra incentive this time.  The ex demon i was engaged to called me fat right after she stresses me out and puts me in the hospital.  I am running around with a catheter in and csnt walk let alone sit up for a week and it took another 3 to get right but she wanted to start busting on my build then.  I do my best work pissed off.  Theres my fuel. I tried Colombia because I have heard good stuff about the agency.  I would not know what or where to look in Mexico.  I hear its getting to be more dangerous than Colombia ever was. 

[Stevieboy]

Okay since we are kinda looking at the game film here.. seeing where I threw that bad interception..  As I agree I was the one who pulled the trigger.. nobody else..  I am thinking of and older girl 26 to 32 to remove the immature bullcrap.  Also thinking that I would rather find a girl with a child.. Perhaps they might be more family oriented?  Am I going to conservative and over evaluating?

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MC is absolutely right. Don't look for a woman with kids. You can find that here, and women will gladly stay with you  because you'll provide for them. I cringe at the thought of being married to a woman with a 5 yr old boy that I have to clothe & feed, and I can't discipline as my own. Not to mention he doesn't look like me when we go places and I have to explain that I met a woman online from thousands of miles away and spent thousands of dollars, to choose my bride, yet chose one with kids because she might be more loyal? Single women in Colombia in general have their biological clocks ticking loudly by 25. They want a family soon, because their other sisters or cousins are way ahead of her and she feels & looks like the old maid in front of their family and friends. Loyalty is why you're looking to latin America in the first place. You got the runt of the litter this time, and you might again. Then, try again. Or maybe try an Asian woman next time.
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You said she called you fat, have you seen most latin men? In Mexico, a fat man is considered by women a successful man who eats well. You also mentioned, the stress she gave you sent you to the hospital? Not sure how old you are, but there may be some personal things you need to take care of before taking on cohabitation with a stubborn woman who talks fast in a foreign language and follows you around the house until you admit you were wrong. Not to mention her cussing you for picking her kid up late from school that doesn't look like you or listen to you.  Yowza!     

[LatinSharpei]

The stress came from the financial situation she put me in.  She had me to the point where I was eating ramen beans and if I was lucky to find it chicken I found on clearance at target.  Not to mention i was working 60 hours a week. The hand was so extended.  I would tell her that I am eating like craps to support her life she thinks she needs...  And it was like who cares.  I dont like being that tight.  I try to keep surplus due to the economy and all the other stuff that happens in life.  I allowed it to get that far I allowed myself to be perceived that week that even when its over she still thinks I would give her money.  I have a lot of mixed feelings.  Right now Ithink about taking my talents back to Vegas and just working and playing being housing is cheap and I have a needed stable trade  is out there. And just giving up on women for good.  This entire situation makes me mad and sick thinking about it.

[Hector_Lavoe]

You have to be pretty insecure to say something like that.  How is marrying a woman with a kid anymore expensive than having your own kid with her?  I've dated plenty of women with kids and it's never caused a problem.

I think Mambo Cowboy was saying a guy looking to find a wife in Colombia (or Latin America) should stay away from women with kids simply because those kids are a major cost center. Assuming it's a package deal then as soon as the guy brings her over with the kids you are financially responsible for not just one person but perhaps 2 or 3, etc.

[benjio]

Dating a foreign woman with a child(ren) brings all kinds of unforeseen variables into a relationship and always has major implications on its potential for success. Increased cost, although significant, is only one factor. Stevieboy brings up an excellent point with respect to discipline because as we all know, children in Latin America aren't raised anything like children in the U.S. In most Latin American Countries you need the permission of the father of the child to bring him/her to the U.S. with your fiance. I've seen this cause MAJOR issues with families...even with dead beat Dads that don't support, much less see their children. I knew of a guy that was being extorted by the father of his girlfriend's child just to allow that child to leave Colombia. They reported it to the authorities in Colombia and the U.S. Embassy and in the end nothing was done. The gringo finally had to pay the child's father quite of bit of money just so him and his fiance could be rid of him and start their new life in the U.S.


I remember reading an article years ago where Carson Daly was being interviewed. He was being asked about his breakup with Jennifer Love Hewitt. He stated that Jennifer did not call, text, or send him an email to let him know she no longer wanted to be in the relationship. He was reading an interview in a magazine that was just released, and when asked Jennifer said she was longer dating him. This was only a couple of days after the last time they spoke. Carson said he just couldn't understand why someone would do that but he never contacted her again. Carson went on by saying he was telling the same story to Sean Penn while they were at an awards show one night; and Penn looked him dead in the eye and told him, "You seem like a really, really nice guy. Maybe dating in this industry isn't for you."

[buencamino]

"But the owner is not a USA citizen nor is he doing business in the United States. I must say it is very odd that the USA would try to make a law apply to a business run outside the USA by someone without citizenship or any ties to the States."


BCC try not to let your mind wander. First: of course the owner is a US citizen. Second: IMBRA applies to any US citizen who sponsors a fiance or spousal visa. Read up on the law.

[Hector_Lavoe]

The stress came from the financial situation she put me in.  She had me to the point where I was eating ramen beans and if I was lucky to find it chicken I found on clearance at target.  Not to mention i was working 60 hours a week. The hand was so extended.  I would tell her that I am eating like craps to support her life she thinks she needs...  And it was like who cares.  I dont like being that tight.  I try to keep surplus due to the economy and all the other stuff that happens in life.  I allowed it to get that far I allowed myself to be perceived that week that even when its over she still thinks I would give her money.  I have a lot of mixed feelings.  Right now Ithink about taking my talents back to Vegas and just working and playing being housing is cheap and I have a needed stable trade  is out there. And just giving up on women for good.  This entire situation makes me mad and sick thinking about it.

LS:  First of all, as others have stated you showed strength by coming back here and posting what happened. You did dodge a major bullet (and apparently a wine bottle or two as well)! Next time you just need to use that same strength and tell a girl like this one to take a hike right away. Don't get me wrong we all get a little weak in the knees around these hot Latin ladies.

I agree that with age comes more maturity; however, gold diggers come in all ages. So as always, buyer beware. 

My first trip to Colombia a few years ago I met a woman who was perfect for me on paper (early 30's, no kids). But after a few dates the requests for money started coming. Mostly small things like a B-Day gift for relatives, etc. I told her no and that money should not enter into the relationship (until engagement or marriage). She said that was cool but she just couldn't help herself and the requests kept coming. So shortly after the first trip I told her we were done and I never went back to see her.

By contrast, my last trip in 2013 I met a 21 year woman in Cali who has never asked for a dime. I am not pursing anything serious with this girl (as she is too young).  My only point is there are plenty of women down there who won't see you as an ATM. So don't give up. Of course, they do like the financial stability we represent that is for sure. But I would run like wind from any chica who flat up hits me for cash. 

[bcc_1_2]

"But the owner is not a USA citizen nor is he doing business in the United States. I must say it is very odd that the USA would try to make a law apply to a business run outside the USA by someone without citizenship or any ties to the States."


BCC try not to let your mind wander. First: of course the owner is a US citizen. Second: IMBRA applies to any US citizen who sponsors a fiance or spousal visa. Read up on the law.

I thought he was European.  Anyways I'm very familiar with the law. I know for a fact the guy in Honduras is European. Technically as a non-us citizen running a foreign business the US government can't do anything about it practically. I mean our government could pass a law that said Germans can't play basketball in Colombia. So what...

As for your point on IMBRA. I actually agree with you. While I'm not a fan of the law I do think every agency ought to conduct the background check just to protect their paying clients. And if you want to know why Jamie must hate this site google his full name along with his website latin wife and see what comes up first in google. It is this very IMBRA discussion. In that same thread you'll also see this site owner brush off the possibility that Jamie is now single and not actually married like Latin Wife suggested at the time. A single guy bought an agency in Cali and this site owner went off the rails over it.  That's all just old news but a little entertaining anyways.

Jamie is probably one of the last good options in Colombia outside of Bogota, but he no longer posts here because PL comes up higher than him on search engines and the old negative posts aren't good for biz. It also may have changed a few flaws in his business such as IMBRA background checks and not black balling clients because they don't want to stay with his lodging.

Either way the OP is happy with how the agency owner stepped up. So it's all good.

[bcc_1_2]

Dating a foreign woman with a child(ren) brings all kinds of unforeseen variables into a relationship and always has major implications on its potential for success. Increased cost, although significant, is only one factor. Stevieboy brings up an excellent point with respect to discipline because as we all know, children in Latin America aren't raised anything like children in the U.S. In most Latin American Countries you need the permission of the father of the child to bring him/her to the U.S. with your fiance. I've seen this cause MAJOR issues with families...even with dead beat Dads that don't support, much less see their children. I knew of a guy that was being extorted by the father of his girlfriend's child just to allow that child to leave Colombia. They reported it to the authorities in Colombia and the U.S. Embassy and in the end nothing was done. The gringo finally had to pay the child's father quite of bit of money just so him and his fiance could be rid of him and start their new life in the U.S.


I remember reading an article years ago where Carson Daly was being interviewed. He was being asked about his breakup with Jennifer Love Hewitt. He stated that Jennifer did not call, text, or send him an email to let him know she no longer wanted to be in the relationship. He was reading an interview in a magazine that was just released, and when asked Jennifer said she was longer dating him. This was only a couple of days after the last time they spoke. Carson said he just couldn't understand why someone would do that but he never contacted her again. Carson went on by saying he was telling the same story to Sean Penn while they were at an awards show one night; and Penn looked him dead in the eye and told him, "You seem like a really, really nice guy. Maybe dating in this industry isn't for you."

I've heard the blackmail story before, and I think it is more common with deadbeat and disinterested dads than we might even imagine. We are talking about a make the gringo pay culture here at times. As for how to deal with the kids I'm sure that'd be quite the (unwanted in my case) challenge.

I actually sat next to Carson Daily and Fred Durst and argued over who Britney Spears gave head to first. 

Granted Carson had the good sense to take Penn's advice. He married a younger transplant to California who was practically a nobody. I take your point though. I do think some people give the Colombia thing a try and decide it is not for them.

[Awesome]

LS you seem like the kind of guy that should do one of those volunteer trips where you travel to a country and you spend a couple of weeks helping poor people.  You'll meet a lot of great people and be able to meet real genuine women.  You might even fall in love with a nice German or sweedish lady.  Trust me they travel a lot to latin countries and they love us Yankees just as muchas any latina

I'd stay the hell away from the whole agency/gringo dating website scene.  That's for guys who have zero game.

[mambocowboy]

LS you seem like the kind of guy that should do one of those volunteer trips where you travel to a country and you spend a couple of weeks helping poor people.  You'll meet a lot of great people and be able to meet real genuine women.  You might even fall in love with a nice German or sweedish lady.  Trust me they travel a lot to latin countries and they love us Yankees just as muchas any latina

I'd stay the hell away from the whole agency/gringo dating website scene.  That's for guys who have zero game.

Really?  If you have so much game, how come you've dated women with kids?

[mambocowboy]

You have to be pretty insecure to say something like that.  How is marrying a woman with a kid anymore expensive than having your own kid with her?  I've dated plenty of women with kids and it's never caused a problem.

Many times having a kid causes a woman to grow up faster and become a smarter, more mature, well rounded person.  Not all of the time, but most of the time.

Hey latin sharpei, if you're so buff and you have all these women throwing themselves at you, what is your reason for going to Colombia to find a wife?  I'm just curious.  Have you ever thought about trying Mexico?

well, I've met a gringo who brought over a Colombiana and her two kids. He gives her $1500 every two weeks, and that's not even counting the money he's sending her family. How many gringos have you met that have brought over a Colombiana with kids and not  had to spend a ton? By the way, LS was financially stressed by sending her $600 a month, so  imagine him trying to support a Colombiana and her kid...

[Awesome]

ftp://

Really?  If you have so much game, how come you've dated women with kids?

Super dumb question but I'll answer anyway.

Because I'm not insecure.  What do I have to be worried about a kid for?  Not only that, I happen to love kids anyway.  The major downside is if you break up with the girl it can be painful leaving the kid once you've become attached.

Mc you're probably one of those guys who's scared the kid's going to grow up and kick your ass.  Lol!

[Awesome]

well, I've met a gringo who brought over a Colombiana and her two kids. He gives her $1500 every two weeks, and that's not even counting the money he's sending her family. How many gringos have you met that have brought over a Colombiana with kids and not  had to spend a ton? By the way, LS was financially stressed by sending her $600 a month, so  imagine him trying to support a Colombiana and her kid...

You seem to be missing the point bro.  If the man and woman are genuinely in love, everything else is just details.  Money for visas, money to help feed and clothe the kid.  True love and trust doesn't have a number or price tag on it.  If you can't afford it or you're not man enough to handle it, then don't try it.

Now if the woman is just using the gringo then he's just getting screwed whether kids are involved or not.  Which is why I say if you have any type of looks, game, personality, stay the hell away from the obvious gringo hunter outlets.  Find a real woman, not one with an agenda.

[mambocowboy]

ftp://
Super dumb question but I'll answer anyway.

Because I'm not insecure.  What do I have to be worried about a kid for?  Not only that, I happen to love kids anyway.  The major downside is if you break up with the girl it can be painful leaving the kid once you've become attached.

Mc you're probably one of those guys who's scared the kid's going to grow up and kick your ass.  Lol!

I'm one of those guys who had the stones to go abroad, start a relationship and  maintain a relationship long distance, bring her here, get married, have a kid with her...What about you? You're just another troll who gives no valuable advice  because you don't have any relevant experience to share...

[Awesome]

Yes you did do correctly(so far) what many men on this sit would like to do, and you do give some of the best advice on here. 

But we happen to disagree about hooking up with women who have kids.  I know quite few single mothers who are exceptionally smart and beautiful who would make great wives.

[fathertime]

You have to be pretty insecure to say something like that.  How is marrying a woman with a kid anymore expensive than having your own kid with her?  I've dated plenty of women with kids and it's never caused a problem.

Many times having a kid causes a woman to grow up faster and become a smarter, more mature, well rounded person.  Not all of the time, but most of the time.

Hey Awesome!


i don't think it is insecurity if a guy doesn't want a woman that has had kids...there can be a variety of reasons....as for me...I just didn't want the all-around hassle...that being said, if a fine woman somehow captured my heart, then I would have done gone forth with the visa process for two....Towards the end of my search, I did my best to stay away from single mothers, because they have their charms and I didn't want those charms growing on me...I would have just rather kept it to just a wife as i did...






Fathertime!   

[fathertime]

I'd stay the hell away from the whole agency/gringo dating website scene.  That's for guys who have zero game.

i must have zero game then...if i were ever single again i would not hesitate to use an agency or gringo website again...i'm not sure what constitutes game...but i don't dance, do clubs, or puff my chest out too much..just a regular guy that likes the beach bonfires, quads, playing with the kid at the park, poker..etc etc.....nothing too flashy nowadays.  I say use a variety of approaches and find the ones that work for you, a woman that matches can be found many different ways....as can one who doesn't match! 


Fathertime! 

[fathertime]

The stress came from the financial situation she put me in.  She had me to the point where I was eating ramen beans and if I was lucky to find it chicken I found on clearance at target.  Not to mention i was working 60 hours a week. The hand was so extended.  I would tell her that I am eating like craps to support her life she thinks she needs...  And it was like who cares.  I dont like being that tight.  I try to keep surplus due to the economy and all the other stuff that happens in life.  I allowed it to get that far I allowed myself to be perceived that week that even when its over she still thinks I would give her money.  I have a lot of mixed feelings.  Right now Ithink about taking my talents back to Vegas and just working and playing being housing is cheap and I have a needed stable trade  is out there. And just giving up on women for good.  This entire situation makes me mad and sick thinking about it.

Hi LS,

Well you mentioned you were wearing a catheter and eating ramon for this silly woman...I don't understand how you let it get to that point...you really gotta tighten up and use your noodle more...if a woman gets you to that point, you gotta realize something is really really wrong.  You may be too nice a guy, too much of a giver..that would be fine if you made a truly good choice finding a woman...maybe you should let Jamie pick the ladies for you and see how that works...i'm sure they will still be very attractive and probably good- hearted which is what you need most! 

"Taking your talents to vegas"...that was a good one!  haha

Fathertime!

[pchip]

In my case, my past relationship has left me with 3 kids.  So while I was looking, I was preferring women without kids, but wasn't closed off to women with kids.  I've also viewed my search in Colombia as "expanding the playing field" so I didn't find it logical to kick a prospect to the curb just because she had a kid or 2.  Hence, for me her already having a kid was a negative, but not a deal breaker.


Case in point, I think we all agree that IV was a great catch, but say (God Forbid) that something happens and she's back in the dating market with a kid, is she less of a catch just because she had a kid?



In the end, my wife has a kid, and guess what? I love him as much as my own and he loves me back as his father.  Small tidbit, my oldest son is having his head turned by his mom and the other day things went rough (I'll spare the details).  I was emotionally compromised coming home yet, my wife's kid came on his own and (virtually as we're skyping while the papers come through) hugged me and said "I love you, daddy."  So in the end, he may not be my flesh and blood, but he's definitely my son.  I would have lost that had I turned my wife away just because she had a kid.


IMHO, everything in life has advantages and disadvantages, a woman with child will more often be more mature, but it brings all the issues of being a step-father.  Choose your poison   I've noted that the consensus here to run away if the girl has a kid, so to each his own.  In the end, the marriage will simply depend of what both adults will make of it.