Heading back for 2nd visit to see my Novia next week

[DRGUY1]

So I'm heading back next week to spend 10 day's in Bogota to see my girl. She is taking her vacation that week to spend it with me, so it should be some quality time together--which I'm excited about.


I'm hoping to get to know her better, meet her family and friends, see how she lives and handles every day life situations, how emotional she is ;-), how she spends money, how she manages her life, her views on religion and her expectations etc...


I'm planning to get her a passport and possibly apply for a tourist Visa for her if things continue to go well. I've followed her on social media, talk to her a few times a week, but you really don't  get to know someone better until you spend several day's or weeks together.


I go into this trip/process with a positive and open mind to the possibilities, but also with a realistic and cautious approach to listen to my gut feelings.
I'm well traveled and not naive, but as the saying goes, Love is blind and at some point it blinds us all---so I need to keep everything in perspective.   


Any wise advice from those who have made the 2nd trip?

[Chris F]

Hi Dr. Guy,
You mention getting her a tourist visa. As you may know, this is very difficult to do.
Her odds of success will increase if:
She has traveled to other countries
She has a very established job or business in Bogota and owns property.
If these two do not apply to her, the odds of her being successful with obtaining a tourist visa are slim to none.
Have a great second trip and keep us informed.
 
 
 

[DRGUY1]

Chris, all those things will help her if we do decide to go that route. I did hear from numerous people in Bogota including an attorney that the approval process to obtain a US travel visa is not as difficult as it used to be. In fact, now most applications are approved,if you avoid the common pitfalls.


I actually know of 2 ladies that have received there visa's since I was there recently in October…so good news on that.


Also, on a side note K1 fiancé visa processing time is way down, with some getting processed in as less than 3 months.

[benjio]

Chris, all those things will help her if we do decide to go that route. I did hear from numerous people in Bogota including an attorney that the approval process to obtain a US travel visa is not as difficult as it used to be. In fact, now most applications are approved,if you avoid the common pitfalls.

I've heard the same thing and know of at least two Colombianos that were recently approved with only steady employment history. I'm not sure if they were lucky exceptions though.

[Elexpatriado]

You barely get to scratch the surface with them after several days or weeks. Did you check if she's still active on Colombia Cupid, Amigos.com, etc.

So I'm heading back next week to spend 10 day's in Bogota to see my girl. She is taking her vacation that week to spend it with me, so it should be some quality time together--which I'm excited about.


I'm hoping to get to know her better, meet her family and friends, see how she lives and handles every day life situations, how emotional she is ;-), how she spends money, how she manages her life, her views on religion and her expectations etc...


I'm planning to get her a passport and possibly apply for a tourist Visa for her if things continue to go well. I've followed her on social media, talk to her a few times a week, but you really don't  get to know someone better until you spend several day's or weeks together.


I go into this trip/process with a positive and open mind to the possibilities, but also with a realistic and cautious approach to listen to my gut feelings.
I'm well traveled and not naive, but as the saying goes, Love is blind and at some point it blinds us all---so I need to keep everything in perspective.   


Any wise advice from those who have made the 2nd trip?

[mambocowboy]

You barely get to scratch the surface with them after several days or weeks. Did you check if she's still active on Colombia Cupid, Amigos.com, etc.

asked my now wife to take down her profile before I even visited her and she complied, showed me she was serious...

[DRGUY1]

Yeah EXP, I checked all those sites and she is not on any of them including CC, LAC or Badoo…She leads a very quiet and humble life from what I can see and based on what I've seen on her FB.


I checked out her FB profile before friending her and it was as vanilla as can be. Just pictures of her and her family…I'm the first foreign guy she has met and communicated with.


I know, it sounds too good to be true, but I will keep looking for clues when we meet---but so far, nothing to disprove what she has told me and what I've seen.


There are of course good and bad women everywhere---maybe I just found the needle in the stack…I'll update when I'm there next week.

[fathertime]

Any wise advice from those who have made the 2nd trip?

Hey Guy,


Don't know about wise advise, but i had webcammed nightly between trips and was ready to propose on the 2nd trip if i felt things were going well...they did go well, so I did....I never liked the idea much of having a 'long distance girlfriend' so i tried to move things along and pick up as much info as I could...even still it took another 6/7 months or so to get my wife here...if that time frame has shrunk to 3 months like you said..then you might not feel the need to get started on the visa process...and keep things moving.


anyway...enjoy


Fathertime!   

[Hector_Lavoe]

I actually know of 2 ladies that have received there visa's since I was there recently in October…so good news on that.

DRGuy: Best of luck on your return trip! 10 days plus she has the week off.  Very exciting.

That is very interesting news regarding easing up the tourist visa for Colombian nationals. I'd be curious to hear more about that if anyone has any links to share on the subject..?

[buencamino]

Not long ago it was nearly impossible for a young single colombiana to get a tourist visa for the US. She pretty much had to be from an upper estrato, have money in the bank and own property or a business. Times and embassy restrictions seem to have changed. I'm hearing of more and more "barrio girls" getting the visa and visiting the US these days. 

[InnocentVixen]

Good luck and have a great time 


Have you had a disagreement yet? that will teach you both sooo much about how your relationship will be if you marry. If it hasn't happened and it does, cherish it whether it makes or breaks the deal!

[robert angel]

Good luck and have a great time 


Have you had a disagreement yet? that will teach you both sooo much about how your relationship will be if you marry. If it hasn't happened and it does, cherish it whether it makes or breaks the deal!

This is very true. There's nothing like having your gal see you when you think you've lost your pass port or when some two bit crook has hustled you out of your money, making you look like a fool. Harder for me to create scenarios under which a woman would lose her cool, largely because I don't think one should go about staging such, but it is a great experience to see how the 'other half' deals with heart break, anger, disappointments and such.

In our case, I  kind of went out of my way to show my ass and how I can be at my worst in certain situations--I didn't want it to be a total shock. Her having 4 brothers, as well as her Dad, helped her understand males a bit, but life in the USA creates a different kind of male animal, I think. Her culture and what does and doesn't shock her will vary, but it is good for both of you to have some kind of idea what ticks each other off.

Try to tell each other your strengths and weaknesses, your foibles, warts and all. There's a good chance you'll be seeing them eventually, why not be a little prepared?

[Hector_Lavoe]

Not long ago it was nearly impossible for a young single colombiana to get a tourist visa for the US. She pretty much had to be from an upper estrato, have money in the bank and own property or a business. Times and embassy restrictions seem to have changed. I'm hearing of more and more "barrio girls" getting the visa and visiting the US these days.

Yep, interesting. Thanks. I am guessing maybe the free trade agreement finally getting signed into law might have prodded some restrictions being lifted?

And if this trend really sticks it a good reason for a guy like me to continue to look in Colombia.  I never rule out any country but this is an interesting development.

[Elexpatriado]

Its very good your are logical about it, and playing the devils advocate , espescially at this early stage. Afterall , these long distance  relationship things are extremely risky.


With a girl like her, not being that much of a computer literate social butter fly, the big risk lies from old boyfriends and people she knows through her social community. I dont know how you can verify that without being nosy (a PI may be too much over the top). Quite often the girl may appear sweet and innocent, but all the Colombians know she was the Village Tramp. 90% of the time you can gauge this by her other actions around you, but there still is the 10%


Anyway, I think you are exploring this very logically. Sometimes if its "too good to be true" it is..


Good luck, I hope it turns out good.

Yeah EXP, I checked all those sites and she is not on any of them including CC, LAC or Badoo…She leads a very quiet and humble life from what I can see and based on what I've seen on her FB.


I checked out her FB profile before friending her and it was as vanilla as can be. Just pictures of her and her family…I'm the first foreign guy she has met and communicated with.


I know, it sounds too good to be true, but I will keep looking for clues when we meet---but so far, nothing to disprove what she has told me and what I've seen.


There are of course good and bad women everywhere---maybe I just found the needle in the stack…I'll update when I'm there next week.

[robert angel]

Its very good your are logical about it, and playing the devils advocate , espescially at this early stage. Afterall , these long distance  relationship things are extremely risky.


With a girl like her, not being that much of a computer literate social butter fly, the big risk lies from old boyfriends and people she knows through her social community. I dont know how you can verify that without being nosy (a PI may be too much over the top). Quite often the girl may appear sweet and innocent, but all the Colombians know she was the Village Tramp. 90% of the time you can gauge this by her other actions around you, but there still is the 10%


Anyway, I think you are exploring this very logically. Sometimes if its "too good to be true" it is..


Good luck, I hope it turns out good.

Another reason why it's good not to just meet the family, neighbors and look around, but to also see what kind of friends she keeps. Doing such isn't easy when you have ten days or a couple weeks at a time, especially when you want to 'get away' and see some exotic tourist sites, removing her from her natural element.

Still, in conversations, you should be able to pick up on what's going on in her friends and family life, the dramas, joys and sorrows to a lesser, but still significant extent.