Biggest Misconceptions about this process

[Kiltboy1]

heh, heh, this reminds me of my first Colombiana girlfriend. She was a former Miss Antioquia, certainly a 10 in her youth and still a 9.5 when I met her. We lived together for 4 months and it was a lot of fun mixed with a lot of her being unhappy and stressed. I never met a woman more neurotic and self-centered. A month after we met she got a boob job, which she payed for herself, not because she wanted bigger boobs but because the left one was slightly larger than the right one and she couldn't bear to wear a bikini because she felt ugly. Even though she was always the hottest girl at the pool she just never saw herself as being attractive. I was never so happy to break up with a girl and I did learn a valuable lesson, don't date Barbies.

Best Post Ever !!!!!!

KB

[mambocowboy]

This is not my first marriage so I am not desperate to be married. All of these things should be discussed and agreed upon before the wedding. So if you are not on the same page with ussues like these you should not get marrued in the first place.But that does not guarantee people don't change their mind as the years go on. I am very sure my wife would not stay married if I was working nights doing some kind of equivalent work rather than being home with her and the kids. But to each his own. Everybody has their own opinion on what marriage is and also what kind of things they can tolerate or not. I hate to even bring it up but I will since the board is looking pretty slim these days...but even something as appearingly simple as if my gf stated she wanted to have a baby but then immediately start the University full time to pursue her dream career....I would cut her loose before marrying her because that was not what I was looking for. I was looking for exactly what we have here right now. Everyone does their part. Nobody is stressed. I could easily be making a lot more money or making excuses to do things that to others seem more important or valuable than changing my sons diaper, but in reality I prefer to be with my family as much as possible and so does my wife. So we are in synch on that very important issue. I am not saying that others are wrong for doing things differently. It is all in what each of you are looking for. If you think "love conquers all", and you can somehow work around huge issues like that I think you are looking for trouble. The street goes both ways however and I am also conscious to what I am supposed to be bringing to the table as a man and husband. And if I start letting her down or change the plan drastically to something I already know she does not like, then I would not be surprised to be served with divorce papers one day.

From what I've seen of other gringo-Colombiana marriages, the issue of having kids can be problematic. My wife and I have a little one and I was perfectly clear about her putting having kids ahead of her career and we are on the same page about that. But my wife's Colombiana friends who are here, the majority of them don't want kids with their gringo husband. They prefer to travel back to BAQ several times a year, make money, get boob jobs and lipo, send money home to the family, have the gringo spoil their kids from a previous relationship, rather than get bogged down in child rearing a kid they have with the gringo. Some of these women have confided to my wife they have no intention of having kids with the gringo. As they say in Barranquilla, these marriages are "por interes."  I'm not sure if these issues were discussed before the couples married, whether the ladies are flipping the script, or what, but that's the pattern that I see with some of these marriages....

[Elexpatriado]

 
With your wife's friends marrying the Gringos , from the Gringos viewpoint, why the hell get married in the first place, if no kids, and espescially if they are interessadas?

It is way cheaper , you get way better sex (and more vareity)  and probably safer from an STD risk, if you just screw  these women in Baranquilla when they are native grillas/pre-pagos/interessadas and leave thier Puta asses in Colombia, where they belong....
 
Sounds like the Gringos your wifes "freinds " married are:
 
a.) Capn Salva Putas
 
or
 
b.) Think Marraige to a foreign woman and bringing her to the US is just like "Requisitioning a little portable R&R"....

From what I've seen of other gringo-Colombiana marriages, the issue of having kids can be problematic. My wife and I have a little one and I was perfectly clear about her putting having kids ahead of her career and we are on the same page about that. But my wife's Colombiana friends who are here, the majority of them don't want kids with their gringo husband. They prefer to travel back to BAQ several times a year, make money, get boob jobs and lipo, send money home to the family, have the gringo spoil their kids from a previous relationship, rather than get bogged down in child rearing a kid they have with the gringo. Some of these women have confided to my wife they have no intention of having kids with the gringo. As they say in Barranquilla, these marriages are "por interes."  I'm not sure if these issues were discussed before the couples married, whether the ladies are flipping the script, or what, but that's the pattern that I see with some of these marriages....

[Awesome]

With your wife's friends marrying the Gringos , from the Gringos viewpoint, why the hell get married in the first place, if no kids, and espescially if they are interessadas?

It is way cheaper , you get way better sex (and more vareity)  and probably safer from an STD risk, if you just screw  these women in Baranquilla when they are native grillas/pre-pagos/interessadas and leave thier Puta asses in Colombia, where they belong....
 
Sounds like the Gringos your wifes "freinds " married are:
 
a.) Capn Salva Putas
 
or
 
b.) Think Marraige to a foreign woman and bringing her to the US is just like "Requisitioning a little portable R&R"....

I think what mc describes is perfectly normal.  It makes perfect sense.  Most gringos search for colombian wives why?  To leverage their "righ gringo" status and hopefully get a beautiful, young wife, something they can't get in their home country.  Colombianas search for a gringo why?  To get that green card and all of the benefits that come along with it.  This simply is NOT a recipe for true love.  Some guys, like mc are able to make the system work to their benefit in that they do find true love, but I think that's not such an easy task for most guys.  I'd even say it's virtually impossible for many, but that's still not a reason not to go for it anyway.


Still, being married to and living with a beautiful younger woman who may be using you is still alot better than being some sad, lonely, old schlub.  Si o no?

[mambocowboy]

I think what mc describes is perfectly normal.  It makes perfect sense.  Most gringos search for colombian wives why?  To leverage their "righ gringo" status and hopefully get a beautiful, young wife, something they can't get in their home country.  Colombianas search for a gringo why?  To get that green card and all of the benefits that come along with it.  This simply is NOT a recipe for true love.  Some guys, like mc are able to make the system work to their benefit in that they do find true love, but I think that's not such an easy task for most guys.  I'd even say it's virtually impossible for many, but that's still not a reason not to go for it anyway.


Still, being married to and living with a beautiful younger woman who may be using you is still alot better than being some sad, lonely, old schlub.  Si o no?

I think the gringos end up disappointed the Colombianas doesn't want kids but still decide it's better than being single or with a gringa. And those boob jobs and lipos  do what they're supposed to do, so the gringo gets some eye candy on his arm to elevate his social status...

[robert angel]

I think the gringos end up disappointed the Colombianas doesn't want kids but still decide it's better than being single or with a gringa. And those boob jobs and lipos  do what they're supposed to do, so the gringo gets some eye candy on his arm to elevate his social status...

If what I'm reading is true, one difference in comparing Colombianas from Filipinas is that if you marry a Filipina and then balk on having kids, it well may cause some serious problems down the line-quite possibly divorce. That's sometimes even the case if you marry a young Filipina and discussed the "Babies?" question and the mutual decision was not to have kids.


Almost all Filipinas want children of their own. it's very important to almost all of them, sooner or later. If they aren't having babies already, when they go to social events,  other Filipinas don't ask whether or not you plan on having a baby. They typically ask: "When are you going to have a baby?"


I also think Filipinas are less likely to want the sort of plastic surgery described above. However there are some who might want to have nose jobs, adding a more 'western' style nose.

[Elexpatriado]

The ones that know laugh behind these guys backs- it's not elevating their social status at all in my opinion. Maybe better than being alone or marrying
 a gringa until she divorces and takes them to the cleaner, or picks up an STD from one of her adventures with the "Barrio Boys" on one of her trips back in BAQ...
 A puta is a puta even after she is married (sometimes more so)..
Better to live and die alone with honour than live like that..
 

I think the gringos end up disappointed the Colombianas doesn't want kids but still decide it's better than being single or with a gringa. And those boob jobs and lipos  do what they're supposed to do, so the gringo gets some eye candy on his arm to elevate his social status...

[fathertime]

From what I've seen of other gringo-Colombiana marriages, the issue of having kids can be problematic. My wife and I have a little one and I was perfectly clear about her putting having kids ahead of her career and we are on the same page about that. But my wife's Colombiana friends who are here, the majority of them don't want kids with their gringo husband. They prefer to travel back to BAQ several times a year, make money, get boob jobs and lipo, send money home to the family, have the gringo spoil their kids from a previous relationship, rather than get bogged down in child rearing a kid they have with the gringo. Some of these women have confided to my wife they have no intention of having kids with the gringo. As they say in Barranquilla, these marriages are "por interes."  I'm not sure if these issues were discussed before the couples married, whether the ladies are flipping the script, or what, but that's the pattern that I see with some of these marriages....

No kid or 2, no marriage...that was that...and I had enough options to not have to take on a woman with another man's kids...that was an option I used...although some of those ladies with a young child were VERY tempting...I just knew I didn't have it in me, and somehow cut those ladies loose...If I were a lot older and had less options, then i can see MAYBE taking on another man's child, if I liked the kid..but like Mambocowboy said, I would have concerns that i'd be just a mule ( and a gringo joke) and I don't like being a mule, a joke, or a gringo..actually gringo is ok!   
Fathertime! 

[Elexpatriado]

What other reason is there to get married than to have kids, unless you really honestly find your true "soul Mate' which you never will after 4 or 5 short trips to some foreign country meeting someone from a totally alien culture.
 
Myself, theoretically and hypotheticaly,if I found a woman with 1 kid, and I fell in love with her, and trusted her I would marry her, if she wanted another kid, and we would try.
 
But it hasnt happened yet, and at my age, not holding my breathe...probably wont happen..but no reason not to quit trying...

[benjio]

heh, heh, this reminds me of my first Colombiana girlfriend. She was a former Miss Antioquia, certainly a 10 in her youth and still a 9.5 when I met her. We lived together for 4 months and it was a lot of fun mixed with a lot of her being unhappy and stressed. I never met a woman more neurotic and self-centered. A month after we met she got a boob job, which she payed for herself, not because she wanted bigger boobs but because the left one was slightly larger than the right one and she couldn't bear to wear a bikini because she felt ugly. Even though she was always the hottest girl at the pool she just never saw herself as being attractive. I was never so happy to break up with a girl and I did learn a valuable lesson, don't date Barbies.

Andy...great story. I've been there with the beauty queens. It's almost never worth it.

[Hector_Lavoe]

A puta is a puta even after she is married (sometimes more so)..
Better to live and die alone with honour than live like that..

Yes, I agree with you 100%.

I also use the same screening device Mambo and Fathertime used: I only seek ladies with no kids. Of course, this does not eliminate all gold diggers but it does present you with more ladies who are serious about love, having kids, etc.