Just booked my return flight to Colombia for the 2nd trip

[Awesome]

I think a woman who's super eager to get to america of course is going to act a certain way.  What you have to be concerned with is how she feels 2 or 3 years into the marriage.  And if her attitude changes and she realizes she's stuck with a man that she doesn't truly love and she wants out of the relationship, I don't know if her "fear of god" is going to overpower her unhappiness.

I think a couple's sex life is a good indicator of how strong the marriage is.  If twice a day turns into once a week, then once a month, then almost never...  If it gets to that point I don't think god almighy up  in heaven is going to be able to help you out very much.

[AndyLee]

That's a given. I've seen the same things. But there's two sides to the religious fence. What are you saying...there's not a faithful Colombiana on the planet? Seriously? SO HEY EVERY GUY ON HERE MARRIED TO A COLOMBIANA!!! Guess what! According to Elexpatriado, every single one of you suckers on here that married a Colombiana after being away from her for an extended period of time waiting on the fiance visa to go through...your wife [snip]ed another guy(s) in Colombia while you two were dating! Just thought I'd let you all know!...and by the way Admins/Moderators...that's me being very sarcastic! 
 
My post was to make the point that the faithful girls out there aren't faithful because they never think about [snip]ing another guy. It's not because they're afraid of you finding out either. A woman can find a random guy to stick a penis in them anywhere and you wouldn't know a thing. There's something else there. A belief, an ideal...even an obligation to do what's right. Everyone, atheist or not, needs some type of moral compass. "Una relacion lejos es una de pendejos?" Pssssshhhh....truly a Colombian saying made up by Colombians who were probably cheating on someone they were living with...so what's the [snip]ing difference when it comes to what they think? A truly talented people when it comes to deflecting attention from their own misdeeds.
 
You think what I thought about Colombia about 3 years ago. I've spent about 14 more months there during the last three years (off and on and mostly in Bogota) with a class of women that have absolutely no interest in foreign dating or leaving the country. You should spend a little more time with your feet on the ground and not assume the worst about everyone before giving them a chance. I don't trust any Colombian until I get to know them very well, but I don't assume the absolute worse about every single one I meet before getting to know them. Some bitch really [snip]ed you over something serious buddy...and I'm sorry about that. If you've posted details about your bad experiences I'm sorry I missed them; but I'm guessing you ignored some tell tale signs during the process to keep stroking a hot piece of ass. And as I've said before...some of you guys gotta take the blame for decisions YOU made with a couple of women before condemning an entire country. You speak about Colombians like they're the smartest game runners on Earth. Not my experience. In most cases that happens when some sucker just can't get over the fact that he's dating the hottest girl that ever gave him the time of day, and doesn't realize there's a dozen more within spitting distance that are ready and willing.
 
Next you're going to tell me we're all going to hell because there's no heaven. Even if you don't believe in either, your pessimistic viewpoint towards life would only draw one inevitable conclusion at the end of it.

Sarcasm aside, you make some very good point here Ben. It is easy to get ripped off-scammed-heart broken in any country, not just Colombia. I've always tried to steer away from generalizing that just because one guy had a bad experience doesn't mean the whole country is crawling with women out to screw you over. My experience closely parallels yours…..when you date good women you have generally good experiences, and vice versa.

[fathertime]

That's a given. I've seen the same things. But there's two sides to the religious fence. What are you saying...there's not a faithful Colombiana on the planet? Seriously? SO HEY EVERY GUY ON HERE MARRIED TO A COLOMBIANA!!! Guess what! According to Elexpatriado, every single one of you suckers on here that married a Colombiana after being away from her for an extended period of time waiting on the fiance visa to go through...your wife [snip]ed another guy(s) in Colombia while you two were dating! Just thought I'd let you all know!...and by the way Admins/Moderators...that's me being very sarcastic! 
 
My post was to make the point that the faithful girls out there aren't faithful because they never think about [snip]ing another guy. It's not because they're afraid of you finding out either. A woman can find a random guy to stick a penis in them anywhere and you wouldn't know a thing. There's something else there. A belief, an ideal...even an obligation to do what's right. Everyone, atheist or not, needs some type of moral compass. "Una relacion lejos es una de pendejos?" Pssssshhhh....truly a Colombian saying made up by Colombians who were probably cheating on someone they were living with...so what's the [snip]ing difference when it comes to what they think? A truly talented people when it comes to deflecting attention from their own misdeeds.
 
You think what I thought about Colombia about 3 years ago. I've spent about 14 more months there during the last three years (off and on and mostly in Bogota) with a class of women that have absolutely no interest in foreign dating or leaving the country. You should spend a little more time with your feet on the ground and not assume the worst about everyone before giving them a chance. I don't trust any Colombian until I get to know them very well, but I don't assume the absolute worse about every single one I meet before getting to know them. Some bitch really [snip]ed you over something serious buddy...and I'm sorry about that. If you've posted details about your bad experiences I'm sorry I missed them; but I'm guessing you ignored some tell tale signs during the process to keep stroking a hot piece of ass. And as I've said before...some of you guys gotta take the blame for decisions YOU made with a couple of women before condemning an entire country. You speak about Colombians like they're the smartest game runners on Earth. Not my experience. In most cases that happens when some sucker just can't get over the fact that he's dating the hottest girl that ever gave him the time of day, and doesn't realize there's a dozen more within spitting distance that are ready and willing.
 
Next you're going to tell me we're all going to hell because there's no heaven. Even if you don't believe in either, your pessimistic viewpoint towards life would only draw one inevitable conclusion at the end of it.

Well Benjio, i'm glad you are making these arguments nowadays because i've gotten tired of repeatedly making them myself! while seeing the merits in expatriado's points, i fall more on the side of the points you are making...there are still quite a few women and men that can make international marriage to a young babe work for themselves 

I think a woman who's super eager to get to america of course is going to act a certain way.  What you have to be concerned with is how she feels 2 or 3 years into the marriage.  And if her attitude changes and she realizes she's stuck with a man that she doesn't truly love and she wants out of the relationship, I don't know if her "fear of god" is going to overpower her unhappiness.

I think a couple's sex life is a good indicator of how strong the marriage is.  If twice a day turns into once a week, then once a month, then almost never...  If it gets to that point I don't think god almighy up  in heaven is going to be able to help you out very much.

well awesome...i have to agree that if a woman was coming here for all the wrong reasons 2-3 years would be a long long time to hang out with a poor sap she didn't really have many feelings for in the first place...hopefully individuals can grow their relationships and not let negative feelings for each other take over, but some people can't and that is just how it goes...and the world keeps on spinning


Fathertime! 

[Researcher]

Like I said.. the  putas all go to mass to pray for more customers, the sicarios go to coonfession to make up for "poping" a few victims, and your "Relacion de Lejos / Pendejos" wife or girlfreind balls a couple barrio boys, picks up the clap, and says a few Hail Mary's and it's all OK...i'VE SEEN IT...

All the more reason to be careful. I really wonder sometimes if there are guys who think all women outside their own country are pure as the driven snow. I started out skeptical and thought all these foriegn babes just wanted a visa and that was it. Until I lived outside the US and experienced it for myself I didn't think marrying a foreign woman would work but I've been married for more than six years now. Marrying my wife was the best decision I have ever made in my life hands down. She is truly a blessing. The fact that she is a Colombiana only adds to it. She is a happy and positive person who works hard in everything she does. I had to sort thru some putas before I met her but it was worth it.

[benjio]

Well Benjio, i'm glad you are making these arguments nowadays because i've gotten tired of repeatedly making them myself! while seeing the merits in expatriado's points, i fall more on the side of the points you are making...there are still quite a few women and men that can make international marriage to a young babe work for themselves 

well awesome...i have to agree that if a woman was coming here for all the wrong reasons 2-3 years would be a long long time to hang out with a poor sap she didn't really have many feelings for in the first place...hopefully individuals can grow their relationships and not let negative feelings for each other take over, but some people can't and that is just how it goes...and the world keeps on spinning


Fathertime!

Hey FT...I was 30, had only dated two Colombianas seriously (and unsuccessfully), and had only spent significant time on the coast of Colombia, in Pereira and Neiva. You gotta give us young bucks a little time to learn on our own! 

[mambocowboy]

That's a given. I've seen the same things. But there's two sides to the religious fence. What are you saying...there's not a faithful Colombiana on the planet? Seriously? SO HEY EVERY GUY ON HERE MARRIED TO A COLOMBIANA!!! Guess what! According to Elexpatriado, every single one of you suckers on here that married a Colombiana after being away from her for an extended period of time waiting on the fiance visa to go through...your wife [snip]ed another guy(s) in Colombia while you two were dating! Just thought I'd let you all know!...and by the way Admins/Moderators...that's me being very sarcastic! 
 
My post was to make the point that the faithful girls out there aren't faithful because they never think about [snip]ing another guy. It's not because they're afraid of you finding out either. A woman can find a random guy to stick a penis in them anywhere and you wouldn't know a thing. There's something else there. A belief, an ideal...even an obligation to do what's right. Everyone, atheist or not, needs some type of moral compass. "Una relacion lejos es una de pendejos?" Pssssshhhh....truly a Colombian saying made up by Colombians who were probably cheating on someone they were living with...so what's the [snip]ing difference when it comes to what they think? A truly talented people when it comes to deflecting attention from their own misdeeds.
 
You think what I thought about Colombia about 3 years ago. I've spent about 14 more months there during the last three years (off and on and mostly in Bogota) with a class of women that have absolutely no interest in foreign dating or leaving the country. You should spend a little more time with your feet on the ground and not assume the worst about everyone before giving them a chance. I don't trust any Colombian until I get to know them very well, but I don't assume the absolute worse about every single one I meet before getting to know them. Some bitch really [snip]ed you over something serious buddy...and I'm sorry about that. If you've posted details about your bad experiences I'm sorry I missed them; but I'm guessing you ignored some tell tale signs during the process to keep stroking a hot piece of ass. And as I've said before...some of you guys gotta take the blame for decisions YOU made with a couple of women before condemning an entire country. You speak about Colombians like they're the smartest game runners on Earth. Not my experience. In most cases that happens when some sucker just can't get over the fact that he's dating the hottest girl that ever gave him the time of day, and doesn't realize there's a dozen more within spitting distance that are ready and willing.
 
Next you're going to tell me we're all going to hell because there's no heaven. Even if you don't believe in either, your pessimistic viewpoint towards life would only draw one inevitable conclusion at the end of it.

anybody who's so negative about Colombianas is hanging out with the wrong ones. If you always suspect the worst in people you will find it....the American guys I know who are married to Colombianas tend to have alot going for them and have good social skills, the exact opposite of the media stereotype...

[whitey]

Bad case of Parque Lleras Syndrome ...

[Elexpatriado]

Thanks ...right..take it or leave it...and I wasn't saying every Colombiana is unfaithful when left alone...allthough you hang around Colombians a lot ,it gets you thinking that way...just saying, it's ludicrous to rely on Religious Fear and Superstition to "Control " the women while you are away (or maybe Stevie Boy was being facetious and I missed it)..say "El Senor va a guardarte cuando estoy lejos"  or "Dios Bendigas"..and she'll stay celibate because of fear of the wrath of God..best way is to make 100% sure you have a good woman (religious Or not)in the first place and DON"T leave her alone for extended periods..after all.. what kind of a relacion is it if you are not living together?
 

elexpatriado is very insightful and accurate in his commentary.
 
Very worth at least considering that he may have valid points.
 
Take em or leave em. But at least take the time to contemplate what he writes.  Though obviously jaded, (and I can imagine jaded con razon),  he has a lot of accurate insight that he is sharing and its worth keeping what he is writing in mind. 
I am not saying follow his advice or do as he says. We all have to do our own thing and we all know best. I am just saying that  it would not hurt to acknowledge, (even if only to ones self and not on the forum), that what he says may actually be valid.


 keep it coming elex…. i love it!!!!

[Awesome]

Bad case of Parque Lleras Syndrome ...

What is Parque Lleras Syndrome?  Lol

[Elexpatriado]

 
I sure dont have Parque lleras syndrom... I avoid hanging with the guys at le Bon and Juan Valdez...
 
 

What is Parque Lleras Syndrome?  Lol

[Elexpatriado]

Of course i wasn't saying that every single Colombiana isnt faithful. But unfaithfal Colombianas are as common as Arepas. And it sure isnt good for the relationship for 2 people to be apart for extended periods of time. Working overseas in the oilpatch for years, i  have seen a good percentage of guys working on rotation away from thier wives or girlfreinds partake in escapades withthe local women. Even for faithful people of high morals and standards a long distance relationship sucks. maybe for a short time, bt never for extended periods. That I can say with 100% confidence,
 
As far as feet on the ground, thats why I have been living here for the past 14 months.We both agree on that.
 
Of course we all make our own decisions-good or bad-, and its nobodies fault but our own. Not that I ever made any mistakes..just seen what other guys have done Ja..Ja.Ja..
 
No entiendo el resto de tu escribiendo abajo...what's heaven and hell got to do with it???

That's a given. I've seen the same things. But there's two sides to the religious fence. What are you saying...there's not a faithful Colombiana on the planet? Seriously? SO HEY EVERY GUY ON HERE MARRIED TO A COLOMBIANA!!! Guess what! According to Elexpatriado, every single one of you suckers on here that married a Colombiana after being away from her for an extended period of time waiting on the fiance visa to go through...your wife [snip]ed another guy(s) in Colombia while you two were dating! Just thought I'd let you all know!...and by the way Admins/Moderators...that's me being very sarcastic! 
 
My post was to make the point that the faithful girls out there aren't faithful because they never think about [snip]ing another guy. It's not because they're afraid of you finding out either. A woman can find a random guy to stick a penis in them anywhere and you wouldn't know a thing. There's something else there. A belief, an ideal...even an obligation to do what's right. Everyone, atheist or not, needs some type of moral compass. "Una relacion lejos es una de pendejos?" Pssssshhhh....truly a Colombian saying made up by Colombians who were probably cheating on someone they were living with...so what's the [snip]ing difference when it comes to what they think? A truly talented people when it comes to deflecting attention from their own misdeeds.
 
You think what I thought about Colombia about 3 years ago. I've spent about 14 more months there during the last three years (off and on and mostly in Bogota) with a class of women that have absolutely no interest in foreign dating or leaving the country. You should spend a little more time with your feet on the ground and not assume the worst about everyone before giving them a chance. I don't trust any Colombian until I get to know them very well, but I don't assume the absolute worse about every single one I meet before getting to know them. Some bitch really [snip]ed you over something serious buddy...and I'm sorry about that. If you've posted details about your bad experiences I'm sorry I missed them; but I'm guessing you ignored some tell tale signs during the process to keep stroking a hot piece of ass. And as I've said before...some of you guys gotta take the blame for decisions YOU made with a couple of women before condemning an entire country. You speak about Colombians like they're the smartest game runners on Earth. Not my experience. In most cases that happens when some sucker just can't get over the fact that he's dating the hottest girl that ever gave him the time of day, and doesn't realize there's a dozen more within spitting distance that are ready and willing.
 
Next you're going to tell me we're all going to hell because there's no heaven. Even if you don't believe in either, your pessimistic viewpoint towards life would only draw one inevitable conclusion at the end of it.

[fathertime]

Hey FT...I was 30, had only dated two Colombianas seriously (and unsuccessfully), and had only spent significant time on the coast of Colombia, in Pereira and Neiva. You gotta give us young bucks a little time to learn on our own! 

Heh heh, Benjio your experience with the Colombian ladies adds lots to the site so I'm glad you are seeing things in a reasonably positive light nowadays....in my opinion it is the way to be if a person wants to have good, potentially lasting relationships with the ladies!


 




of course it is interesting to hear the stories/perspectives from guys like JWR and others...it is usually very difficult to get a perspective on where things went awry since we only hear one side of the story.




I would say one of the things we don't hear to often is how one of us (the men) change over the course of a relationship with our colombianas...I'm speculating that it is often a large factor in the demise of the international relationships.




Fathertime! 

[whitey]

I sure dont have Parque lleras syndrom... I avoid hanging with the guys at le Bon and Juan Valdez...

Hey Elexpatriado ... wasn't intending to impune your character or imply you hang out with those guys ... my apologies if it sounded that way.


What I meant by "Parque Lleras Syndrome" is something I've noticed in the writings of a lot of guys that spend time in Medellin, and have little good to say about the women there ... which I suspect is because they are either attracted to the wrong type of woman ... or attract the wrong type of woman.


I can't recall anything you've written that I didn't agree with, apart from the fact that it represents a CERTAIN TYPE of woman that can be found in Colombia (and other countries) ... and I don't believe represents the majority of women there.


Anyhow ... glad you're posting ... I enjoy your contributions and I think it's of value to the members here ...


Cheers ... Whitey

[robert angel]

There's little doubt that there are plenty of people who commit all kinds of crimes, offenses--whatever you want to call it and still go to church regularly. I have seen prostitutes approach me, get turned down and go to mass instead.

 
It really rankles me to see folks who act 'holier than thou' because for whatever reasons, they sit up in the first few rows of church pews. Not that I try and judge, but some of the people who I'd say epitomize living up to the 'Ten Commandments' and other espoused Christian principals, don't even attend church often, as far as I know.

 
A lot of mobsters--folks involved in murders, prostitution, loan sharking, narcotics, numbers, philandering etc., go to church every Sunday--I used to see hard core, 'made wiseguys' at mass in the Bronx all the time. These are guys who will make the sign of the cross every time they even drive by a church, even if on their way to whack someone. I'm sure lot of corporate and govt. crooks also fill the pews in their parishes. Putting a few bucks in the basket makes cretins like them feel better about themselves, I guess.

 
I don't care HOW religious a woman proclaims herself to be, to me it has no bearing on whether she'll be faithful or not. It's more a personality trait--a test of will and resistance to temptation that's a factor. If her Mom and sisters were (are) loose, I'd expect the same and assume life in the USA will only make it worse.

 
The will to resist screwing outside of marriage can be quite strong and then erode over time if you're not careful. How you attend to your love life can make a big difference--ignore her and her temptations may well be doubly strong and you may be sh!t out of luck.

 
My wife prays a lot quietly and she only had one request of me prior to accepting my marriage proposal. That was to always try and keep God in the middle. Sort of a nebulous request, but it hasn't been a problem so far. We never really talk about it per say.

 
I think my helping those in need goes a long way in making me look good as a Christian in her eyes. But she's TOO generous. We exited a restaurant two weeks ago and an old guy was standing outside with an empty gas can, asking for money. She doesn't carry cash, but she asked me to give the guy $5. I rolled my eyes, but agreed.

 
I have been to all the shelters and soup kitchens in our city, accompanied by their administrators. I explained to her a number of times that experts will say to never give cash--to give food, clothing, maybe put gas in their empty tank yourself--but never give cash, as it usually goes for booze, cigarettes  and drugs. Our city is a haven to homeless--there is a almost always a bed and at least a couple meals to anyone who isn't visibly intoxicated--but they have to wake up real early, eat and hit the streets again. Anyway, the gas station was right next to the restaurant. We got in the car and pulled over a few places and we watched this guy go inside, get a 40 ounce bottle of beer, get into his truck (w/o getting gas) and drive off. Finally she got my point! (Until the next time anyway)

 
We're not holy rollers, we don't try and 'save souls'--sometimes we'll even go a while w/o attending church or she'll go alone if I have something else going. But in her quiet way, in the way she treats other people, she 'walks the walk', without talking a whole lot about it. She does have a bit of the 'Catholic Guilt Syndrome', basically because her life is better than about 90 million other Filipinos, but I can live with that.

[Awesome]

 I've spent about 14 more months there during the last three years (off and on and mostly in Bogota) with a class of women that have absolutely no interest in foreign dating or leaving the country.

So you're saying that colombian women who are interested in foreign dating or leaving the country are of a different "class"?

[robert angel]

So you're saying that colombian women who are interested in foreign dating or leaving the country are of a different "class"?

Not to speak for Benjio and Awesome, I bet you figured this out already, but I'd dare say that probably in every country, the higher up the economic & social scale a woman is, the less likely they are to want to leave the luxuries, comforts and familiar faces they've come to know. They're less likely to move abroad and marry into a totally foreign culture, far from their family, effectively going from being 'someone' of status, to having to start all over.
 
Like everything else, they are certainly exceptions, (I think Whitey and I have wives that fall into that category) but most folks marry to better their lot in life and if they're already viviendo a lo grande, they're probably more inclined to stay put. I bet their families would also prefer they do so and marry a 'suitable' local hombre.

[Awesome]

I understand what you're saying RA but I thought the conversation was about morals.  A woman from a privileged background could easily have lower moral standards than a woman from a more humble background.  So benjio might be schmoozing with some rich broads in bogota but that doesn't necessarily mean that they're any better "class" than a girl who works hard at an honest minimum wage job.

[robert angel]

I understand what you're saying RA but I thought the conversation was about morals.  A woman from a privileged background could easily have lower moral standards than a woman from a more humble background.  So benjio might be schmoozing with some rich broads in bogota but that doesn't necessarily mean that they're any better "class" than a girl who works hard at an honest minimum wage job.

True. Money, 'class' and scruples are three entirely different entities. I was looking at the odds of landing and convincing women from various strata--socio-economic classes to move and marry abroad. I think regardless of their scruples (or lack thereof) the fact remains that the higher up the strata scale they are, the less likely they'll be willing to relocate.
 
Why? Just for love? You must remember this--"A kiss is just a kiss, a sigh is just a sigh" (As Time Goes By)--but real estate, money and connections are something different entirely!
 
And I'll bet the dames Benjio's talking about who are in no hurry to live in the USA, probably have good careers, money in the bank and are very, very attractive physically. (and they know it)

[Researcher]

Of course i wasn't saying that every single Colombiana isnt faithful. But unfaithfal Colombianas are as common as Arepas. And it sure isnt good for the relationship for 2 people to be apart for extended periods of time. Working overseas in the oilpatch for years, i  have seen a good percentage of guys working on rotation away from thier wives or girlfreinds partake in escapades withthe local women. Even for faithful people of high morals and standards a long distance relationship sucks. maybe for a short time, bt never for extended periods. That I can say with 100% confidence,
 
As far as feet on the ground, thats why I have been living here for the past 14 months.We both agree on that.
 
Of course we all make our own decisions-good or bad-, and its nobodies fault but our own. Not that I ever made any mistakes..just seen what other guys have done Ja..Ja.Ja..
 
No entiendo el resto de tu escribiendo abajo...what's heaven and hell got to do with it???

Your post came across as indicating all of them anyway. Other guys have posted the same type post claiming to be interested in "warning" others of the pitfalls involved. I have seen many just get argumentative when challenge. At least you are honest enough to admit not all the women are like that. That is the truth. Of course what you posted could be applied to just about any country I have ever experienced. To me, running across bad people is part of the process. Only a complete rube would need to know that. Hahahaha!

[Elexpatriado]

In reality, the vast majority of Colombian women, even the ones that say they are open to relocating, dont really want to leave thier family, culture and lifestyle...if given any choice in thematter..

Not to speak for Benjio and Awesome, I bet you figured this out already, but I'd dare say that probably in every country, the higher up the economic & social scale a woman is, the less likely they are to want to leave the luxuries, comforts and familiar faces they've come to know. They're less likely to move abroad and marry into a totally foreign culture, far from their family, effectively going from being 'someone' of status, to having to start all over.
 
Like everything else, they are certainly exceptions, (I think Whitey and I have wives that fall into that category) but most folks marry to better their lot in life and if they're already viviendo a lo grande, they're probably more inclined to stay put. I bet their families would also prefer they do so and marry a 'suitable' local hombre.

[stnmasn]

I got a kinda lousy story.   Towards the end of our marriage The ex wife and i lived together for the final 2 years in separate bedrooms. Without sex.
We got along well enough,,,, we stayed together for the kid…... As well as the fear of the unknown keeping us together  also I would imagine.


We had an agreement that we wouldn't have any other relationships while we lived together. Although for the most part we weren't a couple at that point.
We were both faithful through the whole 9 years of marriage EVEN THROUGH the sad ending.   we both have MORALS and we both have RESPECT for the other.
That is what kept us both faithful to each other…. the RESPECT we have for each other.
Not the "fear of god"




One may think,  (perhaps  foolishly),  that If you win the HEART and the RESPECT of a GOOD COLOMBIAN girl…... Treat her with respect…. SHe will be faithful and true to her man.  No matter her families economic level
.
 That has been my experience…….Granted I have only been married to 1 Colombiana and therefore have only 1 Colombian marriage experience. But it was a faithful experience.  And she is of a middle class upbringing.


If i feel like if i have met the criteria i wrote above about Heart and Respect and GOOD woman.I wouldn't worry about my colombiana cheating on me just because she is colombian and its potentially in her DNA.




 fathertime about your comment about the men changing through the course of the relationship. I would have to say probablamente que si …i imagine the men can change as well as can the women…….for me though the woman probably has more of a curve for change than the man with all she is exposed to when moving here. 


But it takes two in a relationship for good and bad.

[robert angel]

I got a kinda lousy story.   Towards the end of our marriage The ex wife and i lived together for the final 2 years in separate bedrooms. Without sex.
We got along well enough,,,, we stayed together for the kid…... As well as the fear of the unknown keeping us together  also I would imagine.


We had an agreement that we wouldn't have any other relationships while we lived together. Although for the most part we weren't a couple at that point.
We were both faithful through the whole 9 years of marriage EVEN THROUGH the sad ending.   we both have MORALS and we both have RESPECT for the other.
That is what kept us both faithful to each other…. the RESPECT we have for each other.
Not the "fear of god"




One may think,  (perhaps  foolishly),  that If you win the HEART and the RESPECT of a GOOD COLOMBIAN girl…... Treat her with respect…. SHe will be faithful and true to her man.  No matter her families economic level
.
 That has been my experience…….Granted I have only been married to 1 Colombiana and therefore have only 1 Colombian marriage experience. But it was a faithful experience.  And she is of a middle class upbringing.


If i feel like if i have met the criteria i wrote above about Heart and Respect and GOOD woman.I wouldn't worry about my colombiana cheating on me just because she is colombian and its potentially in her DNA.




 fathertime about your comment about the men changing through the course of the relationship. I would have to say probablamente que si …i imagine the men can change as well as can the women…….for me though the woman probably has more of a curve for change than the man with all she is exposed to when moving here. 


But it takes two in a relationship for good and bad.

Thanks for having the guts to post that. Definitely some reality checks in there. We held on for too long in my first marriage, with an in house separation. Very cold, with one side not willing to get any counseling, (the stoic, private Asian mindset) but no infidelity. Once one side doesn't want to talk, never mind going to counseling, it's all over but for paying the legal bills. We legally ended it when my youngest son was still so little that it didn't impact him severely. But it really devastated our older son and looking back, we should've ended it when we knew it was over and that there was 'no gas left in the tank'--which was years before. Maybe it would've been easier on our older son. Hindsight's often 20/20, I guess.

[stnmasn]

Guys you should know that many times i have said  to myself "why the [snip] did i marry her, what the [snip] did I do"……


but looking back in hind site I would do it again!!!  [size=78%] If I  [/size][/size]could go back in time knowing what I know, and how it ends.  I would do it again. Of course some things differently but i would marry her again….would I rush it again like we did.. without knowing each other well enough?  Probably….  She is  a good mother and a decent friend. We have a great 6 year old who is bilingual y regularly exposed to a culture that I am very fond of and that exposure to colombian culture i feel enriches his life.[size=78%]


[/size]Guys i also have to say it has not been a cheap adventure in any way, all the travel,,,, the financial support as she learned english and got assimilated here in the USA and started earning herself.   [size=78%]

[/size]The final act is going to be EXPENSIVE also. the divorce. but it isn't the end of the world……..it is actually the beginning of a new one.  As i think FT said "the world keeps spinning"[size=78%]


[/size]guys I dont want to scare anybody away from this approach to finding a wife. I lived it and I dont regret it.[size=78%]
[/size]If I never had the balls to take the colombian plunge and actually do it I wouldn't know what I know now. It isn't all pleasant what I've learned/experienced …. but I wouldn't give it back.[size=78%]

[/size]I have a feeling that i also have lived through some of what elexpat has lived through…. I could be very bitter for things that have happened between wife and i,,,,,[size=78%]
[/size]I also could be very bitter for things and ways that  some of the ex's family have treated me [size=78%]

[/size]But I choose not to be.[size=78%]


[/size]I like what elexpat writes because there is a lot of truth in what he writes…he is sharp, accurate, and harsh.  [size=78%]

[/size]Pardon my rambling. Just wanted to share with the class some more colombian marriage thoughts.[size=78%]

[Researcher]

In reality, the vast majority of Colombian women, even the ones that say they are open to relocating, dont really want to leave thier family, culture and lifestyle...if given any choice in thematter..

Correction, the "vast majority" you have spoken to.

[Awesome]

I would say one of the things we don't hear to often is how one of us (the men) change over the course of a relationship with our colombianas...I'm speculating that it is often a large factor in the demise of the international relationships.

How exactly do the men change?  Especially the ones who are already in their 40's and 50's I don't see them "changing" very much.

A young colombiana on the other hand I can see her changing tremendously.  Not only because of her young age and the natural transition of maturing from a girl into a woman, but from her value and status as a person increasing exponentially once she goes from the traditional society to our fast paced, ultra modern, liberal society.  The change could be pretty dramatic in some cases.