Ideas to Mitigate Risks Associated With Colombian Women?

[ColombianLoco]

Gents,
 
First of all, I’d like to thanks those of you who regularly contribute your experiences/wisdom here since many of us “newbies” learn a great deal from you.
I’m hoping to get your thoughts on a couple of points.  I’m considering using Introductions by Consuelo or LatinLifeMates in Bogota to find a wife. 
-          I’ve read all the prior posts here regarding these two agencies here but would welcome any thoughts/comments if anyone has used them lately or if you’d like to share something you haven’t already mentioned in this forum.     
-          The agencies claim the main reason why these women are interested in foreign men is because they prefer them over Colombian men.  I’m pretty certain the main reason is because they would like to go somewhere where they can be better off.  The way I understand the way the process typically works, you go and you meet her, then you go back a few times and spend time with her, maybe she comes to the U.S. on a tourist/student visa to visit, you Skype regularly, and then you get engaged/married relatively quickly (say less than 2 years from the time you met).  My question is as follows: are you really able to meet someone well in this fashion? How do you know what she is like when she is upset? How do you know how she deals with adversity? Seems to me that it be very easy to fall for someone when you only see their good side.  I guess my overarching question is, how can you really trust someone to take such a big step given that you have such a small glimpse into their character. 
-          Do any of you have experience or thoughts on getting a Colombian girl you met through an agency to sign a prenup?
-          Any other thoughts on mitigating the risks involved in this whole ordeal?
I should mention that I was born in Colombia and lived there until I was 13 – like many of you, I think that Colombian women are the sweetest, warmest, and most beautiful women in the world, but I also know how conniving, deceitful, and manipulative they can be.
I would like to make this work, but I would like to be as prepared as possible. 
Thank you in advance for your comments.

[bcc_1_2]

, but I also know how conniving, deceitful, and manipulative they can be.

I guess your name implies why you know the above and are still ready to jump into the Colombian agency shark tank. You should have all kinds of connections (and speak Spanish). Why are you approaching your search like a gringo with absolutely no connections or Spanish that is worried about traveling and needs their hand held?
If you are going to find a girl that has a B visa it will probably be in Bogota but I bet those agencies have hardly any women like that... so how are you going to find them?
Rio, BA, and DF... if you want B visa girls try a location that will have them.

[JWR]

Welcome to the party ColombianLoco,
 
1st it's almost impossible for her to come here on a tourist/student visa for a "try before you buy" plan unless you plan on marrying a rich grandma that owns real estate in Colombia.
 
As far as knowing her character before she gets here.....good luck on that one.  The only thing you can do is spend alot of time with her down there before you bring her back up here.  Most guys don't have the time or money to do this, and it's a real crap shoot.  Taking things slow, and observing her in as many situations as possible may reduce your risk of problems down the road.  It's impossible for these girls to hold up an "act" for a long time, so if you're patient, her character will show itself with time.
 
If you lived there until 13, then I assume you can speak some spanish.  That will help, but even after she learns English, cultural differences will always hinder communication and perceptions.  In other words, she will take things you say the wrong way on a consistant basis, and often you won't even know it.  Often these girls are non confrontational, so when you're in trouble, and don't even really know how much trouble you're really in, down the road you will pay.
 
Yes, I think you are right that most of them are looking for a better life in the United States.  You can't blame them for that.  I don't think they prefer gringos as a rule, they are just attracted to the life that we can offer them.  Large age differences are not that common from what I can see after living down there.  If there is a large age difference, the guy is usually "sponsoring" the younger girl paying for her University, apartment, etc. etc.  Similar to up here in the US......  The closer you are in age, I believe the less chance you have of her upgrading to a younger, better looking guy then you after she is settled, independent, and has her citizenship here.. 
 
I believe the real variable that you will just never fully know before she lives here for a while, is how much she is going to change.  Your wife is going to be exposed to opportunities, and experiences that she's never even imagined in Colombia, and you just don't know what type of person she is going to develop into, and if that future life of hers will include you.  It just very well may not.  I think it's basically a 50/50% $100,000 crap shoot.  Are you thinking 100k Holy Crap!!  Well yes if you stay together for a while, buy her a car, pay for some school maybe, and support her, it's going to add up to a large amount of money.  I think that there are alot of guys that fail at this because they underestimated the costs involved, and just couldn't put the time into traveling and getting to know her properly.
 
I should mention that I was born in Colombia and lived there until I was 13 – like many of you, I think that Colombian women are the sweetest, warmest, and most beautiful women in the world, but I also know how conniving, deceitful, and manipulative they can be.
I agree with you completely here.  I have seen both of these character traits in the same person, and sometimes their behaviour is strange and unexpected.  They're women after all.
 
As far as using an Agency......I've used Jamie's and Latin Encounters (now closed) in Cali.  Going to an agency is really, really fun.  But you as a spanish speaking Colombian, I think you would end up with a better result by net working and using other methods of meeting girls outside the agency.  Go ahead and try the agency, but put an active effort into meeting girls outside the agency.
 
Here's an idea....go stay here, take some salsa lessons, meet locals, and get introduced.......It will be way more natural.
https://www.airbnb.com/rooms/1067004
 
I married a nice girl from Cali, had many adventures together over 10 years, but she simply changed and developed as a person, and the marriage no longer worked for either one of us in the end.  I was her biggest fan, and supported her through all her challenges including learning English to graduating from nursing school.  I'm sure some other guy has a great, independent, educated, and high earning girl now.
 
If you accept the risks going into this, and don't believe all the hype, there will be alot less whining, if things don't work out as you had hoped.
 
Are you ready to throw down a hundred grand on the craps table with a 50/50 chance of winning? 
I may just take another shot.......
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 

[mambocowboy]

Gents,
 
First of all, I’d like to thanks those of you who regularly contribute your experiences/wisdom here since many of us “newbies” learn a great deal from you.
I’m hoping to get your thoughts on a couple of points.  I’m considering using Introductions by Consuelo or LatinLifeMates in Bogota to find a wife. 
-          I’ve read all the prior posts here regarding these two agencies here but would welcome any thoughts/comments if anyone has used them lately or if you’d like to share something you haven’t already mentioned in this forum.     
-          The agencies claim the main reason why these women are interested in foreign men is because they prefer them over Colombian men.  I’m pretty certain the main reason is because they would like to go somewhere where they can be better off.  The way I understand the way the process typically works, you go and you meet her, then you go back a few times and spend time with her, maybe she comes to the U.S. on a tourist/student visa to visit, you Skype regularly, and then you get engaged/married relatively quickly (say less than 2 years from the time you met).  My question is as follows: are you really able to meet someone well in this fashion? How do you know what she is like when she is upset? How do you know how she deals with adversity? Seems to me that it be very easy to fall for someone when you only see their good side.  I guess my overarching question is, how can you really trust someone to take such a big step given that you have such a small glimpse into their character. 
-          Do any of you have experience or thoughts on getting a Colombian girl you met through an agency to sign a prenup?
-          Any other thoughts on mitigating the risks involved in this whole ordeal?
I should mention that I was born in Colombia and lived there until I was 13 – like many of you, I think that Colombian women are the sweetest, warmest, and most beautiful women in the world, but I also know how conniving, deceitful, and manipulative they can be.
I would like to make this work, but I would like to be as prepared as possible. 
Thank you in advance for your comments.

you can try a pre-nup, but the visa paperwork you have to sign will contradict most things you'd try to put in a pre-nup...I agree with JWR and BCC. Why the heck would you try an agency if you spent 13 years living in Colombia. Agencies are best for guys with limited Spanish and limited knowledge of the culture...Also, there are significant physical and cultural differences between the people in various parts of the country. I'm assuming you like the Bogotana "look" more than the Medellinera,the Calena, or the Barranquillera, but that's something to think about before you even drop any money on a plane trip...As for getting to know a woman, common sense says the more time you spend with your woman, the better; however, the problem with that is the woman you'll be living with will be living in YOUR COUNTRY, and she WILL change for better or for worse, because she'll have to adapt to a new world apart from everything she's known before. It's not easy to guess how she'll do in your country if you're only observing her in her familiar environment... Hopefully in the course of your getting to know a woman via your visits and skype, you get to see how she responds to adversity. It's hard for her to keep up a facade if you ask hard questions over a period of time, on a daily basis. I think some guys go overboard with the "dating" aspect, taking the woman to restaurants,etc., because that's not what her life is going to be like when she gets here. She's going to be in the house while you work , cooking and cleaning for you, skyping with her family and friends back in Colombia (missing them), then going to English classes. So when you go over there, let her cook for you, let her show you her world, spend as much time with her family so you get a sense of who these future in laws you're essentially marrying might be as well, and maybe that way you increase your chances of success...

[beulah]

Everything carries risk. I think one of the best ways to mitigate financial damage is to live in colombia. 

I'm not clear on why your idea of using an agency is being derided.  Some very experienced men suchas Benjio, and others have used them, and I'm not hearing complaints.  I'm hearing mostly good experiences.

[LatinSharpei]

A little confused...  I thought guys were chosing these girls cause they are not liars and manipulative? I thought they were more trust worthy

[benjio]

A little confused...  I thought guys were chosing these girls cause they are not liars and manipulative? I thought they were more trust worthy

  LMAO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! LatinSharpei....please take your time my friend. I wish you the best of luck. You have A LOT to learn.

[bcc_1_2]

He better learn it fast... a little trip to BAQ and he's already filling out paperwork. 

[michaelb]

I should mention that I was born in Colombia and lived there until I was 13

So are you a US citizen or a Colombian citizen? Makes a big difference in being a visa sponsor. 

[Ricardo1]

He better learn it fast... a little trip to BAQ and he's already filling out paperwork. 

BCC,
Go easy on latinsharpei, he's just learning the ropes - hopefully not the hard way.  Wish he would take advice from the veterans on here...
 

[LatinSharpei]

I don't need anyone to go easy on me...  Haters are gonna Hate.  I  made the decision on the facts I have.  The negetive ones are just taking one fact of my life and tossing crap.    Fact is that how many of these guys have a whole bunch od failed relationships with girls from other countries.  Maybe they should go back to the American past time in baseball and think about what three strikes mean.    If this was coming from the men thst married and had succes in their current marriage with a foriegn bride I could consider hearing it.  But the view is always pretty good from the cheap seats. 

[robert angel]

I don't need anyone to go easy on me...  Haters are gonna Hate.  I  made the decision on the facts I have.  The negetive ones are just taking one fact of my life and tossing crap.    Fact is that how many of these guys have a whole bunch od failed relationships with girls from other countries.  Maybe they should go back to the American past time in baseball and think about what three strikes mean.    If this was coming from the men thst married and had succes in their current marriage with a foriegn bride I could consider hearing it. But the view is always pretty good from the cheap seats.

It's all the guys who've had their emotional and financial clocks cleaned from quickie marriages that end in divorce, who are sitting up in the 'cheap seats'.
 
I don't think we have a bunch of bitter guys here. Most of those guys get or have already gotten burned and never show up around here anymore. While there's some sarcasm, I think there's more philosophical wisdom based on years of experience here.  Take or leave it. By and large, I don't think the advice you're getting in particular--aimed at you--is coming from 'haters'--it's more from guys who have been where you're at, offering advice to slow down a bit--words of caution. Sometimes we don't always hear or see what we don't really want to hear or see too clearly......

[Kiltboy1]

OK

Time for Kilty to chime in and help LS not wreck the train. I am one of those guys you mention that has had a very successful marriage( Almost 7 years) with a Latina from Ecuador.BUT, before I met her, I went the agency route in Cali and went on the same journey you are about to undertake. I met a woman the first week at the agency, listened to the owner, people that knew my girl and based on the FACTS( As you put it), pulled the trigger, did the visa, married her and brought her to the USA. BIG F---ING MISTAKE ! She turned out to be a completely different person than she led on me to believe in my Cali trip. She was a lier, a cheater  and a taker. She almost destroyed my life. Certainly I took a huge $$$$ hit with her.

Point I am making LS is to take a step back, let the dust settle and make another trip in November and spend more time with her , and then if things have been able to survive the distance and next 4 months before you see her again in November, go ahead and pull the trigger. If you go the route you are on now, you are playing with loaded dice. I get PM's here several times a year asking me in private what I think is the success rate with the Latin women  from guys here in this forum. I have been a member here since like 2001 . Of all the guys that married a Latina that were on this site, I am confident that maybe 25% are still together. Those are not good odds in any culture. Most of the ones that crashed and burned were the ones like me that went on 1 trip, maybe 2 and pulled the trigger without knowing the woman at all. I wish you luck whatever you do, but do not say you were not warned by guys that have been down this road and do know much more than you about how it works down there. I have under my belt some 20  trips to Colombia, 6-8 DR. 2 Venezuela, 10  Ecuador, so I kind of understand things a bit you know.

Good Luck

KB

[JWR]

Latin Sharpei,
 
Relax ok...take it easy.  There's lots of opinions here, so just take the advice that's helpful to you.
 
Some of us have been exactly where you are right now.  The comments have not all been negative.  I for one am glad you had some fun dating for a change. Dating up here is just not that much fun with what's available.  I fully understand what its like to meet a beautiful sweet Colombiana, fall in love, head off to San Andres for a romantic vacation, file paperwork, and marry her in Colombia.  I spent a total of about 6 weeks together with my wife before we were living in the US.  Some have spent less time, some have spent more time before marrying....I don't know the exact formula.  It's just not an exact science, and with all the cultural differences and language challenges, it not easy to see things clearly.  As your wife learns English, and you really start to communicate, it sometimes feels like you're with a new person every month as they get better at their english.  They were always the same person......
 
A couple years ago I fell head over heels in love with a girl I met at Jamie's.......  We spent alot of time together because I was living down there.  We had a real connection, and I thought she was the one I had always been looking for.  Nice family, hard working girl.  With time....as we let the relationship develop normally, it became very clear that it wasn't going to work between us.  Yes I'm not perfect, and she's not perfect, and I'm not looking for Miss perfect blah blah blah, but sometimes people just aren't right for each other and it takes some time to find this out.  Looking back, I'm so glad we took it slow.  Time is not your enemy in this, it's your best friend.  Time in dating and relationships just provides more information.   In the US, you can try things out, date different people, move in together, break up, argue, and on and on.  The stakes are low up here.  It's high stakes dating and marrying a Colombiana.
 
Because of our rediculous immigration laws, we get shoved into a situation that is not good for men at all.  You have to sign an affidavit of support for 10 years that can be used against you for support in family court.  International marriage women have regularly filed false domestic violence charges on their husbands, and had them thrown out of their own houses.  Then the guys have had to support them, and have spent thousands and thousands of dollars to defend themselves legally......Guys are very,very vulnerable when they start bringing these girls up here, and guys usually only find out how risky this process is after bad things start happening.  None of these guys in the fog of love and infatuation saw any of this coming their way.
 
It's just a whole lot better if you don't find out that she's not actually "the one" after she's up here, and your living together.  It's also better for her if you really get to know her before bringing her to the US.  If she ends up going back to Colombia after coming to the US on a K1, she will be humiliated. 
 
Now I can see your logic in filing the K1 right now.......it takes so freakin long to get approved, you can get to know here while you are waiting.  If you find out you don't want to go forward with the relationship, you can cancel the paperwork..... Pretty messy way to go about things, but I get it.
 
I've always felt that it's man's God given right to do stupid sh#t.  Sky dive, surf large waves, sail across oceans, and marry foreign girls that we've only spent a couple weeks with.  It's the spirit of adventure, and these things are fun as hell.  You like to compare this to gambling, and I agree with you completely.  It's a gamble.  But I seriously doubt you would go to Vegas and put down 50k on the roulette table if you had less then a 50/50 chance of winning.  Maybe you would.
 
Hey I'm not going to warn you off......go for it!  But hang around here if it works out or not.  Don't run off embarrassed like so many other guys that had it all figured out.  I think for the most part the guys here have your best interest at heart.  And you will not find this among your friends and aquaintences on the outside.  You start telling people what you are up to, and they are going to crap all over your parade.  Just wait.
 
Really hope things work out for the both of you, and I hope you will keep us posted on the story as it develops.

[mambocowboy]

OK

Time for Kilty to chime in and help LS not wreck the train. I am one of those guys you mention that has had a very successful marriage( Almost 7 years) with a Latina from Ecuador.BUT, before I met her, I went the agency route in Cali and went on the same journey you are about to undertake. I met a woman the first week at the agency, listened to the owner, people that knew my girl and based on the FACTS( As you put it), pulled the trigger, did the visa, married her and brought her to the USA. BIG F---ING MISTAKE ! She turned out to be a completely different person than she led on me to believe in my Cali trip. She was a lier, a cheater  and a taker. She almost destroyed my life. Certainly I took a huge $$$$ hit with her.

Point I am making LS is to take a step back, let the dust settle and make another trip in November and spend more time with her , and then if things have been able to survive the distance and next 4 months before you see her again in November, go ahead and pull the trigger. If you go the route you are on now, you are playing with loaded dice. I get PM's here several times a year asking me in private what I think is the success rate with the Latin women  from guys here in this forum. I have been a member here since like 2001 . Of all the guys that married a Latina that were on this site, I am confident that maybe 25% are still together. Those are not good odds in any culture. Most of the ones that crashed and burned were the ones like me that went on 1 trip, maybe 2 and pulled the trigger without knowing the woman at all. I wish you luck whatever you do, but do not say you were not warned by guys that have been down this road and do know much more than you about how it works down there. I have under my belt some 20  trips to Colombia, 6-8 DR. 2 Venezuela, 10  Ecuador, so I kind of understand things a bit you know.

Good Luck

KB

LS, I'm a happily married guy and while I didn't have my train wrecked like KB (who deserves a ton of credit for going back to SA to find a keeper and make it work the second time), I can tell you that from where I sit his advice is golden. The archives on this site are full of guys completely in love on their first trip to BAQ whose relationship ultimately fizzled. Your relationship with the beautiful Barranquillera needs to endure for a while and you two will have to work to maintain it without the benefit of phsyical contact for months on end because it is now a very long distance relationship. That in love feeling you two have right now doesn't last forever and when it fades you two will need a stable foundation from which to overcome any obstacles you two will inevitably face as a couple. Good luck as I always want these relationships to work in order to quiet the true haters who are jealous that we look in another country for our bride....

[bcc_1_2]

BCC,
Go easy on latinsharpei, he's just learning the ropes - hopefully not the hard way.  Wish he would take advice from the veterans on here...
[/quote
 
Whoa now... tell his fiancé to go easy on him. I know Colombianas and just how hard you have to vet them... what he is doing is crazy and it is the chica that is most likely to beat up on him.

[ColombianLoco]

Are you ready to throw down a hundred grand on the craps table with a 50/50 chance of winning? 
I may just take another shot.......

Thanks everyone for your input.  JWR, I found your analysis particularly interesting.  A $100K bet with a 50/50% long-term success ratio seems about right to me. 


I think the fact is that this is a risky undertaking no matter what - as I mentioned, I'm Colombian, my entire extended family lives there, I have double-citizenship, I'm bilingual, bi-cultural, etc and so, even though I've just started exploring the idea of finding a girl to marry there I realize that the financial/legal/sentimental repercussions can be significant. 


I plan to move forward with my search (which, by the way, is not exclusive to using the agencies) but I'll tread carefully.   


In regards to LatinSharpei's debate, LatinSharpei, be sure to read the "Mistakes Men Make" on this web-site --- [size=78%]http://latin-wife.com/Foreign-Brides.asp[/size]

I think Jamie's observations and analysis is spot on (although, less pronounced in other cities such a Bogota) - I specially enjoyed the "Not Understanding Colombian Women" part. 


     

[LatinSharpei]

Mambo... None of my friends have surprisingly [snip] on my parade..  I admit I was expexting to tell atleast one person to go f themself and thier hatred.

What I have heard since I got back out of this site is she is gonna cheat on me she will run off when she gets here..   I have went to bed 2 nights so pissed off at hypotheicals that I wanted to never speak to another woman including my mother sister and niece.  I realized that this negetivity although I don't take it out on her is not healthy for a relationship.  I was my best friend who supports his russian novia that sat down and told me that I have si mething worth booking my bet to stay true to what my heart felt down there. 

Honestly I don't trust easily due to my past...  Just as most of failed dated american girls my lack of closeness and keeping the sharks at a safe distance cost me dating models en ex cowboys cheerleader finalist and other maybe quality girls.   I can not and will not allow people to chip away at the trust I put in this girl.  I read  all this in the morning and it put me in a sour mood.  I am instead of calling my girl watching any given sunday fuming and getting to the point where I am just gonna go to the gym and not talk to anyone today.  Maybr she will get pissed and call maybe she won't notice..   Then the site can be happy they can say that were right.

I will be honest...  it took me getting pissed off to get people to step off and stop bashing my fecision.  If someone would have went after me like the one did in real life I would have socked em and made sure they had six weeks before they could open thier mouth again.  I already asked to have my account deleted because what people were doing on here other than the last three post is going to ruin what I have or had.  Thanks to all the BS comments I now am sutting her scrutinizibg every call every word and everything about her.  She was at her sisters 18 bday last night told me to call her at midnight ..  That was when I was leaving my work. When I called she was not there..  15 mins later she calls me..  Originally that was good enough.  Now all sorts of stuff is in my head cause of the crap people put in my head.  I worked 20 hours of Overtime this week so I could sock money away for when she gets here.  This was my only day off I was gonna go take pictures of the area I live in the house I live in to show and share with her.  Now I just wanna go to the gym and crash out.  So to those that wanted to make [snip] hard congrats it worked..  I never should have posted after I got back is what I am learning

[gyounger]

Good luck with your search, CL.
Like the others have said, the best way to mitigate risks is to know someone well.
Although that's not 100% fail proof.

[gyounger]

JWR,
You said in your relationship with the Calena that
 "she simply
changed and developed as a person, and the
marriage no longer worked for either one of us in
the end"

Does that mean that because she developed as a person, she was no longer dependent on you and it caused problems?

GY

[JWR]

Good question.
 
It's never one thing, and it's complicated.
 
My Calena is a very strong, intelligent type A person.  She could never just relax and enjoy life.  We were out sailing around on my 42' sailboat long term, and she couldn't relax and enjoy a life many people dream of.  Sitting in Maine anchored after a great dinner out, and she couldn't just enjoy it.  It's her personality that makes her a fantastic nurse and successful at whatever she tries.  We ran 3 businesses together, and she was very independent.  I like to work hard, then relax and enjoy.  She just likes to work hard.
 
In the end because of her drive, we stopped making time to enjoy each other, and the relationship just slowly died.  Also I was wanting a baby, and she HATES kids.....Also I believe that she suffered the long term affects of PTSD after watching her family members killed by the FARC over the years.  She was not open to exploring this issue in herself, and that caused serious problems in our relationship.  With some counseling we would most likely still be together.
 
After 10 years, I don't think it has much to do with her being from Colombia for the most part.  It's just a normal couple trying to keep things alive.
 
 

JWR,
You said in your relationship with the Calena that
 "she simply
changed and developed as a person, and the
marriage no longer worked for either one of us in
the end"

Does that mean that because she developed as a person, she was no longer dependent on you and it caused problems?

GY

[bcc_1_2]

I never should have posted after I got back is what I am learning

We all want to think we are special... my relationship is special... the fact is that you are in the exact same boat as sooo many other people. Going to an agency in Colombia and getting engaged in a week or two just reeks of someone that has not done his homework. Or someone that needs to just take a step back and slow down.
Colombian woman are always a ton of fun at first. I remember being a really young (mid 20s) gringo leaving my hotel and walking down the street with a chica headed to a restaurant. She saw a cute woman and suggested how fun it would be to have a little girlfriend that we could both bang. And of course she was a freak in the sack... and a very unique person and personality... which was a big attraction to me. Big change from small town Midwest USA.
I found plenty of flaws with her on a 2nd trip. Putting your net worth and property  at risk (and 10 years of legal support once this woman gets here) is too crazy after just one short meeting. You need to chill out... take a breath... think about what you want... and head back for one more visit before finalizing any decisions.
You can tune out this message board, but that doesn't change your situation... which is not unique at all with everyone else here having gone through it. The only question is how intelligently you handle this.
Are you special and do you have this all figured out? Or do others have experiences to offer?
 

[Ricardo1]

I have under my belt some 20  trips to Colombia, 6-8 DR. 2 Venezuela, 10  Ecuador, so I kind of understand things a bit you know.

KB

KB is absolutely correct..... outside of living in Colombia (or any other country in LA) the only other way to know the really lady you're dealing with, and also her culture/customs - is to visit there a lot. 
LS, you're gonna get a lot of comments, some negative, about your dating experience.  Take it in stride and be willing to make course corrections along the way ....  good luck.

[JWR]

It's always a question of why guys go so crazy after being down there and dating some Colombianas.....
I know I went crazy during my 1st trip.
 
I think it's because after all the baggage of dating American girls over the years, guys are just a little crazy, and screwed up from that.  It takes a few trips South and dating some Latinas for a guy to start getting his head screwed on straight before he can make any reasonable decisions.   Alot of guys just don't have the bucks to spend the time down there to get to that point.
 

We all want to think we are special... my relationship is special... the fact is that you are in the exact same boat as sooo many other people. Going to an agency in Colombia and getting engaged in a week or two just reeks of someone that has not done his homework. Or someone that needs to just take a step back and slow down.
Colombian woman are always a ton of fun at first. I remember being a really young (mid 20s) gringo leaving my hotel and walking down the street with a chica headed to a restaurant. She saw a cute woman and suggested how fun it would be to have a little girlfriend that we could both bang. And of course she was a freak in the sack... and a very unique person and personality... which was a big attraction to me. Big change from small town Midwest USA.
I found plenty of flaws with her on a 2nd trip. Putting your net worth and property  at risk (and 10 years of legal support once this woman gets here) is too crazy after just one short meeting. You need to chill out... take a breath... think about what you want... and head back for one more visit before finalizing any decisions.
You can tune out this message board, but that doesn't change your situation... which is not unique at all with everyone else here having gone through it. The only question is how intelligently you handle this.
Are you special and do you have this all figured out? Or do others have experiences to offer?

[mambocowboy]

Mambo... None of my friends have surprisingly [snip] on my parade..  I admit I was expexting to tell atleast one person to go f themself and thier hatred.

What I have heard since I got back out of this site is she is gonna cheat on me she will run off when she gets here..   I have went to bed 2 nights so pissed off at hypotheicals that I wanted to never speak to another woman including my mother sister and niece.  I realized that this negetivity although I don't take it out on her is not healthy for a relationship.  I was my best friend who supports his russian novia that sat down and told me that I have si mething worth booking my bet to stay true to what my heart felt down there. 

Honestly I don't trust easily due to my past...  Just as most of failed dated american girls my lack of closeness and keeping the sharks at a safe distance cost me dating models en ex cowboys cheerleader finalist and other maybe quality girls.   I can not and will not allow people to chip away at the trust I put in this girl.  I read  all this in the morning and it put me in a sour mood.  I am instead of calling my girl watching any given sunday fuming and getting to the point where I am just gonna go to the gym and not talk to anyone today.  Maybr she will get pissed and call maybe she won't notice..   Then the site can be happy they can say that were right.

I will be honest...  it took me getting pissed off to get people to step off and stop bashing my fecision.  If someone would have went after me like the one did in real life I would have socked em and made sure they had six weeks before they could open thier mouth again.  I already asked to have my account deleted because what people were doing on here other than the last three post is going to ruin what I have or had.  Thanks to all the BS comments I now am sutting her scrutinizibg every call every word and everything about her.  She was at her sisters 18 bday last night told me to call her at midnight ..  That was when I was leaving my work. When I called she was not there..  15 mins later she calls me..  Originally that was good enough.  Now all sorts of stuff is in my head cause of the crap people put in my head.  I worked 20 hours of Overtime this week so I could sock money away for when she gets here.  This was my only day off I was gonna go take pictures of the area I live in the house I live in to show and share with her.  Now I just wanna go to the gym and crash out.  So to those that wanted to make [snip] hard congrats it worked..  I never should have posted after I got back is what I am learning

LS, one of the ways I recommend you manage the long  distance thing is by skyping every day. I would not recommend messenger or the phone as you can't get any read on your girl's non-verbals. My wife and I had about 1 year of skyping in addition to my visits to Barranquilla. She let me know twice, well in advance, that we wouldn't be able to chat, once because she was going to her friend's wedding, another time because she was going to work overtime. My wife never once flaked, and neither did I. Any woman I was going to bring over here was going to have to demonstrate she was reliable and committed enough to chat everyday (we ended up skyping at least one hour a day, on average probably two hours a day). Any woman who couldn't commit to communicating every day to maintain the relationship, no matter the excuse, wasn't worth the effort or the risk, in my opinion...