Ideas to Mitigate Risks Associated With Colombian Women?

[LatinSharpei]

We talk over the phone 2 to 3 times a day thanks to vonage...  We are maintaining...  And I read more of the BS said since I posted and I am still comfortable with my decision. 

[mambocowboy]

We talk over the phone 2 to 3 times a day thanks to vonage...  We are maintaining...  And I read more of the BS said since I posted and I am still comfortable with my decision.

Good luck. Hope it works for you. Either way hope you stick around so others can learn from your experiences.

[mambocowboy]

What I have heard since I got back out of this site is she is gonna cheat on me she will run off when she gets here..   I have went to bed 2 nights so pissed off at hypotheicals that I wanted to never speak to another woman including my mother sister and niece.  I realized that this negetivity although I don't take it out on her is not healthy for a relationship.  I can not and will not allow people to chip away at the trust I put in this girl.  I read  all this in the morning and it put me in a sour mood.  I am instead of calling my girl watching any given sunday fuming and getting to the point where I am just gonna go to the gym and not talk to anyone today.  Maybr she will get pissed and call maybe she won't notice..   Then the site can be happy they can say that were right.

I will be honest...  it took me getting pissed off to get people to step off and stop bashing my fecision.  If someone would have went after me like the one did in real life I would have socked em and made sure they had six weeks before they could open thier mouth again.  I already asked to have my account deleted because what people were doing on here other than the last three post is going to ruin what I have or had.  Thanks to all the BS comments I now am sutting her scrutinizibg every call every word and everything about her.   So to those that wanted to make [snip] hard congrats it worked..  I never should have posted after I got back is what I am learning

not sure who you're referring to "bashing" you.  You can't blame anyone for the success or failure of your relationship except you and your girl. Long distance relationships and marriage are not easy, they're infinitely harder if you give other peoples' opinions that kind of power over you....

[bcc_1_2]

And I read more of the BS said since I posted and I am still comfortable with my decision.

Is it a financial or lack of time off work issue why you don't just Skype and visit again in 1 to 3 months?

[bcc_1_2]

not sure who you're referring to "bashing" you. 

Latin America is full of hotties interested in gringos and this site is full of gringos that fully believe that traveling south is a much better option than dating locally. So nobody is going to "bash" anyone for traveling south. But when someone throws caution to the wind we'd give them the same advice we would locally to a guy. We'd say hey buddy... I know you met this hot chick in Vegas... but you've known her barely a week... so maybe you shouldn't go through the drive thru wedding chapel.
I just don't get that LS can't listen to it and take away anything from all the guys that have done this before. The Skype mention is a classic example. It is free... you can text, voice chat, or video chat... and you can download it to cell phones. It is the best thing out there to see the reactions and facial expresses... and to stay in touch for no cost (unlike say vonage).

[mambocowboy]

Latin America is full of hotties interested in gringos and this site is full of gringos that fully believe that traveling south is a much better option than dating locally. So nobody is going to "bash" anyone for traveling south. But when someone throws caution to the wind we'd give them the same advice we would locally to a guy. We'd say hey buddy... I know you met this hot chick in Vegas... but you've known her barely a week... so maybe you shouldn't go through the drive thru wedding chapel.
I just don't get that LS can't listen to it and take away anything from all the guys that have done this before. The Skype mention is a classic example. It is free... you can text, voice chat, or video chat... and you can download it to cell phones. It is the best thing out there to see the reactions and facial expresses... and to stay in touch for no cost (unlike say vonage).

He tuned us out. This'd be a case for Dr. Drew...

[benjio]

All things being equal, I wish LS the best of luck. He may be one of those guys that found a jewel quickly and the fairy tale won't ever end. I for one hope that's the case...but more often than not, reality hits during that second or third trip and things change bigtime. If the worse does happen, I seriously doubt we'll hear about it on this board either way. I have nothing but gratitude for all the guys that were writing the same thing you guys are writing when I found my first novia in Colombia. It's not what a guy in love wants to hear, but a lot of those things ended up being true (while admittedly others didn't). Either way, I never saw anything wrong with getting a balanced opinion.

[robert angel]

LS, one of the ways I recommend you manage the long  distance thing is by skyping every day. I would not recommend messenger or the phone as you can't get any read on your girl's non-verbals. My wife and I had about 1 year of skyping in addition to my visits to Barranquilla. She let me know twice, well in advance, that we wouldn't be able to chat, once because she was going to her friend's wedding, another time because she was going to work overtime. My wife never once flaked, and neither did I. Any woman I was going to bring over here was going to have to demonstrate she was reliable and committed enough to chat everyday (we ended up skyping at least one hour a day, on average probably two hours a day). Any woman who couldn't commit to communicating every day to maintain the relationship, no matter the excuse, wasn't worth the effort or the risk, in my opinion...

I don't know if this is getting through to you LS. I don't really know if you think we're all haters, naysayers or what. I for one am not in here to while a way the hours trying to pop people's bubbles, ruining dreams. Got better things to do. I rarely speak in absolutes. I can tell you what's helped me, even what's helped others and might be wise for you to consider.
 
Win, lose or draw, K1, spousal visa, illegal entry via submarine--you have one variable in all these actions. TIME. I suggest you use it well. Try to chat, making eye contact with this gal EVERY day. Look for signs, good, bad and otherwise. If she's there every time, every day that she says she's going to be, great. If not, I'd start to worry. If she's more and more running late, finding new, increasingly novel explanations on why she missed 'your time' together, it's not good.
 
I know most of these babes aren't exactly librarians, wearing Swiss watches, but you have the right to expect her to be there when she says she's going to be. If things seem to be coming out of the wood work more and more with her family and personal life, suddenly requiring cash infusions to 'fix'--not good. If out of the clear blue you ask her for a pass word on facebook, yahoo, anything and she balks, not good. If you just happen to ask someone on a website you both are on to 'approach her' and she open and amorous to that guy, not good.
 
 
The signs will be there. In her actions, in her body language and more. If she's chatting more than one guy at once, you can tell by her eyes, inflection and body movement while she's doing so. Hopefully they'll all be good signs. I wish you nothing but the best. Just don't go getting over defensive on people and go sticking your head in the sand like an ostrich. This sort of relationship creation DOES sometimes require a "Me and you against the world' mentality sometimes, one where you have to tell friends and sadly, even sometimes family, to "F off", stay out of it and follow your OWN dreams. I just don't think that this is the kind of place where such defensive posturing is necessary or healthy. Good luck!

[JasonA]

Lots of good advice here, LS, especially what MamboC and Robert are saying with Skype, reliability and punctuality.

No one is picking on you. Think of it like a family member trying to give you advice that you may not agree with.

I was getting some of the same feedback last October. I had spent a week with my fiancé at the beginning of July. We spent another week together at the beginning of October. We started gathering our paperwork at the end of October. Was it too soon? Maybe. The reason that I felt comfortable proposing was my fiance's honesty, sincerity and maturity. Yes, she has many other qualities, but those things set her apart from the many American women and 2 Colombianas that I dated before her. So, my advice is to hold off on getting engaged until you feel very, very comfortable with your girl in these areas (as well as other areas).

If this was Texas hold 'em, you just sat down at the table. On your first hand, you look at your 2 cards and decide to go all in without even seeing the flop... Who here would say that is smart?  Anyway, we all wish you the best.

[gyounger]

Good question.
 
It's never one thing, and it's complicated.
 
My Calena is a very strong, intelligent type A person.  She could never just relax and enjoy life.  We were out sailing around on my 42' sailboat long term, and she couldn't relax and enjoy a life many people dream of.  Sitting in Maine anchored after a great dinner out, and she couldn't just enjoy it.  It's her personality that makes her a fantastic nurse and successful at whatever she tries.  We ran 3 businesses together, and she was very independent.  I like to work hard, then relax and enjoy.  She just likes to work hard.
 
In the end because of her drive, we stopped making time to enjoy each other, and the relationship just slowly died.  Also I was wanting a baby, and she HATES kids.....Also I believe that she suffered the long term affects of PTSD after watching her family members killed by the FARC over the years.  She was not open to exploring this issue in herself, and that caused serious problems in our relationship.  With some counseling we would most likely still be together.
 
After 10 years, I don't think it has much to do with her being from Colombia for the most part.  It's just a normal couple trying to keep things alive.

Ah yes, the personality clashes.
Fortunately my wife and I are the more laid back type B.
I work for a type A. We clash frequently.
I could never marry and have a successful relationship with someone like that.

[Researcher]

How to mitigate risk? One of the best ways is to be honest with yourself. Is this woman compatable for the long term? Is she really interested in a long term relationship or is she playing me? These kinds of questions are completely ignored when some guys go "ga-ga" over a woman. It is easy to do but if you are thinking long term being honest with yourself can really pay off.

[LatinSharpei]

Skype is not an option until I fix her computer...  Other than money to get her passport she don't wsnt my money ... She is not working and it would be easy to take it.   I am not tuning people out but I can't sit here and defend her all day.  I get frustrated and then if she yawns after all the talk I hear I scrutinize that in my head and that's not fair to her. 

I agree that I have to do this with my eyes open.  Its like a reciever that makes his living going over the middle.  I may take a huge blow and it may be a pain in the ass to stop papers but I gotta keep the chains moving.  I would like to think I am smart enought to tell when a girl is crying on the phone for real.  I get a lot of sincerity with her I miss you and just want november to get here.   I don't need the unexpected and unsolicted sweet emails ..  She is there everytime I call.  When I give her an out like on her sisters bday to not talk..  she say no I want to talk.  If there was another guy there would be her out for for the night.   

As for November she already has lunch dates set up with me and her and her best friend.  Her mom  wants me to come to the home so she can make me lunch as well.   I just don't see where all the extra attention would come from if it was not genuine.  I mean if it was like the ol garth brooks song papa loved mama the she would be telling  me the 2 pm call is enough being we talk in the morning too.  I call  at midnight her time when I leave work.  My calls are not scheduled...  her mom told me that she is not down for other guys coming to the house and her daughter going out with other men.  She was not going to allow her to do that [snip] to me so she expected the same respect in return.  I connected and trust her mom.  Why does her mom want to get involved in kids games like running around on a gringo.  She wouldn't is the answer I have.  She would never have met me and never made those comments.  Honor speaks ti every person worth thier salt and her mom is a good woman that works hard to raise and care for her kids.  My girl has seen how tough it is to do it with out a man so I just know that she's a gem.  Will I get played?   Maybe but she's the thoroughbred I an betting on.  What I know so far is that I didn't just go down to the track and bet on the one that dud its business right before the race

[stnmasn]

LS i may not be aware of other posts but I dont see the hating that you had written about. I dont see the haters hating on you?


My story in short is this:  I married the 3rd calena  that I met on my first trip to colombia. we married 9 months after we met........... I had only gone down there 1 time after our initial meeting..........We have been married 10 years......we  have a beautiful son he is almost 6.......  we have our second court date to discuss child support in August.......... We shall soon be divorced hopefully by november....... It is sad but it is for the best. We both rushed into something and though we had some good times the  personality differences had become too much for us to stay together.  It is going to be very expensive. ouch.  BUT WOW I am so much happier.


That being said We are still  friends and I see us  staying that way for a long time as we have a beautiful boy together.  We will still be friends in between her bouts of getting PISSED OFF at me for who knows what......jajajajaja.......it is much easier to deal with now that she lives 15 miles away,,,,i am also still close with many members of her family and visit with them when I am down their.  Some of her family still come and live with me when they come up here to visit.


I still love Colombia,,, maybe now more than ever,,,,,i still love Colombianas......I will probably find another colombiana  some day that I will want to keep.


I guess at this point LS i just want to say that i dont understand the hate you had mentioned. many of us have been exactly where you are right now. We dont want you to fail we just want you to approach this a little slower.
 
I personally dont think you need  to scrutinize everything about every conversation you have with your girl.....we are all human you me and her.........we cant all be perfect all the time.........we cant all be on time all the time either.......


Relax and hopefully this can be a FUN adventure,,,,it sure should be,,,it isnt the easiest or cheapest adventure but it should and can be fun.....


one last thing  my goodness dont let a single word on this board get to you. we are a bunch of guys with our own personalities and agendas....what the f%$# do you care what any of us says.  Come on,, please  what we say doesn't mean sh$% we are just other chumps on the internet. None of our opinions should mean squat to you and you have to let em go the moment you read or respond to them.  Do not let any of us get to you for any longer than it takes to respond to us, we arent worth it.


  That being said on this site there are many smart and experienced individuals who  [size=78%]offer alot of timely and worthwhile advice that may be worth reading with a mind open to a different interpretation of their intent.      I believe the intent of the majority of us here is to see you find what you are looking for and have it work happily ever after.    We a just being cautiously optimistic towards you.[/size]

[beulah]

I am disagreeing with stnmasn, although he personally did not make any sarcastic negative comments towards LS other posters did. I don't blame him for being annoyed by the tenure of the comments.  He is obviously at an emotional juncture in his life and a couple posters phucked with him. The general advice of taking a little more time I don't disagree with.

[robert angel]

What you're saying makes sense and you're applying logic in doing so. Fact is you weren't dumb struck by the first mega hot girl/s you met---no pie in the eyes, you used the 'process of elimination'--good.

 
Yes, no matter what, it's ALWAYS going to be a gamble, now and later. And it will always be, a week from now or until the day we die. I know a lady a lot older than me, who I work with. Stable as rock--low key, common sense--quick with a quip--cares about people. She just divorced her husband of FORTY SIX years!

 
"Life's uncertain--eat desert first". My Mom was tough on us as kids--'desert first' wasn't her way then, but when she got older, when Parkinson's disease set in--she put THAT on the fridge. I wasted four stupid years after my divorce, chatting 'as friends' with my now wife, before I got serious about courting this woman I've been married to now for almost 8 years now. We could've been looking at twelve years together!

 
So who's to really say? I'm glad in a way you saw her mad--pissed off when you had the accident on the jet ski. I think we should all see anybody we're gonna be around a lot get angry before we get married. You're both going to keep your eyes and ears wide open and so far so good--that's great.

 
You said: >>Maybe but she's the thoroughbred I an betting on.<< Thoroughbred? I get the jist of what you mean, but she sounds to me more like a pretty, not overly complicated young lady, a person who has family values, from a family that probably isn't rich, but cares for her as they feel she's precious AS riches. Kinda like my wife in that regard. Thoroughbreds, the very rich and social elite generally aren't too compatible with me and I doubt if they're your 'cup of tea' either. From what I gather, as the odds, go, you could have chosen a WHOLE lot worse in this race!
 
Keep coming back man....

[Fuzzyone]

Mambo... None of my friends have surprisingly [snip] on my parade..  I admit I was expexting to tell atleast one person to go f themself and thier hatred.

What I have heard since I got back out of this site is she is gonna cheat on me she will run off when she gets here..   I have went to bed 2 nights so pissed off at hypotheicals that I wanted to never speak to another woman including my mother sister and niece.  I realized that this negetivity although I don't take it out on her is not healthy for a relationship.  I was my best friend who supports his russian novia that sat down and told me that I have si mething worth booking my bet to stay true to what my heart felt down there. 

Honestly I don't trust easily due to my past...  Just as most of failed dated american girls my lack of closeness and keeping the sharks at a safe distance cost me dating models en ex cowboys cheerleader finalist and other maybe quality girls.   I can not and will not allow people to chip away at the trust I put in this girl.  I read  all this in the morning and it put me in a sour mood.  I am instead of calling my girl watching any given sunday fuming and getting to the point where I am just gonna go to the gym and not talk to anyone today.  Maybr she will get pissed and call maybe she won't notice..   Then the site can be happy they can say that were right.

I will be honest...  it took me getting pissed off to get people to step off and stop bashing my fecision.  If someone would have went after me like the one did in real life I would have socked em and made sure they had six weeks before they could open thier mouth again.  I already asked to have my account deleted because what people were doing on here other than the last three post is going to ruin what I have or had.  Thanks to all the BS comments I now am sutting her scrutinizibg every call every word and everything about her.  She was at her sisters 18 bday last night told me to call her at midnight ..  That was when I was leaving my work. When I called she was not there..  15 mins later she calls me..  Originally that was good enough.  Now all sorts of stuff is in my head cause of the crap people put in my head.  I worked 20 hours of Overtime this week so I could sock money away for when she gets here.  This was my only day off I was gonna go take pictures of the area I live in the house I live in to show and share with her.  Now I just wanna go to the gym and crash out.  So to those that wanted to make [snip] hard congrats it worked..  I never should have posted after I got back is what I am learning

  I did not really see anything that I would call negative but I would like to read those comments I just could not find them. If what ever those comments were put you in a sour mood then you are in trouble. I wish guys here had stepped up back in the late 90's and told me to slow down and come up for a breath of fresh air because I really screwed myself at that time and ended up losing a ton of money my fault!


   So you know my wife is from Barranquilla and I just passed the 9 year mark which I feel is pretty good!

[V_Man]

I didn't see anything negative or perhaps I just didn't intrepret them that way.
The whole thing is a huge risk and no matter what you do it may all come unsuck in 10 years anyway.
Therefore it's true that at some point you need to simply take a risk.

However if you can't live with or very close to someone for 2 years before you make a huge committment to them, isn't it simply natural to Skype and otherwise communicate rather obessively for 2 years instead? If I intend to marry someone and live together for the rest of my life. What is 2 years?

There isn't anything magical about 2 years but whatever the timeframe is, one needs a fair amount of time IMHO.

I wouldn't feel comfortable marrying a woman until we had at least one decent arguement. I need to know we can resolve conflict and still feel the same way about each other. It takes time for something like that to show it's ugly head.

The other thing is that in my limited experience these women are far more complex than one might initially realise, with the language barrier, fog of love and all. The word manipulative comes to mind. Complex is perhaps a nicer word. One needs to actually experience this for one's self because I don't think it is easy to explain and it has about 1,000 shades.

All that being said, everyone is different. And I want more and more guys to be sucessful at this. So whatever you decide to do - good luck.

[benjio]

I think LS might have gotten the impression that some members (perhaps even myself) were questioning the sincerity of his girlfriend, when in fact I understood most of the posts as a warning of how quickly things can change because of the complications associated with long distance dating....hence the recommendations for as much communication as possible while they're apart. From what he's wrote she sounds like a winner to me. Especially with her having the type of parent(s) that don't let strange men come in and out of the house trying to court her. My experience in Colombia has shown me one of two (or both) issues that are the primary reasons for why things don't work out:

1. The first trip is a blast and all the exhilarating emotions associated with meeting someone new you're sincerely interested in overshadow truly undesirable personality traits.

Meeting a beautiful, kind, sincere, humble girl that's genuinely interested in you is a breath of fresh air for a lot of gringos that have been stuck in the tear gas chamber of dating in the United States. It was certainly very refreshing for me during my first trip. The second, third and fourth trips however, give you an opportunity to get to know exactly who you are dealing with on a personal level. I've met girls that would have been awesome wives anywhere in the world I took them, but for one reason or another I chose not to continue pursuing something serious. I'm a very laid back person. I know myself well enough to know that a relationship with a Type A personality probably wouldn't last in the long run. Additionally, I don't like women that can't control their emotions to some extent. I've learned that the occasional emotional outburst and the jealousy comes with the territory when dealing with Latinas; but to me that doesn't justify irrational behavior on a consistent basis. These are characteristics of a woman's personality that take time to get a good understanding of. V_Man's comment about learning how she deals with arguments was golden...because sometimes something that seems like common sense to us, makes no sense at all to them. Whether or not they can recognize the difference and you can come to some consensus is a big deal.

2. A Latina isn't the type that can adjust to the transition.

I've written about this in depth on the board. Some members that are married to Costeñas adamantly disagree with me; while I'm of the opinion that they've found the rare exceptions. Bcc has stated on several occasions that if he were still searching, and Colombia was in his crosshairs, he'd much rather go to Bogota and find an educated woman that would adapt much easier to the complexity of life in the states. I may not share his love of Bogotanas, but I definitely understand his logic. Even though the girl I'm dating now lives in Barranquilla, she's from further south and there are some huge differences in her outlook on life compared to the average girl from the coast. It's not my intention to bash Costeñas here, but I've also made it a point to express how important it is that a man has the patience to deal with the little nuances that come with dating and marrying a girl from that culture. I've noticed most Brazilian Girls have their little quirks too. No one is perfect. It's all about getting to know a girl as personally and intimately as possible to determine if her flaws are tolerable for the long haul, and even recognizing your own flaws and asking her and yourself can she deal with those for a lifetime.

I think we've all gotten to the point where we can assume a man won't be taken by a girl that's working him simply because of the fact he's reading posts on this board. Most of the gringos I've met that fall into that trap either chose to ignore some very obvious signs, or they knew exactly what they were getting themselves into.

 
During the occasional 2 week trip every 3 months it's easy for a new couple to get lost in the fog of romance and ignore some critical issues. You're happy to see each other again, the sex is intense and constant (at least it should be if you're not dating a devout Catholic virgin) and those precious moments together seem a lot more important than truly getting to know the person you're dating. But we're not talking about a fling here, we're talking about potential marriage. I will admit that I've met men at Jamie's that found a girl the first trip, fell in love, proposed the next trip, started the visa, and the girl was in the states within 18 months of them meeting. And they are perfectly happy together until this day. But again, that's definitely the exception, not the rule. All and all, I think LS is off to a great start. The comment about "guys choosing these girls cause they are not liars and manipulative," was disturbingly naïve, and I think that kicked off a lot of concern from board members. Hopefully he won't learn that fact the hard way. As previously stated I think we all wish him the best. And if things don't work out LS, I can guarantee you there are PLENTY more where that came from. I'll be in Rio de Janeiro if you need me! Cheers!

[Fuzzyone]

  I was asking because I could not really find anything. I don't think you will find a forum that everyone agrees 100% of the time with you.

[bcc_1_2]

I think LS might have gotten the impression that some members (perhaps even myself) were questioning the sincerity of his girlfriend,

He'll probably feel it was actually me that was hard on him. And some posters that are close friends are in a catch22 situation where they don't want to say anything negative about the agency yet we all know that one short visit to Colombia and an instant engagement is incredibly risky.
One of the main reasons I find myself back here is that with quite little encouragement from me friends are trying to copy me. One friend followed on a family VACA to Costa Rica. Another went to Mexico City and got tangled up with what I'd call a bitch and is now talking to a cutie from France.
So I see the realities of all this everyday. I think we get too caught up on one city sometimes here. Sometimes I wonder what other people are seeing too because I've found hot women in plenty of countries too. And those countries generate zero interest here.
When my own friend's futures and even lives are on the line... if anything I steer them away from Colombia.

[JasonA]

Someone earlier mentioned 25% of foreign marriages work. Is there any data out there that shows the success rate for our type of marriages? Didn't know if that was a random BS number or if there was real data out there.

If it's a real number, I need 3 of you f'ers to get divorced!!   

[Researcher]

Over the years I have seen so many guys dive right into a relationship without spending much time with the woman. Some marry a woman much, much younger or one that is waaayyyy out of their league. Some guys are well aware of the risk they are taking while others have the "blinders" on. Either way it is by choice. I have given the advice to take it slow before and I did so with good intentions. It is just a way to "mitigate the risk". If someone wants to rush it and understands the risk they are taking then so be it. I took my time and ended up with a good woman. Marrying her was one of the best decisions I ever made. I still didn't ask her until I was comfortable with the situation though. This Saturday will be 6 years.

[pchip]

Someone earlier mentioned 25% of foreign marriages work. Is there any data out there that shows the success rate for our type of marriages? Didn't know if that was a random BS number or if there was real data out there.

If it's a real number, I need 3 of you f'ers to get divorced!!   

There is one on this site:  [size=78%]http://www.planet-love.com/index.php?topic=3403.0[/size]


I recall that the numbers are about the same as general population so 50/50 chance...

[fathertime]

If this was Texas hold 'em, you just sat down at the table. On your first hand, you look at your 2 cards and decide to go all in without even seeing the flop... Who here would say that is smart?  Anyway, we all wish you the best.

Hi Jason, I think I know what you meant but your analogy is TERRIBLE...often times in Texas hold-em people go all-in without seeing the flop.  It is the right play to make, many times there is enough money in the pot pre-flop to put pressure on the other players to risk all their chips or get the hell out...especially if you are holding bullets and the pot has already been raised once or twice.


Fathertime! 

[fathertime]

He'll probably feel it was actually me that was hard on him. And some posters that are close friends are in a catch22 situation where they don't want to say anything negative about the agency yet we all know that one short visit to Colombia and an instant engagement is incredibly risky.
 

Excuse me Marvin, as usual and perhaps out of confusion you are lumping two separate topics together.   Use of an agency and deciding to get engaged in the first few days are two separate items.   Using/doing one does not relate to the other.  There are plenty of men that meet a gal through means other than an agency and get engaged the first week…conversely there are plenty of men that use an agency and become engaged at some point later.   In addition, some men had been corresponding with their fiancé for months prior to visiting them, and those cases should be separated out from men that are introduced to their fiancé and engaged the first week.   However it is sliced the whole venture is risky…some men/women like risk so they should be allowed to risk in peace, ….other men/women by nature are a little more cautious and they should be allowed to be cautious in peace.  I’d say a problem is when a risk taker is bound up by bullsheet and can’t get off the pot…or when a cautious person gets caught up in a whirlwind and gets sucked up into something he/she isn’t ready for.   

One of the main reasons I find myself back here is that with quite little encouragement from me friends are trying to copy me. One friend followed on a family VACA to Costa Rica. Another went to Mexico City and got tangled up with what I'd call a bitch and is now talking to a cutie from France.
So I see the realities of all this everyday. I think we get too caught up on one city sometimes here. Sometimes I wonder what other people are seeing too because I've found hot women in plenty of countries too. And those countries generate zero interest here.
When my own friend's futures and even lives are on the line... if anything I steer them away from Colombia.

Your biases and overall unsatisfactory experience in Colombia have tainted your viewpoint.  You do your friends no favors by ‘steering’ them anywhere.  I’d say most men that allow themselves to get ‘steered’ by you are going to have additional obstacles.    I need not remind you, but I will anyway that you were about 25 years old when you went wife-hunting and you have a wife around the same age.  For you (and probably your friends) many , many woman abroad are obtainable and probably without much effort either. Most wife-hunters are older, some are divorced, have limited time/resources, etc.  Standing around in a nightclub or coffee shop isn’t a viable option for most.
 
    I’d wouldn’t get excited about friends trying to ‘copy’ you…I take it the pickings are slim in the Midwest…when I was in my 20’s It wasn’t too difficult to pull a beautiful babe from around town.


Fathertime!