Becoming a Godfather (Padrino) in September

[Gato4Astrid]

My ex-girlfriend's daughter, Tatiana, who will be 16 this July, has chosen me to become her godfather for her confirmation in Medellin this September.  I have accepted it.


It means I will go to Colombia again for the 9th time.  I'll probably going to Jamie's in BAQ before/after the confirmation.  I haven't decided it yet.


Anyway, I know nothing about becoming a Padrino in Colombia's church.  What shall I do?   Have you, anyone, had experience, please could you let me know, thank you

[Micky]

Gato -

I assume that you are doing this in a Catholic church,  yes?  Again,  I assume that you are Catholic,  yes?  Here they do call both,  Godfather for a baptism and for conformation.  For a baptism there are two,  a man and women,  for conformation,  there is just one,  either a man or a women.  Baptism is done by a priest,  a conformation is preformed by a bishop.  You do not really have to do anything,  stand there with your hand on their shoulder while they make their pledge.  Traditionally,  the only thing you are expected to do is give a gift,  could be some money,  to the person being confirmed.

Micky

[benjio]

My ex-girlfriend's daughter, Tatiana, who will be 16 this July, has chosen me to become her godfather for her confirmation in Medellin this September.  I have accepted it.


It means I will go to Colombia again for the 9th time.  I'll probably going to Jamie's in BAQ before/after the confirmation.  I haven't decided it yet.


Anyway, I know nothing about becoming a Padrino in Colombia's church.  What shall I do?   Have you, anyone, had experience, please could you let me know, thank you

Gato,
 
I'm the godfather father of my ex's second cousin. I am still very close to his mother (my ex's cousin and best friend). I'm not sure how godparents work for Latinos in the states but in Colombia it is taken very seriously from my experience. It's not just an absentee, "I'll take care of the child if the parents die" kind of thing. You are expected to be there at some level and help raise the child. I will admit that I didn't know what I was getting myself into but I don't regret my decision. I help him as much as possible and in a couple of years when he's a little older I'm going to fly him to Rio to visit me. I have even offered to help with English Classes. My biggest problem with it is seeing how boys are raised in Colombia. My father was a military man so I had a very strict upbringing. I was spanked for almost any wrong doing. When I stopped crying while being spanked, my father started slapping the $HIT out of me. I was cleaning my room at 5, washing dishes at 7, raking leaves and cutting the yard at 10. The three months I had for summer vacations were usually spent completing home improvement projects my father would come up with. My parent's philosophy was the more a child has to do, the less trouble they can get in. No one has the perfect childhood but I must admit I'm the man I am today because of the way I was raised. In Colombia sons are treated like kings. They get away with everything. One thing I can't stand is a child that talks back and disrespects adults, but that's normal in Colombia...especially with boys. I see my godson do a lot of things I think he should be punished for but his mother usually just laughs at it. It's a little different with girls. The pressure is on them to be caretakers as soon as they are old enough; whether that's in the house or working to support the household.
 
Best of luck to you. If your experience is anything like my own it will definitely be a responsibility, not just a title. Felicidades Compadre!

[Micky]

BenJ -

You are a Godfather,  from a baptism or conformation? 

Micky

[benjio]

BenJ -

You are a Godfather,  from a baptism or conformation? 

Micky

Baptism. Everything I do is obviously voluntary but most godparents I know in Colombia are the same. No matter how poor they are, or how little time they have, they help out any way they can. What can I say....I love the kid.

[Gato4Astrid]

Gato -

I assume that you are doing this in a Catholic church,  yes?  Again, I assume that you are Catholic,  yes?  Here they do call both,  Godfather for a baptism and for conformation.  For a baptism there are two,  a man and women,  for conformation,  there is just one,  either a man or a women.  Baptism is done by a priest,  a conformation is preformed by a bishop.  You do not really have to do anything,  stand there with your hand on their shoulder while they make their pledge.  Traditionally,  the only thing you are expected to do is give a gift,  could be some money,  to the person being confirmed.

Micky

Actually I am not a Catholic - I am a protestant.


I have already sent her a copy of my passport for evidence.

[Micky]

BenJ -

Not throwing water on your fire.  You know I have tons of respect for you and being the good man you are, of course you take responsibility seriously.  Love does not know religion,  color,  social or economic differences.  You are a good man.

A non Catholic,  although it is done,  may NOT be a Godparent (sponsor).  A non Catholic may be one of the two people (Godparents)  but technically you are a called witness.  Sure there is a difference between Canon law and practical application.  The same applies to confirmation,  only that there is only one Sponsor.  The sponsor in that case has to be a baptized and confirmed Catholic.
Just saying what the Catholic doctrine is,  not trying to rain on anyone's parade.

Micky

[Stevieboy]

Not sure about Col, but here in USA or mexico, if it's a strict catholic church, the general rule is the godfather/mother should have also been babtized and confirmed as well in a catholic church. And if you are married, you yourself would have to have been married in a catholic church as well. When we baptized my daughter, the catholic church here wanted proof of my baptizmal, confirmation and communion. I was baptized in the States, took my communion in Mexico when I lived there, but never did confirmation (usually at 14-15 yrs of age) because I was in transition to christian church, so I basically lied to the catholic church and said that the confirmation records got lost. But I wasn't going to be the godfather. Even though I wasn't catholic perse anymore, I baptized my daughter at the catholic church because her mother was catholic and wanted to keep her happy. Oh yeah, the godfather had never been confirmed either, but he was baptized catholic, and had to take a two week class to be confirmed to qualify for godfathership. You however are goin to be the godfather for her confirmation. Doesn't she already have a godfather from her baptismal?
.
Another thing,  you'll have to be circumcised. If you already have, you'll have to do it again. 
.
Congratulations on the high honor. That's a lot of responisibility to carry as Benj says.

[Micky]

"Actually I am not a Catholic - I am a protestant.


I have already sent her a copy of my passport for evidence."  -  Gato


Gato -

You should make it a point to let them know that you are not Catholic.  You sent a copy of your passport for evidence of what?  Depending on who is performing and what particular church that the confirmation is taking place,  they may require proof of your being Catholic.  I do know that some do ask,  some do not. This is just fair warning,  you do not want to get there and find out you NEED documentation that you do not have.  Good luck with it either way.



Micky

[Gato4Astrid]

"Actually I am not a Catholic - I am a protestant.


I have already sent her a copy of my passport for evidence."  -  Gato


Gato -

You should make it a point to let them know that you are not Catholic. You sent a copy of your passport for evidence of what?  Depending on who is performing and what particular church that the confirmation is taking place,  they may require proof of your being Catholic.  I do know that some do ask,  some do not. This is just fair warning,  you do not want to get there and find out you NEED documentation that you do not have.  Good luck with it either way.



Micky

Just a proof who will be the Godfather - and I will ask her if they need a proof of being catholic etc, and who will be performing etc.

[braziliangirl]

Micky,
I had my confirmation when I was 16, and from what I remember confirmation godparents had less responsibility in "raising" the godchildren. It may have to do with the fact that they are not children anymore. I was told that confirmation godparents are responsible for guiding godchildren in the Christian walk. I was required to choose a woman, and she should be a baptized, confirmed and practicing Catholic, which left me just two people to choose from. It’s very rare for people to be get confirmed around here because no one wants to take one or two years of classes in order to be able to do it. Is that how it works in Colombia and the States too?
BG
 
 
 

[Micky]

Gato -

Good enough.  I am just giving the "Catholic rules",  MANY times for confirmation they will only ask for the name of the Godparent JUST for their paperwork.  Probably a 50/50 chance that you will not need anything else.  I hope that it all goes well for you with this.


Micky

[Stevieboy]

Micky,
I had my confirmation when I was 16, and from what I remember confirmation godparents had less responsibility in "raising" the godchildren. It may have to do with the fact that they are not children anymore. I was told that confirmation godparents are responsible for guiding godchildren in the Christian walk. I was required to choose a woman, and she should be a baptized, confirmed and practicing Catholic, which left me just two people to choose from. It’s very rare for people to be get confirmed around here because no one wants to take one or two years of classes in order to be able to do it. Is that how it works in Colombia and the States too?
BG

.
Two years of confirmation classes?? That's long. I'm assuming you're in Brazil?

[braziliangirl]

 Gato,
I don’t know why your relationship ended and I don’t know anything about your ex’s family. But being a godfather is a big and lifetime commitment, so I would advise you to think carefully about it. Do you really want to have that kind of commitment with her family?
I am not saying it’s their case, but some people who are not very serious about their faith invite someone to be their kid’s godparents because of the potential gifts they may be able to give. It happens a lot around here...
Please be careful...
BG

[braziliangirl]

.
Two years of confirmation classes?? That's long. I'm assuming you're in Brazil?

Yes, I am in Brazil! Two years if you are a teenager and one year if you are an adult. It is supposed to be long, because it's when you'll confirm that you want to be a Catholic. But I guess now in some emergency cases, like getting married or even becoming a godparent, they can open excessions and give shorter classes.
Even though I was 16, I just took one year because I studied in a Catholic school. 

[Micky]

BG -

That is more/less the view as applies to confirmation.  It is really the "coming of age"  in the church.  The same applies to what you say about the difference between baptism and confirmation.  A very different view of the responsibility of the Godparents of a child being baptized and that of a "young adult"  being confirmed.  The rules of the church require that ,  in both cases,  the sponsor be a baptized,  confirmed and practicing Catholic.  The exception that I already stated,  Godparents in a baptism,  one has to be a 'full' Catholic,  the other may be a baptized christian of another denomination,  but will be technically referred to as a 'witness'  by the Catholic church.  How rules of the church are applied vary widely by country and culture.  Some priests and bishops are 'letter of the law'  others are 'practical,  real world application.


Micky

[htown]

Gato,
I don’t know why your relationship ended and I don’t know anything about your ex’s family. But being a godfather is a big and lifetime commitment, so I would advise you to think carefully about it. Do you really want to have that kind of commitment with her family?
I am not saying it’s their case, but some people who are not very serious about their faith invite someone to be their kid’s godparents because of the potential gifts they may be able to give. It happens a lot around here...
Please be careful...
BG

If this is the case then this would be a pretty trashy, disrespectful thing to do to somebody.  Oh let's call the one gringo that we barely know and have him be our kid's godparent so he can give us money and expensive gifts.  Pretty damn low class if you ask me.  I hope this isn't the case.

[V_Man]

Gato, I hope you know what you are doing.
The church requires a Godfather to be a catholic and to guide the child in the catholic faith. These are requirements and the purpose of a Godfather under Canon law.


There is often also an implied expectation by the family that you will help this child in non-spiritual ways through her life.


<blockquote>"As far as possible the person to be confirmed is to have a sponsor. The sponsor's function is to take care that the person confirmed behaves as a true witness of Christ and faithfully fulfils the duties inherent in this sacrament." (Canon 892)
<blockquote>

</blockquote>

</blockquote>

[Gato4Astrid]

Gato, I hope you know what you are doing.
The church requires a Godfather to be a catholic and to guide the child in the catholic faith. These are requirements and the purpose of a Godfather under Canon law.


There is often also an implied expectation by the family that you will help this child in non-spiritual ways through her life.


<blockquote>"As far as possible the person to be confirmed is to have a sponsor. The sponsor's function is to take care that the person confirmed behaves as a true witness of Christ and faithfully fulfils the duties inherent in this sacrament." (Canon 892)
<blockquote>

</blockquote>

</blockquote>

I have asked Astrid about it.  Her reply:




no no hay ningun problema que tu no eres catolico


no


seria chevere que fueras catolico peor si no lo eres tampoco esun problema , es mas alli no te van a preguntar eso , otra cosa tu estas bautizado como catolico entonces no veo cual fuera el problema

[benjio]

I have asked Astrid about it.  Her reply:




no no hay ningun problema que tu no eres catolico


no


seria chevere que fueras catolico peor si no lo eres tampoco esun problema , es mas alli no te van a preguntar eso , otra cosa tu estas bautizado como catolico entonces no veo cual fuera el problema

That's exactly what they told me. I'm not sure if they ran it by the priest presiding over the ceremony itself, but the family told me it definitely wasn't a problem. I honestly wasn't even aware of many of the things Micky and BG have written about it here. It's always good to learn something new though. I've been reading about Catholisism in Latin America since they replied to this thread.

[V_Man]

It would not surprise me in the least, if an ask no questions, tell no lies approach was taken. Particularly in Colombia.


I was more concerned that you realised that the family may have other expectations.

[buencamino]

Gato I am padrino to two ahijados but from baptism not confermation. In theory I would be responsible for them if something happened to their parents. Mostly I just buy them presents especially el Dia Del Ahijado which in Valle de Cauca is June 29th. Here's some more info:
 
http://www.soyperiodista.com/recomendaciones/nota-9310-dia-de-los-ahijados-la-tradicion-cali-regalar-mace