Why not just get married in their country?

[V_Man]

That is the first time that I noticed someone someone asking me about my avatar so I guess I missed the other times. It is not my wife, so you can relax. There is no privacy or anything to worry about. I'm not going to be offended.

My wife is gorgeous but I'm not going to post pictures of her here.

To answer your other question...
If I lived within 3 or 4 hours drive of an English school northern Mexico then equally I could probably fly to see her every couple of months in Bogota.

The other issue is that right now she needs to be in Bogota to complete the paperwork for the visa application.

Yes we would love to spend every weeekend together. As more time goes on then your idea would be more and more appealing.

This also has to be balanced on her other needs. I miss her a lot but at least I know she is surrounded by friends and family and everything familiar while she waits. Plus in my mind, at least, she is a lot safer in Bogota than in northern Mexico.

[A_Thomas]

Hmmmm


Why are you interested in marriage?


Some are looking for a lifetime of blissful happiness and actually go at it....like it is the last wedding they'll ever have.


Others hold back thinking that if it lasts three or four good years it will have been a good time and save money for the next bride to be. jajaja


I hear... if you find the right one.... they'll pay you to marry them and then pay you again to divorce them after they have permanent residency.

 What in the world are you talking about?


 So I want a simple ceremony and complete all the paperwork in one afternoon, is there a crime being committed?
 
 My German friend did this when she came over to America on a normal trip to marry her husband. Not only did she backdoor the system, she paid for some of the paperwork to be filed. Did a simple City Hall ceremony, walked over to the Federal building and finished the paperwork.


 In Downtown LA they aren't that far apart (walking distance).


 I rather spend the money on the reception.


 


 

[A_Thomas]

 
Question: why would you go to the Federal Building after getting married??
 
 
Ray

 I-3xxx to change her status...


 

[Ray]

 I-3xxx to change her status...

 
Well, it doesn't quite work that way.
 
40 years ago you could walk into an immigration (INS) office, get the forms, fill them out, and file the petition right on the spot. Now it's more complicated and everything is filed by mail.
 
To adjust her status after marrying on a fiancee (K-1) visa, you'll need to submit a Form I-485 and some other stuff. When you're ready to file, you can get more info plus all the required forms and instructions from the USCIS Web site.
 
Before you can file, you'll have to wait for a certified copy of your marriage certificate from the county recorder's office.
 
Getting a quickie marriage at the city hall is the easy way out and probably preferred by most of the guys. However, I strongly recommend that you find out what type of wedding your bride really wants and do everything possible to make it happen.
 
Yes, marrying in her country can be a pain and cost a little more, but it's worth it in the long run. A happy bride on her wedding day will pay dividends for many years to come.
 
The costs and processing times for filing a spouse petition after marrying overseas are actually very similar in the long run to doing the fiancee visa. There are other important advantages also, so don't automatically assume that a fiancee visa is the best way to go.
 
Which way to do it should be a decision for both you and your bride to work out together.
 
Ray
 
 
 

[A_Thomas]

 
Well, it doesn't quite work that way.
 
40 years ago you could walk into an immigration (INS) office, get the forms, fill them out, and file the petition right on the spot. Now it's more complicated and everything is filed by mail.
 
To adjust her status after marrying on a fiancee (K-1) visa, you'll need to submit a Form I-485 and some other stuff. When you're ready to file, you can get more info plus all the required forms and instructions from the USCIS Web site.
 
Before you can file, you'll have to wait for a certified copy of your marriage certificate from the county recorder's office.
 
Getting a quickie marriage at the city hall is the easy way out and probably preferred by most of the guys. However, I strongly recommend that you find out what type of wedding your bride really wants and do everything possible to make it happen.
 
Yes, marrying in her country can be a pain and cost a little more, but it's worth it in the long run. A happy bride on her wedding day will pay dividends for many years to come.
 
The costs and processing times for filing a spouse petition after marrying overseas are actually very similar in the long run to doing the fiancee visa. There are other important advantages also, so don't automatically assume that a fiancee visa is the best way to go.
 
Which way to do it should be a decision for both you and your bride to work out together.
 
Ray

 Of course I would consider her wishes, did it sound like I wouldn't???


 I will do whatever is convenient. In her country is fine... My boy Nate had one wedding in the US and then went back to his wife's country (Russia) to have another wedding for her family. Nice if you can do it, we shall see.


 


 

[Ray]

 Of course I would consider her wishes, did it sound like I wouldn't???


 I will do whatever is convenient. In her country is fine... My boy Nate had one wedding in the US and then went back to his wife's country (Russia) to have another wedding for her family. Nice if you can do it, we shall see.

 
Yes, it sort of sounded that way.
 
A lot of guys are already planning on doing a fiancee visa with a civil ceremony before they ever meet her.
 
Her religious beliefs may be another factor to consider. For example, a serious Catholic girl may not wish to break the rules by marrying outside of the church.
 
The fiancee visa choice is usually considered to be the most convenient by most guys, but convenience is only one of many factors to consider IMO.
 
The dual ceremonies in both countries is a good option if the legal requirements of marrying over there are just too onerous.
 
 
Ray
 
 
 

[beulah]

Ok but if you could have her within driving distance and in a spanish-speaking country would you consider it?  If you could spend 2 or 3 days with her every week.


She could even bring a family member to stay with her.  A sister, brother, cousin, aunt, a close friend.  She could find a school to study english.  It would be like going away to university.


Of course this scenario only works for someone who lives close to the mexican border.


If it was me I would seriously consider it.


And who is that in your avatar V_Man?

Htown,  Your idea isn't a bad one in my opinion.  I think if a woman in colombia wants to experience a country like Mexico, it could be a 100% upside for her and you.  Being an attractive single woman in a foreign country might be terrifying for many women.

[V_Man]

My wife has no concerns about being in a foreign country as long as she is with me. If she was not with me it would be a different story. Also I think you are under estimating the importance of family in Colombian society.

[htown]

If I had a choice between 6 months of skype or 6 months of weekends in person I'd choose the weekends in person.  For me it's a no-brainer.

[V_Man]

I understand where you are comming from htown.
Don't get me wrong, she may reluctantly go for it. However for her it definately would not be a no brainer. That should not be taken as an indication of hwo she feels about you but an indication how she feels about what she is leaving behind.


In our case the only option like that is to install her temporarily in a 3rd English speaking country. Where I would come and visit for about 4 weekends in total. We are not ruling that out completely but it is not a super attractive option either.


I can tell you one thing. We are both missing each other very much and she is having problems contemplating another 4 months seperated like this. Today she told me to go buy a lottery ticket so I can move to Colombia and life with her there.

[Stevieboy]

I understand where you are comming from htown.
Don't get me wrong, she may reluctantly go for it. However for her it definately would not be a no brainer. That should not be taken as an indication of hwo she feels about you but an indication how she feels about what she is leaving behind.

.
She may reluctantly go for what?  Don't you live in Australia?

[mudd]

Yeah, that's what I think too. Not to mention from what I understand, (just in case) the divorce is cheaper and quicker too without the she takes half of everyithing part.

good luck trying to enforce a prenup ( if you get one)  if she signs it in her counrty. judge will throw it out and their goes 50% of your assets, retirement ect if it doesnt work out

[Stevieboy]

good luck trying to enforce a prenup ( if you get one)  if she signs it in her counrty. judge will throw it out and their goes 50% of your assets, retirement ect if it doesnt work out

[V_Man]

.
She may reluctantly go for what?  Don't you live in Australia?

Sorry Stevie, it is getting confusing to follow. Htown's idea is for someone living close to Mexico. So he is saying (correctly) that compared to my situation it would be an awesome arrangement.
I am just saying that in that hypothetical situation you will find most Colombianas will not be so enthusiastic. That although his idea has merit, he is under-estimating the importance of certain things binding the Colombiana to her home.


When you get involved with a Colombiana, you'll soon learn about family in their culture. If you don't quickly learn how important her family is to her, I'd be concerned if I were you.
One of the reasons I married a Colombiana was the importance of family. So to then take her away from it, is a heavy responsibility. Not something one should take lightly.

[mambocowboy]

Sorry Stevie, it is getting confusing to follow. Htown's idea is for someone living close to Mexico. So he is saying (correctly) that compared to my situation it would be an awesome arrangement.
I am just saying that in that hypothetical situation you will find most Colombianas will not be so enthusiastic. That although his idea has merit, he is under-estimating the importance of certain things binding the Colombiana to her home.


When you get involved with a Colombiana, you'll soon learn about family in their culture. If you don't quickly learn how important her family is to her, I'd be concerned if I were you.
One of the reasons I married a Colombiana was the importance of family. So to then take her away from it, is a heavy responsibility. Not something one should take lightly.

excellent point. stay away from the women who don't have close relationships with their family...

[htown]

Thousands of colombianas go off to college in other cities and countries every year.  It's not that major.  Nothing stopping her from hopping on a flight to go visit home whenever she feels like it.


I'm latino so I think I know my own culture at least as good as you guys vm and mc.

[mambocowboy]

Thousands of colombianas go off to college in other cities and countries every year.  It's not that major.  Nothing stopping her from hopping on a flight to go visit home whenever she feels like it.


I'm latino so I think I know my own culture at least as good as you guys vm and mc.

first of all, Colombian and Mexican culture are not the same. Secondly,  a woman can go away to college and still be close to her family emotionally. Don't twist my words.

[benjio]

first of all, Colombian and Mexican culture are not the same. Secondly,  a woman can go away to college and still be close to her family emotionally. Don't twist my words.

I agree. About the only thing they have in common is a language and even the Spanish spoken in each country is significantly different.

[htown]

Ok latino culture experts what are the biggest differences between mexican and colombian cultures?

And please don't try to tell me colombian families are closer than mexican families.

[benjio]

Ok latino culture experts what are the biggest differences between mexican and colombian cultures?

And please don't try to tell me colombian families are closer than mexican families.

Visual Arts, Music, cuisine, fashion, historical influence of African Slaves, cultural influence of indigenous inhabitants after Spanish Colonization, Non-Catholic and Non-European Architechture, folklore, linguistic colloquialisms, agriculture (outside of coffee which is the most common cash crop in almost all Latin American Countries), Non-Catholic Festivals and Holidays, most commonly consumed spirit, etc. I've been all over Mexico and all over Colombia. Like I said...outside of the Spanish Language the two are completely different in my opinion. I'm not Latino though...so maybe you all don't see it that way. I might be a little full of myself in terms of Latin American Cultural Knowledge, but put me in a room with a Colombian and a Mexican, restricting them from saying anything about where they are from and I'll tell you which is which within three mintues of casual conversation. I'm sure you could do the same.
 
Now as far as the importance of family and the willingness of a young woman to leave her home I think that's more of a regional thing in both countries. People from larger cities tend to be more independent earlier in life, while people from rural areas are more likely to stay with family until they marry (and sometimes continue to live with family after they marry). There are also socio-economic implications for this as well. I agree with you in that respect H-Town....doesn't really matter where a girl is from in Latin America. Family is important. But to compare Mexico to Colombia pass that is insulting to both cultures.

[htown]

I don't see colombians/mexicans are any more different from each other than americans/canadians.

Family values and societal structures are very similar due to the catholic church and the legacy of spanish colonization.

Of  course cosmetic things like accent, food, and music differ slightly from one latin region to another but the fundamental culture is basically the same.

One major difference might be there are many more black colombians than there are black mexicans.

[benjio]

I don't see colombians/mexicans are any more different from each other than americans/canadians.

Family values and societal structures are very similar due to the catholic church and the legacy of spanish colonization.

Of  course cosmetic things like accent, food, and music differ slightly from one latin region to another but the fundamental culture is basically the same.

One major difference might be there are many more black colombians than there are black mexicans.

Mmmmm...I dunno H-Town. Obviously off topic but the differences are not so "slight" in my opinion.
 
Banda and Tejano vs. Vallenato and Reggaeton? Music can't get more different as far as I'm concerned. I will admit the two countries do share Cumbia, Balero and a few other less popular genres of music. But taking what most people listen to on an everyday basis into consideration proves the two countries are quite different when it comes to musical taste. Even the rock music isn't at all the same.
 
Food differs from region to region in Colombia but the most common meals are potato based soups with meat (chicken or beef) and corn, and arepas. In Mexico it's tacos and beans hands down. There's a freaking taco stand every two blocks. Ever tried to find a taco in Colombia? I wanted to cook quesidillas for some friends of mine while staying a Pereira a few years back because they had no idea what they were. I went to five major grocery stores before I found one that sold tortillas. A lot of Mexican Dishes revolve around seafood too. Outside of Costeños, it's extremely rare for a Colombian to prepare seafood at home.
 
The Spanish I'll give you. Most native speakers in Latin America can understand each other no matter what country they are from.
 
The African influence in Northern Colombia alone deserves a page or two to document the significant differences.
 
I always thought that Latin Americans were so fervently proud of their heritages because of the cultural differences you're calling "slight." I've seen someone calling a Salvadoreño a Mexican in Houston cause a fist fight. The differences have never been very subtle to me, but again, who am I to argue? Like I said, I'm not Latino.
 

[mambocowboy]

Mmmmm...I dunno H-Town. Obviously off topic but the differences are not so "slight" in my opinion.
 
Banda and Tejano vs. Vallenato and Reggaeton? Music can't get more different as far as I'm concerned. I will admit the two countries do share Cumbia, Balero and a few other less popular genres of music. But taking what most people listen to on an everyday basis into consideration proves the two countries are quite different when it comes to musical taste. Even the rock music isn't at all the same.
 
Food differs from region to region in Colombia but the most common meals are potato based soups with meat (chicken or beef) and corn, and arepas. In Mexico it's tacos and beans hands down. There's a freaking taco stand every two blocks. Ever tried to find a taco in Colombia? I wanted to cook quesidillas for some friends of mine while staying a Pereira a few years back because they had no idea what they were. I went to five major grocery stores before I found one that sold tortillas. A lot of Mexican Dishes revolve around seafood too. Outside of Costeños, it's extremely rare for a Colombian to prepare seafood at home.
 
The Spanish I'll give you. Most native speakers in Latin America can understand each other no matter what country they are from.
 
The African influence in Northern Colombia alone deserves a page or two to document the significant differences.
 
I always thought that Latin Americans were so fervently proud of their heritages because of the cultural differences you're calling "slight." I've seen someone calling a Salvadoreño a Mexican in Houston cause a fist fight. The differences have never been very subtle to me, but again, who am I to argue? Like I said, I'm not Latino.
 

Mmmmm...I dunno H-Town. Obviously off topic but the differences are not so "slight" in my opinion.
 
Banda and Tejano vs. Vallenato and Reggaeton? Music can't get more different as far as I'm concerned. I will admit the two countries do share Cumbia, Balero and a few other less popular genres of music. But taking what most people listen to on an everyday basis into consideration proves the two countries are quite different when it comes to musical taste. Even the rock music isn't at all the same.
 
Food differs from region to region in Colombia but the most common meals are potato based soups with meat (chicken or beef) and corn, and arepas. In Mexico it's tacos and beans hands down. There's a freaking taco stand every two blocks. Ever tried to find a taco in Colombia? I wanted to cook quesidillas for some friends of mine while staying a Pereira a few years back because they had no idea what they were. I went to five major grocery stores before I found one that sold tortillas. A lot of Mexican Dishes revolve around seafood too. Outside of Costeños, it's extremely rare for a Colombian to prepare seafood at home.
 
The Spanish I'll give you. Most native speakers in Latin America can understand each other no matter what country they are from.
 
The African influence in Northern Colombia alone deserves a page or two to document the significant differences.
 
I always thought that Latin Americans were so fervently proud of their heritages because of the cultural differences you're calling "slight." I've seen someone calling a Salvadoreño a Mexican in Houston cause a fist fight. The differences have never been very subtle to me, but again, who am I to argue? Like I said, I'm not Latino.
 

Excellent points, Benjio. Colombia's contribution to salsa is huge and it is such a huge part of the culture there. I have thousands of salsa songs and was surprised that my wife could introduce me to salsa I hadn't heard....Mexico has a rich musical tradition of its own, but salsa isn't part of that. I know people from Mexico City who fancy themselves more cosmopolitan because they dance more salsa there but it's not woven into the culture there. Just eally nowhere near as big a part of the culture there...check out this video of a Joe Arroyo song. People in BAQ were crying for days when he died http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c9QT3Vk-JoY

[htown]

Reggaeton isn't from colombia and it's very popular in mexico.  Cumbia and rancheras are very popular in both countries.

Food and speech differ all over latin america.

I was referring more to the culture as far as family values which are basically the same all over latin america.  Vman and mambocwby think they know more than me about the subject.

[htown]

Another idea I've mentioned before is why not look into puerto rico.  Puerto rico might be a good option for stevieboy because puertoricans don't need a visa to come to the us.  Therefore no waiting.