Feminism/Why are you looking outside your country?

[JasonA]

Hey, everyone! Who you got in the Super Bowl tomorrow? I don't like either team, but I probably dislike the Ravens less, so I will root for them.
 
I've read several comments in different threads about feminism causing problems in our countries. I racked my brain and I couldn't come up with any personal experiences with feminist American women. I live in the southeastern US where things are a little more old-fashioned in the bible belt (more manners here: opening doors for all women, yes ma'am/no ma'am. in return, there is a certain amount of respect that women have for men here). The bad part of the old-fashioned values here is that men are definitely looked at as providers and women put a little more importance on the size of a man's wallet. 
 
That brings me to the second question, why are you looking outside of your country? For me, it is because American women are spoiled (Americans in general are spoiled and more complicated- men and women). I did a lot of things for my ex-girlfriend and she would appreciate it for all of 5 minutes. Also, it is hard to find a good looking woman in her late 20's or early 30's who: a) looks good and is in shape b) doesn't have children c) doesn't have emotional baggage from a previous divorce d) isn't crazy or super religious or both. I have a hockey buddy that told me about the LAC website and part of his description of Latinas included the words, "they appreciate even the small things".  A few weeks later, those words stuck in my mind, so I thought, "not getting any younger, so why not?".
 
Share your feminist experiences and why you decided to look outside the US/other country. Curious to hear from everyone on this...

[Zon]

You are TOO close to the forest to see the trees!  You say that you do not SEE evidence of feminism, but then you site the prime manifestation of feminism as your motivation for looking abroad for a wife. 

I've read several comments in different threads about feminism causing problems in our countries. I racked my brain and I couldn't come up with any personal experiences with feminist American women. I live in the southeastern US where things are a little more old-fashioned in the bible belt (more manners here: opening doors for all women, yes ma'am/no ma'am. in return, there is a certain amount of respect that women have for men here). The bad part of the old-fashioned values here is that men are definitely looked at as providers and women put a little more importance on the size of a man's wallet. 
 
That brings me to the second question, why are you looking outside of your country? For me, it is because American women are spoiled (Americans in general are spoiled and more complicated- men and women). I did a lot of things for my ex-girlfriend and she would appreciate it for all of 5 minutes. Also, it is hard to find a good looking woman in her late 20's or early 30's who: a) looks good and is in shape b) doesn't have children c) doesn't have emotional baggage from a previous divorce d) isn't crazy or super religious or both.

When I began posting here and traveling, I was ONLY looking for a few kicks and beauty and fun.   But, over the last 5 years as I have traveled and lived outside the USA - and dated women NOT from 1st worlds (NOTE: 1st Worlds are places where feminism has blossomed into something that has yet to be defined), I object to, and do not understand the new American culture as it relates to gender.  I could write a book on the subject, but I do not have the inclination or the time.


Here is a new place on the internet devoted to these types of observations - some are accurate, some are not. www.ReturnofKings.com

Read and choose for yourself.

[JasonA]

You say that you do not SEE evidence of feminism, but then you site the prime manifestation of feminism as your motivation for looking abroad for a wife. 

Feminism is a collection of movements and ideologies aimed at defining, establishing, and defending equal political, economic, and social rights for women.^[1][2] This includes seeking to establish equal opportunities for women in education and employment.
 
I don't agree with you, Zon. Looking at the points that I mentioned...
 
1) Women looking at the size of a guy's wallet isn't feminism. It's something goes back thousands of years. Women want a guy that can provide for a family. It's something found in every society on the planet. As for not appreciating things, that's not directly tied to women wanting equal rights as men. It's tied to a spoiled ADD society with the attention span of a gold fish.
 
2) I don't think that a woman's appearance can qualify for anything that has to do with feminism.
 
3) Women having children isn't feminism either. In fact, it's the opposite.
 
4) Emotional baggage from a divorce might qualify if a woman turns into a total man hater, but that can happen in every society even latin countries.
 
5) Crazy or super religious can happen in every society also. It has nothing to do with feminism and in fact, most religions teach women to be submissive to a man.
 
Feminists don't want or need a man. They don't think that a man should pay 100% of the dinner check. They want to open the door for themselves. They want to be self-sufficient. They want to make it for themselves in the work world.  They usually don't want children.  All of the women that I have dated here, have wanted the opposite. Maybe it is different here in the south?
 
I think some people on here like to beat 'the anti-feminism drum' when they should be honest with themselves...    In Latin American countries, they can get a younger, hotter woman than they can get here and that she will be much more dependent on them. It's ok to admit it. If you are happy with your Latina, that is awesome, but don't blame feminism on your reasons for looking outside the US because that is just weak.
 
Maybe I am wrong, but I want to hear personal stories about how this feminism has c*ck blocked your dating life. Let's hear it...
 
 
 
 
 
 

[JasonA]

I thought about my above post when I went to lunch...
 
I can understand it if by feminism, you mean, 'won't put up with your BS because they have a job and can financially support themselves'.  Then yes, that feminism is alive and well in the US...   and any other country where a woman can have a good paying job.  Maybe as men in the US, we should:  a) make more money  b) be happy with less stuff.  More wives could stay home and raise the children. In my area, most women would be more than happy if they could stay home and raise the kids. 
 
How many guys on here have daughters?  Do you want them to go college? Do you want them to be educated? Do you want them to get a good paying job? Do you want them to be financially dependent on a man?  If I have a daughter(s), I will definitely raise them to be independent.  I would want them to be happy, functioning members of a society and not dependent on a man (or the government). I guess that I would be raising a feminist. You probably are too.

Stop whining and blaming women. It's our society...  men deserve at least 50% of the blame. We are a spoiled, self-absorbed culture. We are a complicated people. We like women that are less spoiled and less complicated, that's cool. I love my fiance's attitude and outlook. Let's not put all of the blame on American women. It's our whole culture, men and women.
 
(I think the distance from my fiance is getting to me. I'm a feisty one today)
 
 

[mrflow6]

I've spent some time in the south and I understand what you mean. It is different in many southern states. But, you should get out more. Try visiting and experiencing the attitudes of some of the woman in highly populated cities like on the east coast. NY, Philly, Boston, New Jersey area. Etc
You will see a big difference.

[mrflow6]

I believe it's that spoiling you mentioned has a lot to do with what many on here are talking about when they say feminism.
And yes Feminism was and is a movement but in a lot of ways it has become a bit of a Mentality that woman in the US have adopted.


So if woman in the south don't have this mentality, why haven't you found your souther bell?

[JasonA]

I'm actually from the midwest. I've been in the Nashville area since 2000, but I've travelled around the US.
 
I can understand not wanting a woman from the northeast...  The accent alone would turn me off. 
 
As for southern belles, they are feminine, but many are very spoiled. Also, I'm not religious (agnostic).  I've dated some cool chicks here, but when things get serious, religion becomes an issue  (my fiance is catholic but not super religious. we've had the discussion and we're cool with each other's views). This area takes their religion very seriously.
 
As for me in general...  remember the old parable about the ant and the grasshopper? The ant stored food all summer while the grasshopper played...   Well, I am the grasshopper. I wanted to party, have fun and chase every skirt. Those southern belles you asked about? They like to get married young. By the time that I was ready to settle down, the dating pool was divorced women (with or without kids),  religious chicks or the mentally unstable. I missed the boat. I dated several women when I was in my 20's that were great wife material...   and now they are...    for someone else!!  Hahaha
 
Are people confusing high maintenance/spoiled with feminism? Those are different things. I'm not a fan of hi-ma/spoiled, but there is nothing wrong with a woman who wants to be independent.  Most American men are spoiled as well. Hell, many are probably high maintenance too!
 

[mrflow6]

You and I have a lot in common.
I myself was a bit of a late starter and when I finally did get started, all I wanted to do was chase skirts. And know I find myself dating a lot older woman with children who think life owes them something. I'm not saying that there aren't good woman out there, even with children that would appreciate a man like myself with very good intentions. All I'm saying is that I haven't run into them. And so here I am.
Just have had enough of running into woman who have emotional baggage, multiple children, no real direction in life and still act like it should be my privilege to be with them! I've tried. Just tied of trying my luck here.
The last girl I thought of giving it a go with was a 37 yr old woman, attractive, good career, very involved in her children's life. (Which is expected. I wouldn't have it any other way or else it would raise a red flag) I met her at church. So about five months ago we went on a date and met for drinks. Things went really well. We even kissed afterward. We had made plans to meet again that next Friday and we agreed to stay in touch (texting, calling) only I found myself doing most of the leg work. Sure enough before the end of the week she said it might not be a good idea to meet cause she was too busy. I said fine.
Two weeks later I get a message from her saying that she may have jumped the gun and we should get together again. (At this point I'm thinking there is another guy, she got issues, etc) but I agreed to meet and things seem to go well. We agree to stay in touch. I text a couple of times, she doesn't reply as much as she should in my opinion and of course I'm the one initiating. So I just plain out just stop trying to get in touch with her. I move on and am dating other woman. A week later she texts me asking what happened? I just don't reply back.
(Fast forward 5 months) I get a text message out of the blue saying "hey, how u been" I'm curious cause I don't know who it is. (I erased her number as I wouldn't be needing it any more) and I ask who is this? She takes it as if I'm joking with her. Lol then she says, hey we should go to dinner tomorrow! I say sure. You buying? She says no! Then I say we'll then who is? We go back in fourth jokingly until I finally figure out who it is and ask why after all this time she wants to get together? She says she was free and thought she would get in touch.
I had no plans that weekend so I agreed to meet. What the hell right? So I tell her I would meet her for a drink. She says ok lets meet at This place. (She mentions the name of some high end bar restaurant) at this point I'm passed trying to impress her. And say no ill let you know where we will meet. So we meet at a regular pub for a drink. She feeds me the same stuff about how busy she is and how focused she is in her career. (Nothing wrong with that) She also mentions how she would like to spend more time. I was free the following Saturday. (Today) so I asked if she would like to get together. She said it probably won't be a good idea cause she had already made plans with her girlfriends to go to NY on Friday night and she would probably be too tired on Saturday. I just laughed inside. Lol she agreed to meet on Sunday though. I said ok. (I have to work Sunday) I didn't tell her this.
I also didn't text or call her all week leading up to this weekend. I didn't hear from her either. She finally texted me this morning say hello, hope your week was good and that she was surprised that she didn't hear from me! I texted her back saying " I'm not surprised that it took so long to hear from you" I also told her that although I believe she is a good person I don't believe we are looking for the same thing.


This is just one of many situations that I've experienced.
I'm no angel. I've definitely messed up in the past on one or two woman that may have been keepers. But I am a good man. I have my stuff together, I'm goal oriented and have bigger plans for my future.
I have good intentions for the right woman when I find her whether its here or there or anywhere. I'm not asking for much. I just feel that when it comes to a lot of woman/men/family/courting/etc, there is something missing in today's society. In know way would I want to go back to the 50s or the 60s. And I can definitely appreciate a woman who has her stuff together and is goal oriented. But there is something missing now a days when it comes to priorities in courting, relationships, dating that they had right back then. I don't know if its feminism or something else but all I know is that I haven't run into it here.

[Calipro]

 
Share your feminist experiences and why you decided to look outside the US/other country. Curious to hear from everyone on this...

I don't have any feminist experiences to share.... but I have some male chauvinist experiences that I could share.....I go to Colombia because I can get younger hotter women....not just a little younger and hotter....but a lot.

[Zon]

I think men are very much to blame!  And, I am not complaining.  I do not live in this world you observe; I have created another for myself.  I suggest you all should.  I do not begrudge women going to college, or a lesser man being beaten to death by a superior woman in a fight.  I am a very survival of the fittest kind of guy.


The ideals of feminism are great.  But, look what IT has done.  Feminism is ONE of the main causes of an abdication of stronger over weaker in our society ... stronger in ALL  its forms, weaker in ALL its forms. 

You are about to see a great expansion of these principals grow in the name of the Progressive Movement in many ways that will be irreversible in our lifetime.  The sexual equivalent of Communism is to be androgynous.  With this in mind, look at 80% of the women you see in an American park, or mall.

When you look at the evolution of mankind, and way societies functioned in the recent past, and compare it to the current state, things do not reconcile from the perspective of gender.  A MAN is no longer needed for security, wisdom, guidance, or treasure.   A WOMAN, all things being equal, is prone to be more successful in the modern society where a premium is placed on consistency, organization, and good conduct.

I get no joy from these observations. But, it would be worse to justify or ignore.  If I were trapped to live the rest of my days with these new societal norms, I would be very sad and feel neutered.  I like my balls:)






 

[mrflow6]

Well put Zon.

[JasonA]

Calipro-   Nice!! Attaboy!!
 
Zon- You are giving feminism way too much credit for the Darwinistic nature of our society. Europeans conquered most of the world from 1500-1800.  Americans took land away from the Native Americans. Our country and our European heritage is steeped with the strong conquering the weak. It has very little to do with the birth control pill and equal pay for women.
 
Mrflow-  I know what you're talking about. We are a spoiled and complicated culture.

[Cam]

Frankly, men turn to these foreign women sites because they have run out of options locally. I got SO tired of hearing "You're a nice guy, BUT..."
 
My last foray into the US dating "scene" was about a dozen years ago... I was still in my early 30s then. I set up profiles at several online sites, generally making very little headway anywhere. I totally gave up on them when one of the few ladies I had been in correspondence with, confided she was really a transsexual. I deleted my accounts and said "the hell with this, it's all fake and a waste of effort".
 
Now I'm in my mid 40s, worked my tail off for my employer, and built up a nice side portfolio of investments since I didn't have a woman to blow it on over those years. But I feel frozen in time. If I date at all, I'd want to "pick up where I left off". American women in their late 20s or early 30s would not take me seriously, but foreign women may.

[Zon]

but foreign women may

Correction ... foreign women WILL.   

But, to me it is MUCH more than about women ONLY.  Frankly, if it were only for women, I certainly would focus on Poland - Eastern European looks with a Latin soul.  But there is much more to take into consideration too! 

The good news is, if you are able to take action, you can change the rules of the game.  The bad news is that there is NO perfect place.  Colombia comes close for me.

[fathertime]

Correction ... foreign women WILL.   

But, to me it is MUCH more than about women ONLY.  Frankly, if it were only for women, I certainly would focus on Poland - Eastern European looks with a Latin soul.  But there is much more to take into consideration too! 

The good news is, if you are able to take action, you can change the rules of the game.  The bad news is that there is NO perfect place.  Colombia comes close for me.

At least 6 years of trying to find the ‘perfect’woman and all you have managed is 1 girlfriend for 2 weeks.  With a stellar track record like that people would be better off listening to a pimply pubescent 13 year old. 
Yeah cam, if you are at least half way decent you will have good options, as many of these ladies will overlook certain drawbacks and age, at least to some extent.  Go have some fun, get some booty, and let the chips fall where they may, another option is to be like zon and advise others while taking no ‘scary risks’. 


I think all these talks of 'feminism' is a big wussy excuse for guys like zon, there are plenty of decent women in the states that would make nice wives if the guy was decent, suave,  and relatively close in age.  I agree with calipro about the reasons to go to South America. 


Fathertime!

[Zon]

At least 6 years of trying to find the ‘perfect’woman and all you have managed is 1 girlfriend for 2 weeks.  With a stellar track record like that people would be better off listening to a pimply pubescent 13 year old. 
Yeah cam, if you are at least half way decent you will have good options, as many of these ladies will overlook certain drawbacks and age, at least to some extent.  Go have some fun, get some booty, and let the chips fall where they may, another option is to be like zon and advise others while taking no ‘scary risks’. 

I can not and do not ADVISE anybody on MARRIAGE (seems like a dangerous hobby to me).

I will leave that up to guys that VALUE marriage in and of itself, and how have spent 95% of their adult lives married or engaged, 3 x and 4 x, respectively (as far as I know?).   And, in FT's case, he still has 15 - 25 years before he is sterile - so, go get em baby:)

[mambocowboy]

a pictorial summary of what's happened in the US:
http://www.returnofkings.com/2123/40-pictures-that-show-the-decline-of-american-women

[fathertime]

I can not and do not ADVISE anybody on MARRIAGE (seems like a dangerous hobby to me).

I will leave that up to guys that VALUE marriage in and of itself, and how have spent 95% of their adult lives married or engaged, 3 x and 4 x, respectively (as far as I know?).   And, in FT's case, he still has 15 - 25 years before he is sterile - so, go get em baby:)

This does not have to relate necessarily to marriage.  If you want to keep 'helping'people by pointing out all the negatives, you should at least let them know about your lack of credibility. 
It is all empty rhetoric coming from you when it comes to advising anybody about the latina ladies in practically any respect.    There is no getting around the fact that you have only been able to muster up a 2 week relationship, one time, over the span of 6 plus years. 
 
You continually talk about ‘perfect’ and ‘perfection’  as if you are entitled to anything close to that.  People, and you in particular are NOT,   most of the new posters here have far more sensible expectations than the diseased expectations that your aging self is trying to propagate.  All one has to do is be reminded of the amazing results you have achieved, through your philosophizing about ‘feminists’and all the other evil women lurking out there.    It couldn’t possibly have anything to do with YOU of course. 





Hey I may have more than 25 years before sterility hits me, but i've fulfilled my biological destiny and i will be quite old by then so it won't be very important.  How about you?  Seems like despite your endless money and full head of hair, you are on another celibacy losing streak again! 


Fathertime! 

[JasonA]

a pictorial summary of what's happened in the US:
http://www.returnofkings.com/2123/40-pictures-that-show-the-decline-of-american-women

MC-  there were ugly people back in the 60's and there are hot women now.  A person can handpick photos and try to prove whatever point they want to make. The main difference is that more people are fat now- men and women both.
 
Makes me wonder what American women say about American men?
 
Just kidding. I don't really care.

[fathertime]

MC-  there were ugly people back in the 60's and there are hot women now.  A person can handpick photos and try to prove whatever point they want to make. The main difference is that more people are fat now- men and women both.
 
Makes me wonder what American women say about American men?
 
Just kidding. I don't really care.

Well let me take off my caca-stained boxers for a moment and slip into grandma undies for a moment and try to guess what the ladies would say about modern men.   I think woman would complain that men are gay nowadays, shaving their nuts, plucking their eyebrows, and prancing about ordering a Mexican laborer around instead of risking a broken fingernail to cut his own grass.  They would explain that many men don’t deserve to be respected as a man because they don’t behave like one, they act like needy children fishing for validation. They might complain that men self-medicate through alcohol or other drugs or spank their carrot instead of making a lady fight him off from giving her the high hard one nightly.   

Fathertime!   

[Zon]

HELPING PEOPLE?!? - like AAA, or something?   I see this place simply as men speaking among themselves with some overlapping interest. I am always a little suspicious of people trying to "help" - especially for free.  Almost always there are strings attached, or a hidden agenda.

i've fulfilled my biological destiny

I often remark to myself how single minded / simple minded you seem to be (disclaimer, I do not really know you.).   I am not sure that such a thing would be a Blessing or a Curse.   I DO THINK that it is entirely possible for a man to be happy and fulfilled and never to have a child in this life.  On the other hand, I know it is entirely possible for a man to have a child, and for those children (or the man's failure) to become a source of heart break and regret.  I think it depends on the individual.

 

[fathertime]

HELPING PEOPLE?!? - like AAA, or something?   I see this place simply as men speaking among themselves with some overlapping interest. I am always a little suspicious of people trying to "help" - especially for free.  Almost always there are strings attached, or a hidden agenda.



I often remark to myself how single minded / simple minded you seem to be (disclaimer, I do not really know you.).   I am not sure that such a thing would be a Blessing or a Curse.   I DO THINK that it is entirely possible for a man to be happy and fulfilled and never to have a child in this life.  On the other hand, I know it is entirely possible for a man to have a child, and for those children (or the man's failure) to become a source of heart break and regret. I think it depends on the individual.

It is all about fear for you huh?  Fear drove you to bring bodyguards to Colombia, and fear about the ladies has led you to 6 years of searching for the ‘perfect’woman, and now you express fear that you will one day have a kid that you are disappointed in,,,,heck you are even scared to take advise because you have fear that it contains a hidden agenda.     
       
You remind me of a mouse (I could have said rat), like a sniffing mouse you crawl out of your little hole and see a big piece of swiss cheese across the room.  You are starving but are too damn afraid to go get it. One at a time, over the years all your compadres go get a big bite full while you sit back and tremble about how a cat might come eat you up if you scamper across the room for the cheese.   You continue to urge everybody to not take the chance, as you go grow old and bitter, meanwhile many of the other mice are fat and happy, having families of their own, while you sit back and sustain yourself by eating their vomit and feces.  Every once in a while a badassed cat does come and eat up one of the other mice.  While they die going for what they want, you use that as evidence that it is just too risky to cross the room and get what you really want out of life and continue to eat vomit while trembling. 


I suppose we should have a little empathy, not many of us have to deal with this sort of fear.  I suggest you stop contemplating dissertations about ‘feminists’and go get that prime cheese that your wrinkled 50 year old arse doesn’t rightly deserve, but is there for the taking. (that one is free, no hidden agenda) 


Fathertime!

[Zon]

the only time this place gets busy is when you and the "marriage army" blasts me for being unmarried and not particularly lonely, or unhappy.  You pretend to know me.  Others try to parse the internet to support your propositions.   


It beats the hell out of me why you are either so damn sensitive, or insulted by any view that does not agree with yours? 

[pontiac]

I have a hard time relating to some of the posting's on here as it relates to meeting women in other countries.
I have have in 12 countries, have visited 25 others.  I've been traveling to Colombia since 1991 and have lived there for up to 3 months at a time.  Since I discovered Colombia, I stopped visiting other countries.
If there is one person on here that I agree with, it's Calipro.  He tells it like it is.  I know that he's successful in dating Colombiana's and I have also been successful.
It basically requires a few attributes:
1.  Time to travel and not be in a hurry to get serious.
2.  Speak Spanish (This is a must). You can use Rosetta Stone which will help enormoursly.
3.  Be well groomed
4.  CONFIDENCE
5.  Sufficient funds to live the lifestyle you prefer. (You don't have to be rich to find a good woman in Colombia).
 

[pontiac]

I meant to say "I have lived in 12 countries, etc."