Well said. I got way more out of this site pre-first Colombia trip. Now that I'm married, a lot less, obviously...As a gringo currently married to a Colombiana, I think I'm doing it the hard way. Take the normal stresses of being married, then add in language and cultural differences, and it makes for quite a challenge, although for me it's very rewarding. For any guy who thinks going into this process that it's somehow "easier," he'll be unpleasantly surprised.....
MCB,
Given my mind set, lack of patience AND lack of Spanish, I don't know how you guys do it with the language gap. I'd be in a bad spot in Colombia if it's really true that very few women (or people in general) speak Spanish. I thought there was a law that anywhere gringos go--certainly tourist areas--that they HAD to speak English!
My wife speaks very passable English, did when she landed here, has even worked with a speech pathologist on speech, written expression, idioms, metaphors and more since she arrived. All that 'work' surprised me--and we got it for free thru a local college.
It still didn't prevent her from refusing a sweet position a few months after landing here, in our public school system's four year old pre school program as a Teacher. She said she didn't want the kids learning to speak and write, based on her English--even though the Principal at the school thought she was great for the job. I kind of winced at her walking away from 40K a year to start, for a 170 day year, but I've never insisted she work if she didn't want to--she just accepted a less 'English critical', lower paying position instead.
Yet I STILL get frustrated sometimes, especially if the room's not very quiet and I can't figure out a word or two she's saying--words that effect the whole meaning of the question/sentence.
At my worst--(typically when we're a bit tired out after work, before 'bed time') I'll say "Whaaattt!!??!!"in an exasperated way, then realize how bad that makes her feel, then hurt, she shoots back a quick, appropriate "Never mind!", and I usually respond" Awww, comeon baby--one more time". And so it goes, at least sometimes...
I see plenty of Spanish speaking families where if the adults aren't speaking a good bit of Enlish by age 20 to 25, that it's pretty much the kids who do the translation for them. They say that for most people (and it seems more the case for Spanish speakers to me) that the ability to aquire a new language gets more difficult once you're an adult. That said, I can appreciate the difficulty they must experience. A friend of mine's Mom is from Colombia and after living in Boston for FIFTY years, still gets hung up a bit with English.
Some Asian languages are even harder for me to listen to than Spanish. Take Chinese and Thai, to name but two, they just sound so 'singy songy' that I wince. We spent a few days in NYC's China Town this past summer and even my wife and I had to laugh at the sound of older Chinese people 'getting into it'--arguing with each other. It was a hilarious sort of torture.
Take that and them trying to put it into English and if I was married to someone like that, I think I'd have to take aspirin with each meal. It's not their problem--it's mine.
I don't think Bob_S is too great with his Japanese, but he and his wife do just fine. I'm pretty sure so does JeffS and that importantly, both of those guys are into the culture their wives are from. I can't speak or understand too much of my wife's native language and I've been around it for over twenty years. I guess Ray can speak and understand--he's even taken lessons in his wife's language, but maybe that's just so he can argue his 'points' in more than one language!
Again, I don't know how, other than for love, you guys do it. Salute!
