Anyone ever have trouble with a latina's narco bf?

[Zon]

Having said that, I must confess my skepticism as to "moulding" latina gfs or wives nowadays. From what i see, the differences between modern-day Latin socieities and Western societies are becoming more and more blurred as chicas are brought up on a comparable diet of piosonous dross from various sources, the results of which often feature in P-L's trainwreck stories. I'm sure there are still exceptions to this rule, as cited byt IV, but unfortunately I have encountered precious few of them among the Latinas i've met personally - the overwhelming majority have been either uneducateable trash or else spoilt princesses. I think that nowadays, any guy who is seriously considering moulding his girl within a LTR, especially one that is expected to survive the challenges of a Western country, would be best off looking to meet a girl from various Asiatic or African societies where a woman is regarded as her husband's property, and acting accordingly. This is not an approach I would endorse necessarily but, as with all things here on P-L, our mileages vary.

Everything here is generalization.  HELL, I could meet an American woman today, fall in love and be happy (not probable, but possible). So, my comment on younger women being more "moldable" stands for what it is - a generalization. If a man is going to bring a wife back to the USA, Latinas and Russian with 15 plus age gaps are going to be tough to work out over time for EVERYBODY (Asians/Phils seem different).  To think otherwise, over the "long term" is naive.   But, if a guy can live someplace else ... you can stretch the age gap issue - JUST LIKE THE COLOMBIANOS DO, for example.

[V_Man]

In terms of giving back, I just want loyalty, dedication and sharing the workload of life. But I'd want exactly the same if I married the girl next door. What sort of pay back did you have in mind?

[Calipro]

In terms of giving back, I just want loyalty, dedication and sharing the workload of life. But I'd want exactly the same if I married the girl next door. What sort of pay back did you have in mind?

"stepping in and easing the financial burden and make it much easier for me to pursue a path to success."   Sounds pretty good.

[TheGreatAdventurer]

It is, unfortunately, all the more reason to relocate to her country.  I had the displeasure of watching a beautiful, wonderful, amazing Mexican girl transform in front of my eyes into a cold, uncaring, business-and-money-come-before-love ingrate who in the end treated me and valued me not as a husband, but as a troublesome co-worker or insubordinate employee who needed to be dealt with as if she were my supervisor.  It doesn't seem to matter how pure, moral, and innocent they are in the beginning... if they get a job, pursue a career, and become friends with American women, the clock is ticking and it's only a matter of time before they change into one themselves.  America changes EVERYONE.

That is not something I will ever, EVER risk again.  But alas, it is only one of the many reasons I have for planning my permanent departure from the U S of A.

[robert angel]

I think if a guy thinks he's going to marry a woman, move her to his country and 'mold' that woman into something she isn't 90%+ already, he's pretty delusional. Marrying someone and figuring that you'll be able to change them later is one of the most time tested paths to disaster. The very things you don't like about her will probably stay the same, get worse or if you surround her with the trappings of wealth and a few friends from the 'old country', just morph into even more undesirable traits. But I'm sure there's lots of  dorks who think they're 'manly' enough to pull it off. If you do decide to create---errrr---'mold' someone into being your 'dream woman', better hope you don't end up with Madame Frankenstiein! We've got some guys here with curious ideas about what 'being a man' is all about, but thinking you're going to marry an adult woman and intrinsically change her, is totally dildonic.

[Zon]

It is, unfortunately, all the more reason to relocate to her country.  I had the displeasure of watching a beautiful, wonderful, amazing Mexican girl transform in front of my eyes into a cold, uncaring, business-and-money-come-before-love ingrate who in the end treated me and valued me not as a husband, but as a troublesome co-worker or insubordinate employee who needed to be dealt with as if she were my supervisor.  It doesn't seem to matter how pure, moral, and innocent they are in the beginning... if they get a job, pursue a career, and become friends with American women, the clock is ticking and it's only a matter of time before they change into one themselves.  America changes EVERYONE.


That is not something I will ever, EVER risk again.  But alas, it is only one of the many reasons I have for planning my permanent departure from the U S of A.

Interesting discussion with many layers - it is complex and there are no guarantees.


The quote above suggests to me that the man did not select wisely and/ or manage / control the situation ... either before or during the process, or both. (sorry. do not intend to be judgmental).  Just because things are possible in the short term - when the woman has EVERYTHING to gain - does not mean they are possible in the mid-term or long term.


It is very surprising for me to consider how many gringos I know that are happily married to Colombianas, in the long term (greater than 5 - 10 years) ... when the baby thing is over, and the woman has been adjusted into a new society and really CHOOSES to stay with the man with eyes wide open, with no strategic disadvantages ... the number is DAMN SMALL!

Strategic disadvantages, no matter how small or natural, are at the bottom of most of these discussions/observations.  In environments where there is strategic equality (first worlds) the women tend to dress and act less feminine and men have less choices, lower social value, and less satisfaction.  When any man goes out of his natural home for the purposes of find a mate, there is a "sponsorship" element no matter how slight ... he is "gaming" the natural order of things to his advantage.  ( The unspoken assumption to the woman is "You get a better life, but I am a part of the proposition).   Throughout the cultural adjustment period, the man has a stronger position, obviously.  Then, if children comes, there is a natural partnership / dependency that also favors the man, again in the short term.   After all this, 5 - 10 years down the road, the woman usually gets a more balanced strategic position to the man.  Again, the man has had more than a fair chance to build a relationship that the woman would not want to leave.  BUT, how often it happens.  HMMMMM?

IMO, one ought see the considerable risks in advance, and realize that a quick meeting / marriage is almost impossible in the long term.  And importantly, IMO, men should not feel sorry for themselves or see the women as evil / wrong doers.  In the end, even in these "failed" relationships, the man had a fair shot at making the woman fall  in love with him.   What more can a man really expect?

[Calipro]

The very things you don't like about her will probably stay the same, get worse or if you surround her with the trappings of wealth and a few friends from the 'old country', just morph into even more undesirable traits. But I'm sure there's lots of  dorks who think they're 'manly' enough to pull it off. If you do decide to create---errrr---'mold' someone into being your 'dream woman', better hope you don't end up with Madame Frankenstiein! We've got some guys here with curious ideas about what 'being a man' is all about, but thinking you're going to marry an adult woman and intrinsically change her, is totally dildonic.

Who in there right mind would advocate marrying a woman that had "things that you don't like about her".  If a chick needs a sex therapist or is just a plain bitch why bother spending any time with her..... let a lone mold her interests. The chick has to be 100% into you (and you into her ) or it just isn't going to work.


IMHO any thing that I ever wanted a chick to do....or change was so small in comparison to asking her to move to a foreign country and learn a new language that is doesn't even seem worth mentioning here. But I can tell you that any live in girlfriend or even serious girlfriend I have ever had in Colombia.....had black hair. About 30% started out that way and the rest just changed their hair color because I said I liked black hair....works both ways really....never shaved my privates until I had a Colombian girlfriend either. jajaja

[TheGreatAdventurer]

Interesting discussion with many layers - it is complex and there are no guarantees.


The quote above suggests to me that the man did not select wisely and/ or manage / control the situation ... either before or during the process, or both. (sorry. do not intend to be judgmental).  Just because things are possible in the short term - when the woman has EVERYTHING to gain - does not mean they are possible in the mid-term or long term.


It is very surprising for me to consider how many gringos I know that are happily married to Colombianas, in the long term (greater than 5 - 10 years) ... when the baby thing is over, and the woman has been adjusted into a new society and really CHOOSES to stay with the man with eyes wide open, with no strategic disadvantages ... the number is DAMN SMALL!

Strategic disadvantages, no matter how small or natural, are at the bottom of most of these discussions/observations.  In environments where there is strategic equality (first worlds) the women tend to dress and act less feminine and men have less choices, lower social value, and less satisfaction.  When any man goes out of his natural home for the purposes of find a mate, there is a "sponsorship" element no matter how slight ... he is "gaming" the natural order of things to his advantage.  ( The unspoken assumption to the woman is "You get a better life, but I am a part of the proposition).   Throughout the cultural adjustment period, the man has a stronger position, obviously.  Then, if children comes, there is a natural partnership / dependency that also favors the man, again in the short term.   After all this, 5 - 10 years down the road, the woman usually gets a more balanced strategic position to the man.  Again, the man has had more than a fair chance to build a relationship that the woman would not want to leave.  BUT, how often it happens.  HMMMMM?

IMO, one ought see the considerable risks in advance, and realize that a quick meeting / marriage is almost impossible in the long term.  And importantly, IMO, men should not feel sorry for themselves or see the women as evil / wrong doers.  In the end, even in these "failed" relationships, the man had a fair shot at making the woman fall  in love with him.   What more can a man really expect?

No offense taken, sir.  And, interesting perspective.

Just to note, though... keep in mind that in my case, we were together for well OVER 10 years... met in our very early 20s, she had already been living in the 'States for a few years, and it took a long, long time for her to change, but she eventually did.  And, try as I might to "manage/control the situation", once she had decided that I was not worthy as a partner (for whatever reason) nothing I could say or do had any impact on her whatsoever.  I attribute a majority of this ultimate conclusion to the outside influences in her life, namely her American female friends.  It is an indescribably horrific feeling to know that you don't matter in any way, shape or form to the woman you've loved and dedicated your life to for over a decade, and are powerless to redeem the situation.  Fighting not only her lack of care and consideration, but all the other people in her life that are guiding her away from you.  It is not a feeling I care to experience again.

Either way, I have no interest in bringing someone back into this toxic society and environment.  Considering that I myself no longer wish to be a part of it, it is a moot point anyhow.

[Calipro]

Interesting discussion with many layers - it is complex and there are no guarantees.


The quote above suggests to me that the man did not select wisely and/ or manage / control the situation ... either before or during the process, or both. (sorry. do not intend to be judgmental).  Just because things are possible in the short term - when the woman has EVERYTHING to gain - does not mean they are possible in the mid-term or long term.


It is very surprising for me to consider how many gringos I know that are happily married to Colombianas, in the long term (greater than 5 - 10 years) ... when the baby thing is over, and the woman has been adjusted into a new society and really CHOOSES to stay with the man with eyes wide open, with no strategic disadvantages ... the number is DAMN SMALL!

Strategic disadvantages, no matter how small or natural, are at the bottom of most of these discussions/observations.  In environments where there is strategic equality (first worlds) the women tend to dress and act less feminine and men have less choices, lower social value, and less satisfaction.  When any man goes out of his natural home for the purposes of find a mate, there is a "sponsorship" element no matter how slight ... he is "gaming" the natural order of things to his advantage.  ( The unspoken assumption to the woman is "You get a better life, but I am a part of the proposition).   Throughout the cultural adjustment period, the man has a stronger position, obviously.  Then, if children comes, there is a natural partnership / dependency that also favors the man, again in the short term.   After all this, 5 - 10 years down the road, the woman usually gets a more balanced strategic position to the man.  Again, the man has had more than a fair chance to build a relationship that the woman would not want to leave.  BUT, how often it happens.  HMMMMM?

IMO, one ought see the considerable risks in advance, and realize that a quick meeting / marriage is almost impossible in the long term.  And importantly, IMO, men should not feel sorry for themselves or see the women as evil / wrong doers.  In the end, even in these "failed" relationships, the man had a fair shot at making the woman fall  in love with him.   What more can a man really expect?

Great post...by the way.


My advice is just about the same....if you have a fear of divorce.... don't get married....enjoy yourself but never spend so much money on anyone woman that you find yourself absolutely broke as well as brokenhearted....if the relationship goes bust.


And of course living with the woman overseas will dramatically  increase your odds of the relationship lasting as long as you WANT it to. 

[robert angel]

No offense taken, sir.  And, interesting perspective.

Just to note, though... keep in mind that in my case, we were together for well OVER 10 years... met in our very early 20s, she had already been living in the 'States for a few years, and it took a long, long time for her to change, but she eventually did.  And, try as I might to "manage/control the situation", once she had decided that I was not worthy as a partner (for whatever reason) nothing I could say or do had any impact on her whatsoever.  I attribute a majority of this ultimate conclusion to the outside influences in her life, namely her American female friends.  It is an indescribably horrific feeling to know that you don't matter in any way, shape or form to the woman you've loved and dedicated your life to for over a decade, and are powerless to redeem the situation.  Fighting not only her lack of care and consideration, but all the other people in her life that are guiding her away from you.  It is not a feeling I care to experience again.

Either way, I have no interest in bringing someone back into this toxic society and environment.  Considering that I myself no longer wish to be a part of it, it is a moot point anyhow.

It's real easy to say "Don't marry someone that you plan to mold into something different" or in other words, "Don't marry someone who has somethings that you don't really like, then expect that they'll change later". But to differing exents, I think we still often do. It might be seemingly small things like she's a 'bit dizzy sometimes', messy, disorganized, doesn't like to work too hard, doesn't deal well with conflict doesn't have patience with kids, and so on.
 
Sometimes people who seemed 'just the way' you hoped they'd be, change after you marry them. People grow in different ways and directions, can have different libidos and goals in life. I work with a gorgous lady who always hits me up for advice for getting ahead in her work, grad. school options, etc. Her husband was involved in assisting 'start up' companies and he made a decent sized fortune, enough so they decided he would retire and their family, with two young sons, move to where we live.
 
Although he's relatively young, he's content to stay home everyday, which now drives her crazy. She loves her work and his lifestyle irritates her. She's confided in me that she's unsatisfied with him and  'ready to 'kick him to the curb'--getting part of her 'meal ticket' and leaving. Clearly they've both changed. I hope they pursue counseling.
 
I was married almost 14 years the first time and I did not know that even though she was working as an RN in a large hospital and we were able to legally buy a house and move in together, that she was an illegal alien, having overstayed her work visa. Unbeknownst to me, marrying me fixed all that.
 
What I DID know however, should have been enough already to make me not marry her. She was an orphan. left to starveby her impoverished, irresponsible parents and had either been under govt. care or shifted between better off relatives as a child. She was basically treated like a servant slave of sorts much of the time--just a terrible childhood.
 
Never marry someone because you feel sorry for them in any large measure. That being the case, I guess I shouldn't have been too surprised that once she became 'settled' she grew more attached to things than to people. "Things"--the big house, rolex watch, fancy cars, designer everything and exotic vacations, meant more to her than people and 'relationships'.
 
All this wasn't apparent at first, as we were both starting out our careers and she certainly didn't act that dysfunctional early on. She was generous and kind, a great cook and conversationalist, our love life was hot--things were really pretty good.
 
What happened later could almost be seen as 'post traumatic stress syndrome,' showing it's ugly ass and by the time it reared it's ugly head, along with full blown 'materialism, USA style being out of hand, the credit card bills were rolling in--we had two handsome sons already and bailing out didn't seem like a viable option to me. I stayed longer than I probably should have, going by myself to counseling, doing a lot of activities with the boys myself, such as karate, music lessons, soccer, scouts, etc., and with her working 12 hour shifts Fri. Sat. and Sundays, watching the boys most of the time. We never really had yelling or dragged out fights--it all devolved into a cold marriage with a lot of passive aggression and minimal communication.
 
The boys are still growing up, but they seem pretty sound, although the divorce devastated my older son a great deal more than it did my younger. Between my ex. and I, they've been  from Asia to Alaska, Key West to Kalamazoo, Toronto to Tampa and L.A. to NYC and many more destinations. They are both smart, multilingual,savvy and sociable, although not surprisingly, my older son has some problems with relationships with girlfriends--he breaks up hard.
 
After that marriage, I always looked at a woman's family and her relationship with them much, much more closely. A woman's dynamics with her family, or a lack thereof, and the friends she keeps, can tell you a lot, as can her approach to children and career.
 
To a degree, I think that living in the same foreign country that your wife is from can help make your marriage last longer, but then the very same predicament she might have from living in the USA and changing on you, can happen to you in HER country.
 
I know that if I moved full time to her country, that I would be around beautiful, hot young women, some the age of my older son, as well as attractive older women, a lot who would be 'available' to me. Certainly not all, but a certain amount of sales girls at the malls, females out shopping, married women in the city and even single and married women in the rural areas, are very 'obtainable' to a decent white guy there. Keeping your pants on and resisting temptation is much, much harder there than in the USA.
 
So much is just reversed. My current wife has been in the USA about seven years and I knew her about four years before she came here. I think like any woman who's been here that long, she's changed. That said, it's still wonderful overall. Many changes were adaptive, but I'll admit that with both of us working and having more disposable income than before, and other factors, such as seeing all the 'conspicuous' consumption' around us, that she has developed a greater appreciation for the 'finer things'.
 
But she's dead set against debt, she's right with me on living somewhat below our means and being hopefully ready if economic times get worse--saving and having alternate lifestyle plans. She doesn't care for flashy displays of spending, nor for loud, gossipy people. I think she is, but in terms of physical attraction, she doesn't consider herself a 'hottie', and we laugh when she somewhat wistfully says she wishes she could exude that sort of appeal to others, like some ladies she knows. (I don't!!)
 
So yes, life in the USA has changed her--she's aware that she is, compared to most women where we live, that she's seen as 'exotic', but laments that people will say she's 'cute or 'pretty,' rather than 'sexy', and that as a boss at her job, she's 'nice' and 'firm but fair' and not some 'mati hari' type. She's had to learn to be more assertive in the USA, because otherwise, people will take advantage of perceived weakness.
 
So, she's changed, my first wife also changed, but the nature in which they changed and  the direction and degree of change is totally different.
 
And when we're living most of the year in her country down the road--I know that I'll change too! How that will go is yet to be seen....

[fathertime]

I think if a guy thinks he's going to marry a woman, move her to his country and 'mold' that woman into something she isn't 90%+ already, he's pretty delusional. Marrying someone and figuring that you'll be able to change them later is one of the most time tested paths to disaster. The very things you don't like about her will probably stay the same, get worse or if you surround her with the trappings of wealth and a few friends from the 'old country', just morph into even more undesirable traits. But I'm sure there's lots of  dorks who think they're 'manly' enough to pull it off. If you do decide to create---errrr---'mold' someone into being your 'dream woman', better hope you don't end up with Madame Frankenstiein! We've got some guys here with curious ideas about what 'being a man' is all about, but thinking you're going to marry an adult woman and intrinsically change her, is totally dildonic.

this is a sensible way to look at it..and as he says often times the changes don't go in the direction planned. 




.i wouldn't expect a woman to change drastically...small measured changes over time is very possible though.


fathertime!   

[mudd]

Going up to chicks in a high end club to hit on them is not a good way to go about meeting women in Cali. And of course you will probably get some aggravation from the guy that invited her out because

very few women go out alone.  Could be that you could meet a woman that is with a group and is unattached but you still might get blocked because someone else still paid for her to get in and is paying for her drinks. Colombians tend to go out in groups....and often there will be twice as many women as men in the group ...but you will still have trouble picking one off....at the very best you might get a phone number that is it.

same goes for medellin, most girls dont have the $$ to waste  so they are usually invited by a male friend/ amigo con derechos  or with a bf, unless she is upper class and has $$$, and good luck with hitting on that 


my friend rick in medellin was hitting on a hottie in a bar, guess he didnt get the hint because the bf came over and punched him in the face lol. wish i could have seen it. 

[htown]

I went to a discoteca last weekend and ended up hanging out at the table of some colombians.  They kept giving me shots of tequila and the novia of the guy who was paying for everything was being a little too friendly with me.  Each time she would talk to me I could see the guy look the other way like he didn´t notice it but I´m sure he couldn´t have liked it.  Anyway I kept everything respectful and didn´t return her flirtacious conversation.  I was nice to her but respectful.


Right next to us was a table of about 6 colombianas and no guys who had their own bottle of tequila and were obviously on the prowl and I totally pussied out and didn´t talk or dance with any of them.  From what I understand that´s a rare thing to find down here and my sorry ass didn´t even go for it.  Oh well, there´s always next time.

[benjio]

Right next to us was a table of about 6 colombianas and no guys who had their own bottle of tequila and were obviously on the prowl and I totally pussied out and didn´t talk or dance with any of them.  From what I understand that´s a rare thing to find down here and my sorry ass didn´t even go for it.  Oh well, there´s always next time.

And you call yourself a Texan?! Wussy. 

[michaelb]

I find it strange that Colombians would be drinking tequila. Are you sure it wasn't aguardiente?

[htown]

I find it strange that Colombians would be drinking tequila. Are you sure it wasn't aguardiente?

Yea it was definitely tequila.  It happened to be mexican theme night at this particular disco.  They had a guy singing vicente fernandez songs and tequila was on special, same price as aguardiente.

[V_Man]

htown, you did the right thing. It is far better to take things one step at a time. Watch and learn. Don't be too hasty. As you described things, it would have been OK to ask them to dance but you were wise to just take things one step at a time.

With regards to Colombianas' behaviour: my fiance repeatedly warns me that even her own cousins will flirt with me in inappropriate ways and she hates it.

[htown]

Oh man friday night I went on a chiva party organized by some gringos.  That turned out to be a crazy night.  I drank way too much again.  They gave us these shot glasses you wear around your neck and came around every once in a while giving us shots of rum and aguardiente.  And again I had some older colombiano's girl all over me lol!!  Well I think the guy was gone by the time she started dancing with me.  I'm not sure because I was wasted by that point.  Then the bus stopped at some disco and me and some of the other guys went in.  Right away I spotted a big group of colombian chicks with only one guy that I saw.  I guess I was feeling good because I went right up to them and tried dancing with them and got rejected bigtime.  One of the girls put her hand on my chest and kind of motioned for me to step back.  Basically telling me to get the eff away.  That kinda sobered me up a little bit and brought me back down to earth.  This argentina guy from our party was on the dance floor kinda getting a little play from some other girls and I should've stuck with him but right about that time these other american guys grabbed me and said let's go to a strip club.  That was a mistake.  I just went along with them because I was drunk and they seemed like cool guys, and plus it's hard to say no to going to a strip club.  What I didn't realize at the time is these guys are just passing through medellin, not living here like me, and didn't care about meeting normal chicks.  They just wanted some quick action before they leave town in a couple days on to the next city.  It was cool but it's hard to have fun when every chick you talk to wants you to give her money.  A couple days later when my memory started coming back to me I realized I should've tried to keep up with the colombiana that was dancing all freaky with me on the chiva.  Man she was hot!  Of course I don't know what exactly was her arrangement with the guy she was with at the beginning of the party.  It's still all kind of a blur.

[benjio]

Oh man friday night I went on a chiva party organized by some gringos.  That turned out to be a crazy night.  I drank way too much again.  They gave us these shot glasses you wear around your neck and came around every once in a while giving us shots of rum and aguardiente.  And again I had some older colombiano's girl all over me lol!!  Well I think the guy was gone by the time she started dancing with me.  I'm not sure because I was wasted by that point.  Then the bus stopped at some disco and me and some of the other guys went in.  Right away I spotted a big group of colombian chicks with only one guy that I saw.  I guess I was feeling good because I went right up to them and tried dancing with them and got rejected bigtime.  One of the girls put her hand on my chest and kind of motioned for me to step back.  Basically telling me to get the eff away.  That kinda sobered me up a little bit and brought me back down to earth.  This argentina guy from our party was on the dance floor kinda getting a little play from some other girls and I should've stuck with him but right about that time these other american guys grabbed me and said let's go to a strip club.  That was a mistake.  I just went along with them because I was drunk and they seemed like cool guys, and plus it's hard to say no to going to a strip club.  What I didn't realize at the time is these guys are just passing through medellin, not living here like me, and didn't care about meeting normal chicks.  They just wanted some quick action before they leave town in a couple days on to the next city.  It was cool but it's hard to have fun when every chick you talk to wants you to give her money.  A couple days later when my memory started coming back to me I realized I should've tried to keep up with the colombiana that was dancing all freaky with me on the chiva.  Man she was hot!  Of course I don't know what exactly was her arrangement with the guy she was with at the beginning of the party.  It's still all kind of a blur.

HTown,
 
I'm sure you're going out with people you trust but please watch your ass down there dude. These are the types of stories I hear all the time in Colombia from gringos before they tell me they woke up in a motel room nude with all their belongings stolen...or even worse. Never assume you can trust a guy just because he's a gringo in Colombia. A lot of men go down there, get associated with the wrong crowds, lose their bearings, go broke and get hooked on cocaine. They can actually be much more dangerous than most Colombians because we as gringos tend to let our guards down when we meet an American anywhere else in the world. I've met enough of these guys in cities outside of Medellin to know there have to be hundreds of them there. Nothing wrong with having a good time but take it easy on the shots. Ron Medellin, Old Parr, and Aguardiente are all relatively smooth liquors for their strength. It's easy to drink too much of either one and not realize you're completely wasted until it's too late. I try to stick with the beer and take a shot maybe once an hour when I party in Colombia...but just a suggestion. It's just entirely too dangerous not to have your wits about you when you're out and about. ENJOY YOURSELF!!!..but be careful down there man!!!

[htown]

Yea these gringos that organized the party are real square types.  Seemingly pretty safe.  I was careful not to come across as too sketchy or ghetto to them if you know what I mean.  A couple of the backpackers, an aussie and an indian guy offered me some blow on the chiva but that's not my thing so I politely declined.  But you're right Benjio it's never a good idea to get wasted in a place with one of the highest crime rates in the world.  Trust me I wouldn't have been so relaxed if these weren't preppy poblado square type gringos.  I'm pretty used to being careful and knowing what's going around me from living in Monterrey Mexico, and don't forget you can get in deep doo-doo in Houston real quick too if you don't know what you're doing haha!