Trip preparations

[kennumen]

Not sure which forum to put this in. Honestly I could see this going in all three - but not Jokes hopefully, nor Flame Wars, one would hope. It's concerning my trip though so while it's not a report per se... Let's just see if it gets moved or no

So I've just passed the three month mark until departure. I haven't ordered my flights yet - checking for deals on Cathay Pacific - but I'm determined to go with my destination set as Cebu, have my dates set out and allocated vacation time. I leave early November on Saturday for two weeks (arriving Sunday), returning on Sunday (arriving Monday) and back to work Tuesday which should leave most of Monday to recover from jetlag. I have my immunizations (one shot left a week or two before I leave), my passport is okay and near as I can tell no need for a visa beforehand - just fill out a tourist visa on the plane.

As for the flight, I see three choices. First, do I leave from Brussels or from Amsterdam. If Amsterdam, do I use Cathay Pacific or China Airlines?
1) Brussels: Cathay Pacific + British Airways. The airport is near so the train trip would be short and cheap, could probably get a free ride even from friend or family. It arrives sunday at 7pm and leaves sunday at 7pm, so this works very well even if I find a working girl, all departure and arrival times are very reasonable. The only downside (unless I find a good deal) is it's about a 20% markup from the China Airlines offer. I don't see a problem with British Airways doing one leg of the trip - they're part of the same one world partnership plus the layover on the first trip is 5 hours in London. No risk there.
2) Amsterdam: Cathay Pacific. Fairly expensive train trip (50 euros) with at least 3 different trains. The flight itself is 1stop though. Layover on the trip there is 9 hours though. GG 0.o Longer layover than the 2stop Brussels flight combined. Flight is same price as from Brussels (slightly more even - lol). Unless there's a deal here that's not in Brussels, this is my least favorite. A *good* deal.
3) Amsterdam: China Airlines + Philippine Airlines. Same train as above. Flight's also 2 stop. Dirt cheap though - almost 20% less (including the train). Arrives at 3pm, leaves at 11am so that's reasonable. Thing is I've been warned - by members here - not to have a layover in Manila. Layovers are only 2 hours, so combining those two facts means there could be genuine risk of missing the connection.

Despite that and a somewhat limited budget I'm still leaning towards the Brussels trip. No train (probably - or a much simpler train trip at least) and confidence in the connecting trips. It's only two weeks so I'd kick myself if I lost a day due to the flights (especially if I end up attributing it to trying to save some money)...

I've also signed up for FilipinoCupid a while ago. Some people were recommending FilipinaHearts (which was merged/turned into FilipinoCupid), others DateInAsia. I unhid my profile and got a 3 month membership this week (which is a month too long but I got sucked in by the savings). Looked through roughly 2000 profiles, messaged about 15 girls. I'm commited to Cebu so I disregarded any Luzon and Mindanao profiles. Set the age range to 20-26 (enough to have as large a range as possible while still having some maturity up to a few years younger than my 28). Set a few more settings to my preferences, then went through pictures first - disregard most with makeup or bikini shots, make sure I find them attractive (which means little more than straight eyes and long hair), etc... Then looking at the profiles, disregard (most of) those that seem incompatible or with words like "easy" or "looking around", etc. Anyway, an afternoon spent whittling roughly 2000 options down to 15, sent each of those a short message, we'll see how that works out. Clearly I'm not a player as I had trouble writing 2 short paragraphs each, but they were at least all personalized.

A few preliminary notes on FilipinoCupid: I didn't get any attention while logged out. When logged in I might get a profile look or an 'interest sent' every half hour. Best guess is young Kano's have a reputation for being promiscuous and/or not have their life together. Whatever, I only need to change one girl's opinion. It's clear though that a paying member gets some sort of attention buff after (and during, I believe) login. The localization options could use some addition - mainly per province and subprovinces. If I could have searched for Central Visayas and Eastern Visayas that would've been a big help. The best I could figure out is 250km around Daantanbayan - which I believe includes a bit of Luzon, probably excludes a few parts of Visayas but also excludes Mindanao. In short, everywhere reasonably reachable from Cebu airport (I hope).

If it's clear in a month (or sooner) that none of those 15 pan out it's likely I'll try DateInAsia. If I haven't found someone a month before departure I'll probably just go stag and, like, hopefully not die. Or at least not die painfully.

So that's what I do have, and I think I have everything I need up to at least a month before departure. I also know about common sense things like sun block (SPF 5000 or whatever's highest - I'm vampire white) and aftersun (because it still won't be enough), pills (I made a list somewhere - hopefully I'll get to go to the provinces so that will include malaria pills, but there's definitely anti-dhiarhetic pills on that list), and so on. There's also tech stuff - my phone (Samsung Galaxy S2) and laptop. I already have a new mastercard - 1% cashback woot! I'll have my old visa along as well as backup but if the mastercard works out I'll cancel it (expensive, no benefits, and possibly unnecessary). I'll need some PHP (I could buy dollars but then I have to pay for two exchange rates). I also have the Culture Shock! Philippines book and have watched a ton of anime (asian culture in general) so I should be more or less set there. Hopefully I'll find some 'filipino street life' video on youtube so as not to dress like an obvious tourist. Did I miss out on anything?

Should I take my phone with me? It should be able to handle the Phils network (Quad band GSM 850/900/1800/1900 - Quad band UMTS 850/900/1900/2100). It's got a nice camera in it (more than enough for me - despite a lack of optical zoom), holds a few games and has internet (+ weather service, etc) at best everywhere at worst in a hotel or anyplace with public wifi hotspot. I'm slightly worried about breaking it but quite worried about it being stolen. It's an old model now but still $350 new I believe. Then again - do tell - maybe I'm just being paranoid. Filipinos being such a cellphone-centric society perhaps noone would even notice mine. As for the laptop I've got plenty of options (all slow and outdated). I have an 18" model which is great (albeit aging) but won't last a single movie on the battery and can't fit in my laptop bag. I have a 12" touch screen model with a bad quality screen that takes 15 minutes to start up, a broken battery and the hard drive is at risk of failing (obviously a bad choice). Then there's a 15" model I haven't booted up in 3 years but which -while hopelessly slow for my needs- should still work. Or I could find some magic in my budget and buy a new one (already looked into an Ivy Bridge with a GT660M)... And risk it on a world trip lol. Went on a bit there - apologies, I'm a tech guy.

Don't be too hard on me - this is my first trip in over 5 years and my first trip to Asia

[thekfc]

Personally I would do #1 - the Brussels departure.  That is the best out of the 3.
With BA & CX your luggages will be tagged all the way to your final destination

#2. Layover of 9 ours is too long (unless you want to go into the city) plus with 3 trains there is more of a chance of a train delay getting to the airport & missing your flight.

#3. Questions about this one.
I don't think that China Airlines (CAL) & Philippines Airlines (PAL) have a codeshare agreement - that be 2 separate tickets & with a miss-connection.....well you don't want to deal with that

In regards to the 2 stops (from #3).
Is it AMS to TPE to MNL to CEB or is it AMS to TPE to CBE?
If it is the former then that would mean you have to change terminals in Manila.....that would be a no vote.

The latter is more ideal (China Airlines do fly directly to Cebu)........keep reading .

Since CAL fly out of AMS to TPE & from TPE directly to Cebu then Philippines Airlines should be out of the picture.

What search engine gave you these itinaries?
Did you try searching on the airline's website?

Concentrating on one area (Cebu), ain't you are limiting yourself. That "diamond" you are looking for may just be in an area you overlooked.

Your quad band phone will work in the PI as long as it is unlocked.
Stolen - as long as you don't go flashing it around then you should be fine.
Laptop - 18" too big..... 12" bury it....15" is the best out of the 3.   
Personally, I would leave these 3 laptops at home & go with the S2, it should be sufficient.......unless you get a deal on a new lappy in time.

On a side note, I wouldn't cancel the visa just yet - the longest cards help your credit history.

Keep us posted.

[kennumen]

Personally I would do #1 - the Brussels departure.  That is the best out of the 3.
With BA & CX your luggages will be tagged all the way to your final destination

#2. Layover of 9 ours is too long ... more of a chance of a train delay...

That's what I figured, and agreed.

#3. Questions about this one.

I don't think that China Airlines (CAL) & Philippines Airlines (PAL) have a codeshare agreement - that be 2 separate tickets & with a miss-connection.....well you don't want to deal with that

In regards to the 2 stops (from #3).
Is it AMS to TPE to MNL to CEB or is it AMS to TPE to CBE?
If it is the former then that would mean you have to change terminals in Manila.....that would be a no vote.

I didn't think so but forgot to look it up. China Airlines have many partners, not including PAL. PAL has a few partners but only one airline from the looks of it - Air Philippines.

As for where CAL flights would layover (AMS-TPE-CBE is actually 1stop, btw), it would be in CAN (Guangzhou) and MNL.

 

What search engine gave you these itinaries?
Did you try searching on the airline's website?

I used SkyScanner for all my searches: BRU - AMS. I did google for about half an hour but came up with all websites already a part of SkyScanner so quickly lost the will to look any further. I did check out Cathay Airways once, but the listed price was more than at eBookers (one of the SkyScanner sites) + it was AMS only (no BA connection from BRU listed). I do shamefully admit I could put more time into this.

 

Concentrating on one area (Cebu), ain't you are limiting yourself. That "diamond" you are looking for may just be in an area you overlooked.

It's a risky move, I admit. But I'm roughly at the point where I should buy a plane ticket, I think. I would constantly be worried about security in Mindanao (perhaps not warranted but I do have some paranoia), and I'm not very interested in Manila so I rolled the dice and decided on Cebuu, or rather central and eastern Visayas. It's not too late though and if you feel I've made a mistake I invite you to tell me so (although I would appreciate an explanation over a simple "You're wrong. Period.").

 

 Your quad band phone will work in the PI as long as it is unlocked.
Stolen - as long as you don't go flashing it around then you should be fine.
Laptop - 18" too big..... 12" bury it....15" is the best out of the 3.   
Personally, I would leave these 3 laptops at home & go with the S2, it should be sufficient.......unless you get a deal on a new lappy in time.

A new lappy is probably a pipe dream. I'll keep an eye out for deals and the other eye on my budget though. The main reasons for a laptop is extra space for pictures/movies (unlikely to need it but perhaps I'll go nuts - the S2 has 1080p30 video after all and I doubt a phone could compress that properly if at all) and perhaps watch a movie or two, play a game in downtime. That must seem nuts, probably is, I'm just a cautious person that likes to have all bases covered (too much, I know). Perhaps I really should leave it behind, but if I take a laptop an extra benefit is I get to take an extra laptop bag (which last time wasn't weighed and could hold a few non-laptop items - but means yet more to carry). Something to ponder on.

 

 On a side note, I wouldn't cancel the visa just yet - the longest cards help your credit history.

I'm not sure that's how it works in europe. I've never, not once, seen an ad for a credit check, for instance. Honestly though I have a halfway decent limit on the new card, plus 1% cashback, plus way cheaper yearly cost (i think the visa runs 30-50 euros a year just to have). I'm not sure it would be worth it either way, could just rebuild credit with the new card if that's true.

Thanks for all the advice

[thekfc]

 

 I didn't think so but forgot to look it up. China Airlines have many partners, not including PAL. PAL has a few partners but only one airline from the looks of it - Air Philippines.

Actually Air Philippines (aka Airphil Express/PAL Express) is an affiliate of PAL.

As for where CAL flights would layover (AMS-TPE-CBE is actually 1stop, btw),  it would be in CAN (Guangzhou) and MNL. 

Sorry I was referring to AMS to TPE to MNL to CEB as the 2 stops one. 

China Airlines is a Taiwanese airline & their hubs are Taoyuan & Kaohsiung.  I don't thing that they fly from AMS to CAN to MNL and bypassing their main hub - CAL to TPE then to MNL is more like it.  Normally on an international flight, an airline would fly into their hub then make the connections there.
Guangzhou is the hub for China Southern.  Are you sure it is China Airlines & not China Southern? You may want to check on that.

I used SkyScanner for all my searches: BRU - AMS. I did google for about half an hour but came up with all websites already a part of SkyScanner so quickly lost the will to look any further. I did check out Cathay Airways once, but the listed price was more than at eBookers (one of the SkyScanner sites) + it was AMS only (no BA connection from BRU listed). I do shamefully admit I could put more time into this.

Note that sometimes when some of the search engines give you a price that price does not include taxes & surcharges. Also the time of year you travel will impact the prices of the tickets.

It's a risky move, I admit. But I'm roughly at the point where I should buy a plane ticket, I think. I would constantly be worried about security in Mindanao (perhaps not warranted but I do have some paranoia), and I'm not very interested in Manila so I rolled the dice and decided on Cebuu, or rather central and eastern Visayas. It's not too late though and if you feel I've made a mistake I invite you to tell me so (although I would appreciate an explanation over a simple "You're wrong. Period.").

I think you misunderstood what I said.

I said that you are limiting yourself (your search) by concentrating on a small portion of the populations.

You say said “everywhere reasonably reachable from Cebu airport” I figured that to be Cebu City. Cebu City has a population of 866k. Let’s say half of that are male = 433K. Of that 433K, how many are children, elderly, already married, unmarried by have children, not interested in a foreigner, etc, etc, etc.
Personally, I do not think it is a risky move or you are making a mistake. You are taking the main first step by getting on a plane. When you get on the ground in the PI it will be an experience And that first trip will be getting that first hand experience to see if the culture suits you, if that culture is what you want to spend the rest of your life with.

I'm not sure that's how it works in europe. I've never, not once, seen an ad for a credit check, for instance. Honestly though I have a halfway decent limit on the new card, plus 1% cashback, plus way cheaper yearly cost (i think the visa runs 30-50 euros a year just to have). I'm not sure it would be worth it either way, could just rebuild credit with the new card if that's true.

I have no idea how things work in Europe but here in the USA, the length of your credit history helps your credit rating.

[Capstone]

China Airlines is a Taiwanese airline & their hubs are Taoyuan & Kaohsiung.  I don't thing that they fly from AMS to CAN to MNL and bypassing their main hub - CAL to TPE then to MNL is more like it.  Normally on an international flight, an airline would fly into their hub then make the connections there.
Guangzhou is the hub for China Southern.  Are you sure it is China Airlines & not China Southern? You may want to check on that.

China Airlines and China Southern are both members of the Skyteam alliance which means that they code share many of their flights - so it is probably listed & sold as a China Airlines flight by some outlets but is actually a China Southern plane.

[thekfc]

You are right there cap.
I was thinking if they both fly to & from the same destination (both China Airlines & China Southern do the AMS to MNL route - they just connect at their respective hub) why would they codeshare. But I forgot that even though airlines fly the same route, the do codeshare to increase frequency of service.

I did a search and there is a China Southern + Philippines Airlines combo but that is only on Skytours (no such combo on either of the airlines site including China Airlines) so I suspect that may be separate itinaries/tickets.

During my search I say a 1-stop flight on Korean Airlines (AMS to ICN to CEB) & it is also on the Korean Airlines site. That KE flight was cheaper than the China Southern + Philippines Airlines combo for the same date. YMMV as there are a few factors that can affect the prices (date, availability of seats,  etc, etc). 

[kennumen]

Thanks again for the replies, guys.

Honestly I check out the flights quite a bit. Maybe I'm missing out the important stuff, but I look at the departure and arrival times - preferably not arriving 23:50 and leaving 0:50 like virtually all cheap flights - losing me a day and causing trouble for the lady I hope to find. Maybe that might fly for a second trip but best not for a first trip, methinks. I also check out layovers, anything over 6 hours is a pretty big nuisance, anything over 4 hours only some nuisance, but too long is not too big a deal if total trip is under 26 hours. Anything under 2 hours layover could ruin a connection, so I'm skeptical about those too. I also see if all flights are from the same alliance/partners/team/whatchamacallit. Obviously 1stop is a big benefit over 2stop, if available (only in amsterdam which comes with train stops). I also have to keep in mind not to have a layover in MNL. Which airlines are less of an issue to me, I can't really see any listed that I know to be of inferior quality.

Note that sometimes when some of the search engines give you a price that price does not include taxes & surcharges. Also the time of year you travel will impact the prices of the tickets.

I think I read it includes everything but it's always best to be skeptical. You're not committed until you press that last 'submit' button Once I've decided I'll also take a closer look at which luggage is complementary - Cathay for example includes an extra laptop bag.
 

I think you misunderstood what I said.

I said that you are limiting yourself (your search) by concentrating on a small portion of the populations.

You say said “everywhere reasonably reachable from Cebu airport” I figured that to be Cebu City. Cebu City has a population of 866k. Let’s say half of that are male = 433K. Of that 433K, how many are children, elderly, already married, unmarried by have children, not interested in a foreigner, etc, etc, etc.
Personally, I do not think it is a risky move or you are making a mistake. You are taking the main first step by getting on a plane. When you get on the ground in the PI it will be an experience And that first trip will be getting that first hand experience to see if the culture suits you, if that culture is what you want to spend the rest of your life with.

Actually I frequently have trouble getting on the same level as others - so you're right, it's me, not you

Well, first I figured early booking for flights is crucial to a good experience. I'm not experienced in this matter but I figured 3 months or so beforehand means early, so I set myself that limit (which I've passed now, leaving early november). With that in mind, there appeared to be 3 options of international airports - Manila (servicing Luzon), Cebu (servicing the Visayas), and Davao (servicing Mindanao). With 10 minutes worth of research and a state dept. statement I excluded Mindanao believing it to be unsafe. That's most likely an unfair and untrue assumption but keeping in mind certain traits of my personality combined with my lack of (recent or solo) travel and I'll stand by that decision.

Next I read a little about how Manila is quite dirty (particularly air-quality wise), combined with certain cities in Luzon being well-known for certain recreational activities I'd rather not be party of (Angeles City, among others) and I excluded Luzon. As a bonus, it sounded like Cebu has more and better (Bohol at least) beaches. I'll wholeheartedly agree that these are flimsy arguments but I felt I was under time pressure and just picked on what little information I had. If you say I have more time to book my flight then most likely Luzon is an option. So when I said I was looking at Cebu I didn't mean Cebu city or Cebu province/island but Cebu Airport servicing the entire Visayas - or at least anything I assumed I could get without spending too much of my rather short 14 day trip on more travel (I have no basis for this but it's roughly a radius of 250/300km around Cebu City, excluding Mindanao areas - 12 hours travel one way would be acceptable, any more might be more inconvenient but fortunately at this point I wouldn't know any better).

 

I have no idea how things work in Europe but here in the USA, the length of your credit history helps your credit rating.

Frankly I don't know too much myself. I'm about to get a mortgage to buy some land so I should know this month. I think all they look at is current debt and a year's worth of pay stubs. In any case I'll still have my Visa for this so I'll keep my ears open for whether they mention it - thanks.

[thekfc]

 Personally, for me a 3-6 hour layover is ideal. That should give enough time if my arriving time is late/long line at the transit area and if it the flight is early then I can spend some time in the lounge.
I don't "trust" separate itinaries (tickets) especially if the participating airlines do not have a codeshare agreement.
 
If you are going to Cebu then I would advice to skip Manila not for the reasons some people may think but mainly because you will have to change terminals (unless your flight to Manila is on PAL & the connection to Cebu is also on PAL). Changing terminals is a hassle - collect your luggage, go thru immigration, take a taxi/bus to the other terminal (they are NOT connected), go thru immigration again & recheck your luggage. I think I just convince you to skip or Beijing but that wouldn't stop me from visiting these places.
 
I cannot comment on Mindonao as I have never been there. Maybe Ray, Dave H & RA can do the honors.
 

Next I read a little about how Manila is quite dirty (particularly air-quality wise)

I can say the same about the pollution in many cities like LA or Beijing but that wouldn’t stop me from visiting these cities….far from it.
 
 I spent my honeymoon in Bohol and it is a nice place. 
 
As for the beaches -  the PI is a group of island and no matter where you go, you are bound to find beautiful white sand beaches.

[kennumen]

Personally, for me a 3-6 hour layover is ideal. That should give enough time if my arriving time is late/long line at the transit area and if it the flight is early then I can spend some time in the lounge.
I don't "trust" separate itinaries (tickets) especially if the participating airlines do not have a codeshare agreement.
 
If you are going to Cebu then I would advice to skip Manila not for the reasons some people may think but mainly because you will have to change terminals ...

Good to hear another opinion
 
 

I cannot comment on Mindonao as I have never been there. Maybe Ray, Dave H & RA can do the honors.

I know some of them live there - perhaps they're having some trouble with the weather.

 

 I can say the same about the pollution in many cities like LA or Beijing but that wouldn’t stop me from visiting these cities….far from it.

Sometimes it seems the entire country's one big suburb. That said I'm not a fan of any big city actually. I do see myself spending at least two nights and (half) days - one after arrival, one before departure - in Cebu though but that's certainly not set in stone. I accept it will be quite an experience and I'm open to changing my opinion of big cities.

 
 

I spent my honeymoon in Bohol and it is a nice place. 
 
As for the beaches -  the PI is a group of island and no matter where you go, you are bound to find beautiful white sand beaches.

I think just about anyplace where a honeymoon is spent ends up being a special place

I did of course at first assume all of PI would have nice beaches, but then read the opposite. There are plenty of places with rocks instead of sand, or rocks scattered in/around the sand. There might be a big dropoff in the water just a few yards in, sea urchins infested waters, etc... Like I said I'm not experienced but it seemed plausible that perhaps not all of PI had nice beaches. Oftentimes bad info is far worse than no info at all... Thanks for setting the record straight.

I do have one question about a profile. If a girl writes "i like going places but because my family doesn't allow me to do that i just always stay home, ..." - this got my attention (made me careful) but it's not a red flag, right? You could read it as "I want a way out of this place" but it could just as easily be more innocent? Still, I'm asking more experienced members what I should read into that.

[thekfc]

The PI is made up of 7107 islands & about 2000 of them are inhibited - that is a lot of beaches.
Most of the beaches you read about are the "touristy" ones.
My wife said that the next time we go to Pangasinan, she (& her family) will take me to Anda & the Hundred Islands - to the white sand beaches as well as the caves. She say we will go "local" as I am no longer a tourist. 

I do have one question about a profile. If a girl writes "i like going places but because my family doesn't allow me to do that i just always stay home, ..." - this got my attention (made me careful) but it's not a red flag, right? You could read it as "I want a way out of this place" but it could just as easily be more innocent? Still, I'm asking more experienced members what I should read into that.

Protective parents.
6 wife's nieces and countless of other female cousins/friends in their late teens/early 20's - I chat with them & also read their drama on FB. 

[Ray]

Ken,
　
Actually, you are correct about the beaches. I have seen some horrible beaches in the Philippines. From my experience, the best beaches generally have been down south, northern Mindanao and surrounding islands. Luzon has some really nice beaches, but others are often crowded, dirty, polluted, or very rocky.
　
Traditional Filipino culture frowns upon young ladies going off unaccompanied with members of the opposite sex. Chaperones are still expected in most areas, especially for males not well known by her family.
　
Until you meet her family in person, and they approve of you, I would not expect your Filipina lady friends to take off with you without a chaperone. It is mostly to protect the young lady’s reputation from malicious gossips, of which there are unfortunately many.
　
When thinking of relative safety in Mindanao, you should divide the island into the northern part and the Muslim areas in the southwestern part. The Muslim areas are generally not safe, especially for inexperienced travelers.
　
Manila is an area that you definitely want to visit eventually, but I agree with your decision to skip it altogether on your first trip.
　
I think you could find plenty to keep you occupied in Cebu City and the surrounding areas for a week or more, so you may want to rethink the time you are planning to spend there. I think your travel plans are fine, but I personally liked to just play it by ear after I got there. I would often go to the local bus terminal, take the next bus that comes along, and see what happens. I like the adventure in that, but it really helps to have a Filipina friend along as a travel companion. Advance lodging reservations are normally not needed and you should generally be able to get a better rate as a walk in.
　
A note on flight connections: My wife usually flies home on Cathay Pacific from LA to Cebu with a plane change in Hong Kong. The connection only has a scheduled layover of a little less than one hour, but she has never missed the connection, and they have even held the Hong Kong-Cebu flight for connecting passengers arriving from Los Angeles. So, I wouldn’t worry too much about short connection times if continuing on the same airline, at least in the case of Cathay Pacific. You can get a recent history of their actual arrival/departure times on their Web site.
　
Ray
　

[kennumen]

thekfc, I think perhaps your wife is cherry-picking beaches for you

Traditional Filipino culture frowns upon young ladies going off unaccompanied with members of the opposite sex. Chaperones are still expected in most areas, especially for males not well known by her family.
　
Until you meet her family in person, and they approve of you, I would not expect your Filipina lady friends to take off with you without a chaperone. It is mostly to protect the young lady’s reputation from malicious gossips, of which there are unfortunately many.

I've considered that and I think I would actually prefer if she shows up with chaperones. It shows the family cares but also it brings a certain weight to the whole thing. In a way it's also confirmation she's not playing around. Frankly it should be interesting to see that part of the culture. I am of course a young man but regardless of whether I take into account my hormones, I am pro chaperones. I might be bummed out if we can't be alone at all but if she's the one, there's always a second trip. If - heaven forbid - she isn't, at least I can walk away confident I didn't besmirch her reputation.
　
Thanks for some info on Mindanao. With my background I'm still convinced it was a good call avoiding the island altogether - certainly for my first trip.
　

I think you could find plenty to keep you occupied in Cebu City and the surrounding areas for a week or more, so you may want to rethink the time you are planning to spend there. I think your travel plans are fine, but I personally liked to just play it by ear after I got there. I would often go to the local bus terminal, take the next bus that comes along, and see what happens. I like the adventure in that, but it really helps to have a Filipina friend along as a travel companion. Advance lodging reservations are normally not needed and you should generally be able to get a better rate as a walk in.

Good info here. It's not that I'm worried about being bored in a city. Just right now (with so many variables still undecided) I'm planning a minimum of 2 nights in Cebu City, the rest is up for grabs. That said, I'm a planner, but a plan is but a guideline. It doesn't mean you follow it to the letter or follow it at all. The way I see it a plan is more of a backup... plan. Plan B so to speak. I think I'd rather spend most time outside the city but at this point I really don't have a clue and a lot depends on if and which girl I meet.
　

A note on flight connections: My wife usually flies home on Cathay Pacific from LA to Cebu with a plane change in Hong Kong. The connection only has a scheduled layover of a little less than one hour, but she has never missed the connection, and they have even held the Hong Kong-Cebu flight for connecting passengers arriving from Los Angeles. So, I wouldn’t worry too much about short connection times if continuing on the same airline, at least in the case of Cathay Pacific. You can get a recent history of their actual arrival/departure times on their Web site.

Wow, less than an hour? I guess if it works for them... I'd feel more secure with a bit longer layover but if it's the same airline I'm confident there would always be a pretty simple solution - most likely the next flight would be slightly delayed as you say.

[thekfc]

thekfc, I think perhaps your wife is cherry-picking beaches for you

Pangasinan is where she was born & grew up so she knows the area very well and she can cherry pick beaches all she want - I will be enjoying myself.   
　

Wow, less than an hour? I guess if it works for them... I'd feel more secure with a bit longer layover but if it's the same airline I'm confident there would always be a pretty simple solution - most likely the next flight would be slightly delayed as you say.

Cathay Pacific's minimum connection time (MCT) at HKIA is 50 minutes.
If your connecting flight is late, they try to accommodate you (next flight,  put you on partner airline, etc,)

For the passengers who are cutting it close, usually Cathay Pacific will have agents in the terminal at their arriving gate with signs for their flight number and name and they'll escort them or give them further details.

[kennumen]

How long before your trip do you recommend booking your flight? What do you use as a cutoff time? 1 month before departure? 3 months?

<edit> Still interested in the answer although it is somewhat of a mute point - just ordered my flight from AMS - CEB (stop in HK) with Cathay - great deal at 820 euro including all costs (disabled all insurance, extra 15 euro for Mastercard payment - 7 euro after 1% cashback). The only non-CC payment option was iDeal which is solely for Dutch citizens... So I ordered it just under 3 months before my trip. </edit>

[kennumen]

Okay, it's been two weeks since I ordered my flight and started looking for a woman, so I figure it's time I gave you guys an update.

1) Arriving and leaving at a convenient time in the Phils is great, but I shouldn't forget the departure time here + arriving at the airport 3 hours in advance for check-in + trains not moving before 4-5am (and then having somewhat limited schedules). In short, the best option is to be driven an hour, take a train to Schiphol, fly to HK, fly to Cebu, and (optionally) take a plane/ferry to the girl I hope to find or lacking said woman, an interesting place to visit. Lots of transportation and layover, but I'm still excited. Already.
2) I don't know why some women take my 4 paragraph introduction letter with as many questions and respond very briefly. Three examples come to mind: "No, the chocolate hills are not made of chocolate", "Thanks for the long letter.", "i think so...hehe" (which must be in response to the final question of my letter, paraphrased "might you be my special someone?"). It's fairly clear to me that the first two are just responses out of politeness, but the last confuses me to no end. The response indicates she's interested, but then why is her reply to me lengthy letter just one sentence?
3) Girl's answers on FilipinoCupid for 'Looking For' confuse me. I get it when they're looking for something very specific (like someone from London or w/e). I even get things like when they just copy their own profile into it, probably thinking they had to fill it out twice. What I don't get is why they might be looking for a smoker when they're not smoking, and such things.

So, out of 5-10 girls I contacted at FilipinoCupid, a few replied, one even replied a few times then stopped. I signed up for DateInAsia but found it's search system to be severely lacking. FilipinoCupid's search system is inadequate for my standards but DateInAsia's "advanced" search doesn't even compare. Being an IT guy, I did the logical thing and avoided monkey work by doing IT monkey work. Cloned pages from the advanced search (up to 1 week since last logon, give or take) - 10000 results. Filtered it down to my preferences using data they provide - 600 results. Narrowed it down to pictures I find roughly attractive (or better) and profiles (self-introduction and looking for sections) I feel a connection to, 20 results. Messaged all these women, and we'll see how it goes. I have 10 weeks to narrow it down to either 0 or 1 woman. Whatever may happen I will not lead anyone on (so it might be 0) and I will not 'hedge my bets' (so it might be 1, but no more). I feel bad enough about messaging 20 women.

I think I'll wait until 4-6 weeks before the trip before deciding where to go, what to see, what to do.

[robert angel]

Okay, it's been two weeks since I ordered my flight and started looking for a woman, so I figure it's time I gave you guys an update.

1) Arriving and leaving at a convenient time in the Phils is great, but I shouldn't forget the departure time here + arriving at the airport 3 hours in advance for check-in + trains not moving before 4-5am (and then having somewhat limited schedules). In short, the best option is to be driven an hour, take a train to Schiphol, fly to HK, fly to Cebu, and (optionally) take a plane/ferry to the girl I hope to find or lacking said woman, an interesting place to visit. Lots of transportation and layover, but I'm still excited. Already.
2) I don't know why some women take my 4 paragraph introduction letter with as many questions and respond very briefly. Three examples come to mind: "No, the chocolate hills are not made of chocolate", "Thanks for the long letter.", "i think so...hehe" (which must be in response to the final question of my letter, paraphrased "might you be my special someone?"). It's fairly clear to me that the first two are just responses out of politeness, but the last confuses me to no end. The response indicates she's interested, but then why is her reply to me lengthy letter just one sentence?
3) Girl's answers on FilipinoCupid for 'Looking For' confuse me. I get it when they're looking for something very specific (like someone from London or w/e). I even get things like when they just copy their own profile into it, probably thinking they had to fill it out twice. What I don't get is why they might be looking for a smoker when they're not smoking, and such things.

So, out of 5-10 girls I contacted at FilipinoCupid, a few replied, one even replied a few times then stopped. I signed up for DateInAsia but found it's search system to be severely lacking. FilipinoCupid's search system is inadequate for my standards but DateInAsia's "advanced" search doesn't even compare. Being an IT guy, I did the logical thing and avoided monkey work by doing IT monkey work. Cloned pages from the advanced search (up to 1 week since last logon, give or take) - 10000 results. Filtered it down to my preferences using data they provide - 600 results. Narrowed it down to pictures I find roughly attractive (or better) and profiles (self-introduction and looking for sections) I feel a connection to, 20 results. Messaged all these women, and we'll see how it goes. I have 10 weeks to narrow it down to either 0 or 1 woman. Whatever may happen I will not lead anyone on (so it might be 0) and I will not 'hedge my bets' (so it might be 1, but no more). I feel bad enough about messaging 20 women.

I think I'll wait until 4-6 weeks before the trip before deciding where to go, what to see, what to do.

Sounds like you're detailed focused, with an almost algorithmic methodolgy for sorting through the number of women on these sites. I think you probably realize that how a woman responds to your letter and questions will reflect her education and other aspects of her background, including whether she's from out in the provinces or born and raised in a large metro area. Some women are just going to be more reserved than others.
 
Many Filipinas, including what we often call 'traditional Filipinas' will tend to shy away from giving concise, 'to the point' answers, ESPECIALLY to a question like: "might you be my special someone?" I know you indicate you 'paraphrased' that query, but trying to get a yes or no answer to a Q like that from the type of Filipinas I get along best with, is as easy as nailing a slab of jello to the wall. You're going to get  responses--but probably short ones and you'll probably have to read between the lines at that. Even then, you might not 'get it' if you're too 'logical'.
 
I don't think Dr. Spock would get past first base in the Philippines with a really good gal--he'd be trying to figure her out to no end. Sometimes you have to run with your heart and gut instincts, AFTER you've let your sheer brain power get you to a certain point. There must be a reason why the word 'anal' is the first part of the word 'analyze'. I'm not saying that's you--even I get lost in minutia--in the details sometimes, at the expense of not geting the big picture in 'real time'. I think a lot of folks over analyze things.
 
Sure, as indicated above, there are exceptions among women. I think Filipina Cupid lets women pick from a a limited number of titles to put on top of the letters they send to you, that include the subtle "Love at first sight!" and other equally amazing replies from women, amazing in that they haven't even really seen you in real life yet.
 
Then again, Filipinas are, if nothing else, typically very warm and fuzzy romantics, big on cards, roses, chocolates and teddy bears, although those things are rare luxuries for many of them. Bring lots of little things for their friends and family too.
 
As for reducing the amount of the number of women you actually hope to meet, that's normal unless your dumb. I'd guess most fellows take the time and effort to get the final count down to somewhere between three and five women. Then it typically gets really difficult to narrow it from there. The trips I made were all focused on one woman per trip, but by the time I got on the plane, even the first time, if I landed and found that my numero uno choice was atcually very different than what I expected, I had made enough friends/contacts, that getting on the computer and messaging some ladies there, then hopping a plane or ferry would have assured that I had company. But on my first two trips, I didn't find 'the one'.
 
My first time out, I had some scary notion that if 'my girl' and I didn't work out, that I'd be alone in my hotel room for weeks, eating strange food, watching TV in a language I couldn't understand, totally bummed out. The reality is that chances are that within a stroll of your hotel, there will be all the western fast food and coffee shop brands you already know, the TV is full of reruns of USA TV series and meeting the droves of people outside is incredibly easy--even a taxi driver could offer to introduce to to a sweet niece or sister if you seem like a decent fellow.
 
On my second trip, I stupidly announced my intinary in Cherry Blossoms chat, including the hotel I was staying at. After I (we) got there, I had women basically camped out in the hotel lobby, including some who'd traveled pretty far, some even bringing their mothers with them! It was embarassing to the point where I didn't want for me and my gal to enter and leave via the front lobby, but you get the point--the odds are in your favor. Some call it 'the rockstar effect', but don't let your head get too big--seek quality over quantity.
 
I had, as is my bent, already taken my time and met a lot of people on line. A few of them were older ladies, who were very informative and pretty to the point about my 'options' with the ladies and how they could help me find 'companionship' of different types. I can't overstate how helpful these older ladies were in giving me insights, but that was only after they decided I was "OK"--it took a while to win their confidence, but boy, they eventually told me 'how it really is"!
 
The types of women they offered to introduce me to included gals that would, for nothing more than the cost of a new bathing suit, some 'resort clothes' and a few trinkets, accompany me around to nice hotels and beaches--sort of 'living it up', with physical 'fringe benefits' included, if you know what I mean. Then there was (is) another 'tier' of girls, including some that would accompany me, but want separate lodging (at least initially) and were typically more educated, often with jobs they could take some days away from (if the guy seemed promising) and  they were also more marriage minded. Then there were even more they offered to introduce me to, who were tied to work and family and with whom I'd have to stay in their area to make their aquaintance.
 
You can and many have done this, including Dewey--namely you can 'wing it' Shortly before he was ready to take that 30 hour flight to see his 'number one', Dewey caught his number one choice in a 'no no' situation-- after his tickets were already bought. He went anyway, had a great time and even met a great gal--things look pretty promising. He just shifted gears and traveled a bit, meeeting nice folks 'here and there'.
 
But I'd advise whittling down the numbers until you get to five or less, deciding on who's number one, then planning on spending time your time there with her. If for some reason 'number one' doesn't work out, be as nice as possible, arrange an exit and exercise your options.
 
Holding onto 'number one' --leaving her in limbo, while simultaneously trying to see several other women, will likely only be a disaster, because any woman worth being considered as potentially your 'wife', especially a Filipina, will be livid if she finds out you are actively--i.e. 'physically' pursuing other women at the same time. All these women, from the most remote provinces to Manila (the most densely populated city on earth right now), have heard horror stories about us western 'he devil playboys'.
 
Besides, she may have brothers, uncles, or a dad, who have bolo knives, intent on defending their family honor!
 
Be smart, but not clinical. Go there with a plan, but be flexible and fair. But first and foremost, realize that even if you don't have a plan or a care in the world going there, that you're still going to have a great time and at the bare minimum, a great vacation, that you're going to meet some really friendly people! And remember, don't drink the water and do bring the immodium! And oh--we expect a trip report--OK?

[thekfc]

                                       

......seek quality over quantity.

[kennumen]

Wow, thanks for the time and effort you took with that reply, Robert.

Sounds like you're detailed focused, with an almost algorithmic methodolgy for sorting through the number of women on these sites. I think you probably realize that how a woman responds to your letter and questions will reflect her education and other aspects of her background, including whether she's from out in the provinces or born and raised in a large metro area. Some women are just going to be more reserved than others.
 
Many Filipinas, including what we often call 'traditional Filipinas' will tend to shy away from giving concise, 'to the point' answers, ESPECIALLY to a question like: "might you be my special someone?" I know you indicate you 'paraphrased' that query, but trying to get a yes or no answer to a Q like that from the type of Filipinas I get along best with, is as easy as nailing a slab of jello to the wall. You're going to get  responses--but probably short ones and you'll probably have to read between the lines at that. Even then, you might not 'get it' if you're too 'logical'.

I have read about filipino politeness resulting in indirect answers (generally meaning 'no'), but as I haven't experienced it first hand I find it difficult to find and draw the line. I'm sure it's something I will learn quickly without too much damage. Though to be honest that last question was meant semi-rhetorical (you can't possibly know at that point) and perhaps a bit coy. After I wrote that post, I went back and replied to all one-line answers. It's a bit disappointing to share about myself in 4 longish paragraphs (and ask a question with each paragraph to stimulate conversation and make her response easier to formulate), only to find it completely ignored. On the other hand I did copy+paste it 20-25 times so perhaps I am unfair in expecting at least a paragraph back. There's no harm in trying and I'll see if those lead anywhere meaningful - I'll try and suppress my dubiousness
 
 

I think a lot of folks over analyze things.

You're probably correct in that I overthink things. I know I am weak in that regard and I do try to lessen it, but my mental prowess is one thing I'm quite confident about (in some regards, at least) so it can be hard not to flock to my secure space. At least I try not to be anal all the time
 
 

My first time out, I had some scary notion that if 'my girl' and I didn't work out, that I'd be alone in my hotel room for weeks, eating strange food, watching TV in a language I couldn't understand, totally bummed out. The reality is that chances are that within a stroll of your hotel, there will be all the western fast food and coffee shop brands you already know, the TV is full of reruns of USA TV series and meeting the droves of people outside is incredibly easy--even a taxi driver could offer to introduce to to a sweet niece or sister if you seem like a decent fellow.

I guess that worry is natural. It's against my nature but if I don't find anyone, I would like to just go with virtually no plans (aside from perhaps a hotel reservation first and last night). I'm very IT so I'm considering leaving my laptop behind to help 'force' me out. With a laptop I could spend all day inside watching movies, playing games, reading internet, and programming but then why go to the Phils? I'm there to experience the culture, meet people, and find out if I would enjoy having that culture in my family for the rest of my life. I want to go there to improve myself and expand my mind. The only limitations I hope to allow myself is safety (which includes immodium and avoiding knives other than cutlery) and a modicum of physical comfort.
 
 

On my second trip, I stupidly announced my intinary in Cherry Blossoms chat, including the hotel I was staying at. After I (we) got there, I had women basically camped out in the hotel lobby, including some who'd traveled pretty far, some even bringing their mothers with them! It was embarassing to the point where I didn't want for me and my gal to enter and leave via the front lobby, but you get the point--the odds are in your favor. Some call it 'the rockstar effect', but don't let your head get too big--seek quality over quantity.

It sounds like a good way to meet a random person, but you're not very likely to meet someone compatible. I'm not sure I could be comfortable with the rockstar effect, yet part of me hopes to just arrive and go "I AM the rockstar"
 
 

The types of women they offered to introduce me to included gals that would, for nothing more than the cost of a new bathing suit, some 'resort clothes' and a few trinkets, accompany me around to nice hotels and beaches--sort of 'living it up', with physical 'fringe benefits' included, if you know what I mean. Then there was (is) another 'tier' of girls, including some that would accompany me, but want separate lodging (at least initially) and were typically more educated, often with jobs they could take some days away from (if the guy seemed promising) and  they were also more marriage minded. Then there were even more they offered to introduce me to, who were tied to work and family and with whom I'd have to stay in their area to make their aquaintance.

I would be fine having no physical benefits my first trip. I'd also be fine to stay with the family - in fact it must be one of the most interesting experiences. It would be somewhat disappointing to find a great gal who has little time to spend with you, but I would be gutted if a girl gave up her job for me at that point. I understand the culture and difficulty of finding good jobs, hopefully enough. I specifically chose to fly in (and out) of Cebu during 'normal' hours on a Sunday even, to allow for the eventuality of her having a job. Of course that only counts if she can and wants to make it to Cebu Intl Airport in the first place, but at least it's an option. Excepting the quantity of women, I like to keep my options open.
 
 

You can and many have done this, including Dewey--namely you can 'wing it' Shortly before he was ready to take that 30 hour flight to see his 'number one', Dewey caught his number one choice in a 'no no' situation-- after his tickets were already bought. He went anyway, had a great time and even met a great gal--things look pretty promising. He just shifted gears and traveled a bit, meeeting nice folks 'here and there'.

That's an option for me, and one I'm actually a little excited (and terrified) about. Of course it means not having found anyone so I'd be slightly disappointed but like I've said many times before, if I meet someone, great; If I'm flying in and out solo, so be it - good enough. It's better together but I'm fine by myself. And I'm only 28 after all.

 
 

But I'd advise whittling down the numbers until you get to five or less, deciding on who's number one, then planning on spending time your time there with her. If for some reason 'number one' doesn't work out, be as nice as possible, arrange an exit and exercise your options.
 
Holding onto 'number one' --leaving her in limbo, while simultaneously trying to see several other women, will likely only be a disaster, because any woman worth being considered as potentially your 'wife', especially a Filipina, will be livid if she finds out you are actively--i.e. 'physically' pursuing other women at the same time. All these women, from the most remote provinces to Manila (the most densely populated city on earth right now), have heard horror stories about us western 'he devil playboys'.
 
Besides, she may have brothers, uncles, or a dad, who have bolo knives, intent on defending their family honor!
 
Be smart, but not clinical. Go there with a plan, but be flexible and fair. But first and foremost, realize that even if you don't have a plan or a care in the world going there, that you're still going to have a great time and at the bare minimum, a great vacation, that you're going to meet some really friendly people! And remember, don't drink the water and do bring the immodium! And oh--we expect a trip report--OK?

Nothing to add there really except for agreement. I'm not sure I want 'options' if I have a #1 and she doesn't work out. Meaning my 'option' would be to uncharacteristically fly by the seat of my pants. I'm not expecting romantic results that way but it should be a good learning and growing experience.

Thanks for the advice, I'll have to adapt in reference to some advice, and can be more confident about a few other assumptions.

Oh, and after all the help I've gotten here I couldn't possibly not write a trip report. It might not be during the trip, but (assuming I survive) I guarantee at the least a post-trip report.

[Ray]

kennumen,
　
If you want to ask some serious questions while corresponding by e-mail, try asking one question at a time instead of bombarding them with a bunch of questions all at once. You may just find that you will get more meaningful answers that way.
　
Leaving the laptop at home is a great idea. I think you’ll be able to experience a lot more without the constant Internet connection.
　
A good way to evaluate a lady in the first few hours after meeting for the first time:
　
  1. If she turns her cell phone off and devotes her attention to you alone, then she may be a keeper.
 
  2. If she is constantly answering calls or texting her friends while she is with you, then dump her fast.
　
Ray

[robert angel]

It's real easy, actually it's probably quite normal, to be worried on your first trip. And especially after you've made a few trips, it's real easy to forget how nervous you once were and find yourself laughing, looking back. I remember reading state dept. warnings and really focusing on the worst parts, which were (and pretty much still are) hyped up. I had visions of terrorists cutting off my head, shrinking it and wearing it around their necks, as they gleefully spent the ransom they'd collected on poison for their arrowheads. Very, very far from the truth.
 
Most of my time was/is spent in Mindanao, which gets a lot of negative press and a lot of that time we spend there is 'off the beaten path', out in the countryside, where I'm the only white person, there's no internet and there are actually are some elements of Muslim and communist extremists 'out and about'. But I knew who I was with and I don't care to talk politics or religion anyway. They pretty much gave me advice if I needed it and sometimes they advised me not to go 'here or there' and it typically had nothing to do with anyone's religion or politics--it was just a 'bad neighborhood' just like you can find neighborhoods in Davenport, Iowa, Dublin, Amsterdam or elsewhere--just someplace you'd be better off staying out of.
 
I never had problems in Cebu City, nor in Manila, but Manila's really several large cities (with different names), thousands of neighborhoods and I had knowledge from questions I asked and excellent, often unsolicited advice from folks I met. We recently spent a week in NYC and were amazed that when we got lost, we had people walk us across the street to right subway stop. Once, we paid two fares to go the wrong way and a lady stuck her metro card in real fast and slapped two fares into our hands and said "right over there--have fun!" Others walked us down the block to where we were trying to go--very different than the NYC of 25 years ago--and while it was great, the average Filipino is still probably still more friendly and helpful than most folks in the "Big Apple"!
 
Sometimes I laughed off advice, such as when they told me a house down the road had a family that practiced 'black magic' and might give me 'the evil eye' if I passed by, but I respected their advice--really their superstition and didn't go that way, although I eventually met the family by chance and with no harm. One of them touched me and I was told to touch them back to return any negative energy they imparted on me and I did so. No big deal. Chances are you won't encounter that and even if you do, no harm will come your way.
 
There's still tons of stuff I don't know and probably will never know, about their culture, superstitions and how they really view us foreigners and I have a house there! But that's OK--I feel very safe, even walking around alone in the wee hours of the morning there, in the countryside or anywhere in the quite livable city of Davao, where we have our modest home.
 
There are some places, like Jolo Island, parts of Cotabato--places you'd never want to go to--places you'd have no reason to go, as you wouldn't be welcome or fit in, Then there are some real seedy parts of Manila too and other nasty 'squatters' slums in various regions, but trust me, you'll be warned or be able to tell before you even got near to places like that.
 
There's a lot of poverty and some people get numb to that and others get ground down and or depressed by it, but just because an area is poor, doesn't mean the people aren't very nice and generous with what they do have. Personally, I feel a strange kind of wonder that I keep to myself when I am around such poor people, people who if they have two beans to their name, will share one with me before eating, then thank God for the two beans, rather than asking God for 'more beans'. I feel like the nicest guy in the world if I can find a nearby store and for a buck or so, buy the locals a basketball or volleyball before I leave. I know they'll share it and that no D.C. Diplomat could win more hearts.
 
I find myself amazed that a lot of time, the poorer people there smile and laugh more than the rich ones, have better attitudes and spend more meaningful time with their families, enjoying music and things that many of us don't even notice or perhaps, just don't take the time to notice. Wealth distribution is very lopsided there, and the extremes of wealth and poverty--the distance between the two there, seems greater to me than what I see in other nations. But overall, the people seem so damn happy that it leaves me wondering.
 
I had my money belt under my underwear the first trip, but after that first trip, I didn't even bother. I don't advise carrying thousands of dollars anywhere and travelers checks aren't accepted at places I've gone to in the Philippines, but keeping just what money you might need for the day on your person and the rest in a hotel safe or tucked away at a trusted person's house, is always a good idea. So is not wearing fancy watches or gold jewlry, dressing up to a high degree etc. I've carried a big, expensive digital SLR and always felt safe, but while I'll still bring one, 99% of pictures will be made with a smaller camera--the big one's just TOO big to lug around.
 
If you're black or white, you're going to get noticed anyway, but you might as well try and fit in at least a little bit. I always wore slacks, not shorts and usually just jeans and a T shirt--cotton is best, I think. Maybe if you're going to a wedding or some such thing, packing one button down shirt and/or a polo shirt might be OK, but then again, with all the bustling malls--(and they are fun and different for most foreigners too), you can always find clothes, unless you wear XXXL or something.
 
Heck, a male who like you is 28 y/o overthere is a guy just hitting his prime as a 'desirable, marrigable' fellow and gals who are that age are really under a lot of pressure if they're not married already, so you're going to a real nice, friendly place in an excellent position. Learn how to say just a few words: hello, please, thank you and good bye in their language, they'll love you even more and you'll really be rocking!

[kennumen]

Ray, the way I generally go about it is I write a decently long paragraph about myself (if it's not my first letter, I hook into what they wrote), then ask a question very related to what I just wrote. At worst I'm asking something as personal/serious as I just shared. In that regard, having no questions answered does smart a bit, but I try to be understanding and when I encounter this I do take a different approach. Asking just one question certainly is one of the options, and thanks for suggesting it.
Great general info, and your stories are worth reading Robert. I probably am being overly cautious, perhaps even to a laughable degree - but contrast that with my inexperience traveling and perhaps sheltered upbringing, and I'd say most of that is just good precaution at this point. It's true any city has its dangerous parts but I myself have never even had to consider that so - it can't hurt to be careful I do catch your drift though - being too careful means you're missing out, and I hope to amply take that into consideration. A local would be ideal for this, but I certainly don't want a girl just for that so if I don't find one I'll just wing it and hope to meet great people during my stay
I'm not just white - I'm pasty white. Maybe that's 'in' right now with the whole vampire craze, but I suspect I'll be crispy red or rather tanned by the time I get back. As for a camera I'm fairly certain I'll just take my Samsung Galaxy SII. That thing certainly cost enough but it takes 8MP pictures (more than enough even considering some photoshopping/cropping) and (!) even 1080p30 video. I'm not sure I'll take all that many pictures. More of a "look, I was really there" thing, not a "well I was there and took 20,000 pictures but couldn't realy experience it because I was busy taking pictures"

I am in my prime (although for the Phils, it looks like 30-40 is the real prime) and mostly desirable (if I'm permitted a brief absence of modesty), but that only needs to work on one woman I know hello, please, thank you and goodbye in several languages (including english, spanish and probably 3-4 others) but when you say 'their' language - in a general sense for the visayas - are you referring to Cebuano, Tagalog, or both?

[robert angel]

Kennumen;
I'm no expert--Ray has actually taken lessons I think, although it's probably in Tagalog--I bet he knows ALL kinds of words and phrases, lol, but Cebuano is basically same thing as Visayan and is probably what you should focus on, as I think you're primarily going to that region. I have heard around 29% of Filipinos speak Visayan, including my wife.
 
What's pretty cool about Visayan speakers is that they can typically understand and speak Tagalog, but someone who only speaks Tagolog can have a hard time understanding Visayan, or so I am told anyway. I've heard Portuguese has a similar advantage over Spanish.

I hate to admit that other than knowing a very few words and phrases, I'm pretty much unable to speak either language/dialect, other than the most common words & phrases. I can't understand much either, as it flies by too fast. That said, it always amazes me that they appreciate my small efforts nonetheless. Maybe it's because I pronounce things funny, I don't know. But I do make my wife laugh when I try and read her Visayan & Tagalog text messages to her.
I think in terms of English pronunciation and their native language/s and dialects, we're very different phoenetically. Even the alphabet and vowel sounds are different to a degree.

What's nice to me, is that even if you're clueless in terms of speaking their language, most folks there typically have decent command of English and communication isn't an issue for English speakers. I'd guess they're also better than most Americans in understanding Spanish, Dutch, German and other languages. In some parts of the Philippines, the dialect/language pretty closely resembles Spanish

Here's some common Cebuan phrases, although there's some variance as to region:

http://www.omniglot.com/language/phrases/cebuano.php

Here's some common Tagolog: http://www.linguanaut.com/english_tagalog.htm

There's a lot of stuff on-line. Your English, even 'slang' English is excellent I think and if you're 'into' learning other languages/dialects, great--but I wouldn't sweat it. I have seen it written that with over 90 million people who speak English to some degree (It's used a lot in the schools), that the Philippines is the third largest nation of English speakers on earth. Too bad they can't attract more USA and UK companies to open operations there, but that's a whole different story!

[thekfc]

I hate to admit that other than knowing a very few words and phrases, I'm pretty much unable to speak either language/dialect, other than the most common words & phrases. I can't understand much either, as it flies by too fast.

You need to watch Bubble Gang more often..... ha ha

[kennumen]

I'm no expert--Ray has actually taken lessons I think, although it's probably in Tagalog--I bet he knows ALL kinds of words and phrases, lol, but Cebuano is basically same thing as Visayan and is probably what you should focus on, as I think you're primarily going to that region. I have heard around 29% of Filipinos speak Visayan, including my wife.
 
What's pretty cool about Visayan speakers is that they can typically understand and speak Tagalog, but someone who only speaks Tagolog can have a hard time understanding Visayan, or so I am told anyway. I've heard Portuguese has a similar advantage over Spanish.

A big reason of why I picked the Philippines for my first trip is because english is so wide-spread there. The main part is my comfort - I am quite an inexperienced traveller - but if I'm honest another benefit is not having to learn (yet another) language to visit a country, learn its culture and, with some luck, getting to know a woman. If it works out I would definitely at least get a grasp of the language - the last thing I need is kids with a language I can't understand. No secret code in my house! Although it might be fun to keep that a secret. You'd be amazed the things people blab about when they think nobody understands them. Surprise! There's more of your countrymen in Disney World :p In short, I hope to learn a few words of tagalog and visayan, but until I've committed to a woman doubt it will go beyond that. I'm not that good at languages and have a bad memory so - if I can have a meaningful discussion in another language like English - not worth it for me at this point.
As far as the language relationship goes, I sort of get the reference. My dialect is jibberish to most anyone not from the region while we can understand pretty much all other dialects (and, of course, speak the official dialect understood by all). I'm also lucky to have two rather different point of views on pronunciation - but neither helps much with asian languages.
 

What's nice to me, is that even if you're clueless in terms of speaking their language, most folks there typically have decent command of English and communication isn't an issue for English speakers. I'd guess they're also better than most Americans in understanding Spanish, Dutch, German and other languages. In some parts of the Philippines, the dialect/language pretty closely resembles Spanish

From what I've heard, Tagalog is similar to Spanish while Visayan is closer to English. That actually played a small part in picking it as a destination (hey, with so many unknowns I had to decide with whatever little I knew). I'm hoping for English well enough to say watch movies without subtitles, I'm starting to think that might be slightly overreaching. Time will tell, only 9 weeks now

 

There's a lot of stuff on-line. Your English, even 'slang' English is excellent I think and if you're 'into' learning other languages/dialects, great--but I wouldn't sweat it. I have seen it written that with over 90 million people who speak English to some degree (It's used a lot in the schools), that the Philippines is the third largest nation of English speakers on earth. Too bad they can't attract more USA and UK companies to open operations there, but that's a whole different story!

Thanks for the links and the compliment. Of course English has quite a few advantages - tons of movies, games, online sources... All letting you learn without actually studying. I will certainly learn a few key words (hi, bye, and thank you, at the very least) and would like to learn more if I find a woman (by which time I'll know which language to dedicate my memory to). I might not become fluent but there's so many benefits I think it'd be worth it if I have the time and opportunity.
Also, Bubble Gang is pretty funny. I could really get into it once I learn some of the language

[kennumen]

So, 6 weeks since my last message, time for an update. FilipinoCupid and DIA were okay. For the first time in my life I feel I was born too late (I'm a tech guy so I generally wish I was born later). Maybe I'm imagining things but it seems I'm a victim of the twitter/facebook age. Perhaps they're just being polite but most of the girls that do reply, do so with one or two short sentences. Me, I'm more looking for long conversations. There is one girl who's cool but she's wide-eyed. I feel rather shallow writing this but if there's two things I look for - as far as physical attraction goes - it's straight, clear eyes and long hair. And I might look past not having long hair. She's cute and more importantly very interesting but a wandering eye would bug the hell out of me, for the rest of my life. Bugger.

Anyway, two months really were too short for me to fall in love. Regardless I haven't found anyone special. Perhaps a friend or two but - only partly so as not to create misunderstandings in these women or society - I've decided not to visit them. I'll spend a day in Cebu City, visit Bohol for up to a week, then the remainder back in Cebu City, perhaps touring a bit outside the city for a day trip or two (if the bike thing works out).
1) It seems almost mandatory to visit another island when visiting an island nation. Plus the ferry should be an experience. Bohol has some of the nicest beaches and a ferry leaves straight from Cebu City. I'll visit it during the first half of my stay so I'm back way in time for the flight home - not even sinking ferries could result in me missing my flight (unless I'm on one and fail to reach shore).
2) Hopefully I'll get a few lessons of motorcycling in, in these few weeks left before I leave. Motorcycles terrify me but it's a cheap and versatile way to get around the island(s) and meet some people not in the tourist business.
3) Thinking of maybe going the resort route on Bohol. But I heard I picked the high season so perhaps I'm already too late to book hotels...

I would like to book hotels up front (at the very least the night after I arrive and the night before I leave) so I'm taking any and all suggestions. Must have clean room, private toilet and shower. Airco is optional, warm water would be nice but also optional. Wifi would be a nice bonus to keep you (and the family) up-to-date. I'd like to get my reservations done this weekend, just two weeks before I leave.