The Long Distance Relationship

[JasonA]

This has probably been discussed before, but what are the keys to surviving the intermediate stage (long distance) part of the relationship? What are the pitfalls? How do you keep it fresh and from getting boring?

Another related topic, how long did you (or have you if current) do the long distance thing before starting the fiancé visa paperwork? Did you propose and give her the ring in her country or after she got to the US and decided that she wanted to stay here?

Thanks for the input.

[michaelb]

You don't need a ring (nice, but not legally necessary). You do need to propose to her before she comes to the US (unless she already has some other kind of visa)....in fact one of the requirements is that both of you have agreed to marry and she has to write a statement to to that effect. This written statement has to be filed as part of the documentation for the visa petition. Some people have been known to fudge on that and file the documentation anyway, while telling themselves "It's a 'test drive.'", but technically, those people are committing fraud.   

[Chris F]

This has probably been discussed before, but what are the keys to surviving the intermediate stage (long distance) part of the relationship? What are the pitfalls? How do you keep it fresh and from getting boring?

Another related topic, how long did you (or have you if current) do the long distance thing before starting the fiancé visa paperwork? Did you propose and give her the ring in her country or after she got to the US and decided that she wanted to stay here?

Thanks for the input.

In terms of "the keys to surviving the long distance stage"  it should be easy if you both know and understand these type of relationships and you both really care for each other.
How long you chose to court her in Peru depends on when both of you are ready for the next step. I courted my wife for over a year before getting married but I had the money to spend on the trips which is a deciding factor as well. For those on limited income or time off they have to roll the dice early and take a chance.

[mambocowboy]

This has probably been discussed before, but what are the keys to surviving the intermediate stage (long distance) part of the relationship? What are the pitfalls? How do you keep it fresh and from getting boring?

Another related topic, how long did you (or have you if current) do the long distance thing before starting the fiancé visa paperwork? Did you propose and give her the ring in her country or after she got to the US and decided that she wanted to stay here?

Thanks for the input.

I proposed and gave her the ring over there... "Or after she got to the US and decided to stay here." ?! Nothing personal man, but are you serious? If you or she have doubts about her wanting to stay here you probably shouldn't go through with this. You're bringing her here (and she's leaving alot behind) for MARRIAGE, not some trial period. Use the skype time to talk about everything so two know your life goals and plans are compatible before you both take this huge leap.

[JasonA]

Chill, Cowboy. Things are going well and starting to get more serious, but we aren't there yet. The reason that I ask about the ring issue is the dollar amount that is going to be put on her finger. I was burned once with an engagment ring, so maybe I'm a little bit sensitive on the subject (American chick, long story).  Besides, I am just getting feedback from guys that have been through this, so don't be so quick with the judgement.

[Kiltboy1]

Chill, Cowboy. Things are going well and starting to get more serious, but we aren't there yet. The reason that I ask about the ring issue is the dollar amount that is going to be put on her finger. I was burned once with an engagement ring, so maybe I'm a little bit sensitive on the subject (American chick, long story).  Besides, I am just getting feedback from guys that have been through this, so don't be so quick with the judgement.

In general Latinas are practical people and a ring is just not too important. My wife considered it a waste of money and we took the money we could spend on a ring and buy real estate in Ecuador. More important is the commitment together.I proposed after 6 months but my visa took 18 months so I had plenty of time to back out if it was not going well.We were married 5 years this past March.

KB

[Bob_S]

In all likelihood, a ring purchased there will be far cheaper than a ring purchased here.  Let her pick something out from a jewelry store there.  She'll be frugal by our standards and show you her practical side.  You'll max out at, what, a few hundred bucks?  Whereas if you take her to a shop here, you'll get pressured (by the sales clerk, by her new "friends" trying to size you up) into the meaningless but pricy 3 months salary thing.

[mambocowboy]

Chill, Cowboy. Things are going well and starting to get more serious, but we aren't there yet. The reason that I ask about the ring issue is the dollar amount that is going to be put on her finger. I was burned once with an engagment ring, so maybe I'm a little bit sensitive on the subject (American chick, long story).  Besides, I am just getting feedback from guys that have been through this, so don't be so quick with the judgement.

Chill? I could care less buddy. I've been there and done that compared to you. Good luck.