Appreciate the response guys...
VM - Now I did not say anything about boundaries... really don't understand where you got that. Negotiation is the way of life. Communication is crucial.
Revealing your Achilles heal is foolish. That is communicating the wrong thing.
VM - hopeless romantics are easy crash and burn victims. That's puppy talk. "I am gonna set her straight, kick her to the curb if she does not behave. blha blha.... then your kid has no access to both mom and dad? That is not confidence that is cockiness.
Its carelessness. Women and children can afford to be careless, not men. - Don Corleone
Look you are a father: you have to keep it together. To give your wife access to your Achilles heel is like Samson giving Delilah the scissors.
Hey - you do what you want... I am not your daddy. But I bet I have a lot more experience than you do so you may want to consider that being married does not mean bear your sould / soul mate crap... far from it. Marriage for the most part is a business agreement. really is. This is your role and you do this. This is my role and I do that. You remember this, and I remember that. Performance. Same as in all the business contracts I have ever reviewed, except you are in each other junk. Now that is where the women have the advantage, That is when they get their business partner to reveal the "trade secrets."
Sure, do the puppy love stuff and when that blows in your face remember the practical realistic advice old AC gave you. Hope I am wrong about it, but I am sure I am right.
You never reveal your position to the opposition before you strike. Its arrogance and carlessness to weaken yourself to the opponent especially when children are involved. And listen up VM because this I can guarantee, one day, maybe for 30 minutes or maybe for the rest of your life your wife will become your opponent.
That macho bluff stuff. Again that is not what I speak of when I say own the room. If you have confidence... in your self... you don't need to bear your soul to a woman... or to anybody. If you are getting married to bare your soul to someone then you are getting married for the wrong reasons.
This is why I like a lot of what you write but question your maturity.
There is a big difference between intellectually grasping a concept and emotionally accepting it. Practice vs theory.
FT
I like how you guide your ship. So drop me an email to keep in touch
cr4me1234@yahoo.com - you too VM. You got a lot to learn but your heart is in the right place and you got a lot of potential. just don't trip over your romantic fantasies and you will be Ok - jajajaja (its all just my crap remember?).
Any ways
"My thought is I want to tell my wife what I really want and if that results in her telling me what she really wants that is ok with me. There is no problem with a little negotiation here and there, just so long as the wants are not out of line on both ends. Maybe I misunderstand and you agree with that point or maybe not....What say you?"[/size][/size]What you really want and telling her so is an art. The mundane things you don't care about reveal them to her of course. But when you let a woman know what can really hurt you... you are asking for trouble. You just gave her a big weapon.[/size][/size]Bear your soul to me Sampson...[/size][/size]Its called strategy boys. Everyone uses it. Many times those that prevail have the best ones.[/size][/size]Don't forget they are women. They do not think like us. That is the most we will ever know about them and how they think. The only thing we KNOW about women for sure is: they are not men. Nothing more.[/size]You can assume[/size]have your opinions[/size]think you "know"[/size]but you and me, "we" don't know. Period.[/size]You would have to have that biological make up - those same chemicals in you body. [/size]Its a physiological impossibility to think like a woman. When you can think like one, you will know one.[/size]
Remember the illustration I used about the Chess game. The queen is the most powerful piece on the board, but the game revolves around the king. Because it is the king that represent the player moving the Chess pieces. The strategist...[/font]
Careful is as careful does . And that's all I have to say about that Forest...[/font]
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