Still can't pull the trigger

[Stevieboy]

Hello all,

I was a member a few years back and read many stories good and bad. I'm still single and still disappointed with American women. And I mean all cultures. My ex/child's mother was hispanic as myself, yet liberal as hell. I feel it necessary to disclose that she also has a masters degree in psychology,  yada yada. She's also catholic, but she defines morals and values as she sees fit. This dilemma keeps me from "pulling the trigger" to doing the Colombia Wife thing. If a mexican/american woman has lost her virtues, what's to say a Colombian woman won't once she's "westernized"?

I'm not looking for some submissive pet, just a woman who doesn't feel something like cooking for her man is a step back for woman's lib, or that men and women are equal in every way. Hell, these days cooking and cleaning is what a man does on a daily basis now. I can count on one hand how many times a woman actually cooked me a meal without a debt to repay the gesture.

I speak spanish fairly well. I am a small business owner. I only have one child. People say I look younger than 41, and I'm pretty well rounded emotionally and psychologically. Another year goes by, and I'm still disappointed by American women, and I still don't pull the trigger and take the chance and try the "Tour". BTW, one major part of the hindrance is the cost. If I start with $2k just for the 3 day trip, should I have another $3K in reserve for future communications if I find the right girl? My post is probably boring and redundant, but i thought I'd take a chance for enlightenment.   

[V_Man]

Welcome!
You concerns are the same as every guy starting out.
"I'm not looking for some submissive pet..."
Actaully I've never met a man who is. Certainly not something Latinas are known for anyway. Ignore the feminist BS mate. We understand exactly were you are coming from.

What you need is some other experience so you have more to use as a comparision. Hence look at the whole thing as gaining some experience.

1. There are other countries in South America.
2. Colombians in general have a complex relationship with morals. But hey, doesn't everyone? The good thing is that because there are so many available women you have more to search through to find one with the morals you want.
3. If you added up how much money you spend dating and trying to attract an American woman in a year, you would start to see a couple of trips to Colombia as a bargin.
4. Step by step. Plan a single trip to check everything out and date some women. Then you can reflect and think about what is worth how much after your first trip.

With your spanish and respectful attitude you will attract women like bees to honey in Colombia. Hence be very clear in your own mind what you are looking for and stick to it.

I think you just need to do it without worrying excessively about everything that COULD happen.

My 2c.

[Stevieboy]

VMAn_ ,

Thanks for the reply. My small business doesn't afford me six figures in this economy, but maybe If I take the trip anyway as a sort of vacation for myself, then I'm still winning. About your analogy of spending  money on dates, well, I don't even go on dates much anymore. I live in Austin Tx. This is the liberal capital of Texas, and all the feminists are here. It's a clean, low crime city with a better economy, but for a conservative guy like me, it's lonelyville. Don't get me wrong, I'm an old school rocker, even a stoner at times, but I've been grown up for a while now. The chicks here act like dudes....and I don't like dudes. It gets very depressing. I sometimes want to move to San Antonio where people are more conservative, but my daughter lives here, and the hispanic girls over there are all fat with multiple kids. Yuk!

One reason I think finding love abroad is is the only answer left is because in a selfish way, she hasn't much room now to deceive or take advantage of me since she's the out of towner in my land.   

I've gone to latin-wife.com and browsed several of the profiles. And, I noticed many people here feel the same way I do;  I tend to skip the girls younger than 24 (even though the young one's are nice to look at), and also skip the girls who are professionals, like the engineers, or doctors. Why would I want that? I'll take a woman who can wash my clothes on a rock any day over some educated big mouth. If that's the case, I'll just cut my nuts and hook up with my master here. My favorite profiles are the women who are beauticians. The have a little of everything I like.

BTW, is there a link or calendar somewhere for the next Tour dates?

P.S Why do I have to constantly enter verification letters and answer math quiestions after every post?       

[whitey]

Welcome!
You concerns are the same as every guy starting out.
"I'm not looking for some submissive pet..."
Actaully I've never met a man who is. Certainly not something Latinas are known for anyway. Ignore the feminist BS mate. We understand exactly were you are coming from.

What you need is some other experience so you have more to use as a comparision. Hence look at the whole thing as gaining some experience.

1. There are other countries in South America.
2. Colombians in general have a complex relationship with morals. But hey, doesn't everyone? The good thing is that because there are so many available women you have more to search through to find one with the morals you want.
3. If you added up how much money you spend dating and trying to attract an American woman in a year, you would start to see a couple of trips to Colombia as a bargin.
4. Step by step. Plan a single trip to check everything out and date some women. Then you can reflect and think about what is worth how much after your first trip.

With your spanish and respectful attitude you will attract women like bees to honey in Colombia. Hence be very clear in your own mind what you are looking for and stick to it.

I think you just need to do it without worrying excessively about everything that COULD happen.

My 2c.

Welcome Stevieboy.  Lot's of good advice from V_man as usual. 


For me, point 4 is the most important.  Why not just take a vacation to Colombia first and get your feet wet?  Chat up some women online, and go see them with no expectations other than getting to know the country, the culture, how the women act and think, having a good time away from work. 


This is not a chore to be completed as quickly as possible ... it should be fun, fun, fun!  I've many of the best times of my life in Colombia, getting to know my wife and her family, friends, culture ...

[utopiacowboy]

Welcome Stevieboy.  Lot's of good advice from V_man as usual. 


For me, point 4 is the most important.  Why not just take a vacation to Colombia first and get your feet wet?  Chat up some women online, and go see them with no expectations other than getting to know the country, the culture, how the women act and think, having a good time away from work. 


This is not a chore to be completed as quickly as possible ... it should be fun, fun, fun!  I've many of the best times of my life in Colombia, getting to know my wife and her family, friends, culture ...

Very good advice from Whitey, a man who knows.

[Jeff S]

Hi Stevie and welcome. Gotta add a big +1 to V-man's and Whitey's suggestions. Nothing like showing up with few or no expectations except to see what it's like, see if you like the people, the food, and to enjoy yourself. You'll get a chance to see how the women interact with you and what it's actually like - not just reading supposedly non-fictional but possibly fictional stories of others.


Those who head out with a specific plan and budget are often disappointed. Have the plan to have a good time and see if its for you, and budget yourself for a vacation. What comes later, comes later. You'll for sure get to understand what we're always talking about - the difference between AW and women in the real world.

[Stevieboy]

Let me give this scenario and question again in case my post wasn't completely read: 

My ex wife and mother of my child is hispanic (American born) as me. She's employed by, and masters degree form the University. Even though she's hispanic and raised with traditional values, her "strong independent woman" and liberal ideals were always a conflict in our relationship.

As an example, I once raked all the leaves in large piles in our back yard. She recommended we simply burn the piles, which of course was ludicrous and dangerous. Even after I explained to her the risk of burning our own house down from floating flaming leaves, let alone a neighbor's, she waited till I was taking a nap to sneak the gas can out the garage and light one of the piles. I thought I was dreaming the commotion and sounds of running, slamming doors, and the water hose running outside. When I woke up and looked out the kitchen window, I noticed the back porch was all wet. She covered up all the evidence of the potential tragedy she averted, but forgot and left the gas outside. That's when I put it together. I couldn't believe that even after I told her and explained the dangers to a college educated thirty something woman, that her feminism was gonna show this stupid cave man that a woman knows best. Anything I can do she can do better?

So my question is. Is feminism worldly rampant, that if a hispanic American woman can be a feminazi, why couldn't a Colombian become the same?

[JaxPaul24]

 Stevieboy welcome to the forum. Excellent advice from V-Man and Whitey who are two of the better guys on this forum. However....in your case I have to disagree with just getting on the plane and going just to get your feet wet. That is usually the best advice one can get from this forum, just get on the darn plane, get over there and chances are the guy won't regret it!
 
You already mentioned that cost could be a major hindrance and that's not surprising because not many of us guys have the luxury of vacation time/money to go down and just get our feet wet. Also, maybe it's just me but if you're going to Colombia for the first time and your solo you really need to use an agency. Whether it's Jaime in Barranquilla or Consuelo in Bogota you need someone you can trust at least somewhat. That's coming from someone who is retired Law Enforcement, lived abroad for many years and someone who has been to a few cities in Colombia two times in the last 15 months and I have never had any problems while there. Even so....Colombia can be a very dangerous country.
 
That being said.....if you plan ahead you will have a real good shot at being successful on your first attempt. Successful meaning that you find yourself a good "one" that you want to pursue further or you meet 2 or 3 that you get to know while you are there and stay in contact with while planning your next trip. Reason why I think you can be successful is because you are in the ideal age group (30-45) that tends to have the most success. Even more so is that you are Latino and you can speak Spanish.
 
You said 3 days? Not sure what you meant by 3 days but that is most definitely not enough time and isn't worth the expense. I would recommend at least 7 to 10 days minimum! 3 days??? HA.... your head will still be spinning after 3 days and that's a good thing! So plan, plan and plan but like others will say.... get that date set by getting those tickets bought! Get set up to use Jaime's Agency in Barranquilla. Jaime's is not cheap and but as of right now that's easily the best agency in Colombia! Then I would spend a few weeks prior to leaving chatting up some ladies on Colombian Cupid and/or Latin American Cupid to name a few. Bogota (Consuelo's Agency) is known for having more professional women and it sounds like that is definitely not what you want.
 
I myself have recently a dated a girl from Barranquilla and a girl from Medellin and in the past I lived with a Colombiana from Cali for 2 years while stationed in Italy. First time in Colombia I used an agency and it was great! I was a bit overwhelmed with the process but I had a great time. The second time I went with my best friend and we just had a great time partying and I met lots of women through his friends/family and met girls while out and about. Again I had a great time! But...... as far as trying to find that special one and truly being serious about the process then I would have to say that the agency was the best route and I will use one again this time on a more limited basis but none the less I will use one because I think it gives me the best chance at truly being successful. At least for now anyways....I have a 3 year old son that is my life so I can't just go down and stay for a few weeks at a time.
 
So just some advice/guidance for ya.  Also, I wouldn't be so quick to dismiss those women who have professional jobs because I think that can be a big plus.  Professional in Colombia doesn't neccessarily equate to "Professional" in the USA.  The few professional people I have met in Colombia would probably be considered poor or working class in the States.  Those professionals in Colombia that are making a good living in Colombia are more than likely not on any dating site such as Jaimes.  At the same time don't be so quick to think that "beautician" is a good thing.  From my experience most Colombian women that list beautician or model means that they are actually unemployed and don't have a lot going on....
 
Anyways....plan your trip man.... I'm positive you will not regret it!
 
JaxPaul Out...
 
 
 

[mambocowboy]

Let me give this scenario and question again in case my post wasn't completely read: 

My ex wife and mother of my child is hispanic (American born) as me. She's employed by, and masters degree form the University. Even though she's hispanic and raised with traditional values, her "strong independent woman" and liberal ideals were always a conflict in our relationship.

As an example, I once raked all the leaves in large piles in our back yard. She recommended we simply burn the piles, which of course was ludicrous and dangerous. Even after I explained to her the risk of burning our own house down from floating flaming leaves, let alone a neighbor's, she waited till I was taking a nap to sneak the gas can out the garage and light one of the piles. I thought I was dreaming the commotion and sounds of running, slamming doors, and the water hose running outside. When I woke up and looked out the kitchen window, I noticed the back porch was all wet. She covered up all the evidence of the potential tragedy she averted, but forgot and left the gas outside. That's when I put it together. I couldn't believe that even after I told her and explained the dangers to a college educated thirty something woman, that her feminism was gonna show this stupid cave man that a woman knows best. Anything I can do she can do better?

So my question is. Is feminism worldly rampant, that if a hispanic American woman can be a feminazi, why couldn't a Colombian become the same?

If you establish yourself as the leader within the relationship and find a feminine woman, of whom there are many more in South America than in the US, you'll be fine...

[Bob_S]

P.S Why do I have to constantly enter verification letters and answer math quiestions after every post?

Newbie security requirements to prove you're not a spam-bot.  They go away after a while and a few more posts.

+1 again for V-man's advice.  You're not on any schedule here.  It's not like you're going to shrivel up and die if you don't get married this year.  You got lots of time.  So you can't afford multiple trips this year.  Take just one trip.  Get a feel for it.  The non-westernized women will open your eyes and spoil you.  My first misadventure was years spent pursuing Russian girls.  And even though it eventually blew up in my face (and in the end I went with my heart and turned to the Far East), it still convinced me that I could never consider dating domestic ever again.  No scrot-shredding feminist nonsense south of the Rio or east of the Danube. 

[Jeff S]

So my question is. Is feminism worldly rampant, that if a hispanic American woman can be a feminazi, why couldn't a Colombian become the same?

Of course she could be.


Your job, should you wish to accept it, is to find one who won't be - irrespective if you're looking in Colombia, Ghana, Cambodia, or in downtown Chicago. After you find here, you also have to treat her the way that she doesn't seem to need or really want to have to step up and be the alpha male in the relationship.

[Stevieboy]

I say 3 days because I'm interested in the LatinWife or TLC tour (3 days), and assume to stay another 10 days. Yes, I definitely will be going with support from an agency. I even thought of using the services of the translator in the beginning, because even though I speak spainsh pretty good, I know that once I start speaking spanish to fluent persons from their native country, they tend to kick it into high gear and talk fast and then lose me. So, I want to get a feel for their language first to build confidence. I even thought of not disclosing my spanish speaking ability in the beginning in case i catch a girl lying during interviews. But then I though I might also insult them and cause distrust in me, so you're advice would help here.   
_
 
I've heard mention several times of "Jaime". It appears he's got a good reputation, so I might consult him. Hey, I'm not wealthy (yet), but I totally believe in "if your gonna do it, do it right". So I won't be trying to skimp or find the cheapest route to this highly risky adventure. I mean really...I might be a grown man who's pretty street smart and can handle myself, BUT PLEASE,  to go to a 3rd world country riddled with crime and drug lords, 4 thousand miles away, land in an strange airport, take a cab to a strange hotel and meet strange girls with fathers, brothers, and possibly violent jealous ex boyfriends all by myself? No way. I'd be safer performing felacio to a Detroit hooker at the end of her shift.
_

I've also ready many of yall's posts, which are balls on helpful and inspiring to go for it.
.
.
It appears I might be able to afford it by the fall. I assume to go then, so it's not so hot. Do you guys know the best months to go?
It's funny how I always go back to the "Colombia bride" idea after a night out at a bar.
 
           
 
 

[Stevieboy]

Of course she could be.


Your job, should you wish to accept it, is to find one who won't be - irrespective if you're looking in Colombia, Ghana, Cambodia, or in downtown Chicago. After you find here, you also have to treat her the way that she doesn't seem to need or really want to have to step up and be the alpha male in the relationship.

So then, why not just stay here? I'm assuming because the chances there are grater than here, right? 
 
Hey, I just thought of something. Does anyone use skype to keep in touch? 

[V_Man]

Stevie!

What it comes down to Stevie, is, are you going to take the blue pill or are you going to take the red pill?

If you take the red pill Stevie, forget about tours and all that.
You have Spanish! Use it!

Look Stevie, why not learn about the culture?
Ever played sapo?
Ever played tejo?
Ever danced bachata?
Ever listened to vallenato?
Ever eaten tamales, chunchullo or rellena?
Which is your favourite; lulo, curuba, mamoncillo, uchuva, chontaduro, borojó, zapote, anon, carambolo or corozo?

Why not let pretty women introduce you to all these things y mucho mas?

Take the red pill Stevie!
The red pill!

 

[V_Man]

"Let me tell you why you're here.
You're here because you know something.
What you know, you can't explain.
But you feel it.
You felt it your entire life.
There is something wrong with the world.
You don't know what it is.
But it's there.
Like a splinter in your mind driving you mad.
It is this feeling that has brought you to me.
Do you know what I'm talking about?"

"The matrix?"

"Unfortunately no one can be TOLD what the matrix is.
You have to see it for yourself."

"After this there is no turning back.
You take the blue pill.... you wake up in your bed and believe whatever you want to believe.
You take the red pill.....you stay in wonderland and I show you how deep the rabbit hole goes.

Remember.....
All I am offering is the truth - nothing more."

http://youtu.be/te6qG4yn-Ps

 

[Jeff S]

So then, why not just stay here? I'm assuming because the chances there are grater than here, right? 
 

This is not a game of chance. It's a game of skill - and you need to develop the skills. If you try to do it in a fixed amount of time on a tight budget using shortcuts like interpreters doing interviews, you'll be just another a willing sheep to be sheared. Like v-man says if you take the red pill, you're all in, to see how deep the rabbit hole goes.


I don't mean to sound negative, but this is not for the faint at heart, nor of those willing to dabble. It takes commitment - not necessarily wealth, or a lot of time, but a lot of focus and willingness to learn, make mistakes, correct them and persist. You're not buying a car or hiring an employee.


The risks are higher but so are the rewards.


I use skype all over the world to stay in touch with home when I'm traveling and to stay in touch with others from home. Works great.

[aconcepts]

"I'll take a woman who can wash my clothes on a rock any day over some educated big mouth."


Look up my posts, read my crap. You'll love it.


Just go down there and own the room.


Life is too short to procrastinate.


I know guys who come here every 3 or 4 months and hang for a long week and get satisfied and then return to masturbation land.CR may be a good place for you to start yiur adventure.


Jeff is right,


Its a lifestyle so to speak.


For me I have made the lifestyle my life.


I am pretty much an old man I turn down opportunities my friends back home would give their left nut for.


I ain;t that old, When I tell the Ticas, hey what do you want with an old man like me - they laugh and say seriously "you are not old."


back in the US I would have to buy a Ferrari and make a full time occupation to get the same women and it would not be as fun.


Come on down and get you feet (?) wet. You will have a better attitude dispues.

[Stevieboy]

What is shotrcut about using interpreters that come with the latin tour package? If she can mediate the interviews and explain the culture to me, I see that as a tool. So, don't use Jaime's services and go at it on the fly? Maybe there's some misunderstanding.

Nothing wrong with using interpreters. I was referring to the concept all inclusive 7 day tour complete with interpreters and interviews guaranteed to find you the girl of your dreams on your vacation for $X,XXX (or whatever the specs are.) It's a fantasy. You don't interview 24 girls, pick the best of the bunch and live happily ever after. The vast majority of the candidates you interview will not be wife material for you, though they'll all tell you they are during the interview.  Some guys spend years and dozens of trips, others do it in a trip or two - some use agencies, some use online dating sites, but probably more end up meeting their special ladies the hard way - introduced by friends, by accident, or by going through lots and lots of the wrong ones over time. There's really no formula here.


I'm not trying to discourage you, just open your eyes to the reality of the process. I'm sure you've spent some time in the archives reading other guys stories. Many are too embarrassed to post their failures, but enough are, to give you a more complete picture than reading the hype on agency sites. Everything from ladyboys to scammers to those who brought them to the US only to send them back, to those whose "soulmates" claimed spousal abuse and bolted as soon as the green card arrived. That said, there are plenty here, like most of the long term posters, who pulled it off and are living the dream. Just hoping you're one of the latter instead of former.

 

[Researcher]

     "The first rule of Wife Hunters Club is don't talk about Wife Hunters Club"....not sure what I meant by that I'm just sticking with the movie theme...

     Nah, what I meant was you realize there has to be more to life so like the guys in Fight Club you look for changes that involve getting back to a primal side. That's the place I came to anyway and realized getting out of the US was a way of doing that. If you can do it try making international dating part of your lifestyle. That is what I did. I used my resources to travel, meet women and develop relationships with them. Pick a culture, learn the language and go for it. You sound like the kind of guy that can make it happen.


       Researcher

[Cam]

To the OP, my male friends and I agreed long ago: Do not date psychologists! They come from messed up families, and go into psychology thinking "After I fix myself, I will help others".    I'll spare the long story of a friend that broke this rule. Even her own family agrees she's nuts - they're just glad she met a decent guy, haha
 
Anyway, it's not as if U.S. matchmakers have a decent reputation either. Plenty of articles about how they take a fat fee after some HARD SELL about how "This is the best decision you could ever make". They'll tell men or women whatever they want to hear, to get that membership... At least with foreign agencies, (the reputable ones) you can actually meet some cute girls, even if the results are hit or miss.
 
 

[aconcepts]

Its hard for me to understand the urgency of this all. I mean you all talk about the path as if it is work. Man the path is where its at. Have fun and live, If you meet her great, if not why stress. Its so gringoesque. Gotta get results right now... Gotta be married... etc, etc. The goal thing gets in the way of living in the moment.

[JaxPaul24]

Did I miss something?  Is someone replying to Stevieboy using Stevieboy's handle? 
 

Nothing wrong with using interpreters. I was referring to the concept all inclusive 7 day tour complete with interpreters and interviews guaranteed to find you the girl of your dreams on your vacation for $X,XXX (or whatever the specs are.) It's a fantasy. You don't interview 24 girls, pick the best of the bunch and live happily ever after. The vast majority of the candidates you interview will not be wife material for you, though they'll all tell you they are during the interview.  Some guys spend years and dozens of trips, others do it in a trip or two - some use agencies, some use online dating sites, but probably more end up meeting their special ladies the hard way - introduced by friends, by accident, or by going through lots and lots of the wrong ones over time. There's really no formula here.


I'm not trying to discourage you, just open your eyes to the reality of the process. I'm sure you've spent some time in the archives reading other guys stories. Many are too embarrassed to post their failures, but enough are, to give you a more complete picture than reading the hype on agency sites. Everything from ladyboys to scammers to those who brought them to the US only to send them back, to those whose "soulmates" claimed spousal abuse and bolted as soon as the green card arrived. That said, there are plenty here, like most of the long term posters, who pulled it off and are living the dream. Just hoping you're one of the latter instead of former.

[benjio]

Did I miss something?  Is someone replying to Stevieboy using Stevieboy's handle?

Yeah, that's really weird.

[braziliangirl]

Last Edit: Yesterday at 10:23:16 PM by Jeff S

And it does "sound" like Jeff. Maybe it was just some moderation error.

[Stevieboy]

The person who posted with my username used a quote from a quote i copied from one of his replies to this thread, however, that reply also seems to be missing. I can't find that quote anywhere. Yes, it is weird. OK, so looks like people are reading.