They are there

[V_Man]

I know there are many lurkers here.
I absolutely refuse to discuss any details about my bedroom activities.
However I know there are guys out there wondering about all the bad press Colombianas get.

Hence I just want to reassure guys that there are hard working Colombianas with good values looking for a genuine long term love that are also absolute FIRE in the love making department.

They do exist. They are online. They are real, genuine, good, decent women. Did I mention sexy?

So if you are feeling discouraged by all the bad news stories, warnings, etc. about Colombianas then this is the thread for you. Please keep in mind it is a diverse country with a lot of people. It takes all types. There are lots of really great ones too.

Good luck!

[Alabamaboy!]

The thing for a new guy to realize is that there is an enormous number of available women in Colombia. There is not much motivation for a guy to marry a woman there. They all have their cake and eat it too. So the number of women that are married is not very high. And many women claim that they are in a relationship, but in reality those relationships are not what you might expect. It seems that the guy is also in a "relationship" with several other women at the same time. And the women kind of know it. So if they can meet a good guy who will treat them right, they seem to be very eager to move on to a better guy and a better life.

Because there is such a high percentage of "available" women there, it makes it worth while to pursue the dream IMO because you only need one. And even if there seems to be a lot of incompatible women there, there are many, many others standing right behind those who are willing to take a chance with a good guy. So the sheer numbers are there.

I think a guy who used to post here, Papi, frequently used to say "it's a numbers game". And I wholeheartedly believe in that. If you think you are going to come down, meet a girl, and hit a homerun, you may be in for a harsh ride. But if you have the time, energy, and $ to invest in the process, it can work out in the end.

I do think that Jamie's place gives newbies the best opportunity to get their feet wet and to see what is out there and to open guy's minds to the possibilities...for the good and bad.

[mudd]

they are everywhere also, mexico, brazil. peru, ecuador, dominican republic ect. not just colombia and may other countries are safer than colombia.


too bad, its next to impossible to find one in the USA under 150 lbs hahahah

[Alabamaboy!]

I am not sure about the other places, but I live near the border of Mexico and almost all my employees, friends, acquaintances are Mexican, and almost all of the women are married or in common law type relationships at a very early age. Here and in the Mexican cities along the border.  Not too many good looking, single, good wife material women around here. Because of this, I began to look internationally. Things may be different in cities on the interior, but I don't think so. I have employees who have family in other cities such as Guanajuato, Hermosillo, and some in Sinaloa, and they all tell the same type of stories where their sister or whoever is married to a guy from there at an early age, they have a couple kids, and the woman just puts up with the guy for all these years for the sake of keeping the family together. I know a few that are in good relationships (not many) and those also began when the woman was pretty young and thus "off the market" at an early age.

I thought that Brazil would be a good place to go but too far, too expensive, and more of a language barrier for most guys. Have not heard hardly any good relationships coming from DR. Peru and Ecuador seem to be very good but for some reason guys seem to gravitate more toward the look of the Colombianas.

[mudd]

Have not heard hardly any good relationships coming from DR. Peru and Ecuador seem to be very good but for some reason guys seem to gravitate more toward the look of the Colombianas.

i can tell you exactly why, had this discussion with many guys who have been all over central and south america. because colombianas are easier and not as reserved as the others. sometimes its good thing, sometimes its bad thing..

[benjio]

they are everywhere also, mexico, brazil. peru, ecuador, dominican republic ect. not just colombia and may other countries are safer than colombia.


too bad, its next to impossible to find one in the USA under 150 lbs hahahah

I know you're just joking Mudd, but plenty of great girls in the U.S. under 150 lbs. For one reason or another they just aren't the preference of most men that eventually choose to search overseas or the guy that's doing the searching doesn't have a chance in hell with any of them.
 
I myself prefer a wife and mother over a business partner. I make more than enough money to support a family on my income alone and I place very high importance on a family having a fulltime caregiver at home. So I have never had any interest in dating a woman that wants to have a career. Still, there are plenty of very attractive career women in the United States that would make great wives and mothers. I know dozens. Although it's a lot less common, you'll even find those willing to quit their jobs and become fulltime housewives. Just like you'll find a lot of eligible Colombian Women that would rather be career women...especially in Bogota.
 
I've said it before and I'll say it again: If women in Latin America were mostly ugly, and men from the United States were mostly poor, we wouldn't even be having this conversation. Let's just call this what it is: Mostly average men looking for women that are well above average on the hotness scale. And hot women looking for men that can take better care of them than those that are locally available. Ever wonder why there's no market for marriage agencies in countries where women can make a living comparable to that of men? But you know what guys and gals...There's absolutely nothing wrong with that!!!
 
When you see famous male athletes or celebrities in the United States they almost always have a gorgeous woman on their arm. These women are most often from the United States, not from other countries. These guys are able to date women on that level for a variety of reasons. Some women just love the attention that comes along with dating a famous man. Some are gold-diggers. Others are looking to enhance their own careers in their respective industries. I think the least common reason is they only date the best looking guys out there, because we all know there's some ugly a$$ famous men in America. IMHO it's usually because these men have the potential to be the best providers and caretakers. Very seldom are these marriages based on true love and compatibility (at least on the woman's part). Beautiful Women have their choice of almost any man, and most want to be with men that can give them everything they've ever wanted and needed. This is more than a conscious decision. At some levels human nature is at play here. Just like men being attracted to women with larger breast because evolution has taught us they are more fertile; women are attracted to men who can take the best care of them. Same reason most women are attracted to taller and more muscular men. It has very little to do with appearance and much more to do with the fact that evolution has taught them these men can protect them better than a man that's smaller. What has always tripped me out about these guys is they must never tell themselves, "If I wasn't rich and famous, I wouldn't have a chance in hell with this girl." As soon as they lose all their money, the women are usually out the door as well. Any hint of an irreconcilable difference, and divorce papers are soon to follow. The lack of true love is usually apparent as soon as there's some interruption in the original "Provider Husband/Housewive" gender roles.
 
There lies the problem with a lot of gringos in Colombia. It's not that there's not good women. There's a ton of them. More than you could ever date in an entire lifetime. It's that guys don't ask themselves, "If I wasn't a gringo this Colombiana is perceiving as a better provider, would she have given me a second look?" IMHO, one of the number one reasons guys fail in Colombia is because as soon as they realize they can date the most attractive women they've ever been able to, this becomes the primary criteria for how they choose which women to date. It's not enough that most of the women are more attractive compared to the average American Woman. Most guys chase after the prettiest girls that show them attention. As men, we're visual creatures. It's in our nature. This is why a lot of guys end up dating prepagos and interesadas. And even if an exceptionally beautiful Colombiana is sincere, that beauty queen might not turn out to be the best wife and/or mother. But who's to blame? Those aren't the characteristics you based your decision on.
 
I'll give all newbies some advice one of the veterans from Gringos gave me. I had the honor of spending a few days in Colombia with this gentleman and he taught me so much I can never thank him enough:
 
"Enjoy the view, but take in the scenery...take it ALL in." -TheFamousWingMan

[bcc_1_2]

Are there really that many women under 150lbs out there? Maybe in Los Angeles or something... sure big cities like Chicago and others. I've seen a recently graduating class of 18 year olds and the women were pretty damn big in many cases. Plenty of fake baked, fake blonde, 20 lbs overweight women in bars around the Midwest that get way too much attention in my personal opinion. This becomes obvious when you do leave the country for Europe, Latin America, or Asia.
When most Americans visit their physican they discover they do not fit with-in the normal weight range in comparison to their height. Unless a 6'0 ft male is a gym rat hitting the weights really hard he should weigh less than 178lbs. If you look at the average 5'4 woman in the USA she is not meeting the standards of her physican.

[aconcepts]

If I wasn't a gringo this Colombiana is perceiving as a better provider, would she have given me a second look?" IMHO, one of the number one reasons guys fail in Colombia is because as soon as they realize they can date the most attractive women they've ever been able to, this becomes the primary criteria for how they choose which women to date. It's not enough that most of the women are more attractive compared to the average American Woman. Most guys chase after the prettiest girls that show them attention. As men, we're visual creatures. It's in our nature. This is why a lot of guys end up dating prepagos and interesadas. And even if an exceptionally beautiful Colombiana is sincere, that beauty queen might not turn out to be the best wife and/or mother. But who's to blame? Those aren't the characteristics you based your decision on.
 
Benjio – I like you take on career women. Don’t want one either.
 
 
Don’t understand the above though.
 
So what is your point.
 
Do the women ever ask themselves “if I wasn’t a gorgeous Columbiana would this wealthy older American have given me a second look.”
 
I think feminist indoctrination that always makes the man the insecure one, the one who is always kicked in the groin in the sitcoms, is showing.
 
Women have about as much chance of understanding a man’s need for sex, as a man does understanding a woman’s need for a nest and what it’s like to have a period.
 
 
Advice to a newbie:
 
No need to humble yourself by asking if this woman would be attracted to you. She needs to ask herself why you are attracted to her. Keep you dignity. Don’t grovel.
 
The other thing a newbie needs to know is “If you think you are nothing without a woman - than you are nothing.” Don’t define yourself by your chick. Recipe for disaster. You become a slave.
 
A beautiful woman a couple decades younger than me and clearly out of my league said to me after I told her about the depth of her green eyes, ghostly soul, velvet skin and why she found me attractive (yes I told her why), said she was attracted to me by my confidence. Why, because I am myself no matter how beautiful they are. I don’t set out to amuse them. I set out to amuse myself.
 
Ask them a lot of question. Don’t easily buy into their answers as if what ever they say is good enough. Challenge them to explin themselves. No you are in the drivers seat. After you have briefly entered thei world, require them enter your world. Now reside there as much as possible. Make them play your game, if you can… not play theirs.
 
Don’t ever think a woman is going to be fair. There is nothing fair about relationships. Some one isin the drivers seat. Anybody who disagrees has the feminist indoctrination thing going. Command or be commanded. You choose. There is no “both ways.” Who do you want to be “Charlie or Alan” (Two and a Half Men)
 
Make sure you have had your fill of Latinas before you get serious. There are plenty and I have let adequate ones go by, probably dozens. But I am not an “adequate” type of guy. I like extraordinary and if I fall short then awesome does quite well.
 
Are you going to be a hat (filled with money and new opportunity ) in hand gringo, or are you going to play the dominant hand you have.
 
Do you know yourself?
 
Do you know what you want?
 
Are you in awe of women?
 
Do you know your position is dominant?
 
Or are you so desperate and grateful to have anything that you will walk on your lips through busted glass just to get next to her? Like I see so many gringos here in Costa Rica doing.
 
I don’t mind gringos coming here being swashbuckling womanizers, not at all – so are the Ticos. What ruins it for us (Ticos and a soon to be Tico) is the winey little grateful gringo happy for a scrap off the table. The puppy with watery eyes waiting to be pet and then put in its box.
 
Got nuts? If not buy some large unshelled walnuts and fake it the best you can. Then nature may rekindle your testosterone level to a point of command. Don’t come to Colombia to be timid, Do as the wingman suggests, or remember the young bull old bull joke?
 
Young bull and old bull standing together on the top of the hill.
Young bull to old bull: wow look at all dem cows down there!!!
Old bull: Yep
Young bull: Let’s run down there and do us a cow!
Old bull: Nope
Young bulls has a puzzled look.
Old bull: Lets WALK down there and do em all…
 
If you can have old bull confidence and a young bull body, well then the world is thine oyster.
 
Also, even if you triple wrap there is no such thing as safe sex with a woman. It’s an oxymoron.

[V_Man]

1. I have been to some other Latin Countries but I don't really know much about their women, which is the only reason I discussed only Colombianas. (not that I'm some sort of expert on Colombianas either).

2. I can only speak for myself. I never had much problem getting dates with attractive western women, before I went to Colombia. Hence I wasn't particularly blown away by the attractiveness of Colombian women myself. However I also have a sneaky suspicion that benjio is correct. I think many gringos are not very realistic. They go for some girl who would never date them in their own country and then wonder why they have problems. Becareful what you wish for because you may very well get it!!!

3. I didn't pursue the most attractive or youngest girls that were interested in me. Not even close. I looked closely at other things.

Anyway the volume of available women definately is a huge factor. Agreed.

Also being a Grnigo that can afford multiple trips to South America puts you way above most of the competition.

The point is that if you are genuine and realistic there are great women in that country. It's a lot of money, time and effort. I'm not sugar coating it. However there are real gems there. Given the volume of available women, it logically follows that there are a great many gems.

[fathertime]

 
 
 
Ask them a lot of question. Don’t easily buy into their answers as if what ever they say is good enough. Challenge them to explin themselves. No you are in the drivers seat. After you have briefly entered thei world, require them enter your world. Now reside there as much as possible. Make them play your game, if you can… not play theirs.
 
 

agree 4 square here...i can remember a couple ladies folding up their tents when the questioning led to a glaring contradiction in their story. 

 
Make sure you have had your fill of Latinas before you get serious. There are plenty and I have let adequate ones go by, probably dozens. But I am not an “adequate” type of guy. I like extraordinary and if I fall short then awesome does quite well.
 
 

   


I went into this thinking i would get together with the 1st or 2nd good looking lady that i encountered...it didn't work out that way and I'm thankful for that, because i needed to have a little more before I was ready.


Fathertime! 

 
No need to humble yourself by asking if this woman would be attracted to you. She needs to ask herself why you are attracted to her. Keep you dignity. Don’t grovel.
 
 

agree....if you just assume that you are attractive to the lady then you will be more attractive for the right lady...even if you aren't all that physically attractive.  i found that a woman can tell you that you look like shrek and still find you attractive enough to marry. 


Fathertime! 

[aconcepts]

“They go for some girl who would never date them in their own country and then wonder why they have problems.”
 
If they were going for girls that would date them in their country, then why would they leave their country? Would it not be easier to stay at home and save the time and money? The whole point of traveling to date is to date someone who would not date you in your country.
 
Also being a Grnigo that can afford multiple trips to South America puts you way above most of the competition.
 
So if you are “way above most of the competition” why limit yourself. Adelante con gusto!
 
Why underrate you value in that market.
 
Look I am in the B+ category, but developed an A+ self image.
 
When I fart in front of a woman I say “Que rica las rosas!” Yes I fart roses.
 
 
IE: I was with a friend and we walked into a dinner party. I asked, “Why are these people starring at us? She repleied, “they don’t know who you are, but they know you are somebody.”
 
That is farting roses.
 
Be somebody.
 
You don’t have to be brash and outwardly bold, but inwardly invincible.
 
Just be secure in who you are.
 
I am a man.
 
I am not a feminist version of a man. I am a man.
 
I am not Alan. I am Charlie.
 
Take your position. Man it. It’s yours, you own it. (= she is yours – you own her.)
 
Own the Room:
I have walked into rooms to negotiate for my clients. My opposition is elite Tico attorneys. I always have an associate attorney with me to translate if I need it. This has led me to be in a room with several owners. It gets very interesting and you learn a lot when you compete with confident men over who owns the room on any given day. I am not talking about getting what you want. I am talking about owning the room. When you talk, people listen.
 
Why do they listen?
 
Because you own the room.
 
Just because they listen does not mean you will prevail.
 
It does mean you get to the plate to take your best swings.
 
That’s how it is with women.
 
How many times have you not approached a woman and later regretted it.
 
That is because you didn’t own the room.
 
If you saw her in your house, you would say something to her, right? Nod you heads up and down.
 
Just because it’s your house does not mean you get your way with her. But you have a chance.
 
The world is my house. I own it. Why? Because I walk it. I am here. Simple. Confidence (there is a difference between confidence and cockiness, but that is a different subject entirely).
 
I own my moment. If you are (she is) in it. It’s not your moment. It’s my moment. It’s not even our moment. If I am less that an owner, I cheat myself. I give whomever else is in the room an advantage. If he owns his moment and I don’t own mine, than he will monopolize the moment. Now substitute she for he.
 
Women want to see that you own the room.
 
My kung fu teacher taught us this and it’s helped me to be free and well laid: you can take my life, but you cannot take my confidence.
 
Even if you beat me up in a fight, I know in my heart if I was you, I would have done a better job on myself.
 
Now reread that. That is confidence.
 
I have now paraphrased Jimmy H. Woo’s classic motto to mean: You can take my life but you can never take the confidence I have in my character.
 
We are genetically programmed to be ourselves. But we define ourselves by how we behave. Our genetics either support our behavior or work against us.
 
Depends how you choose to act. What behaviors you chose to develop. I call these your natural elements or power.
 
So determine what you do well and what your strong suite is, and play it. It’s your natural element of power.
 
We males share the ability to be men because we all have testosterone in common. Testosterone is a natural element or power.
 
Play it. Don’t buy into the feminist agenda that all men are animals (and therefore bad). We are animals and that is good! Just don’t uncage the animal at Sunday dinner, but when you fight to survive or fook, then the doors well open.
 
When I enter the room, the animal looks powerful men in the eyes. Lets see if either blink.
 
Women are powerful, especially beautiful women. You need to look them in the eye. If they smell desperation. You are sunk.
I looked Miss Costa Rica 2011 in the eyes. She did not give me her contact info because I am a handsome young stud. Johanna knew to give it because I was obviously someone. Although she did not know who.
If they see you are in awe, you are at a disadvantage.
Ditch the giddy or nervous laugh. Realize its serious business and they are formidable foes.
In my opinion, women and men can never really be friends like men share friendships. So don’t get confused, even if you wish it so.
If you want the advantage, own the room.
Ownership comes at a price. That price is practice. So don’t be afraid to fail. You will fail I guarantee it. That means you are just that closer to succeeding.
In an attempt to own the room you may bluff, and that seldom works, for long anyways. But that is OK. A lesson learned. You will come to know what works – for you. Then you use that.
 
Stay true to what you know works for you. Those behaviors soon define you. To yourself and to her. She sees that as strength and will both love it and hate it.
 
She will be enamored with it and that makes her feel week, vulnerable, so she will attack it.
 
If you confidence is such that she cannot take it, soon she will realize it’s no use to compete on your playing field. Then she will open up.
 
She will invite you to her playing field, one of which is the bed.
 
This is where it gets good; interesting.
 
This is her exercising her natural element of power. Lets se who owns whom now….
 
This is a test of your confidence.
 
So humbled by her beauty many are impotent.
 
It has happened to me when I was younger. A married home coming queen approached me at the store and said I want you. I said “me?” She said yes lets go to your house. I could not figure why if she was married and so beautiful, why me. No confidence. I voted myself off the island, and my performance followed.
 
So when she invites you in, you bring out the dreaded animal that the feminist say is bad-bad, and the same animal for which they yearn.
 
You can take that to the bank. I have spanked what many men would think to be the proper “oh no you can’t spank her” woman.
 
They all want a spanking in one way or the other. They want to feel feminine, that translates into they want you to be masculine. Dominating, protecting, in control, commanding. Period. Ya!
 
The spankor, not the spankee.
 
When you own the room. You own the room. You don’t think you own it. You own it in your heart.
 
Now own yourself like that.
 
Then go to Colombia, Costa Rica, Brazil or Chatsworth for all I care. Wherever you go, they may not know who you are but they will know you are somebody.
 
Now you are at the plate. Batter up!


Do what you need to do. There are no rules in love or war...

[Jeff S]

If they were going for girls that would date them in their country, then why would they leave their country? Would it not be easier to stay at home and save the time and money? The whole point of traveling to date is to date someone who would not date you in your country.

That's not the whole point for everyone - to somehow date better looking, younger, sexier, or whatever women than they can somehow get to go out with you at home. Some of us went to find women we consider a better fit for our personalities, desires, or lifestyles than we could find at home. Admittedly - that's what many seek, though.

[benjio]

That's not the whole point for everyone - to somehow date better looking, younger, sexier, or whatever women than they can somehow get to go out with you at home. Some of us went to find women we consider a better fit for our personalities, desires, or lifestyles than we could find at home. Admittedly - that's what many seek, though.

Great post Jeff!
 
The point of my previous rant was a man needs to know exactly which side of that fence he stands on. Some men with the intentions of looking for great wife material initially are sidetracked by the most beautiful women that have ever given them the time of day. There's absolutely nothing wrong with chasing beautiful women, but I think every man should honestly ask themselves what they expect to accomplish out of heading SOTB in the first place. We all eventually have to make some choices if we plan on getting married to a woman from Latin America. Most of the times the hottest girl that's interested in you and the one that is truly falling for you and will do her best to be a great wife and mother are two different women.

[aconcepts]

good point. Like you say you have to know what you want. That said, i have met good wife material in the US years ago. The problem was I did not consider them beautiful enough to keep my interest.

[V_Man]

Yes exactly Jeff and Benjio!

Aconcepts talks about women being attracted to confident men. This is undeniably true. OK great. Then what?
Look perhaps Aconcepts is correct, perhaps many guys don't even know the first thing about how to get a girl to go on a first date with them. Personally I doubt that is going to be a big problem for anyone that has the balls to get on a plane to Colombia. If that is your problem then use an agency to get dates.

Frankly from the little that I have seen far too many gringos suffer from having far too much misplaced confidence. The majority would do far better in Colombia by toning things down. Be more humble and observant.
I have just got back from South America. There was a gringo with a lady in an airport in Colombia. Her body language spoke volumes about this guy. He was so busy being "confident" she must have been wondering how much longer she could tolerate him. She didn't look happy and she never touched him or even shared his personal space the whole time.
Then my novia says to me: "See that guy"
Me: "Yes"
Novia: "Look at how he struts around"
Me: "Yes, that is eactly what I noticed as well."
Novia: "He wrote to me on Colombian Cupid."
Me: "Really!!!"
Novia: "Yes. He was really pushy. I wouldn't trust him. He wouldn't take no for an answer. Look at how he acts, as if he owns the room. Look how he is overcompensating for something. Look how rediculous he is."

From the very few guys I have seen there, if they did less projecting of confidence and more observation and careful listening, they'd get a lot further.

You must be physcially attracted to your future wife. Obviously.
Also if you are going to go to another country then you are unlikely to settle for one that is only average. Obviously.
However Jeff is spot on.

" Some of us went to find women we consider a better fit for our personalities, desires, or lifestyles than we could find at home."

For example I want a wife who is very affectionate. Well, compare most western women with Colombian women in terms in affection. You simply can't compare them. The western woman starts off a long way behind and falls further behind as things develop.

[fathertime]

good point. Like you say you have to know what you want. That said, i have met good wife material in the US years ago. The problem was I did not consider them beautiful enough to keep my interest.

That is a problem that I also had run across...I need to be highly motivated and have needed an initial high level of attraction to be captivated enough to take it to another level.  I've noticed that many guys don't feel that way though, it seems apparent by their willful choice in ladies.  If that works for these guys I say more power to them!  If I were like that, there probably would have not been as much motivation to travel abroad. 


Fathertime! 

[Jeff S]

Well, put-on confidence, all that strutting around, isn't confidence at all. In fact, it's exactly the opposite. A confident person is relaxed and takes things in-stride.

[aconcepts]

VM - you are mistaking confidence for cockiness, arrogance.
 
Confidence is an internal knowing.
 
Cockiness is an external show. It's usually a bluff.
 
Confidence is having no doubt in your abilities.
 
Cockiness is convincing yourself and others that you can do it.
 
Also VM I have lived, worked and been successful in Latin America for many years now.
 
I seen plenty of cocky gringos come and go, most that have come here to do business became millionaires. That is they came with two million dollars and left with one million!
 
The guy you are describing I have seen so many times. And that is not what I am talking about when I refer to confidence.
 
If that guy walked into an arbitration session or negotiation he would be alienated, ignored.
 
Owning the room is not an outward thing. It’s an inward thing.
 
It radiates competency, it does not shout control.
 
When you are confident, you get a voice because people relinquish the floor.
 
You don't get the floor because you are trying to grab it. If you sieze the floor in an outward display of might, no one wants to listen to you. You did not earn it. You took it.
 
Do you understand the difference?
 
In my post I related to cockiness as another subject / and I should have elaborated but I write fast (in a brainstorm/note style) and am long winded enough, so I perhaps mistakenly omitted it.
 
Also I did not imply that guys don't know how to go out on a first date.
 
Like Jeff said, this is Latin America, not back home. To use his analogy it’s the minors compared to the majors. You have to break in.
 
US women specialize in destroying a man’s confidence. Latin women look for confidence and admire it. Because they do not want to compete as men.
 
The female attorneys I know that are powerful and smart are still feminine. They could wax me in a meeting and when they leave, I would still open the door for them. Because they would wax me in a feminine way. They would prevail while respecting my masculinity. In turn, I would respect their femininity. Those days are over in the US. And “men” are to a large part very negligible by caving in to the feminist and sharing family leadership. Now men are marginalized. The sad thing is they accept it.
 
I have no desire to return to the States to see pansy men led around by the rings in their noses. Rings they themselves have happily inserted. My friends running around fulfilling the honey-do list like their very existence and worth depend on it.
 
Give me a frickin break. Those same men come here and contaminate the men and women here.
 
They have no idea of command. Their confidence in their manhood is broken.
 
You may not get it, but women say they like progressive metro males, and they do in the same way they like their gay friends. Like a novelty, a dancing elephant to show off to their girlfriends.
 
If you want to be you chicks entertainment and her source of pride because she can demonstrate to her girlfriends how she can command you like a dancing elephant - then I saw you need to sharpen your tusks! You are the powerful one, The organic, the original commander.
 
Many brutes come to Costa Rica and the Tico charisma and charm beats them almost every time.
 
What I am saying in a nutshell to newbies is you have to radiate masculinity. That does not mean having big muscles or strutting around. It means being willing to own up to your position as a leader. That means taking command.
 
Many guys want to share command with their woman. I think it is metromaleish.
 
I know one guy that said he is happy that his woman leads as it takes the pressure off him,
 
Pressure of being a man?
 
Porbracito. Typical modern male cry baby crap.
 
Feminist indoctrination.
 
If a man does not want to take ownership of command than he is in bed with the feminist. A subversive, a double agent. I personally can’t stand those types. So that means that I am tremendouslu unpopular with the pussy whips, metro males and gays, Aw, so what!
 
I am tremendously politically incorrect and loving it. Why? Not for the thrill, but because I am trying to help the few masculine brothers, the real men, to regain their rightful place of honor and command. It’s a lot easier to say nothing when some loud mouth chick goes off on a man in the street with her disrespectful crap in a way that would get her punched out if she was a he and said that. But most of you “men” say nothing. You don’t stand up to women or children.
 
Men used to be at the top of the food chain, now its women first, children next, then men. It’s the lifeboat syndrome, Well that used to be OK when women were honorable and feminine, but they aint (for the most part in the US). They have abandoned motherhood, stopped respecting their men, and basically donned the strap on. I admire none of that and I ain’t giving up my seat on the life boat to one of them. Children in the US have become narcissistic primadonnas. Let em float or swim. They don’t get my seat either. To get my seat on the lifeboat they have to earn it. Feminist indoctrination won’t get me to give it up. How about you?
 
Men are still at the top of the food chain here in Costa Rica and Colombia as well.
 
The question is are you less than “men” guys going to come here and make a mess of it as you have done in the US?
 
Hey, I don't know anything. I have opinions only. However, in my never to be humble opinion men have become wimpy.
 
I think sharing leadership role with your woman is a step in the direction of whimpydome.
 
There are leadership roles within each gender, so let’s not get confused. I am talking about the overall command of the family and couple.
 
Lead or be a woman. If you choose to be a woman than so be it. But after he (your chick) has dumped his women (you) don’t come down here and infect Latin America with you gender blur…
 
Those are my feelings.
 
Thus endith sermon…

[V_Man]

Jeff, that is exactly my view as well. Apparently plenty of gringos don't get that.

Aconcepts I understand your point. I guess I just don't find it relevant to me. However if you say you've seen lots of guys that need this pointed out to them then I believe you.

The thing is that the women are there. Are the men looking for them doing the "right" things? Do the men have the "right" attitude? I don't know. It's all been good for me so far.

One thing I can suggest is that the man searching really has to know himself before he starts. This has been repeated on here lots of times because it's such a huge factor.

Also guys, I believe it is better to have searched and experienced another world than to die not knowing. Read Woody's posts as an example.

[Woody]

Also guys, I believe it is better to have searched and experienced another world than to die not knowing. Read Woody's posts as an example.

Ok, curiosity has gotten the better of me. Which posts? I'm guessing you are referring to my statement that even if I blow $100k and don't find what I am looking for, it was still an amazing ride.

[aconcepts]

VM,
 
A lot of guys? Most guys.
 
The reason you do not see it is probably a matter of our age difference. The younger geeration of men as set the bar very low. Plus I don’t live in the US box anymore so the change is obvious to me.
 
I know what being a man used to mean. It was something of which to be proud.
 
My perspective (gained by the experience of teaching men confidence and character for many years) is that what I see now represents a dramatic shift in the male psyche. Of which I would guess you are a part. I am hardly the only one who observes this, documented by the books I have cited on my posts. From some of the guys that come here I can tell gender blur is reaching a tipping point and men as “men” will no longer exist in the US very soon.
 
I agree men must know themselves but what does that mean?
 
Know what they want?
 
Or know who they are?
 
You have to know who you are to know what you want – or you most likely will not be happy when you get it.
 
Knowing yourself means to me that you first choose what is important to you on a fundamental level. Family man versus bachelor / leader versus follower / honest versus dishonest / spiritual versus agnostic.
 
These choices are made on a deep level - as in convictions. To have a conviction means you are committed to it. Before making commitments, take your time to think it out well.
 
I make few commitments and fewer promises, but I keep almost all of them, even though they at times hurt. But that is part of my fundamental self definition.
 
To know yourself means making commitment to yourself. These should take time. Some of the commitments you are just sure of; they are natural/organic to you.
 
In kung fu it’s called a natural element of power.
 
Others you develop. You acquire them. Bring them from the outside. Accutrements.
 
Male gender roles used to be organic only a short time ago and maybe some (such as yourself) see them portrayed in old movies but I think most know less men that live traditional male leadership roles.
 
Why traditional gender roles important?
 
Now there are a million of small ways in which they matter. So let me not make a book out of it as I often will.
 
Simply put: they are primordial in child bearing and child raising. Procreation that creates balanced individuals.
 
Fundamentally tradition male roles are important to….. women.
 
That’s right. Women and children are being sabotaged by feminist and extreme progressives. It’s insidious.
 
Women don’t feel content unless they have a protector and provider. I am talking intuitively. Sure intellectually they understand that they can support themselves, buy a gun to protect themselves. Raise a family without a man.
 
However, that does not make then fulfilled on the deepest level. Look at all the Gloria Alred types. Look into their eyes (maybe because I have been trained to see into the heart of things I can note it, maybe you cannot), they are lacking.
 
On the outside, they have money and a partner, but look at a woman that has a strong man by her side and note the difference in attitude. Bam… she is complete, satisfied, fulfilled. You can even see it in teenage lovers. It’s organic and natural. Biological like Benjio says regarding physical attraction, height, hips, etc.
 
Know look at lesbian couples. They portray a certain superficial giddiness. A “look at us we are avant guard of our generation” title. However, the depth of feeling just is not there. They will always be less than whole because they cannot reproduce. Coupling at the heart is about reproduction. It’s primordial.
 
To me it’s vital to choose what defines me through traditional gender roles. The problem for younger males is there are fewer and fewer role model from which to pattern themselves.
 
Self definition, you defining yourself, is key to knowing yourself. It does not happen immediately. Some things that define you are obvious, intuitive, other need time to recognize and then commit. So take time to define yourself.
 
Look around for patterns to which you relate; people, actions, philosophical doctrines, cultural mores.
 
Then position yourself near them to learn them, but also absorb them, like osmosis.
 
The thing is the natural osmosis of the times in the area of the US that I know, will infect you with gender blur.
 
Gender blur prevents deep satisfaction (yes there maybe superficial happiness) and the enduring loving of each other through the mutual admiration of our differences and how each is a servant to the other in our unique gender biologically qualified ways is lost.
 
For us romantics this is tragic. No more great love stories. You have weak males wearing panties (figuratively and literally) made to be a laughing stock and wonder woman dressed in slutty clothes kicking ass.
 
The thing is the new generation thinks gender blur is normal and I am concerned that they will not find the deep satisfaction of each half of the yin yang symbol uniting to create a whole that transcends the two halves.
 
I see older Tico couples tranquil and fulfilled, very happy in service of their traditional gender roles. All is as it should be. No doubt. Security in their eyes.
 
If you can define yourself as a protector, provider and communicator and communicate the importance of you being respected as such then you will not suffer gender blur and experience a deeper form of satisfaction. Gender blur creates confusion.
 
Knowing what gender roles you will perform is essential to knowing yourself.
 
Like FT said he sees no problem in changing diapers. I agree. But do you do it as a service unto the other. Like a gift. Or is it part of your gender role. That’s the question.
 
Knowing yourself means knowing if you will be both a father and a mother. Or if you will be a father, and fill in as a mother only when necessary.
 
I firmly disagree that women can be anything other than poor fathers and that men can be anything other than poor mothers.
 
It’s like gays adopting. Yeah its better than having no parents at all but so far from ideal.
 
That is the same with gender blur. Better than nothing, mediocre at best, in my never to be humble opinion.
 
So knowing yourself means defining your roles in life.
 
It’s easy to say “know yourself,” but it is a process. I think very few people have engaged in the process, taken enough time and given enough effort to knowing themselves.
 
There is a big difference in knowing who you are today, and having the confidence to know who you will be tomorrow.

[V_Man]

Ok, curiosity has gotten the better of me. Which posts? I'm guessing you are referring to my statement that even if I blow $100k and don't find what I am looking for, it was still an amazing ride.

That statement will do very nicely!! 
I meant it as a compliment mate.

I was actually refering to all your posts. Your whole story. I feel that you gave the whole thing a really good go. You didn't do something half hearted. You went there and explored the whole thing in depth. In the end you decided the culture was not a good fit for you in the long term. It shows you know yourself and what is going to matter in the long term for you. I suspect you'll never regret it.

We have a saying about people like you and me.

We are the sort of people that are not going to die wondering.

[fathertime]

 
Like FT said he sees no problem in changing diapers. I agree. But do you do it as a service unto the other. Like a gift. Or is it part of your gender role. That’s the question.
 
Knowing yourself means knowing if you will be both a father and a mother. Or if you will be a father, and fill in as a mother only when necessary.
 
I firmly disagree that women can be anything other than poor fathers and that men can be anything other than poor mothers.
 

Regarding changing diapers….my feelings are as follows;
1.       Sometimes I change them strictly because I want to, as gay as it sounds sometimes it is fun to interact with a relaxed child during a diaper change.
2.       Sometimes I change a diaper just to be helpful and practice what I preach about being a team.
3.       On a relatively rare occasion, I change a diaper even when I’d prefer to lie on the couch, because my wife asks me too.   During these times I try to remember that I want to take as much of the burden as I can while I’m still young!   


since i'm quite a bit older than my wife...there may come a day in the distant future where i'm at home and she is out working...i don't think this would bother me...i see no reason to concern myself too much with who is doing what within the relationship...i'm still the shirtless hairy farting (smells like roses) male, and she is still the smooth skinned babe in a skirt. 


FFathertime!

[aconcepts]

i'm still the shirtless hairy farting (smells like roses) male, and she is still the smooth skinned babe in a skirt. [/size]


Jajajaja FT


Sounds like paradise at your pad. Glad you are living the dream!


One thing I like about your posts is that I get a sense that you are in command FT. You know what you want and you got it and the most important part is you seem happy with it. Plus you know why you do what you do. It works for you and that is most important. We don't need to know what makes others happy. just what makes us happy. Lets hope those are the same things that build strong families and raise physically and emotionally healthy kids - rather than this fricking madness i see in the US news...


God bless you. Lets hope it turns up roses and short skirted babes for all of us.

[Bob_S]

Regarding changing diapers….my feelings are as follows;
1.       Sometimes I change them strictly because I want to, as gay as it sounds sometimes it is fun to interact with a relaxed child during a diaper change.

Relaxed?  What do you use to medicate the baby?  My young'un was so squirmy and energetic, I virtually had to hog-tie her to keep her still enough during cleaning so she wouldn't roll and smoosh out a bigger mess than she already made.